I had to give him credit, he didn’t move, but I did note – with satisfaction, I might add – that his stare became much more direct, and his hand, which had been resting casually on the armrest, started to slowly grip the fabric as a warm pink hue began to flood his ears.
“
Or,
” I continued, starting to feel a bit warm myself, “
if you’d rather, I could kiss my way down your neck until–
”
“Not fair,”
came the floating words again, though this time he didn’t bother with the pretext of writing it out one letter at a time.
“
Oh, don’t worry,
” I told him, unable to hide my grin at his ears which had gone full-on red, “
I’d play fair… you’d get to kiss me too.
”
He took a deeper than average breath, squirming a bit in his seat.
“Becca?”
Damn it! “Yes?” I said, looking up at Jocelyn who was clearly expecting an answer to a question I’d not heard.
“I said I am trying to arrange our meeting with Brassal and Alva for before the gala tomorrow night. I know they would like to meet you, and it’s best to get it out of the way if we can.”
“Oh, yeah,” I nodded, hoping he was just assuming that I’d been daydreaming – which, had Alex not been in the room, would likely have been the case – and smiled. “Sure, no problem. Will you ask about Ciaran then?” I asked quickly, both curious and hoping to play off my distraction.
“Nice save,”
the floating letters said. Even in their hovering silence I could tell they were sarcastic.
With everyone else looking at Jocelyn as he retook his seat, I glanced over at Alex and quickly poked my tongue out at him. He smiled and turned the
“Nice save”
still hanging in front of me into a heart before letting it waft away like a puff of smoke.
“Maybe,” Jocelyn finally said. “We will have to see how the day plays out. It is a delicate matter, so if there are others around, I may wait for a better time.”
“Aye,” Mr Anderson said. “Can’t imagine they will be thrilled that we plan to accuse one of their own of being a traitor. Could tarnish their reputation, you know,” he added with a scoff.
“What do you plan to tell them?” Mr Reid asked.
“Only that I wish to speak with Ciaran and ask them to set up a meeting.”
“Why do you need to ask permission?” I asked.
“I’m not asking permission, but I do want to keep them apprised of the meeting. Anderson is right, they will likely not be happy that Ciaran is suspected of association with Darragh and I do not plan to tell them until I must, but I also do not want it to appear that we are attempting to operate against their own people behind their backs.”
“But what if they say no?” I continued, already suspicious of all of them. “I mean, what if they know he’s working with Darragh? What if they all are?”
“That would be highly unlikely, my dear,” Cormac smiled. “Until now, none of the Bhunaidh have ever been known to be involved with Darragh or any of his associates. In fact such a thing is looked down upon and would likely result in a permanent dismissal from their society.”
“But this Ciaran guy is obviously up to something, why not others?” I asked.
“Well first of all,” Jocelyn said, “we don’t know that Ciaran is guilty of anything yet. All we know is that Taron was in contact with him, and that surrounding those dealings are holes in his memory.”
“Holes? What do you mean ‘holes’?” several of us asked overtop of one another.
I’d known that Ciaran Shea was the only unaccounted for person that Taron – the dirty backstabbing traitor who was still currently under house arrest in his room at Lorcan – had been in contact with. Jocelyn had discovered that during one of the first readings of his mind just after the “incident” a few weeks ago. However, he had never mentioned anything about memory holes, though it appeared that I wasn’t the only one out of the loop.
“When did you realize that, Jocelyn?” Min asked.
“Only a few days ago,” Jocelyn sighed. “When my subsequent readings on Taron didn’t produce anything useful, I took a closer look at the memories involving Ciaran. That is when I noticed the inconsistencies: missing periods, partial conversations, and so on. They were well disguised, but once I realized what I was looking for, the holes became obvious.”
“What exactly is a memory hole?” Alex asked, making me happy to know that I wasn’t the only one who was lost.
“An absence of information, or a break in the stream of consciousness,” Jocelyn answered. “From the time we are born to the moment we die, our brains are always active, constantly collecting information. Even when asleep, our sensory organs continue to function, adding to the string of memories, thus this string would be continuous from birth to death.”
