ARC: Assassin Queen (22 page)

Her body told him so much more about her than words possibly could, her trust as she opened up to him so overwhelming that he felt his head spin. The way she melted into his embrace made him feel as if she always belonged there, urging him to do anything he will, uncertain yet so responsive to his hands.

He gave her all the time she needed, holding back at each step until he felt she was ready for more, finding the places that made her shiver, the ones that made her moan and turn deeper into his kiss. He never thought of himself as a skilled lover, but with her, he felt like one. Perhaps it was because his experience at lovemaking was far more extensive than her non-existent one. Or maybe there was just such a thing as being compatible, fitting together so naturally that everything came easily, without any effort at all.

He knew that in this public setting, with the way he was giving her no promises to hold him to, he couldn
’
t possibly take this very far. But the way she yielded to his hands told him what they could do if they ever took their relationship to that level. This promise made his head spin as he finally eased away from her, afraid to let this last any longer for fear of losing control. He knew he had no right to her. Not this way. Not just yet.

She was gasping as she drew away, the daze in her eyes telling him so much more than words. He slowly returned to his senses, realizing that the sky now looked much darker than it did when she first approached his campfire. He knew someone could have seen them, and probably had, by the way their side of the camp suddenly seemed emptier than before. He took a breath of air, feeling lightheaded as he met her smile.

“
Please forgive me,
”
he said.
“
I didn
’
t mean to
…”

Her look stopped him.

“
I liked it,
”
she said.
“
Very much. And if I may guess what you were going to say, you were probably planning to tell me that despite what happened, you cannot promise me anything and wouldn
’
t want to give me false hope.
”

“I…”
He took a breath. He
did
want to say just that, but as he looked into her eyes, he suddenly realized that the hope she talked about was not an impossibility at all. She was so different from Kara, in every imaginable way. And now, more than ever before, it seemed like a good thing.

She shook her head.
“You don
’
t have to say anything, Kyth. I understand. As I said, I am willing to wait, and I will not push you in any way. But
…” She hesitated.

“
But what?
”

Her eyelids fluttered. “
You still did not tell me if you will let me stay with you at Lady Ayalla
’
s.”

He smiled, feeling ashamed.
“
Yes, of course I will
–
if this is truly what you want.
”

“
It is.
”
She raised her eyes to him.
“Thank you. And…”
Her voice dropped to a near-whisper.
“
If you ever want to take advantage of me again, you have my permission to do it any time.
”

22

A Pile of Rocks

Kyth stood next to Garnald, Alder, and Celana, waiting his turn to say goodbye to the departing group. He gave a brief hug to Kara, marveling at the way she seemed so radiant and carefree, now that her curse had been temporarily lifted. Mai stepped up to Kyth in her wake, and the Prince
’
s heart quivered at the happiness he saw in the Diamond
’
s eyes. No matter what else, Mai did love Kara deeply, and this knowledge, now that it had fully sunk in, made it so much easier to let go.

The two young men exchanged a long handshake.

“
Sorry for everything I
’
ve put you through lately,
”
Mai said once Kara was out of earshot.

Kyth raised his eyebrows.
“
You are
apologizing
to me?
”

“
Did it sound like a bloody insult?
”

Kyth stared at him for a moment, then relaxed his shoulders, flexing his hand in Mai
’
s iron-hard grasp.

“
It didn
’
t,”
he said.
“
And you don
’
t have to apologize. Not for anything that happened lately, anyway. I understand. For whatever it
’
s worth, I am glad that you and Kara are happy together.
”

Mai
’
s eyes briefly drifted away and Kyth shivered at the glimpse of uncertainty and pain he saw in the Majat
’
s face. He also saw the knotted jaw, signaling that this was not the topic they were ever going to discuss in any detail. He could relate to both feelings very well. The war was only beginning, and Kara
’
s well-being depended on whether they would be able to achieve victory
–
a burden that lay directly on Mai
’
s shoulders, in addition to everything else. Besides, Kyth
’
s recent relationship with Kara made him probably the last man in the world Mai would ever want to confide these feelings to.

“
Just remember,
” Mai said. “
Your ability, the things that Ayalla said you can do, are the key to our victory. My men and I are tools, no more. It
’
s all about you, Kyth. Make it count.
”

He turned and walked away before giving Kyth a chance to respond, leaving the Prince gaping. Did Mai just say he was considering Kyth to be the main person in this campaign? Did he characterize himself, and all the Majat under his command, as
tools
, with no more than a secondary role?

