Lukas laughed at the fates and ran his hands through his hair. "Some things is worth
riskin
' a life for, my man, and Budweiser is one of them."
Jimmy tapped the Bitch-Be-Quick Stick into the ground. "Ain't that the truth." He clicked his can to Jimmy's like a champagne toast before taking a long swig.
Frank sighed. "I guess I should admit I ain't had this much fun since we was in high school."
Jimmy giggled and shook his head.
"What's so funny?" Frank asked.
"
Nothin
', man. You sound like one of us after some beers. You just used the word
ain't
in a sentence. That's like three times or
somethin
'. Tells me you don't use that word much in the big city."
Frank nodded.
"I feel like myself again. I don't know if it's the river, the beer, or you two redneck bastards." He grinned. "God, what have I become?"
"You grew up
is
all, Frank," Lukas said. "Me and Jimmy, we're still like fuckin' kids. We drink and party like it's still 1982, man. We still have the same jobs down at the mill. We still drive the same fuckin' vehicle. Fuck man, I still wear the same
Black Sabbath
shirt when the mood strikes."
"But you're alive, Lukas," Frank said. "You're living your life. Sure I have more money and I have a nice place...but...but sometimes I don't even feel
alive
. I've laughed so much since you guys picked me up, my fucking stomach hurts. When I'm home, I don't laugh at all. I just go through the everyday routine. There are days when I feel dead inside. You guys may not have lots of money, but you live life as it's supposed to be lived. I guess you have no idea how good that is unless you live like I do."
"Maybe you should move back here," Jimmy said. "Hang with us a bit."
"I wish I could, Jimmy," Frank said, "but I've built myself a life up there and I can't just throw it away that easily. There isn't any work around here for a man like me. I come back here now and I feel like a ghost. Everything is pretty much exactly the way I left it, but I'm changed."
"Well, the least you can do is come and visit us more often, Frank," Lukas said. "You haven't been up here in three years. We both miss the hell out of you. We talk about you all the time. Goddamn, but we had some good times back in high school."
"I have one memory of you, Lukas, that always at least gives me a smile," Frank said.
"I have an
inklin
' that this may not be a fond memory for me," Lukas said, smirking as he cracked open another beer.
"Remember that night we were at Jessie Reynolds' house smoking weed and drinking? It was the year before she died in that car accident, the night we went skinny dipping."
Jimmy laughed. "Hell yeah, I remember that night. Lacy Miller and I got it on."
Lukas gasped. "You fucked Lacy? She was like three hundred pounds, man!"
"Fool, you don't have any clue what you're
talkin
' about," Jimmy said. "Sure she's fat now. Back then she was just chubby. Had a nice fat ass, not obese like now, just chubby, tasty, and
sweet
."
Frank and Lukas exploded into laughter. "I'm serious, man," Jimmy said. "She was
somethin
' special. I'll never forget ol' Lacy."
"And her chubby, tasty, sweet ass," Frank added.
"You never told me what your memory of me was," Lukas said.
"Don't be
doin
' that shit,
startin
' and not
finishin
'. Come on, give."
"Well, I remember it well. We were down in the basement, smoking and drinking. That song by Kansas came on. '
Dust in the Wind
.
'
Do you remember that one? It lulled us a bit, I think. I remember that no one said nothing. Total and complete silence."
Frank's eyes were glistening in the twilight as he remembered. "I guess we were all sort of listening to the lyrics. I looked over at you, Lukas, and you were mouthing the words, rocking back and forth and there were tears coming out of your eyes. I know you don't want to admit it, but you were crying."
"Get the fuck outta here. I don't remember anything like that
happenin
' at all."
"Oh, you remember it, my friend. I can see it in your eyes. Anyway, you started crying, and I said what the hell is a matter with you. And you said, '
I'm gonna die someday, man. All of us are gonna fucking die. Me, you, Jimmy, my mama—all of us.'
" Frank paused to watch Lukas' grinning face. "And then I realized at that moment...at that very moment, you at seventeen fucking years old had just realized your mortality. It took a song by fucking Kansas to give you the realization that you were mortal."
"I can't believe you're
tellin
' this story, Frank," Lukas said. "Jimmy's gonna be
singin
' this song to me forever now."
"Believe it or not, that's an important memory for me. You have to understand that I discovered I was going to die when I was seven. I remember the day very, very well. There was no reason for me to think that way. No reason at all, but one second I had the world by the tail and the very next I was standing in the middle of my yard, totally shocked. I realized I was not the center of the universe. I realized that things occurred around me and not because of me. I realized—"
"That you are full of shit," Jimmy said.
"—I realized that not only did I
not
matter in the great, grand scheme, but that I would die and it would all continue."
"Yeah," said Lukas, his voice husky.
"And you didn't figure that out until you were seventeen. Man. Didn't you notice that once you learned that, you were more careful? I've been careful all of my life. Maybe even too careful. That's why I like you guys so much. In high school you were crazy. Crazy because you never once thought you were going to die."
Lukas shook his head and sought another beer. "I'm still a little crazy like that," he said.
