Arbiter (The Arbiter Chronicles Book 1) (10 page)

She said the words with such finality that Rae couldn't help but believe them. The girl slowly exhaled, letting her hands fall to her sides. She saw the light and shadow around her now, light to her left and shadow to her right. They wove into each other at the edges, blurring the line between them, and she knew that what the High Lord was saying was true. She had seen the truth behind light and shadow. She would never be the same again.

…
But perhaps, you grow close to becoming who you were meant to be…

She didn't know about that. She didn't want to be the Arbiter. She didn't want the responsibility behind it.

But a part of her wished she could be the Arbiter. A part of her wished she could handle that responsibility.

A part of her wanted to fight the Reaper. For people like Alcian, people like Nathan, people like Ania.

People like Cathel, if she was being honest. People who made her believe that there were still good people in the world…

…
Now, awake, Arbiter. Awake and decide.

Awake. Yes, that sounded like a good idea. She should. She should come awake.

Without thinking, she wrapped the light and the shadow around her arms, grasping onto them. Rae closed her eyes, feeling them around her, gathering around her and pressing in. She inhaled deeply.

Her eyes snapped open, and she pushed out, releasing their power. Rae felt it leave her in a rush. She felt herself rise, felt herself break the surface of the water.

She gasped for breath, opening her eyes again.

This time, sensation and feeling returned at once, slamming into her at all sides and assaulting her senses. Rae took a shaky breath and rolled over onto her side, pressing her hands to her temple and drawing her knees up to herself as she attempted to calm the throbbing in her head. Her mouth felt dry, and her head felt like it was about to explode. The stone of the High Lord's palace was cold and unforgivingly hard beneath her, and the sound of trickling water coming from the spring felt like someone was pounding drums on the inside of her head.

She felt sick, and quickly clamped her lips together to keep herself from throwing up, shudders wracking her body as the temperature around her seemed to shift from hot to cold—too hot and too cold. She wanted to go back, back into unconsciousness, back into the peace of that world of light.

Rae clenched her fist tightly, her nails digging into her palm. The pain grounded her, reminding her that this was her body and this was her reality. It cut through the fog of her mind, and the overdose of sensations slowly eased, the power settling back down inside of her as she slowly relaxed, exhaling quietly.

When it was over, she lay there, staring at her outstretched hand and at the moonlight reflected off of the pool of the pavilion. She took several slow breaths, reorienting herself. She looked up, and was aware now that the High Lord was watching her, her expression impassive as her eyes fixed on Rae.

Slowly, she disentangled her other hand from her black hair, pushing herself up into a sitting position. Her body still felt a little unsteady, but the pain was gone, and she was beginning to feel a little like herself again.

No…not like herself. Something had changed with her. She could feel it, even without reaching inside for her Source.

It hovered at the back of her mind, a sensation like the flutter of wings, a portion of power that both was hers and wasn't. She could feel it melding with her Source. It had changed the shape of her power, changed her from the inside out. It wasn't hers, it hadn't come from her, and at that moment, she understood what the High Lord meant when she said that the Decadal Series would make her something more than human.

"…I see that you've succeeded," said the High Lord, once Rae had collected herself enough to raise her eyes to meet hers. "You have taken a portion of my Source into your own, and in doing so, you have granted yourself a portion of my power. This is the power of the Decadal Series—to gain a fraction of the power of each High Lord of the Ivali—should they be willing to grant it to you."

Rae slowly exhaled. She nodded once, closing her hands around the fabric of her pants as she looked at the High Lord. Alcian met her eyes, her expression softening. She frowned in concern.

"How do you feel?" she asked.

How 
did
 she feel? It would be easy to say that she no longer felt like herself, but that would be a lie. She did feel like herself. In fact, it would probably be closer to say that she felt more like herself than she had felt in a long while. Alcian's power had been completely assimilated into her Source, so that she couldn't tell where one ended and the other began, and she understood then, implicitly, that she hadn't been taught anything in the strictest sense of the word. Humans were taught magic. Ivali didn't need to be taught. They understood their Source. They accessed it as easily as breathing, knew its shape from the day they were born. And although she was still very much human, some small part of her, the magic part of her, had become Ivali.

