arbitrate (daynight) (3 page)

“Will she live?” Blake asked. When Jax didn’t answer, Blake bowed his head in defeat and tore out the door.

Jax ran to my side. His tears rained down upon me as he kissed my forehead. “I’m so sorry, love. Forgive me for leaving you…for not getting back sooner. I…must…fix this.” He took a moment to run his hand through his hair while he surveyed the damage then closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. “Please…please…I beg of you…” His whispered plea echoed my heart’s desires.
Please…save me…save them.

With fierce determination, Jax took control, attempting to finish the job the man had started, yelling out harsh commands to Bailey.
 

Stabbing, throbbing, stinging.
 

More blood.
 

I had no fight left in me and faded away.

Present

A soothing voice lifts
me from my daymare. “It’s okay, Kira. Stop screaming. I’m here. I’m back. I’m so sorry I didn’t get here sooner.” I breathe the scent of vanilla in deeply, fold in to him, and return to my slumber. This time, dreamless.

I wake, my limbs tangled with his, my hand embedded in his silky hair. I am feeling refreshed. I pry open an eye. He presses his forehead to mine.

“Evening, love. He’s here, and I might say he’s pissed, this looking awfully untoward and all.” I hear shuffling in the doorway. I’m not sure I’m ready for this. It has been a year. A whole freaking year.
 

“He’ll get over it,” I say loudly and unapologetically. “Thanks for your help last morn. Seriously, it was a bad one.” I kiss him on the cheek, untangle myself (which he makes as difficult as possible, infuriating our guest even more), and then stand up. Having slept in a tank and short shorts, I smooth down my top to cover my scar and post-babies tummy bump. And then I summon enough courage to look up. My breath catches as I take in every beautiful inch of him. His gorgeous eyes, glassed over with tears. His scruffy cheeks last shaved, who knows when. And his formfitting, blue top and tan pants do little to hide his stunning physique.
 

I manage to stammer out a greeting to my estranged Cleave. “E…E…Ethan.”

“I. Thought. You. Were. Dead,” Ethan responds, enunciating each word with such venom that he might as well have sliced open old wounds as he said them.

However, that’s all I get as he bustles past me and sneers at a now standing Jax, who is wearing nothing but a pair of gym shorts.
 

“What, no hug?” Jax chuckles. For him, this could be an early birthday present. I swear his golden eyes are sparkling. Mischief.

“You slept with her? With my Cleave?” Ethan spits the words out at Jax.
 

Jax looks at the bed as if to say, well, isn’t that obvious?

“Observant,” Jax replies. “She needed me. I was there for her. It’s all good.”

“There is nothing
good
about this.”

Using a highly mocking tone and giving him a wink, Jax says, “Remember our fights when we were kids? You shouldn’t get so jaxed off before getting the whole story. Besides, I always won then and will now.”

Ethan clenches his fists into balls and looks ready to throw a punch. “Oh, so we’re going to play that game, eh? Fine. You better watch out, or I will make you a Jax-in-a-box—one that gets buried under a lot of dirt. You seem to like to call Kira ‘love.’ Is that what this is? Kira does like to spread the love.” My brain must be playing tricks on me because I thought Ethan used to be kind, sweet, and easygoing. Guess absence does not always make the heart grow fonder. Particularly when one party thinks the other is dead.

Jax smirks and ignores Ethan’s jab. “Who wouldn’t love her?” I roll my eyes. Jax is right. Ethan will never win a war of words with him. If there were an Olympic Gold in banter, Jax would be sporting the medal around his neck.

“You kept her from me. You let me believe she was
dead
. How could you? You are my brother.” Ethan jabs Jax in the chest—a very fine, hairless, golden, chiseled chest. Not that I’ve noticed in my months of wallowing.

“Technically, it’s half-brother. I never told you she was dead, although technically… In any case, I didn’t lie. You assumed based on what Blake told you, and I didn’t contradict. Letting everyone think she was dead kept her alive. And safe. You, half-bro, are watched and tracked every moment of every day. There were and likely still are people trying to kill her. Possibly people who you spend your nights with.”

“I came to claim what is rightfully mine.” Ethan pivots his head towards me.
So now I’m a possession?

Taking a defensive stance with my hands on my hips, I hurl out my words. “Which possession are you referring to? Me? Our baby? Both?”

