ARC: Assassin Queen (12 page)

Damn it, how do I keep falling for the same trap over and over?

She dropped her swords.

“I
’
m not going to fight you, Aghat Lance,
”
she said.
“I
can’t
fight you without opening up my skill to the enemy. Please, just let me go.
”

He briefly shook his head.
“
You know I can
’
t.”

She stepped closer and paused as he raised his sword. His warded look hit her like a lash.
He doesn’t know if he can trust me. Hell, I don’t know if I can trust myself, can I?

“
You know things can
’
t possibly end well, as long as I
’
m around,
”
she said.
“
The Kaddim are doing everything possible to use me to win this war. My mere presence on our force puts everyone in danger, starting with Mai. I
’
m not asking you to do anything at all, just look the other way for a second so that I can leave quietly.
”

His gaze wavered.
“I
’
m sorry, Aghat. We both know this isn
’
t my decision to make. My ranking at the Guild wouldn
’
t mean much if I tried to take the matters into my own hands.
”

Kara
’
s eyes narrowed. This was exactly what got her into trouble with the Guild before. Taking the matters into her own hands. She didn
’
t wish this on Lance. If he helped her escape just now, Mai
’
s wrath would know no bounds. And yet, they both knew that Mai
’
s opinion in this matter couldn
’
t be fully trusted. However good a commander Mai was, he was blindsighted where Kara was concerned. If the events were allowed to run their course, his feelings toward her were going to bring about the Guild
’
s end. Yet, she knew she couldn
’
t possibly force Lance to shoulder all this responsibility.

Rustling and cracking at the edge of the glade announced the arrival of a new pair of riders. Entranced, Kara watched Mai dismount, a Jade at his back releasing a sound arrow with a different pitch into the sky.
Calling off the search,
Kara guessed. She locked gazes with Mai as he stepped up in front of her.

They stood for a long moment looking at each other. Kara
’
s heart raced as she read Mai
’
s emotions, visible only to her in his outwardly impassive face. Relief, at finding her unharmed. Disbelief, at the knowledge of what she had done. But the one that stung the most was the distrust, similar to the one she saw in Lance
’
s eyes just a short time ago.
He isn’t sure he can believe me anymore. He doesn’t even know if I am acting of my own free will.

Am I?

She swallowed a lump rising in her throat. Up until now her way of dealing with emotional challenges had been to close up and detach herself from the situation. This didn
’
t work at all between her and Mai. The Majat assassins were not supposed to love, if only because of this vulnerability.

The recent events raised too many questions in her mind. Was it her own idea to abandon her party and seek solitude, or did the Kaddim instill this thinking? Was this another ploy to make sure she was forced to use her skill and they could tap into it? She saw no possibility of her plan to kill herself benefiting the Kaddim, but the way it compelled her to hide in the woods rather than just finish the job on the spot did not really stand up to scrutiny. Even less so did her sudden fear that the Keepers
’
cures could bring her back from the dead.
The Kaddim are able to resurrect. Have I become afraid of someone resurrecting me?

Dear Shal Addim.

She lifted her chin.

“
I apologize for causing all this trouble, Aghat Mai,
”
she said formally.
“
I thought I was helping. I now see that I was wrong.
”

A tug at her mind felt like a stab of a sharp blade. Her vision blurred and she sank to the ground.

12

Return

Voices around Kara kept getting louder, making it impossible to concentrate. They seemed to be coming from all sides, some clear, as if the speakers were nearby, others indistinct and hollow, as if echoing through deep stone hallways. She could not make out the words.

She felt as if falling, searching and not finding any solid support. The air around her became damp and chilly, then dry and dusty as she emerged into a chamber. In its vast semidarkness, she could see two men spread in a lover-like embrace on top of an elevated stone platform that emanated a strange form of power, comforting and frightening at the same time. Sickening details came into view as her vision cleared, the man below a rotting corpse, the one above him sinking his hands into the dissolving flesh. Then she saw the corpse move, eyes inside the disintegrating sockets rolling wildly, his body thrashing in agony under the other man
’s touch.
Pain. So much pain.
Her ears opened to hear the howling of the wind outside, and piercing screams that shook her to the core.

Come… to me… Kara…

Kara!