She knew. She knew how this Decadal Spell worked. It was the moon, the shifting heavens, the power she had taken from Alcian.

And she understood now why the Decadal Series was so feared, and so legendary.

She shook her head, taking a deep breath. "…Different," she finally said. "But good…"

"That is good," said Alcian, nodding. "You should feel different, because you are. Look down at your hand."

Rae did so, staring at the back of it. A silver mark stood out against the back of her right hand, shining brightly against her skin. It was in the shape of a circle, with a smaller circle drawn inside of it so that it looked like two crescent moons facing each other. As she watched, the light slowly faded, until only the silver mark was seen. She slowly curled her fingers inward, staring at the mark.

"Now you are thrice marked.”

Thrice marked…

The black mark of the Reaper's geis on her arm, reminding her that she only had one year and that time was ticking fast.

The mark of the Arbiter in her blood, the mark that the Ivali saw, but that she couldn't see.

And now Alcian's geis on her hand, binding her to her fate.

She lowered her hand, raising her eyes to Alcian's again.

"When you encounter the Queen and the Consort, show them that mark," said Alcian. "It will help your case."

"And Kaeltharin?" asked Rae.

"As promised," said Alcian, nodding. "I will tell you where to find it. The Shard of the Star is located in the north, in the Spire of the Sisters. In this, the 
tarethan 
will be a valuable ally. The Sisters share a High Lord position between them. You will need to prove yourself as Arbiter to them, as you have done to me, before they give you the Shard."

"Will I be able to make it in a year?"

"It is possible," said Alcian, "Depending on the choices you make. You must seek out the other High Lords as well. You need to master the Decadal Series, in order to have a chance at defeating the Reaper."

“What about the Dark Lords?”

“As I have said, there are some that may help you. It will be risky either way. I cannot make any promises regarding the behavior of any of the other Lords, particularly those of the Dark Blood.”

"…Can you tell me where they are?"

"Some," said Alcian. "Although we convene occasionally, we live in isolation. I can show you where the Spire is, and I can show you where the High Court is located. Beyond that, I'm afraid I can only give you general advice. I can show you the boundaries of their individual territories, and I can tell you this. The Edgelands are not so vast that the Ivali do not know their Lords."

"…So if I go into another High Lord's lands, I might be able to find someone who can tell me exactly where the High Lord is?"

"Yes," said Alcian, nodding. "But I urge extreme caution. Those who would strike you down have lands as well. These, I will mark, but it is impossible to fully track their movements. Be wary at all times. Nothing is as it seems."

"I will give you a map. One more complete than that copied by the 
tarethan
. It will not show everything, for these lands are wild, but as much as I can give to you, I will. I urge you to make haste for the Spire, and once you finish that, go to the High Court and present yourself to the Queen. You will likely not be full Arbiter by then, but there is no love lost between the High Court and the Reaper. Her enmity may be enough to sway her in your favor. If not, no one else is more likely to be able to tell you where to go next."

Rae nodded, making a mental note of this information. Spire, and then Queen. She had to do that in a year, while incidentally seeking out any High Lords she could run into along the way.

Alcian made it sound like it was possible, but it wouldn't be easy. Certainly, they couldn't afford any long delays. She and Cathel would need to travel fast.

"I will give you this," said the High Lord, reaching for a delicate silver chain around her waist. She unclasped the chain, holding something dark out towards Rae. Rae took it with both hands, staring down at it. It was a small knife in a black sheath, the silver chain taking the place of a sword belt. She slowly slid it out of the leather sheath, staring at it. The knife's blade gleamed in the moonlight, and the light seemed to distort as it reflected against the metal, causing a somewhat muddled glow. The blade was almost impractically thin, with ornate designs engraved into the hilt.

She knew nothing about weapons or steel, but she didn't need to know anything to know how well-made this knife was.

"It is known as faesteel," said Alcian. "Even among our kind, it is the best. It will never lose its edge, never break, and never become enchanted. It will never cut its wielder, and will only bond to another if it is freely bequeathed. May it serve you well."