Did he really mean it all?

For the first time since Kyth knew Mai, he found himself worrying. Was Mai having self-doubts? Or, did he truly think this way all along? He
’
d probably never know for certain. For the moment it didn
’
t seem to matter, anyway. Mai was right. Kyth
’
s ability to learn from Ayalla did hold a key part in their plans. He needed to do his best if he hoped for their venture to succeed.

He came back to his senses as he realized that Ellah was standing in front of him, her surprised expression suggesting that she had probably been there for quite some time, without any reaction on his part. She frowned, turning to glance at Mai
’
s retreating back.

“
What
’
s the matter, Kyth?
”
she asked.
“
Did Mai say something nasty to you again?
”

Kyth slowly let out a breath.
“
Not exactly.
”

She stepped closer, drawing him into a brief embrace.
“Don
’
t pay attention to what he says. He
’
s a good man. He just doesn
’
t know how to handle you, that
’
s all. But he
’
ll get over it, I
’m sure.
”

Kyth nodded. Ellah was right, of course. Jealousy was a poor accompaniment to any relationship, especially given their history. Spending some time apart would do them all good, Kyth knew, even though he couldn
’
t help feeling sorry for seeing Kara go. He turned to Celana, trying to draw strength from her presence, from her resolve to stay by his side. At least someone here cared. He found himself surprisingly comforted by the thought.

His thoughts wandered back to Mai
’
s words just now. The more he thought about them the more he realized the kind of responsibility that lay on his shoulders. Was he ever going to be able to live up to it and do his part as well as everyone needed him to?

“
Are you going to be all right?
”
he asked.

Ellah nodded.
“
Mai needs me. Just like in Tallan Dar, at the Olivian court, everyone
’
s always lying as a matter of daily life. It
’
s part of politics as I came to understand it. And, it
’
s critical to know when it happens if we ever want to succeed.
”

Kyth felt unsettled about letting Ellah go. He, Alder, and Ellah grew up together and hadn
’
t separated for long in many years. She and Alder used to be sweethearts, until Ayalla came along. And now, the way Ellah looked at Mai when she thought no one was watching, made him feel concerned. Yet, he also knew she was perfectly capable, even though he was used to thinking of her as a little sister in need of his protection. Besides, Magister Egey Bashi was going with her too, and Kyth trusted the Keeper probably more than anyone else he knew.

“
Take care of yourself,
”
he said, squeezing her in a long embrace.

“You don
’
t need to worry about me, Kyth. Just relax and enjoy this opportunity as much as you can.
”
Ellah’
s eyes briefly lingered on Celana, leaving Kyth wondering which opportunity she meant. He almost decided to ask the question when Egey Bashi stepped up to them.

“It
’
s time.
”
The Keeper turned to Kyth and briefly patted him on the shoulder.
“
Good luck.
”

“
Thanks, Magister.
”
I’ll need every bit of it.
“
You too.
”

The Keeper smiled as he departed, with Ellah in his wake.

Kyth was still feeling surreal as he watched the Majat party mount their horses and melt away into the thick forest growth. Then he turned and followed Garnald through another forest path, with Celana and Alder by his side.

Behind him, the Kingsguard of his suite were settling into the remainder of their old camp, determined to stay in wait until Kyth was ready to leave and they could accompany him. Their captain had made a request to keep some men at Kyth
’
s side, but Ayalla would not let them into her realm. For the next couple of weeks Kyth, Alder, and Celana were going to be entirely on their own.

Garnald led them into a small glade, next to a narrow brook that widened downstream behind the bushes to provide a perfect secluded place for a bath. Four small tents were set around a stone-paved pit, ideally suited for a campfire. It looked perfect, as if someone had taken time to create a special piece of landscape that could fit all of the traveler
’
s needs. Very likely this was indeed the case, Kyth reflected. Ayalla could command landscapes to change around here. Creating a perfect glade and a brook seemed easy, compared to some other things he had seen.
Am I going to be able to do such things too when I complete my training with her?
He dismissed the thought, too wild and far-fetched to dwell on.

Garnald led the way into the center of the camp and threw down his pack near one of the tents.

“
Take your pick,
”
he said.
“
They
’
re all identical, as far as I know.
”

Kyth and Alder turned to Celana, who smiled and pointed to one of the tents closest to the brook and the bushes on the far end.
“I
’
ll use this one, if you don
’
t mind.”