Sharp pain pierced her head like a needle and she cried out, trying to shield her face. Strong hands pried her arms away. She fought back with all her might, until she was pinned down and immobile. Strangely, as she struggled uselessly against the iron-hard hold, the pain in her head slowly receded, the reality around her surfacing with additional senses
–
a touch of cool wind on her cheek, grass stems biting into her neck. She smelled earth and ivy, leather and sweat, and horses some distance away. Then, a sharp medicinal scent hit her nostrils, snapping her back to alertness.

She opened her eyes, taking in the scene. Mai was straddling her chest in a nasty leg block, his knees pinning down her outstretched arms, his weight balancing over her fluidly to prevent any attempts to escape. Lance was crouching beside him with a small dark flask in hand.
Milk of thorn.
Her eyes teared up from the memory of the sharp scent, normally used to repel insects but very effective as a smelling salt.
Damn it, what is going on?

She unclenched her hands, relaxing back into the grass to show her surrender. The two Diamonds exchanged quick glances, as if deciding if she was worth their trust. Then Mai released his block and rolled off, the absence of his weight making her feel light, as if flying. She flexed her muscles, wondering at the soreness she felt. How long did the fight last?

Lance rose from his crouch and stepped away, corking his flask and shoving it into a pouch at his belt. Mai sat on his heels next to her, watching. She saw his muscles flex as he peered into her face, as if bracing for another attack.

“
What did I do?
”
she asked.

Mai frowned.
“
You were clawing at your head. When I tried to stop you, you
…”
He paused, a shadow running over his face.

“
I… what?
”

“
You lashed out,
”
Lance said.
“
You also spoke in a strange language. We weren
’
t sure you were yourself.
”

Clearly not.
She glanced at the bruises darkening on Mai
’
s skin, at the long rip in Lance
’
s grass-stained shirt. It was hard to imagine how she could have caused all this ruckus. Diamonds were more or less equal in strength and skill, and when it came to wrestling on the ground she had a disadvantage by being smaller and lighter than either of them.
Did the two of them have trouble holding me down?
She suppressed a shiver, taking exaggerated care to pull herself upright and remove grass stems and dirt from her own clothes.

“
Do you remember what happened?
” Mai asked.

She rubbed her wrists, tingling as if they had been devoid of circulation for quite some time.
“
Not the fight. The last thing I remember is this feeling
…
as if someone was stabbing my head. I also heard voices. And I saw
…”
She glanced around. Definitely no stone hallways here, not even a rock sticking out of the wavering grass.

“
Saw what?
”

“I…
I think it might have been a chamber inside the Kaddim fortress. I saw a man, dying.
”
She tried to stifle the memory. The dissolving flesh, rotting while the man was still alive. She had seen it once before. There was no mistaking it, the agony of a man bitten by the spiders.
The Kaddim brother, bitten during our recent battle?
Not possible.
Yet, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn
’
t come up with any other explanation.

Mai peered into her face.
“
Are you all right?
”

“Fine.”
She flexed her muscles, massaging the life back into her sore arms. Mai
’
s block had been vicious, his knees pressing only inches away from the spots that would have dislocated her shoulders. Clearly she had left him no choice but to subdue her with maximum force.

“Sorry,”
he said.
“
I was trying to avoid knocking you out.
”

“
I understand.
”
With her strength and combat skill, she could do serious damage thrashing in a semi-conscious state with no awareness of her surroundings. It was fortunate that Mai and Lance happened to be nearby. Or was it deliberate, another Kaddim ploy to trick her into using her skill? She felt nauseated at the thought.

“
Do you have any idea what happened?
” Mai asked.

“No.”
She looked up at him, her heart quivering at the mix of concern and unease in his eyes. He still didn
’
t trust her. She wasn
’
t sure she could live with that.
“
You shouldn
’
t have come after me. You should
’
ve let me go.
”

“
Go and do what, exactly?
”

Her lips trembled.
“
My mere existence is putting everyone in danger. None of us knows for sure what happens every time the Kaddim tap into my skill. For all we know, their warriors can already fight like Gems. Hell, they will all fight like Diamonds if I stay alive long enough.
”

“
Alive
?
”

“Yes.”

“
Is this why you ran away?
”

She averted her gaze, unable to face his expression. He looked at her in hurt disbelief, as if she had just attempted to stab him.

