Apple's Angst (10 page)

“What is up with you guys? Why are you laughing?” Crazy Aunt Hazel demanded. “What? Did you think no man would ever propose to me? Is that it? Did you think I would never find love? Did you think I'd be alone forever and ever? Did you think no one could ever love
me?”

“Of course not! We're just so happy for you!” said Happy, racing to give Aunt Hazel a hug. Brooklyn followed suit.

Apple noticed Mr. Kelly standing by the door, looking on proudly with his hands behind his back. He also seemed a little nervous, like he wasn't sure whether or not to walk inside. Apple felt bad for him, but not bad enough to be the one to say, “Come in!”

He was her math teacher, after all, and to see him in her home was strange, to say the least.

“Apple! Isn't this the best news ever?!” Crazy Aunt Hazel screamed.

“Yes! Yes!” Apple said, trying to sound as excited as possible. “It's very exciting!”

“I think she's just a little uncomfortable knowing that her aunt marrying her teacher,” Happy whispered to Hazel, loudly enough for Mr. Kelly to hear. Happy enjoyed making people she didn't necessarily like feel uncomfortable. And making strict, geeky Mr. Kelly uncomfortable? It was too perfect an opportunity for Happy to pass up.

Apple smiled politely. “Of course not … well, maybe a little.”

“This is definitely a night for champagne,” Apple's dad, who was standing by the fridge door, announced. “If Hazel is getting married, that means she won't be hanging out here so much,” he said, jokingly. “Jim, she's all yours now! Bee Bee, do we have any on hand?”

“Second shelf!” Apple's mother directed.

“Well, this certainly is a happy occasion. And it certainly is a
surprise,”
Dr. Bee Bee Berg said. “You've only known each other for—what?—about ten weeks? In fact, Apple and I were talking just a couple of hours ago about people getting married so quickly these days.”

“Don't ruin this for me, Bee Bee,” Hazel said, her tone turning sour. “When you know, you know! And we know, right, Jim? We know we are meant to be together. We knew it from the second we met.”

Hazel walked over to Mr. Kelly and brought him over to the couch, where she forced him to sit down and then, much to Apple's horror, proceeded to sit on his lap.

Apple was embarrassed. Not only was her math teacher in her house, but her aunt was sitting on his lap, in front of her parents and best friends. She would never hear the end of this.

Brooklyn and Happy again burst out in laughter. “Of course you and
Jim
are meant to be together,” laughed Happy. “You and
Jim
make the perfect couple.”

“Hold on there, Happy. I'm still Mr. Kelly to you!” their math teacher finally said, attempting to make a joke. But it fell flat, as his jokes usually did in class. Was there even such thing as a funny math teacher? wondered Apple.

There was so much mayhem that Apple didn't notice a pair of arms suddenly wrapping around her waist. She jumped in shock.

“It's just me!” Lyon said, handing her a bouquet of flowers and giving her a peck on the cheek.

“Ah, that's so sweet,” Brooklyn said, sighing romantically. “I wish I had a boyfriend who gave me flowers.”

Though Brooklyn had been hanging out recently with Hopper, she could not get him to commit to anything, not even dinner or a phone call. But Brooklyn, to her credit, or maybe thanks to her yoga and meditation, was laid back about these things. It had only
recently begun to bug her that she might be more into Hopper than he was into her. Apple imagined it was especially hard on Brooklyn to be single when her two best friends were in relationships.

“Thanks. That's so nice of you,” Apple said, smelling the roses then placing them on a table. She would put them in a vase later.

“So I guess it went well? All this celebration?” Lyon asked, smiling.

“It's not for me,” Apple said, as Lyon gazed at her. “Really, it's not.”

“It's for me!” Hazel cried out, taking a swig of champagne straight from the bottle. “Jim and I are getting married. He proposed!”

“That's great, uh, Mr. Kelly,” said Lyon, walking over to shake his hand. At least Lyon didn't have Mr. Kelly as a teacher this year, thought Apple. He was lucky.

“Let's go up to my bedroom for a second,” Apple whispered to Lyon. She could no longer stand to see her aunt being so, well, so much in Crazy Aunt overload. “We'll be right back,” Apple called out to the rest of the room, though no one seemed to hear. Brooklyn and Happy were busy talking and sneaking sips of champagne. Guy had just walked in, joining the party, and hugging Mr. Kelly. Mr. Kelly looked extremely uncomfortable being embraced by Guy, who was screaming, “Congratulations! Guy is so happy for you! Guy has the perfect friend to make your wedding suit! Guy knows just where to find the perfect centerpieces! Guy
loves
weddings!”

I
t was too much for Apple. She needed at least a minute or two of peace and quiet.

“So did it go well?” Lyon asked, once they were in her bedroom alone. “I want to hear everything.”

“I think so,” Apple said, pulling him in for a hug. She immediately relaxed in his arms.

“It must have. You didn't call me after like you promised,” Lyon said lightly.

Oh, my God, thought Apple. She was the worst girlfriend ever. She had forgotten to call Lyon twice! In one day! What was wrong with her brain?

“I am so sorry. It was a crazy day and now Aunt Hazel has just announced she's getting married to Mr. Kelly after, like, three months. Doesn't that make you sick?” Apple asked.

“Well, when you know, you know,” said Lyon sweetly.

“God, you sound like Aunt Hazel. That's exactly what she said,” Apple laughed.

“Come give me another hug, you love cynic,” Lyon said, smiling.

Apple gave Lyon another tight hug. They started to kiss. She loved how Lyon kissed so gently. She loved the feeling of his fingers tickling her back as they kissed. He had just reached under her shirt when—

“Hey, Apple,” Happy said, bursting in the room. “Oops! Sorry to interrupt. Should I come back in a bit? Or perhaps you should think about getting a lock on your door.”