Jax decides to get the ire focused back his way. “She’s your Cleave on paper. However, you never consummated the Cleave. So, it’s not valid here in Heart or back in Garden City.” Ethan, who may possibly be the least violent person I know, looks like he wants to disembowel Jax.

Ethan snaps. “Jax and Jill go up the hill to fetch a pail of water. You know what they say: ‘Jax fell down and broke his crown.’ They got it wrong.
I’m
going to break your crown if I find out you defiled my Cleave in any way.” Ethan starts circling Jax.
 

A smile never leaves Jax’s face. “Jax be nimble, Jax be quick. Jax will avoid Ethan, who’s being a prick. You accuse me of defiling Kira? Maybe you’ve hit the jaxpot. The two of us are like a couple of jaxrabbits.” Seriously? How many Jax references can these two come up with? Okay, well if I can’t beat them I might as well join them. I step between them but face Ethan.

“Are you both finished with your ridiculous displays of testosterone? I hate to blow your hormone-induced high, Ethan, but you don’t know jax about what’s been going on here. Despite being a mother, I’m still a virgin, so neither of you have much to get all jaxed up about. Any action Jax has seen in the past year would likely be by jaxing…” Jax covers my mouth to cut me off. Too bad. I was on a roll. It’s shockingly easy to jaxspeak.
 

Jax chuckles and whispers in my ear. “As if. I’m too jaxtastic for that.”

“Ugh,” I say. “Where are the Ethan references? You guys are only creative enough to crack Jax jokes?”

“Ethan. Peethan. Queethan. Just doesn’t have the same ring to it. But
Little Ethan Annie
and I have been jaxbatting since we were yea high.” Jax holds his hand about two feet off the ground. Boys. No wonder they’re pros. I hear a whimper from the other room. The babies are awake.

“Ethan. Perhaps you’d like to get over yourself and meet your son. I’ll go get him and leave the two of you to jax each other up or whatever you want to do.”

“Son?” Ethan says. I nod and leave them to pound on their chests, or each other.
 

Some reunion. Whatever.

CHAPTER TWO

Ethan

“I’m never going to forgive you.”
I glare at Jax and cross my arms across my chest. When Blake came to tell me that he’d been wrong—that Kira was actually alive and that he had a good idea of where she and Jax were, I didn’t believe him. I needed to see it for myself. Although I haven’t seen Jax often the last few months, there have been plenty of opportunities for him to tell me the truth himself.

Jax steps forward and pats me on the shoulder. “I did what I had to do and you know it.”

“Sleeping with her is part of your job description?”
 

“You have no idea what it has been like for her…what she has gone through. Before you start judging Kira, maybe you want to take a good hard look at your own actions as of late. It’s not like you were exactly…respectful…in how you reacted to the situation. Don’t take your guilt out on her or me.”

I start pacing back and forth. How much does Kira know? Has he told her? “Whatever I have done is on
you.
You told me Kira was dead.”
 

“Did I? Think it through, Ethan. Blake thought she hadn’t survived the births, and I just didn’t deny it. You didn’t even give me a chance. If I recall, you yelled at me, slugged me, and then stormed off. Truth is, she did die…her heart stopped…but the doctors were able to bring her back.”

I’m the lawyer. He has no right to try to get off on a technicality. “I’ve seen you since then, Jax. You could have told me.
Should have
told me that she was alive.”

“She didn’t want you to know.” He shrugs.

I raise my voice. “What do you mean? You are telling me that
she
cheated me out of three months with my son?”
 

Jax shoots me a sympathetic look. “Kira needed time to heal—physically and mentally—before you showed up and dragged her back to the people who want her dead.”

Excuses, excuses. That’s all he is good for. I shove my hands in my pockets and start rocking back and forth. “Tell me what happened. Blake only shared the basics.”

Jax throws his hands up in the air and starts pacing. “I wasn’t there. I should have been there. But
you…
you insisted that
I
be the one to come train you at the Cross during your school break. Remember that? So I left her with Blake. I had a bad feeling, so I went back early.”