“So then, what would cause a hole?” Mr Anderson asked.
“Nothing natural,” Jocelyn replied. “The only way that a string of consciousness can have holes is if a memory or group of memories is removed.”
“Could it have been an accident?” Mr Reid asked.
“No,” Jocelyn shook his head, “absolutely not. It was deliberate, and I am more than sure it was done with Taron’s consent in an attempt to hide information. Had Taron been unwilling, there would have been tension, strain, or fear within the memories surrounding the gaps, but there is none.”
“He allowed someone to erase his memories?” I asked no one specific.
“Why have we not yet fed him to the hounds?” Mr Anderson growled, clenching and unclenching his fists.
“Taron’s fate will be determined by what Mr Shea has to tell us. Until then, he stays where he is,” Jocelyn said.
“Aye, but we could at least knock him around a bit in the meantime,” Mr Anderson grumbled quietly, earning him an elbow in the ribs from Mr Reid.
I would have been more than happy to voice my agreement, but as I knew the subject of Taron was a touchy one, I kept my opinions to myself – though not without making a mental note to secure a front row seat should Mr Anderson ever get the chance to make good on his threats.
“We will be largely playing the situation by ear,” Jocelyn said, deliberately moving the conversation on. “I am not sure how Brassal will react to the news about Ciaran, or even how much I will disclose to him, but regardless, I feel confident that if we can assure him of our discretion in handling the matter, that he will be more than willing to help us however we may need.”
“And you’ll be sure to let us know if you need anything?”
“Of course,” Jocelyn nodded. “Let’s just hope it’s smooth sailing.”
CHAPTER 3
Twenty long minutes later, after covering everything from packing to the weather, the meeting finally began to wrap up. I sat quietly the whole time, silently praying that every new topic would be the last, doing my best not to tap my foot, drum my fingers, or do anything else that would let on how antsy I was. All I wanted was for this now seemingly endless meeting to end, get away from the crowd, and have Alex to myself for a few minutes. The five short feet that separated the two of us were little over an arm’s length at best, but in the current scenario it may as well have been a mile, and after more than an hour, it was starting to irk me. We hadn’t attempted to communicate again since nearly being caught, yet somehow the silence and feigned ignorance of each other had only made my need to be closer to him build, bubbling under my skin like fizz in a soda. My only consolation was the fact that he didn’t seem to be faring much better. His once relaxed posture had become strained and his leg couldn’t seem to keep still, bouncing the hand that rested on his knee. The hand that I’d soon be able to slide my own into and feel his fingers close around mine, his thumb tracing invisible patterns on the back of my hand like it always did. I sighed quietly as I thought about…
Wait… I sighed?
Seriously?
I sighed
?
Dear Lord! What the hell was happening to me? When did I become such a sap…?
“All right then,” Jocelyn suddenly said, “does anyone have anything else?”
Ignoring my internal embarrassment at my apparent swooning, I held my breath, willing everyone in the room to stay quiet.
“Very well then,” Jocelyn nodded after an excruciating moment of silence. “If that is all, we’ll adjourn. Have a good evening everyone, and I’ll be sure to keep you all informed.”
As everyone began to stand I glanced over at Alex who was already looking my way with a smile that made it all I could do to not jump out of my chair.
“Shall we?” he asked me quietly as he stood.
“Let’s,” I grinned back, already feeling the tingle of heat in my hand as I reached for his. However, my legs had barely had a chance to completely straighten before our bubble was burst.
“Not you two,” Jocelyn said from behind us, stopping both of us in our tracks. “We need to have a discussion before you leave.”
Of course we did…
I let my lonely hand fall back to my side with an tiny sigh, turning to face Jocelyn, and only then seeing that Min had also hung back and was coming over to join the three of us.
“Are the rings ready?” Jocelyn asked her as she approached.
She nodded, reaching into a small pouch she pulled from the pocket of her dress. “Yes,” she said, turning the pouch over and letting two small silver circles roll into the palm of her hand. “Now let us hope they work.”