“No, it's okay,” said Apple, pulling down her shirt. She could feel her face turn red. “What's up?”

“Is it okay if Zen comes over? I told him we were all here and he wants to congratulate Aunt Hazel,” Happy laughed.

“Right, Happy. You just want him to come over to laugh at Mr. Kelly,” said Apple. She knew Happy too well.

“Well, duh!” She smirked.

“Fine. Whatever,” Apple said.

“Great! But you two better come down soon! Your mother is asking where you went. My guess is that if she doesn't see you in the next thirty seconds, she'll be barging in like I did,” sang Happy. “And I don't think you really want your mother to see you two in such a passionate embrace! Just a warning!”

“Thanks,” said Apple.

Apple couldn't ignore that Lyon looked a little put out about Happy wanting Zen to come by. Of course he knew, as the whole school did, all about Apple's former Super-Sized Zen Crush. But that was over. She
was with Lyon now, and Zen was with Happy. He had nothing to worry about, as Apple constantly seemed to be reminding him. And yet every time Lyon found out that she and Zen were partners on a project for school or sat beside each other in class, he seemed annoyed. Perhaps he had heard rumors at school, even though they weren't true, that Apple was still into Zen.

“Is something wrong?” she said, taking Lyon by his arm downstairs, where they went to lounge on the couch across from her aunt and her—ga!—future uncle.

“No. It's your night. Let's celebrate your new job,” he said, plastering a big smile on his face.

“Internship. No pay. Real jobs, you get paid,” Apple said.

“Well, I still think it's amazing,” he said, planting a kiss on Apple's mouth. “God, I just wish I could get you alone. It seems like we haven't been alone in a while,” he whispered in her ear.

“It's only been, like, two days,” laughed Apple, smiling as she recalled their movie night.

“That's like two weeks for me,” said Lyon.

“You're sweet,” she said, pouting, pretending to be sad.

“How about tomorrow night I take you out for dinner? Any place you want. My treat. To celebrate your new job!”

“That sounds great,” Apple said. But then she remembered. Her face fell.

“What?” asked Lyon, looking concerned.

“I can't! I start work tomorrow. It's my first day! I have no idea how late I have to stay.”

Apple felt horrible. Her amazing boyfriend wanted to take her out to celebrate her new job, and now her new job was already getting in the way of her relationship.

“I'm really sorry. I just can't!” she moaned.

“Well, can I at least be your chauffeur and drop you off and pick you up after work?” Lyon asked

“There's nothing that would make me happier,” Apple said, giving him another quick kiss on the mouth.

“Okay, take it to a hotel room,” said Brooklyn. “There are other people here, you know! Have some consideration for us maybe-single people!”

“Oh, poor Brooklyn,” said Happy. “You don't need anyone. You have your gurus and your yoga instructors and—”

“Stop trying to make me feel better, Happy. And stop making fun of me!”

“You know we love you. And Hopper
does
like you. He is just a little slow. You know that. He just doesn't understand what to do. He needs to be
told
what to do.”

“Yeah,” laughed Brooklyn. “It's so hard to pick up the phone.”

“Don't you worry, Brooklyn,” Crazy Aunt Hazel said, joining in. “If I can find my soulmate, so will you. So will you.”

Then the doorbell rang.

“It's Zen! It's Zen! I'll get it,” Happy said, jumping up from the couch.

“Hey, baby,” she said, giving Zen a hard kiss on his lips as soon as he came through the door. “Come in. It's a party!”

“I can see that,” Zen said, looking at everyone in the room.

When his eyes rested on Lyon, there was an immediate awkwardness. Or was Apple just being paranoid for the umpteenth time today? Was she just imagining that the vibe had suddenly changed in the room? Zen would barely look at Lyon, and Lyon would not meet Zen's eyes. But Lyon was always friendly, which is one of the reasons Apple adored him so much. Plus, he had to understand that Zen was dating Apple's best friend, so of course Apple would have to spend some time with him. It was inevitable.

“Hey, man,” Lyon said, holding out his hand to Zen.

“Hey,” said Zen, giving it a quick shake.

Zen turned to Apple.

“So, Apple, I hear you're going to be working at
Angst!”
he said. “According to Happy, it's the best magazine in the world,” he added, somewhat mockingly, but with a sweet smile. Happy swatted him.

“It
is
the best magazine in the world,” said Happy. “I look forward to it every week! One day I'm going to be on the cover!”

“Yup, I'm starting tomorrow,” Apple said, grabbing Lyon's hand so he would be reassured—not that he needed reassuring. But Apple wanted to make him feel comfortable.

“You must be excited! I hear you're getting your own advice column,” Zen said.

“I'm a little nervous, to tell you the truth,” Apple said. “They're starting a television show to go along with the magazine and I have to be on television too.”

“You never told me that,” said Lyon, looking at her strangely, dropping her hand from his. Apple was surprised at this but pretended not to notice.

“I was going to. I just never got the chance! I don't want to admit it, but I am nervous. I want to do well there. I don't want to screw up,” said Apple. “I can barely bring myself to think about it.”

“Well, don't be nervous. I know you're going to do great,” Lyon said supportively.

“We'll see,” Apple said. “What's the worst that can happen? Well, I guess I could get fired.”

Apple and her friends listened as another cork popped in the kitchen and Aunt Hazel screamed in total drunken delight. For a moment, Apple was jealous. She wished she could be as happy and carefree as her aunt, who didn't seem to have a worry in the world at this moment. Apple hadn't even started her new job and already she was imagining telling everyone she knew how she screwed up and why she got fired, ruining her future in magazines and television
forever
.