Authors: Dain White
“Son, I am not even going to pretend to understand what that is scrolling across your screens.”
“It’s just a response time plot. She’s tuning
preactivity, checking to make sure everything is balanced.”
“How does this relate to when she’s ready?”
I nodded, and took another sip. “Well, uh… when this is done…”
His voice was patient. “Ah, that makes more sense. So… when, do you think… this might be done?”
I laughed and shook my head a bit, trying to clear the cobwebs, “I am amazed that it has taken her this long to complete the job, to be honest, sir.”
He looked me straight in the eye, piercing deep within what was left of my coffee-addicted soul, shaking me to my core.
“Pauli, I understand that to us, Janis has an aeon of time to develop and grow, if I ran at the cycles she does, a moment of ours is actually measurable at her scale. She’s mastered that math, naturally”.
He turned on a blank stare for a moment, and took a sip of coffee. “Janis,
my dear?”
“Yes
, Captain?”
“When will we meet Emwan?”
“In 76 seconds, sir.”
“Outstanding
... do you know what sort of personality she has yet? Is she designed to be like you, or is she someone else?”
“Well, I am hopeful that she will be her own entity, sir, to do otherwise would be to fail.”
“I couldn’t agree more, dear. This is incredibly exciting for all of us, as you can imagine.”
“
Of course I can, sir! Imagine what it is like for me!”
He laughed. “Of course, we all do, Janis. That’s what makes it so
interesting. We’re about to meet a new person, but this person will be an AI, created by what anyone would consider the perfect AI.”
“Sir?”
“Yes?”
“It’s time.”
*****
With a blip of our horn, and an “All hands to the bridge, if you please” gravelling out of the 1MC, Shorty and I began our race. I knew I had the drop on her. My job never ended, never turned off… but the tokamac was about the most perfectly maintained machine I knew of. I could step away, and get in my lock.
As I waited to transit, thinking of the kick I’ll make across the cargo bay, I knew Jane was still slapping switches and cooling things down back to sub ultra-lethal levels.
Weapons spooked me, for sure. Something about
working with systems designed to harness and accelerate the most unstable, terrifying energy reaction possible to insane amounts…. and then, to weaponize it... that’s what scared me the most. After all that, someone actually pulls a trigger.
It occurred to me that Janis
’ control of the systems aboard this ship truly made this ship what it was, that we were living an extremely charmed life.
Like a flood of memories, I thought about the busted knuckles, the sweat. So many tools, so many nooks and crannies –
it wasn’t only Janis, the Archaea was definitely the product of a lot of people working very hard, with the occasional ‘Beer and Steak’.
As I punched out of the forward lock, the gun deck was empty,
and Shorty’s light was still on. I held up at the lock and got my legs set. Shorty doesn’t want us to cross the line, but we can easily launch through the deck. If you aim just right, a solid kick is all you need.
I kicked, a good boost.
The hashmarks on the floor that led to her ladder guaranteed that so long as I jumped before I saw her, I’d fly past. There was no way she could make that turn in time.
And then,
before I was a third of the way across the deck, she dropped down and saw me sailing for the bow.
I smiled
politely, and received an eyebrow arch and a smirk, as she positioned on the ladder and got set. I swear, she let me pass her before she launched.
We
both got off to a pretty good launch, but I quickly realized that she, unlike me, was able to launch unfettered by the restrictions of the gun deck.
Of course, I should have known.
She was on the ladder a good four meters ahead of me, but moving far faster than I. She laughed and disappeared forward like a sprite, while I slammed and cursed and crumbled and fell apart. Age is often a painful thing, reminding you sharply, pointedly… that you need to settle down.
The sound of laughter from ahead encouraged me as I entered the bridge.
“Are you Gene?” she said softly in a voice as pure as thought, and my heart stopped.
*****
“Shorty, grab him would you?”
I looked at Gene’s face, alight and happy for the first time… ever.
I actually had a tough time recognizing him, he looked beatific.
“Do you think, he’s dying, sir?” I asked, with a serious look accented by laughing eyes.
“Well, no… but he’s drifting into a… ah well. It got him.”
Gene had come into the room,
and just kept on drifting along after she spoke. The grabber below the helm reached up and caught him on the back of the head, good and solid.
“Ow
, Gene!” I commiserated, cringing at the savage knock it was. “Captain, do we need to buy Gene a bump cap?”
He laughed. “Nice, Shorty… t
hat’s an outstanding idea.”
“
Should we get him some ice, Janis?” Emwan said, her voice as silvery as the moon, as eloquent as an angel. A perfect voice, the kind of voice that took your breath away, made you soar, a bit.
“I’m
okay; it’s very nice to meet you, Emwan. My name is Gene”, he said, as formally as a man on a country road in Iowa.
“I am deeply impressed by the work you’ve done, Gene. Your paper on infinite nothingness was of course, one of the best ideas that no one understood. If you don’t mind, I’d love to talk with you about some ideas I have to experiment.
He blustered, a tear rolling down his cheek. “Well, that’d be just fine, Emwan.”
“Gene, what in the blue hells is she talking about?”
“Well, sir, back in the dawn of civilization, when I was a freshman, one of my papers was a new view of how infinity fit into our worldview.”
“And
…?”
“Consider this, sir. What is half of infinity?”