I squinted down at the ringlets, having no idea what to make of them. They were perfectly round and slightly cylindrical – very much like a wedding band, though they were far too small to be intended for anyone’s finger. Honestly, they looked like bangle bracelets for a Barbie doll.
“What are those?” I asked as Min reached around the side of my neck and found the clasp of my Scaith’s chain.
“They are charmed Saol rings,” Jocelyn said while Min attached the ring to the closure of my necklace. “I asked Min to make them for the two of you. They will disguise your Saols from anyone at the manor able to read them.”
“OK, why?” I said, pulling the clasp of my chain around to the front so I could see it.
“Anyone who can read your Saol will instantly know everything about you that we don’t want them knowing,” he explained. “When it comes to your ability, the less people who know, the safer you are. As far as the Bhunaidh are concerned, or anyone else for that matter, you are simply a Holder – not even a full Holder at that – and in no way exceptional.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“There,” Min said, after taking a step back and studying me for a moment. “Good.”
“It works?” Jocelyn asked.
Min nodded. “I see nothing but the mildest compulsion ability. Nothing that will attract any undue attention.”
“Why do I need one?” Alex asked as Min turned her attention to him.
“Becca’s ability is not all we need to disguise. Her ring also hides her bond to you, and this one,” she handed him the second ring, “will hide yours to her.”
“Again,” I said, not loving this idea, “why?”
“Because your bond is also exceptional,” Min answered, “and would certainly raise a few eyebrows, particularly amongst the Bhunaidh, who frown on the Anam bond in general.”
“We don’t want anything to draw more attention to you than is absolutely necessary, and allowing everyone to know that you share a reciprocal Anam bond with another Holder would do exactly that. Anything that places you under extra scrutiny also places your actual ability in danger of being discovered. Which is why, while we are at Adare Manor, it is imperative that the two of you keep the same distance from one another as you would a casual acquaintance.”
“Wait, what?”
“At least when you are anywhere within the public eye,” he nodded.
“The rings only do part of the job,” Min chimed in, “but they cannot cover the bond entirely, at least not one as strong as yours. All the typical Saol markers of a bond are masked by the charm on the rings, but if someone had a mind to look hard enough, they would be able to see it. That is why you must make sure that no one has any reason to get nosey.”
“It won’t be a problem,” Alex said, prompting a cocked eyebrow from me. “They’re right,” he said, seeing my unamused frown in his direction.
“Just being Jocelyn’s daughter will have every eye in the place on you as it is,” Min said patting my arm. “No need to add to it and invite trouble.”
“Yeah, OK,” I relented, as it was clear there was no argument I could make. “I get it.”
Satisfied, Min turned to help Alex attach his ring to his Sciath, careful to save him the embarrassment of having to completely remove it. Jocelyn turned to me, slightly angling his shoulders away from Min and Alex and tipping his head down as if to signal the start of a semi-private conversation.
“Speaking of being related,” Jocelyn said, his lowered voice sounding a bit nervous. “I should let you know before we leave that while we are with the Bhunaidh, you will need to use the name Clavish.” He looked up at me in a guarded fashion, as if he thought I might violently reject the whole idea. I did feel my brow furrow, but it was more out of confusion than anything else. Clearly it didn’t read that way to Jocelyn because his tone was borderline apologetic as he quickly continued. “That is how they have always known you. I never allowed anyone outside of a few members of the Order know the name Ingle, it simply seemed safer that way–”
“No, no,” I cut in, hoping to ease his nerves. “It’s fine. I was just confused, that’s all. No big deal.”
“You’re sure?” he asked, though the lines on his face did seem to relax.
“Absolutely.”
“Good,” he said, then after a moment added, “thank you,” which I wish he hadn’t.
“No problem,” I nodded, willing the awkwardness I felt creeping back in to go away.
“I know it will be odd for you, but I do believe it is best for everyone this way.” He’d said “everyone,” but his eyes told me what he’d really meant.
Mom.
The question that had been bothering me for a while reared up in my mind, and as much as I didn’t want to get back to this particular subject with him just yet, I couldn’t let it go anymore. “No one’s…” I paused, glancing down at the rug. “No one’s going to hurt her or anything, are they?”
