arbitrate (daynight) (28 page)

“I hope you don’t expect me to drive because there is no way that my stomach will fit behind that wheel. In fact, it will be a miracle if I fit in there at all.”
 

Jax mussed his hair before putting on a helmet and handing me one with a pair of sunglasses. “I am your humble chauffeur, servant, and whatever else you need me to be.”

We spent the day exploring the island. Jax had packed a picnic lunch, which we ate at a small, deserted beach. Dressed in faded jeans, a long-sleeved blue pullover, cowboy boots, and a baseball cap, Jax
almost
passed for being normal. The moment his golden eyes lit up, his dimples appeared, or he opened his mouth and melodic, slightly-accented words rolled off his tongue, he became something a whole lot more extraordinary.
 

I’d been so exhausted the following day that I got a reprieve. Jax brought me an e-reader filled with novels and a fabulous spread of food that I nibbled on all day. I asked Jax if he thought I could get away with calling Ethan—just to hear his voice—but he told me that Ethan’s phones were tapped, and his apartment was bugged.
 

Although I thought of Ethan often and wondered what it would be like once we were reunited as a Cleaved couple, I had long since come to grips with the separation. I felt guilty because I questioned whether what we had was real. I knew so little about him. We had spent almost no time together as a couple. There were days when I couldn’t even picture him. My memory of him was fading. I knew his eyes were sapphire-blue and that his hair was dark, but I couldn’t put it all together. The slope of his nose? His jawline? Exactly how thick his lashes were? When he started his smile, did the left or right corner of his mouth turn up first? When we escaped Military City, I had to leave my tablet with all the pictures of him on it behind because it could be tracked.

Jax looked deep in thought when he said, “I know I’m a poor substitute for my brother, but I hope you’re at least enjoying the break from Thera.”
 

I gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Jax, I couldn’t do any of this without you. You are my rock. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else right now.” I took his hand and put it on my belly, so he could feel the babies moving. The little acrobats always had a show going with body parts pushing outward. “One of these precious little babies is yours, and so, I hate to break it to you, but you are kind of stuck with us.”

“More like you are all stuck with me.”

I gave him a crooked smile. “I could think of worse things…if I try hard enough.”

The next morning I was fully re-energized, and we went island hopping by ferry. We returned to San Juan Island at sunset, and the view was spectacular as we sat on the deck for the entire ride. Jax attended to my sore, swollen feet when we returned.

The rain hit the following day. Jax held an umbrella overhead as I waddled beside him down to the local movie theatre. I was wide-awake for the action flick we watched (perhaps because he kept throwing popcorn at me) but fell asleep on Jax’s shoulder during the romantic comedy.
 

We moved on the next day to Iowa. It wasn’t until we got to the mountains of Utah that I heard the words that I never wanted to hear.

“A guy followed me out of the grocery store, and I had to ditch him. They know we are here.”

Present

Ethan and I arrive
in Los Angeles the night before Election Tuesday. We have adjoining rooms at the hotel where the election party is due to be held. After a late dinner, I take a sleeping pill to force myself to adapt to the time change and sleep a fitful seven hours—thankfully terror free.
 

The next day, he takes me to Rodeo Drive to shop for an appropriate dress for the celebration. I find a pretty navy-blue, red-belted, three-quarter length gown fit for a red, white, and blue ball and try it on. The front has a scoop neck, the back plunges to just above my bra line, and there’s a slit up the side that shows off some leg. It emphasizes my curves, but I’m worried that it might be a little much for a political event.

I decide to test it out on Ethan—who is lounging in a chair just outside the dressing room. His eyes are fixated on his phone, and he’s furiously texting or typing something. I clear my throat to get his attention. “Will this work?”

He stands and tosses his phone onto the chair. Then he walks over, shoves his hands in his pockets, and bites down on his lip. “Spin.”

I pull my hair forward so that he’ll be able to tell me if the back is “too much” and slowly turn.

When I’m back to facing him I say, “Well? What do you think?”