"Definitely. I remember we just looked each other in the face for a second—both of us thinking about how we were gonna someday die. The lyrics
All we are is dust in the wind
sweeping through us. Jimmy was laying on the floor, half passed out. He wasn't even listening to us. And he shouts, '
This song fucking sucks! Put on some Floyd!'.
And Lukas, me and you just looked at each other and then we just fucking lost it, man. Totally lost it. Jimmy just didn't get it. You and me, we laughed and laughed and laughed. We must have laughed for twenty minutes straight. And Jimmy, Jimmy was getting pissed because we wouldn't tell him what we were laughing about. Hell, I don't even think we could have told him. It was one of those things. God, life was so much simpler then. Every time I hear that song I smile now. It reminds me of better times."
"I found me out something good tonight," Jimmy said. "Lukas cried to '
Dust in the Wind
.' And Lukas didn't realize he was going to die someday until he was seventeen."
"You shut up, Jimmy," Lukas said. "I don't want to hear it. I especially don't want to hear it from no fool who done fucked some three hundred-pound woman."
"I'm
tellin
' you she wasn't that fat back then! She was only chubby," Jimmy exclaimed.
"Yeah, we know," Frank said dryly. "Just chubby, sweet, and tasty."
Instead of laughing, his words just died in the night.
Three sighs from three men.
Eventually, night shadows crept into their reminiscence like ghosts against the retreating rays of sunshine that had so recently been stabbing through the thick branches. It was then that Frank realized how far back in the woods they were. How far from civilization they were. Frank began to stare at the encroaching shadows, placation dissolving in the heaviness of a well-remembered fear.
He stood up and sat his beer down carefully. His hand trembled.
"We gotta start walking back. We can't be sleeping out here without any blankets or a way to start a fire."
Tossing his beer can into the pile with the other empties, Jimmy said, "Hell, my jeans are even still damp. Feels like I got sand all up in my ass."
"How many miles you think we have to go?" Lukas asked.
"At least three, maybe five, I think. That was a long ride. We're going to have to—"
Heavy rustling in the forest made his mouth snap shut on his tongue. The warm metallic taste went ignored as a thousand hoary images slugged through his mind. They had just spoken of mortality and his visions were now a duality of dark shadows and an old dead friend. He felt a cry grow within his breast, only the mottled thickness of his fear holding it in check.
Frank's legs begged to run free, blood attempting to feed high school memories into middle aged muscles, but all that could be generated was a trembling that began in his knees and spread outwards to his entire body. He was encompassed by the same sweeping doom deer felt in the last seconds of life.
Death was onrushing...
...invisible
...effortless.
As a dark figure pushed the bushes aside and stepped into the clearing, Lukas shrieked a thin, long peel, as nightmare turned real. Death walked on two legs, graceless in its approach. At least seven feet tall, it was covered entirely with thick, bristly brown hair. Yellow eyes narrowed, evaluating prey, contemplating choices. Dark lips peeled back in a near-human grin revealing dozens of dagger-long teeth.
Then, when Frank believed it was about to launch itself, the great beast snorted and sat down. It appeared to be studying them, comfortable in its odorous sphere of musky urine.
Death delayed was not the same as surviving. Frank willed his feet to slide back several inches, their answer to his perfectly enunciated internal imperative to run like the wind. The delay allowed him to see more clearly, Grim Reaper shadows dissolving, showing the true form of the creature that had intruded into their clearing.
At first it had seemed to be a bear, but it was the opposing thumbs and human-like features that detailed his earlier mistake.
And the face.
A face that was almost human. Like an ape, but not. Frank remembered Darwin and wondered what the stuffy old man would have thought of this thing.
Then he remembered too much—The Widow, boy scouts and a summer of fun turned tragic.
His head swung back and forth as his eyes sought out half-forgotten landmarks.
The circle of stones.
The eddying water after the rapids.
The tree where...
Whatever fear had gripped him before, clenched, phantom knuckles tightly around his throat until his heart stopped. He sagged and begged to fall.
"What...the...fuck," Jimmy whispered, backing up slowly, his mouth opening and closing like a life-sized ventriloquist dummy.
The beast gazed steadily at Frank. The great yellow eyes opened in almost recognition. The lips closed and the creature seemed to smile.
Frank breathed—the sound of a tire deflating. There was something. Something that he saw there that...
Suddenly, Lukas launched himself at the beast screaming a Barbarian war cry, the Bitch-Be-Quick Stick held high in the air like an avenging sword. The thing tried to roll away, but the staff crunched sickeningly into its massive head, a misty spray of blood spit in all directions. The beast managed to stand up, but Lukas continued swinging like a Berserker, Budweiser and fear his own armor.
No. Don't.
Frank screamed, but the words never left. His fear had disappeared, only to be replaced by a crazy sensation of familiarity. He knew, he didn't know how he knew, but he knew the beast meant them no harm. Whatever its apparent ferociousness, it didn't want them dead. And as sure as he had ever been about anything, Frank understood it was because it was lonely.