They brought forward her packs to set them by the tent
’
s door.

They were still busy settling in when a rustle at the side of the glade announced Ayalla
’
s arrival. Her eyes lingered on Alder, then drifted thoughtfully over the rest of the group, before fixing on Kyth.

“Come,”
she said.
“It
’
s time to begin your training.
”

Kyth didn
’
t expect it to start so soon, but he supposed there was no reason to waste time. They had so little of it. He tried to stifle his worries as he followed Ayalla down a narrow side path that stayed open all the way through
–
perhaps to prepare for the fact that they were going to travel it every day?

The path led into another opening, one of the many around here which, he believed, popped up and disappeared almost instantly at Ayalla
’
s command. This one, like many others, had a brook running through and a large pile of rocks rising in its center. Ayalla gestured toward it and walked on to stop by its side.

“Now,”
she said.
“
Show me what you
’
ve learned so far.
”

“I…”
Kyth paused. Inadvertently, his conversation with Egey Bashi back on the barge came up in his mind. His training so far had been all about weapons. But now, standing opposite to Ayalla who resented everything weapon-like, it seemed like a bad idea to even bring this up.

“Go on,”
she said.
“
You must
’
ve learned
something
, if they all place such heavy hopes on you.
”

“I
’
m afraid my training up to now has been all wrong,
”
Kyth said.
“
At least from your perspective, if I understand it correctly.
”

“
What makes you say that?
”

“I
’
ve been trained by the Majat, mostly. I know how you feel about them.
”

She raised her eyebrows.
“
The Majat? I didn
’
t know they were the experts in elemental magic.
”

Kyth sighed.
“
They
’
re not. It
’
s just that, through a combination of circumstances, I came to think of my power as a weapon. It
’
s what they are best at, as you well know. They
’
ve been training me to focus, so that I can wield it correctly.
”

He looked at her, expecting resentment and mockery, but she merely nodded.
“It
’
s one way to look at it, yes. There
’
s truth in the fact that your power has a lot to do with focus, something the Majat know so well. Why don
’
t you show me what they taught you?
”

He drew his sword, searching for the powers around him that he could use. There wasn
’
t much to work with in this secluded forest glade, but the light breeze descending from the tree crowns, mixing with the twirl of the water in the brook, seemed sufficient at least to sharpen his movements as he circled around the glade. In the absence of a real opponent, he focused on an imaginary one, like he often did when practicing alone, thrusting and parrying with the dexterity he was never capable of if he wasn
’
t using his magic.

Ayalla made no move to interrupt or comment, only watched him with a thoughtful expression. After a while, he stopped on his own and lowered his sword, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

“
Not as bad as I thought,
”
she said.
“
Your natural talent is impressive. But you can never expand yourself fully this way. Surely you feel this, don
’
t you?
”

“
Yes, I do.
”
Kyth was surprised to realize that he meant it. Using his power felt good, yet he could indeed sense his limits with it. Now, under Ayalla
’
s watchful gaze, he realized that these limits did not necessarily mean he had reached the limits of his ability. He could do more, he was certain of it. Except that he didn
’
t know at all how to go about it.

“
Let me show you,
” Ayalla said. “
Come here.
”

She picked up a small rock from the pile in the center of the glade and held it in her outstretched hand.

“
This rock,
”
she said,
“
is made up of the element earth. The element
’
s power holds it together, makes it strong. Without it, the rock would turn into dust.
”
She frowned as she looked into her palm.

A brief sensation of pressure pounced onto Kyth
’
s ears. The rock shifted in Ayalla
’
s hand, hazy as if its boundaries suddenly became blurry, less defined. A brief sigh-like sound echoed in the air, faint like an exhaled breath.

Kyth wasn
’
t quite sure what happened next. The rock just
…
disappeared, as if it was never there. A pile of fine dust settled into Ayalla
’
s palm in its place.

Ayalla smiled at his awed expression.
“
This is but a simple example. I extended my power to the bonds that held this rock in place. And then, I dissolved them all at once. You can do the same. Try.
”
She picked up another small rock and handed it to Kyth.

Try.
Kyth swallowed as he took the rock and placed it onto his palm. It looked so solid and hard. Its rough edges grazed his skin and he clenched it briefly, trying to feel it out.
Elemental earth, holding it together. Can I ever see it this way?