A sly grin appears on his face, slowly spreading from right to left. “That depends…do you plan to wear your hair up or down?” He approaches and traces his finger along my neck. “If your hair is cascading down your back in those beautiful curls of yours, then I say this dress is perfect. However—” He gently pulls my hair up off my back and leans into my ear. His breathing is heavy. “—if you plan to wear your hair up, then I think this dress is a terrible idea. Bad things could happen…will happen.”

“Really? Like what?” I flirt with my words but keep my face pointing forward. He’s so close that if I was to turn at all our lips would meet. And I don’t think I’m ready for that. If anything is going to happen with Ethan, it needs to happen in baby steps.

His mouth moves towards me. I stay frozen as his lips hover over my skin, blowing warm breath along my neck. I shiver. “The same things I wanted to do to you after our Cleaving…that my ridiculous mother interrupted.”

My breathing stops. I close my eyes.
He still wants me
. By the time I open my eyes, he has pulled away and is sitting back on the chair, typing away on his phone again.
Was he just messing with me?
I glare at him and stomp back to the dressing room to change.
 

I buy the dress. But I decide to wear my hair down.

We get to the main ballroom just as Henry’s making his acceptance speech. The networks called the election before the polls even closed on the West coast. If the projections are right, there hasn’t been as wide of an electoral vote victory since Ronald Reagan’s win in 1984. The popular vote currently has a 25.5% margin in favor of Henry.
You fools.
 

Ethan guides me through the crowd with his hand on the small of my back. A very pretty girl with mocha skin, dark eyes, and a stunning red dress smiles when she sees us. Scratch that—when she sees Ethan. She doesn’t even acknowledge my presence as she swiftly walks over, throws her arms around Ethan, and plants a full-on kiss on to him. With tongue.

I’m not sure I have ever felt more awkward in my life. My eyes dart around the room, looking for anyone I might know to go talk to—or a hole I can crawl into.
 

It seems to take quite a while, but Ethan does eventually pull back from the kiss. He’s looking between the girl and me with a bewildered look on his face.
 

“There you are, love. I’m so sorry I’m late,” a voice bellows behind me. I have never been so happy to hear that voice in my life. I whirl around to face Jax and hope he can see the relief in my eyes. His dimples are on full display, and he looks absolutely stunning in a blue suit, white shirt, and red tie. He gives Ethan a disapproving look and then leans forward and
kisses
me.
 

His lips barely brush against mine, but I can feel a strong electrical charge ripple from head to toe. I didn’t think it was even possible to feel so much with so little contact. And then it’s over.
 

He winks at me and grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers together. Ethan has frozen in place, his eyes shooting invisible missiles at Jax. I haven’t seen him so mad…well, since the last time he was mad, which was probably a couple nights ago. Yeah, it hasn’t been that long. “Ethan. Alexa.” Jax’s voice is chilly. “Ethan, you know Kira Donovan. But, Alexa, I’m not sure you’ve met her…or even heard about her. And Kira, this is Alexa Knight.”

I look to see if any sign of recognition flashes across her eyes. But there is none.
None
.
Ethan never told her about me
. She speaks. “Oh hey, it’s nice to meet you, Kira. I didn’t know that Jax was with anyone.” Her tone makes it clear that she thinks it is a crime to be with Jax.
He does like to annoy people.
Alexa holds out her hand to shake mine, and I politely do so.

Jax runs his hand along my hair and then moves my hair forward, exposing my back. He runs his hand along my bare skin. “You should have worn your hair up. This dress is lovely, as are you.”
 

Ethan looks like he’s going to blow a gasket. Ironic, since he was just making out with Alexa in front of me a few short minutes ago. “Jax, why don’t we get a drink and let Ethan and his
date
spend some time together.”
 

“Kira, can I talk to you for a second first?” Ethan asks.

“No. Not now.”
Maybe not ever.
I ignore the furious stares Ethan is likely throwing my way and drag Jax to the very back of the room where it is quieter.

“Thanks for saving me.”

“You are welcome.”

“You kissed me.”

“That was
not
a kiss.”

“How do you figure?”