"Thank you," said Rae, not knowing what else to say. She pressed her finger lightly to the edge of the blade. True enough, she came away without a cut, even though the blade's sharp edge was almost painfully evident. She slipped the knife back into its sheath, her movements reverent as she set it aside.

"Return to the 
tarethan
," said the High Lord. "Sleep. Tomorrow, I the two of you must set off again. I will come before dawn, to bid you farewell."

"…Mm," said Rae quietly, getting to her feet. She picked up the knife, gathering up the silver chain in her hand and holding it by its sheath. She watched the High Lord, but Alcian didn't say anything. She simply watched Rae, as if waiting for her to leave. Rae hesitated, then turned away, heading towards the steps that led down from the pavilion.

She paused as she reached the top step, clenching her fists.

Rae looked out at the woods in front of her, at the river, at the moon—
five days from full—
a new part of her mind registered. She thought of Alcian, of Ania, of the week they'd spent together, and she slowly exhaled, turning back towards her.

"…A-Alcian," she said, using the High Lord's name for the first time.

The High Lord, looked up. "…Yes?"

"Thank you," she said again.

Alcian stared at her. A slow smile spread over her face, and she nodded once. "…You are welcome, Rae Miller," she said. "May our paths cross again."

Rae nodded once, then turned away, beginning her descent and heading slowly to camp.

Seeing the High Lord during the day was strange. She didn’t seem to fit in with the bright sunlight of her glade. Rae was slightly surprised at first when she appeared to them, but she knew almost instantly that she didn’t have to be. Of course the High Lord could walk during the day. She was a High Lord. If she didn’t, it was because she simply chose not to.

She and Cathel stood in front of Alcian and Ania, their packs slung over their shoulders. The High Lord had gifted them with new traveling clothes, and the both of them were now dressed in dark shirts, traveling pants, and a new set of boots that were much softer than the set Varra had given them. Cathel’s sword belt and sheath were gifts from the High Lord as well. The sheath was smooth black leather. Like the stone of the original ruins, it didn’t reflect sunlight. She didn’t ask what animal’s hide the leather had been made from, but she could tell that it wasn’t ordinary, especially by the reverent way that Cathel handled it.

The cloaks Alcian had given them rested on their shoulders. They were a much lighter fabric than their original cloaks, letting in air and relieving them from the summer heat, but Alcian had explained that they would also keep them warm, if needed. These were black as well, but they gave Rae the impression of shifting shadows as she moved, and she wondered what material they had been made out of. Whatever it was was soft and supple to the touch, and it seemed to flow around her like water as the two of them faced the High Lord and her daughter.

“Thank you for everything, High Lord,” said Cathel, giving Alcian a bow.

“You are most welcome,
tarethan
,” said Alcian, smiling at him. “I wish that you could have stayed longer, but you and the Arbiter must make haste.”

Cathel’s eyes moved towards her and Rae froze, noticing the expression on his face. He looked suddenly angry. Since the expression was directed at her, it wasn't entirely a welcome change.

She took a step back, turning away from him and facing Alcian and Ania.

“I understand,” said Cathel, straightening up.

“Goodbye, friend,” said Ania with a grin, waving at Cathel. “We will play again.”

“Yes,” promised Cathel, nodding at Ania. “Someday.”

He turned away from her, looking back at Rae. “Come on,” he said curtly, turning around and heading down the path that had opened for them out of the glade. Rae stared at him in confusion and slight irritation, watching him go before looking back at the High Lord.

She couldn’t describe how it felt waking up this morning. It felt as though she was seeing the world through brand new eyes, and she knew that she had Alcian to thank for that. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to be Arbiter, but she did know something. She was more complete now that she had the Decadal Spell, somehow. And she was grateful, because Alcian had given her that gift. It was as though she was looking into some small fraction of the High Lord’s world. She took a deep breath, not knowing how to express those feelings.

She settled on a quick “Thanks for everything,” nodding once at the High Lord and Ania before hurrying after Cathel.

“Arbiter,” called Alcian, interrupting her. She paused, halfway to the mage. Cathel stopped in his tracks as well, looking back at them.

“Yes?”