The notion had been haunting me since I’d learned that Taron had been working for Darragh all those years, and the idea that she was back in Pennsylvania all on her own just waiting to somehow be used against us was one that kept me up more nights than I’d like to recall.
He didn’t answer immediately, which, even while unsettling, I appreciated. It meant he was trying to be honest and not just give me the quick answer he knew I wanted to hear. “I have done everything I can to make sure that doesn’t happen,” he said, as I looked back at him. “The Order is not without resources. Protection charms have been placed on your house as well as the hospital and places she frequents, and I have sent men to watch over her.”
“You have?”
“Three,” he nodded. “All former students who are more than capable of keeping an eye on her and even offering protection and assistance should the need arise.”
I hated to do it, but I had to ask. “And we’re sure…” I left the question hanging, but he knew what I meant.
“Yes, they can be trusted. I read them all thoroughly before I gave them any information.”
Wow. I knew how much Jocelyn disliked using his ability, so for him to have put his ideals aside and read the minds of three different people voluntarily was no small thing. I knew that Taron’s betrayal had been a blow, but it was clear he would not be making the same mistake twice.
“OK,” I said simply, letting him know that I trusted his judgment. It wasn’t a perfect scenario, but just knowing that she was in fact being looked after and that we would know if she was to get into trouble was enough to ease my mind, at least for the moment.
With a nod, Jocelyn walked over to his desk while I turned back to Alex and Min, crossing my fingers that they were done and Alex and I could finally get away. When I saw him waiting for me patiently, the excitement in my stomach bubbled back to life. I took his hand as we walked toward the office door, no longer concerned with who might see. All I cared about was the fact that I was a mere twenty steps away from the kiss I’d been waiting all afternoon for. My pulse quickened and my lips hummed, all in anticipation of the moment Alex and I made it through the door and around the corner. We were nearly there, close enough now to reach for the handle, pull open the door, and…
“Alex?” Jocelyn called from behind us. “One last thing, do you have a minute to go with me to vehicle services and pick up the car for the trip? I need to register you as an alternate driver.”
A half hour later – and still kiss-less – I was taking my frustrations out on the unassuming piles of clothes stacked on my bed when I heard a knock on the door to my room.
“Becca?” Before I could answer, I heard the handle click and looked up to see my brother Ryland’s curly red head pop through the door.
“Hey,” I said, flipping the lid to my suitcase open, “What are you doing here? Don’t you have soccer practice?” Ryland had only joined the team a few weeks ago, and the idea that he was actually a part of any sports team still blew my mind.
“Nope, not today,” he shrugged, shuffling over to the bed without bothering to close the door. “Coach is sick. No,” he continued, as I moved to shut the door behind him, “leave it open, it’s hot in here.”
“OK,” I said, not at all hot, but not caring enough to argue. “So, no practice…” I prompted him to continue.
“Yeah,” he nodded, plopping down on the foot of my bed. “So I came to say hi.”
“Really…?”
“Yep. So, what’s up?”
I cocked an eyebrow, but I wasn’t about to question him further. Honestly, I was kind of thrilled he came to see me on his own without me having to initiate a visit like I normally did. It wasn’t that I never got to see him, but lately the kid had more social appointments then there were hours in the day, which didn’t tend to leave a lot of room for entertaining older sisters. Life at St Brigid’s had turned him into a new person, and I was thrilled that he was finally able to have the normal happy life that a kid deserves.
I really was.
But, great as it was for him, for me – selfish as I felt admitting it – it was still kind of hard. The whole concept of not needing to constantly be there to defend or protect him was still new, but I was doing my best to get used to his newfound independence. Even if it meant I didn’t get to see him as much as I would like to.
Sudden as it was, if he wanted to hang out, I wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. It was clear I had been his plan B for the afternoon; that was fine by me, I’d take what I could get.
“OK, then,” I said casually, turning back to my packing efforts. “Nothing’s up, what’s up with you?”