“
Think of it, Mai,
”
she said.
“You
’
re fighting a war. If you lose, our Guild will cease to exist. Kingdoms will fall. Everyone will perish. Don
’
t you think it
’
s unreasonable to weigh it all against one person
’
s life?
”

Mai
’
s eyes narrowed.
“
You are forgetting one important thing. This way of thinking, your belief that you pose this kind of danger, might be the Kaddim
’
s trick too. If Magister Egey Bashi is right about your death benefiting them…
”

“
Do you really mean it
?”

Mai
’
s nostrils flared. “
Did you forget what I told you before, how your death could potentially play right into their hands by releasing your skill to them? Of course we don
’
t know for sure yet, but last time I checked Magister Egey Bashi was still under this impression.
”

“
How come he never said anything to me?
”

“
Because I asked him not to. I know his tendency to chew things over and over again. The last thing I wanted was to subject you to these conversations. I thought me talking to you would be enough. Wasn
’
t it?
”

She sighed.
“
I thought you were just trying to make me feel better after what I heard at the King
’
s council.
”

“
Would I ever do this to you? Do I actually look this bloody stupid?
”

“No. But–”

“
Just think about what you just said,
”
Mai insisted.
“
Does it make any sense?
”

“Yes.”

“
Well, then maybe I
’
m not the one being bloody stupid right now.
”

She stared at him wide-eyed, realizing with chilling intensity that he was absolutely correct. He would never have lied to her just to make her feel better. Not about something as important as this. Only in a very altered state of mind could she have allowed herself to entertain this idea. Worse, she could see now that the entire plan she had concocted had so many logical flaws that even without this additional knowledge it didn
’
t really stand up to scrutiny. It couldn
’
t possibly have come entirely from her own head.

“Mai,”
she said.
“
You know as well as I do that this can
’t continue. You can’
t keep protecting me at all costs. I
’
ve become your handicap. With everything you
’
re facing, you simply can
’
t afford it.
”

His lips twitched.
“I
’
ll worry about that, thank you very much.
”

“
Think about it,
”
she insisted.
“
In the very least, you should sedate me, like the Magister suggested. If nothing else, it should prevent these kinds of outbursts.
”

“
Can you try to control them?
”

“I…
I don’
t know.
”
She looked away briefly.
“
Hell, half the time I
’
m not even sure my thoughts are all coming from my own head. Just now, I spoke a strange bloody language. I
attacked
you, for Shal Addim
’
s sake. What would have happened if you and Lance weren
’
t right here to subdue me?
”

His eyes stirred with a gentleness that made her shiver.
“
I guess from now on I
’
ll just have to make sure I am always next to you.
”

“
What if I hurt you next time?
”

“
Not likely.
”

She heaved a deep breath. This seemed like no solution at all. With time, he was bound to realize it too. But it was also clear they wouldn
’
t be able to decide anything now, with everyone watching. She would have to talk to him again in private to convince him. Maybe when they returned to their party Egey Bashi could help her case? He was seemingly the only one whose decisions were not dominated so heavily by emotions and feelings.

She glanced at the Majat standing around them, so still that they appeared inanimate. Her eyes briefly met Lance
’
s, but she saw no support there.
He’s loyal to Mai. They all are, no matter what.
This was definitely a good thing, from the Guild
’
s standpoint. Yet, how could she possibly stay around, knowing that her mere existence was jeopardizing Mai
’
s command and was likely going to bring about their defeat?

She looked further to the group of men in Bengaw livery who had originally apprehended her. They looked frightened. Yet, they stood their ground, apparently resolved to carry out their orders to the last.

“
Who are they?
”
she asked.

“
Their lord is an old acquaintance,
” Mai said.

She raised her eyebrows, too many questions rising in her head. One day, she hoped to learn how Mai, whose life had been spent entirely in the open, could possibly have acquired an old acquaintance on this side of the Lakes
–
let alone one who was apparently willing to risk lives to help Mai
’
s cause.

“
How did they find me so quickly?
”
she asked.

“
They patrol the lake every day. I calculated your possible routes and the distance you could have traveled on foot, and relayed the information by hawks. Several patrols were involved, but these men found you first.
”