Alcian reached out, gracefully plucking one of the wisps from the air. She held the orb of light in her hands as though it were solid, light rising off of the surface of the wisp like smoke. “This little one is called Larin. In our language, it means
bright like the sun
. I bequeath it to you, to light your way.” As Rae watched, she released the wisp, pushing it towards her with a soft motion. The wisp bobbed in the air, before it seemed to gain confidence, shooting like an arrow towards her.

Rae raised her arm, understanding in that moment what she had to do. The wisp struck her forearm, dissipating into a ribbon of light that wrapped around her arm before slowly sinking into her skin. She felt it there, pulsing softly beneath the surface, before it buried itself deep within her. She felt it as a presence in the back of her mind, ready to rise up if she ever needed it.

It didn’t speak, not in the sense that Alcian or Ania did, but it wasn’t simply pure energy either. The wisp was alive, and she could feel its consciousness, buried deep beneath her own, in the part of her Source that had been transformed by Alcian’s. It wasn’t as unsettling of a feeling as she would have thought, but she knew that she was seeing it through eyes that had been touched by the High Lord’s knowledge.

The High Lord’s knowledge that was now hers…

She placed her hand over her heart, feeling Larin slowly settling down, before she turned towards Alcian. She mimicked Cathel’s deep bow. It seemed like the best thing to do.

“Thank you,” she said.

Behind her, Cathel cleared his throat. She straightened up, glancing back at her traveling companion. He wasn’t looking at her, his eyes fixed on a patch of forest off to her right. There was a deep frown on his face, and his green eyes were dark. Her brow furrowed slightly at this, but she nodded once, following him. Cathel gave the High Lord and Ania a  last respectful bow, before heading off into the woods.

#

Cathel’s mood didn’t improve as they got farther from the High Lord’s glade. At first, Rae thought that he was just annoyed at having to travel again, but the farther they traveled, the more she began to realize that that wasn’t the case. He walked ahead of her, leading the way, and he seemed to care about their journey and their destination, but he studiously avoided looking at her, and when he did, she caught a slight hint of anger in his eyes. The atmosphere around them had changed—the quiet contemplation of the first week replaced by tension.

It wasn’t that he was short-tempered with her, or that he treated her badly. When she spoke to him, he answered in a way that was just as polite as always. He looked out for her, and once, stopped to clear a path for her when the road had become too tangled for her to move through. He did it with the same care as he always had, even though he refused to look at her. But it was obvious that something wasn’t right. It felt as though everything they had built up over the past few days—the camaraderie that had formed slowly between them—had faded away. He helped her, but it was strictly business.

He was angry at her, she realized as they walked. She must have done something to offend him.

That was a good thing, though. That was what she wanted. There was no hope for a friendship between them, not when the Reaper’s threat hung over her head. She stared down at her hand, where Alcian’s geis lay hidden beneath a leather glove.

That was the extent of her and Cathel’s relationship, after all.

Strictly business.

But when morning faded into afternoon and afternoon faded into twilight, Rae was forced to admit that she didn’t like this turn of events. She didn’t think she would crave companionship so badly, until Cathel had presented her with this sudden lack of it. And although she would never admit it out loud, she missed seeing the Cathel that she had grown to respect in the glade—the Cathel who would protect a Ivali child and a girl that he hardly knew.

She hated herself for it. Was she so weak that she would demand friendship from people, even though she knew what its consequences would be? Rae folded her arms, keeping her eyes set firmly on the ground as Cathel went about setting up camp. She kicked a rock out of her way, sitting by the side of the road as she watched him.

She should be happy.

This was what she wanted.

She didn’t need to get attached.

Rae clenched her fist tightly, feeling her gloved fingers digging into her palm as she watched him move, his eyes fixed everywhere but on her. Despite herself, her thoughts turned towards him, towards his current change in behavior.

What had she done? What had she done to cause him to turn away?

Was it really her that had made him angry? Or was he somehow angry at himself?

She exhaled slowly, rising to her feet and walking off. Cathel looked up at her from where he sat arranging wood for their fire. “Where are you going?” he asked.

“River,” she answered quickly. “I want a drink.”