“You
’
re looking at the surface,
” Ayalla said. “
Try to look inside it instead.
”

“
Inside
it?
”
Kyth stared. Some rocks were opaque, or nearly transparent, making it easy to see at least some way inside. This rock was nothing like that, all solid and gray, impenetrable to the eye.

“
Close your eyes,
” Ayalla said.

Kyth did.

“
Imagine you are still looking at the rock.
”

This was easy, after how hard Kyth had been staring at it just now. He could probably recreate every bump, every rough edge in his mind
’
s eye.

“
Good. Now, try to see what
’
s under its surface.
”

Kyth tried. It seemed easier without actually looking at the rock to imagine it losing substance to appear semi-transparent. He took it further, gradually stripping away all the grayness until the rock in his imagination looked clear, like an exquisite crystal. It helped to feel its reassuring roughness in his hand, to flesh out all the crests and edges that prickled his skin as he traced his fingers over them, imagining them at the same time.

“
Do you see the power holding it together?
”

The shine.
With surprise, Kyth realized that the crystal he imagined in his mind was not only transparent, but glowing, as if bathed in sunlight. He wasn
’
t sure where this glow was coming from.

“It
’
s glowing,
”
he said.

“
Yes. That
’
s one way to look at it. Do you see the bonds between the elements of the rock?
”

The bonds.
He kept his eyes closed as he peered, imagining tiny threads that extended like a meshwork through the substance of the stone.
“I…
I think so, yes.
”

“
Try to imagine these bonds are made of air, not stone,
” Ayalla said. “
Let them blow away.
”

Air, not stone.
Suddenly it all made sense. The glow, the tiny threads, they
had
to be there for the stone to remain in its form. And at the same time, they didn
’
t have to be there at all. The threads could shift out of the stone easily, blend with the air instead of the earth. And once shifted, Kyth could make them all blow away, couldn
’
t he?

He tried to recall the sigh-like sound he heard when Ayalla dissipated her rock a short while ago.
Poof.
Was
this
how it went
…?

“
Open your eyes,
”
Ayalla commanded.

Kyth obeyed. His eyes widened as he stared at a small pile of dust in his hand.

“I…
Did I do that?
”
he asked weakly.

She smiled.
“
Yes, you did.
”

“
But how?
”

“
You tell me. What did you do?
”

Kyth stared at the dust in his hand again. No matter how hard he looked, it still didn
’
t make any sense at all.

“
I imagined the rock being transparent,
”
he said.
“
And then, I started seeing a glow holding it together. Like sunlight, made of tiny threads. When you mentioned I should let it become part of the air and blow away
…
it just did.
”

She nodded.
“
You created an image in your mind that helped you to wield your power. Just like you did before, when you imagined a sword. Your image is different this time, but the purpose is the same.
”

“
Is this how it works, then?
”
Kyth asked.
“
Thinking of my power as a glow of tiny threads?
”

“No.”

“No?”
He felt lost again. He just thought he was getting a grasp of it.

Ayalla smiled.
“
Images are what help you cope with your abilities. Many magic users do that, or so I heard. What you need to understand now is that these are only images, not the real thing. You can use these images to help yourself, but you should not let them obscure the truth.
”

“I…
I don’
t think I understand.
”

She shook her head.
“
You will. But for now, I
’
ll leave you to practice. See this pile of rocks?
”

“Yes.”

“
By the end of today, you must turn them all into dust. Use any images you want to do it.
”

Kyth looked at the pile, rising about waist-high from the thick grass.
Dear Shal Addim, there must be hundreds of rocks here
. “
Each
rock?”

Ayalla shrugged.
“
Once you get good at it, you can do several at a time. In fact, you have it within you to dissipate the entire pile on the spot.
”

Kyth swallowed. He knew he had to master his magic, one way or the other. He supposed sitting here staring at the rocks until he turned blue in the face could be one way to do it.

“
Why is this important?
”
he asked.
“
Blowing up rocks?
”

“
Apart from teaching you to control your power, you mean?
”

Kyth hesitated. It
was
important to learn to control his power, and he was grateful for a different image to work with, compared to his usual sword, but everything he had been doing up to now under the Majat
’
s tutelage
–
focusing the powers of the elements to aid in swordplay, to defend his allies against the Kaddim
–
seemed useful, at least. But blowing up rocks?