“Nothing,” he sighed. “You guys still going to the castle tomorrow?” he asked as he nudged my suitcase to the side with his foot so he could sprawl out across the bed.
“Make yourself comfortable, why don’t you?” I chided, picking up the stack of shirts he’d knocked over. “Yep, tomorrow morning.”
“Is it really a castle? Do you get to stay there?”
“Yes, it’s a real castle,” I said, smiling at his enthusiasm as I stuffed a handful of underwear into my suitcase, “but I doubt it’s the kind of castle you’re thinking of. The inside has been renovated dozens of times, so now it’s basically a really nice hotel. People have weddings and parties there all the time.”
“Oh,” he frowned, let down. “But it still looks like a castle on the outside, right?”
“Pretty much.”
“Is there a moat?”
“No moat,” I chuckled, “sorry.”
“Dungeon?”
“I doubt it.” And even if there was, odds are it would have long since been turned into a wine cellar.
Ryland said something else, but I didn’t catch it. I was distracted by the unmistakable feel of Alex approaching my room. I looked up, expecting to see him smiling in the doorway – but it was empty. That was odd…
“What’s wrong?” Ryland asked, as I looked out into the empty hallway through the still-open door.
“Nothing,” I said, glancing around the room once more before eyeing the ceiling. Alex’s room was directly above mine, he must have gone there first.
“Is that your dress?” Ry asked, pointing to the garment bag hanging over the back of my desk chair.
“One of them is, yes,” I said, grabbing my toiletry bag from the bathroom, suddenly eager to be done packing.
“Can I see it?”
“My dress? Why?”
“I don’t know, I want to see it.”
“I tried to show you the sketch the seamstress did and I believe your exact words were, ‘What’s it matter, aren’t all dresses the same?’”
“I changed my mind,” he said, hopping off the bed. “Which one is it?”
“The top bag,” I said, giving up the fight with him in favor of starting one with the zipper on my suitcase. “Just be caref–” I stopped short as suddenly it all came together; Ry leaving the door open, feeling Alex nearby but not seeing him, Ry wanting to see my dress... And it almost worked.
Almost.
Just as Ryland’s hand went for the garment bag, I reached over and snatched it away. “Nice try,” I said, triumphant grin on my face.
“What?” Ry asked, eyes a bit too innocent.
“I wasn’t talking to you,” I said, laying the garment bags down and turning to the “empty” space in the middle of my room, shaking my head with a scowl. “You are in so much trouble…”
My threat hung in the air only a second before there was a visible ripple in the air and Alex appeared, standing in the corner of my room, a guilty grin on his face.
“That’s so cool,” Ryland whispered in awe as I glared, crossing my arms.
“You were
hiding
from
me
?”
“Wish I could do that…” Ry continued to moon.
“And you,” I snipped turning to him, “this is why you came to see me? So you could help pull one over on me?”
“No,” Ry said, defensively, “I came on my own, thank you very much. Then Alex saw me coming in and asked me to help him,” he finished, looking over to Alex to back his story.
Alex shook his head. “Nope, didn’t happen.”
“Did too!” Ry yelled, shocked and appalled at the betrayal.
“Sorry buddy,” Alex shrugged, “every man for himself.”
Not about to be turned on, Ry grabbed the pillow from my bed and took a swat at him. “Traitor!” Alex easily avoided the assault, stepping back with a laugh, grabbing the pillow and pulling Ry toward him, flipping him around. A moment later, Alex had the pillow in one arm while holding Ry in a playful headlock in the other.
“What he actually came to ask,” Alex told me with a chuckle, “was if we wanted to go to dinner tonight.”
“Not sure I want to eat with either of you,” I said, raising my eyebrows.
“Me either!” Ry mumbled as he struggled against Alex’s arm.
“What if,” Alex said letting him go, “I make it so no one can see you when we walk back to your dorm after dinner?”
“Really?” Ry asked, perking up immediately. “The whole way?”
“From the dining hall all the way to your room.”
“Awesome!”
“I still have to pack, so how about we meet you over there in an hour?” Alex asked him.