Cathel nodded once, turning back to his work and not saying anything more. That was it. No comment on how short-tempered she was being, no request to bring back more water for the camp, and no words of caution.

She scowled, staring down at the ground as she walked away.

She should be happy.

But she hated this.

He did attempt to teach her magic that night, the two of them sitting across from each other by the fire. He was trying to teach her the third spell of the Teachings, something that she had been trying to learn since she had mastered fire. This one was supposed to be simple—a spell to reveal other spells—but she had been having trouble mastering the exact way to attune her Source to other Sources. It had been slow going for her in the glade, but it was even slower now.

After the first twenty minutes of the lesson, Cathel sighed and dropped her hand. It fell to the ground between them, the air surprisingly cold against her skin as he let go. She looked up at him, and he slowly shook his head. For one moment, his eyes were fixed on hers, and she got the impression that he wasn’t really angry at her, or at least if he was, then he was angry at himself for it as well.

“This isn’t working,” he said, sounding almost resentful. “You don’t need this. You have all the magic you’ll ever need.”

He didn’t leave after that, but she did, quietly getting up and walking away. She leaned against a tree trunk once she was far enough away from camp, making sure to keep it in sight. Cathel didn’t move from his seat after she left, his back towards her as he stared at the fire.

Rae wondered if he was watching her. She wondered if he even cared.

And she wondered why she did.

She slowly exhaled, fixing her eyes on the dark clearing in front of her. He was right, of course. She did have all the magic she’d ever need.

Well, if he wasn’t going to teach her tonight, she still intended to learn something.

With that in mind, she raised her hand, summoning the magic that the High Lord had given her and casting threads of light out into the clearing. She put all of her frustration at Cathel behind the attacks, the light becoming brighter and brighter as she moved, flurries of light shooting outwards into the forest.

When she returned an hour later, sweaty and drained, Cathel didn’t make any indication of having seen the blinding light she had produced. Instead, he looked up from his book as she approached, telling her that he would take first watch if she wanted to sleep. She collapsed onto her bedroll without a word, drawing a blanket over herself and lying on her side.

She definitely did not point out that she was certain Cathel had already finished reading that book, considering he had lent it to her in the glade.

She managed to sleep, but that was no surprise. It seemed like she could sleep through virtually anything nowadays.

The next day wasn’t much better than the previous one, although that was more because of her than Cathel. The mage seemed to regret his previous actions, and would occasionally attempt to engage her in conversation, but this time, it was Rae who turned away. She didn’t know why, because she wanted to talk to him, but part of her couldn’t summon up the words or the will to speak with him.

He’d hurt her yesterday. And she knew that she was hurting him today, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t bring herself to take the hand that he was offering her, because she had been so coldly refused the day before.

And he seemed to understand that, because as morning became afternoon, he simply stopped trying. The situation became worse than before then, with both of them ignoring each other.

It made the peace of the first few days seem like a dream…

The forest grew thicker, and they got lost twice. Once, Cathel managed to find the path with his magic, commanding the ground to clear a path towards the road. The second time, he stood up, wiping the sweat from his brow and nudging the ground with his foot. “It’s not working,” he said, turning back towards her. “The ground doesn’t want to cooperate this time.”

“Alright…” she said, not meeting his eyes. “I’ll try something.”

She stepped forward, staring out at the woods. They were deeper and darker now—the trees older and the canopy thicker. This was the sort of world fairy tales were set in, she realized. Not the new versions, not the ones with the princes and fairy godmothers and happy ever afters, but the old kind—the deep, dark kind that people talked about in whispers in the days before the magic faded away.

The thought scared her a little, so she put it out of her mind, holding her hand in front of her with the palm up.

“Larin,” she called, breathing the name like a whisper.

The wisp came forth, blossoming from the palm of her hand. It floated just above her palm, hanging in the air there, and she felt it waiting, anticipating her orders. She avoided looking at Cathel, instead fixing her eyes on the wisp.

“Find us a safe path.”

There was a pause, and then Larin faded away, folding into itself. It reappeared a few feet away from her, disappearing from sight with a whisper and heading off into the woods. The light faded away, and Rae exhaled, folding her arms and staring off in the direction the wisp had gone.