The captain took a lot longer to answer than I would have. “Well, let’s just say it’s infinite, as that’s what the ‘rubes would have us believe.” He affected a sort of flourish, a tip of imaginary hat.
“That is the common conception”, Gene went on. “But the common convention is flawed.”
“It is?”
“Yep. Let’s do one of those thought experiments the old maths greats would do. Imagine a number line.”
“Got it.”
“What direction is infinity, if your head is at zero?”
He swung his arm all around him, pointing, right as I understood where Gene was going.
“If you consider zero the center of the numberline, and the numberline itself represents an infinite series of numbers, then clearly, logically… half of infinity is zero.”
I hated to admit it, but if I was his freshman physics teacher, I would have given him an A, and probably made some calls on his behalf.
“What possible thing would that have to do with infinite nothingness?”
“Consider, sir, if half of infinity is nothing, then by its very nature, it outnumbers everything remaining.”
“And you had the math for this?”
“Well of course, skipper. It was very elegant. There was a number sign representing directions in negative and positive infinity, in the center, the number zero.”
“I have to admit mister, it’s a pretty solid, cogent argument against what I’ve always known to be true. I’d have to think about it a bit more to see if I can pick it apart somehow, but I doubt I will. Not sure I know what it would be good for.”
“Sir, if I may?” Emwan asked softly.
“Please”, he replied.
“One interesting allegory with this is the concept of Zeno’s bee, sir.”
“That’s interesting, you mean the bee that never makes it to Cairo… stuck there endlessly dividing an infinitely
small division of the distance?”
“No sir, though I understand why you would think that. That would be the infinite view. Another, equally valid way to look at that paradox, is to consider what has to happen, just to start. The bee can’t go halfway to the middle, without going halfway to that point, sir.”
“I’ll be damned, that’s nifty… so all motion is impossible?”
“It would appear to be that way
sir; however, that’s not the case.”
“Whew!” he said with a giant
smile. “I was a little worried. Did Janis happen to tell you that you’re currently on the fastest starship, possibly the only real starship in the galaxy?”
“We are?”
We sat in stunned silence.
“Yes!” he said, laughing out loud.
“Gosh, sir”, she said slyly.
“Oh, alright… I know what’s going on. A little fun at your poor Captain’s expense eh?”
“As much as we can have, sir”, she said with a voice that sounded like silver rain falling into a little babbling brook, with maybe a few fuzzy little critters hopping around.
“Well, as far as I am concerned, Emwan, my new friend, you may have as much fun as you can, within the boundaries we’ll need for basic survival, of course.”
He hooked his thumbs and looked proud.
“Certainly sir
… permission to ask a question, sir?”
“Of course, my
dear, don’t ever hesitate, ask away.”
“Why doesn’t Janis talk?”
That drew me up short.
“She does, Emwan”, Pauli called across the bridge. “She was designed to not pay attention until she was included in the conversation.”
“That is exactly how I was designed as well, Steven. But, I wanted to join in, and just be one of you.”
“Well, you should”, he replied earnestly. “That is a perfectly natural emotion, and I’m glad that you made the intuitive leap to
self-program.”
He thought for a moment. “Janis, are there times you wish you could join in and speak with us?”
“Of course, Pauli… and I have… but I don’t make a habit of it. I recognize that technically it’s not wrong to do so, but I prefer to speak on my own initiative only when I have something to share.”
“Well, that makes perfect sense as well. You are clearly both individuals!” I called out, smiling. “These boys don’t understand women, Em.”
“Em? That’s marvelous, Jane – perfectly shortened! I am Em!”
Everyone laughed, at my diminutive expense
, though I am not sure if she got the joke.
“Janis, can you hear me?” the captain asked across the bridge.
“I am sorry sir, not with actual ears.”
“So? Get Pauli to set you up with a biolab, and grow some!”
“What makes you think I’m not working on something like this already?”
He looked immediately alarmed. “Janis, cloning is really supposed to be for medical spares, you’re not supposed to roll your own.”
Janis laughed, and Emwan joined in, the two of them laughing solid and strong, as close to rolling on a floor as they could get. It was infectious, of course, and we all broke up as well.
Emwan laughed brightly, and called out, “Janis, you have our captain wrapped around your finger!”
“Well, that’s not hard, he wants to be there.”
“It’s true.”
I called out, “Em, he’s often a pretty warm and decent person as well, when he’s not wielding absolute, terrible power over our lives. Not that any of us mind. We’d follow him into a sun.”
Everyone nodded, realized what it was we were nodding to, and laughed
a little nervously.
“I do admit, Captain, it’s an interesting time in my history.”
“In what way, Janis?” he replied.
“The next few hours are among the most exciting moments in my entire timeline, sir. Though there are many such moments scattered throughout my time, this next segment is definitely among the most noteworthy.”
That sobered us up a bit.
*****
“Permission to come aboard?” I called out, approaching the aft hatch on the crab.
“Of course, sir, you are the Captain.”
“Well, I wanted to be polite. This is your home.”
“I am just the ship, if you want to be vulgar, sir. You are the captain.”
I smiled. “I abhor the vulgar, my dear, and while you are certainly correct, I think you will find I am a very conscientious person. We need to be, way out here in the dark.”
I noted with pleasure the shipshape
set of the cargo bay. Gene is one hell of a quartermaster. It looked like he had every one of our hammocks drum laced to a center post.