He backs me against the wall, pushes one of his legs between mine and presses his whole body against me. Every nerve ending is firing and my heart is slamming against the wall of my chest. I can’t speak, and I’m pretty sure Jax is responsible. His eyes are smoldering, and he’s doing nothing to conceal his lust.
 

“Listen carefully, love. I will reiterate. That was
not
a kiss. You see, if I was to kiss the mother of my child…the woman I’ve shared a bed with for the last year…the girl I’ve seen at her very best and very worst…the beautiful young lady that fills my every thought and kindles my every desire…that would be a kiss that would go down in the record books. That kiss would
claim
her. It would be so all consuming, so mind-blowing, and so permanent that she’d be mine, and I’d be hers from that day forward. That kiss would be the first in a long, unbreakable chain of kisses from the beginning until the end of time.”
 

I think I may faint, wither, and die here on the spot if I don’t get that kiss. The thought’s devouring all other more rational thoughts—like that I’d come here with Ethan in an attempt to see if things could work with him. But then again, didn’t I think that was my only option at the time? That Jax didn’t want me?

Jax continues. “Here’s the thing, love. I don’t share. I won’t share. I’m not
capable
of sharing. There will be no
us
until there is no
him.
You need to decide whether he is your past or your future. Because I know a split heart when I see it. I know when I’m only being given a fraction of all that’s available. You can’t hide doubt from me. You can’t hide certainty from me either.”

 
His hand snakes behind my neck. He pulls me closer and his words prickle my ear. “I will know when and if that kiss can be delivered. Have I made myself clear on the matter?”

 
I nod even though my brain’s well behind my body in understanding his message.
Jax likes me in a non-friend way? Then why’d he run off when I had that dream?

He presses even harder into me, his cheek against mine, “Does this feel like friendship to you?”

I gently shake my head. The thoughts I’ve been having lately, and even more so now, are
way
out of friend territory. He whispers, “You have a creative mind, as do I. I’ve been trying so hard to be good and to give you time, but you’re making it more and more difficult. And then tonight—when I saw Ethan with Alexa, and it was obvious he hadn’t told her about you—I could no longer stay silent. I don’t even remotely deserve you, but I can’t resist you either.”

He releases me from his spell. If he didn’t have me trapped against the wall, I’d melt into a puddle. His lips are as close to mine as possible without actually touching. A piece of paper would have trouble fitting through the space. He moves his head that last fraction of an inch, and his lips brush against mine once again, this time trailing up to my ear and down my neck.

“Still not a kiss, love. There are so many ways to
not
give a kiss and still make one’s point. But this is a little too public a place to help you understand that. So let’s go mingle. I’m worried trouble is afoot, so stay close and be alert.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Ethan

Earlier that evening

This day has been
perfect
.
I plan to kiss Kira tonight after the party. I teased her a little bit earlier when she was trying on dresses so that she’d be thinking about it and wondering when and if it would happen.

I knock on the door between our rooms to see if she’s ready to head down to the party. She’s wearing her hair down, as if that’s a real deterrent.

“You look stunning.”

“Thanks. You clean up pretty well yourself.” I had on a classic blue suit with a red, white, and blue tie.

“Well, shall we? I’m sure Henry will be giving his self-congratulatory speech any time now.” I offer her the crook of my arm, and we walk arm in arm to the elevator. My eyes gravitate to her, and she’s sneaking glances at me too. For the first time since we reunited, I think we might actually have a shot of making things work. Kira, Zander, and I could actually be a family.

The ballroom is packed, so I put my hand on the small of Kira’s back and lead her through the crowd. All eyes are on Henry as he triumphantly and, less-than-humbly, accepts the will of the American people. The same will he manipulated at every turn.

Henry’s beaming at the microphone. “I’m honored to lead this great nation during these troubling times.”
Troubling times that Brad Darcton, fellow SCI member, created.

“I will do everything within my power to restore our great nation to the principles and ideals of our founding fathers. We as a nation have strayed, but it is not too late to mend our ways and vanquish our shortcomings.”
Little does the public know that when a Band-Aid is required, Henry will use major surgery. And any “shortcomings” will be handled with blunt-force trauma rather than a gentle guiding hand.