“Cool!” he said skipping to the door, completely distracted by the idea of spending a good five minutes of the day invisible. “See you there! Bye Becca!”
As Ryland took off down the hall, I continued to glare at Alex as he went over to the door, shutting it slowly. Once he clicked the lock into place, he slid his hands into his pockets and turned back to face me, his eyes smiling as they looked out from under his eyebrows like a guilty puppy.
“Hi... Sorry… Hi…”
My eyes narrowed as my lips pressed together. “You do not hide from me, sir.”
“Sorry,” he smiled.
“Mmmhmm.” I pursed my lips.
“Maybe I can make it up to you,” he suggested, stepping toward me with a sly edge to his grin.
“You better have something better in mind than making me invisible,” I said, already fighting to stay stern and keep my longing in check.
“Hmm,” he hummed, taking my face in his hands and closing the space between us. “I might have a few ideas.”
A breath later and his lips were finally on mine, and all the tension and frustration of the last few hours burned away like fog in the sun. My hands slid up around his neck as his moved down my back, gripping me around the waist as our mouths began to move more fervently against one another. I sighed as the familiar scent of him filled my head, tightening my stomach with every breath, tingling every hair on my body. With a moan he began to come toward me, forcing me back, back, back, until I was pinned between him and the wall. He braced his right arm against the cool stone while his left wound around my middle, arching my back and pulling me against him.
“I missed you,” he breathed as his lips left mine to work down my neck, causing my head to loll and legs to shiver.
“You know,” I smiled, slowly dragging my leg up his and savoring the groan it triggered, “if you really want to make it up to me…” I left my sentence hanging, though I pulled him harder against me to drive home my point.
I felt his lips smile against my throat, but instead of taking my somewhat blatant offer, he raised his head and kissed me once more on the lips before standing and pulling me into his arms for a far less scandalous hug.
“I don’t think today is the day for that,” he said, resting his forehead against mine. “Ryland is expecting us for dinner, after all.”
“Wait,” I said, leaning back and looking up at him, still catching my breath, “we’re stopping, just like that? Seriously?”
I don’t know why I was surprised; Alex was the king of getting me all hot and bothered then finding any excuse on the planet to stop before things could reach the next level. I’d even gone as far as to start taking a…
ahem
…certain daily prescription, just to make sure I was ready when the time finally did come, but thanks to Alex’s never ending quest to find the perfect situation for us, thus far my efforts had been for nothing.
“You have to finish packing,” he sighed, threading his hands together behind the small of my back, “and I have to start.”
“Yeah, I know, but it doesn’t have to be this second. Maybe tonight we could–” but he silenced me with a light kiss.
“We are leaving first thing in the morning. You need to sleep.”
With a frustrated huff, I stepped around him and walked back over to my bed. “Now we need to get sleep?” I grumbled, stuffing the rest of my clothes into my suitcase. “Your excuses are getting lamer, you know.”
“Becca,” he said, gently grabbing my arm and turning me around, “I’m not making excuses.”
“I know,” I sighed. “You just want everything to be perfect.” I took his face between my hands, “And I appreciate it – really I do. But if you are waiting for perfection we are never going to get there, because there is no such thing.”
“Really?” he asked, a mischievous light sparking in his eye. “Because I thought that a luxury room in a five-star castle sounded pretty close.”
My eyes popped open. “No way… you mean…”
“But,” he shrugged, “if you don’t think that – “ but it was my turn to kiss him silent.
“You’re serious about this?” I asked, my excitement bubbling dangerously high.
“I am.”
“Because I’m going to hold you to it.”
“Be my guest.”
“No excuses?”
“No excuses, no rain checks, no stalling,” he laughed. “Though,” he added, “I do have to insist on one stipulation.”
“Which is?” I refolded my arms, already skeptical.
“That one of us has a room nowhere near Jocelyn’s.”
“Oh. OK, yeah, that’s a good one,” I admitted. Nothing puts the damper on romance quicker than having your father in the next room.
“So we’re agreed?” he asked, offering me his hand to shake.
“Agreed.”