I nod. Yeah, I remember. I faked a fight with our father…told him that if he wanted me to be trained, he better send Jax. The real reason I’d called for Jax was to get an update on Kira. My mother had told me they had disappeared from Military City after a Militant Exiler went after Kira. I needed to know she was okay and get her back under the Ten’s protection. Jax refused to tell me where he had her stashed and was furious I’d wasted his time. Then he took off without any explanation.

Jax runs his hand through his hair and then wipes the sweat from his brow. “I came back to a horror scene. She’d been sliced open by a skilled surgeon. Blake and Bailey walked in on it. The intruder got away with one of the babies. Blake went after him, and I had to stay to finish the delivery.”

“Bailey told Blake that it was bad—that there was no way she’d make it. That she wasn’t conscious when you took her away. That she’d lost too much blood.”

I’ve never once seen Jax get emotional, but tears are streaming down his face as he stares off at a blank wall. “I took her to the Cross. I gave her my blood. I’m a ‘universal’ donor, and the need was urgent. It was touch and go for nights even with the doctors working around the clock—for both her and…” He cuts himself off and shakes his head. Given that he won’t look at me, I know he’s keeping something from me.

“What aren’t you telling me, Jax?”

“Go meet your son, Ethan.” He gestures to the doorway where Kira is rocking a dark-haired baby.
 

I walk over and look down at my son for the first time. He’s so much bigger than the newborns I’ve seen. Tears well up in my eyes. Of joy—and anger. I’ve missed so much. I never got to see his heartbeat on an ultrasound screen. Feel him kick. Watch him be born. See his first smile and laugh. Instead, I mourned Kira’s death and tried to move on. I cringe at my predicament but realize I’ll have to deal with the consequences of my actions later.

Kira holds the baby out to me, and I take him into my arms. “Zander, this is your daddy.”

Zander. Yet another thing I missed out on—naming him. Kira openly cries at the sight of us together. She deserves to be upset. I lock my eyes on to my son’s and refuse to look at her. My baby looks like me. He has my eyes, my hair. Her lips though. I glance over at Kira to confirm but see that Jax is offering her the comfort I didn’t. They are furiously whispering into each other’s ears.

I realize something. I’ve hated myself these last few months. Blaming myself. Punishing myself for every action I took after Blake told me she died.

Kira meant everything to me. I built my whole world around her. I would have died for her.
 

But she betrayed me.
They
betrayed me.

I’d never have done what I did if they’d been honest with me.

I loved Kira.

Now I think I hate her. I hate them both.

They deserve to suffer like I did. By bringing Kira back as my Cleave—Cleaved to one of the Ten—that will make her suffer. And Jax…Jax defied the Ten. He got Arbiter support to do it. He’s going to pay for running and for hiding her. I know that I’m supposed to be on the side of the Arbiters—their mole in the Ten. But what Jax did has me questioning where my loyalties should lie.

It’s time to separate my Cleave from my brother. They’ve been playing house with my son long enough.

I turn to Kira, who is standing alone, and instruct, “Pack your things. We’re leaving in fifteen minutes.”

“Military City? Seriously?”
Kira sneers. “I left with you willingly. I don’t think I need hundreds of thousands of guards.” She’s unpacking her few belongings into one of the lavish apartments provided for members of the Ten who visit. Unlike Garden City where there are only two kinds of homes for everyone—one and two bedroom—for the elite, Military City has everything from the “Presidential” to “junior” suites. As a member of the Ten, I rank “Presidential,” so we have over 10,000 feet of space including a full staff to serve us. The various levels of commanders get assigned “accommodations to fit their status.” The troops get military bunkers.
 

Is she really complaining about leaving the tiny apartment Jax had her holed up in? I’ve brought her to a pristine palace. She should be grateful. “From what I understand, you and Jax managed to escape here before. We’re not here because of
you
but because I’m on assignment.”

She softens her look, and it takes some effort to remind myself that I can’t trust her. She’s in bed—quite literally—with the Arbiters. “For how long? What kind of assignment?”

“I don’t know and none of your business.”

Her eyes get a little glassy, and I watch as a tear escapes and streams down her face. Given that she cried nonstop the whole way here, I didn’t think she’d have any tears left. Kira shakes her head. “Wow. You’ve really changed. Or maybe you were always this way, and I never spent enough time to get to know the
real
you. I’ll just go and check on Zander.” She turns to leave, but I grab her arm.