Authors: Morgan Rice
He shrugs. “Maybe an hour.”
An hour
, I think. It feels like an eternity.
I check the gas gauge, and it reads half empty. That doesn’t bode well.
“
Any sign of fuel anywhere?” I ask.
The moment I ask, I realize it is a stupid question.
Logan looks over at me, as if to say
really
? Of course, if he had seen a fuel depot, he would have hit it.
“
Where are we?” I ask.
“
These are your parts,” he says. “I was going to ask you the same thing.”
I scan the river again, but still can’t recognize anything. That’s the thing about the Hudson—it’s so wide, and it stretches forever, and it’s so easy to lose one’s bearings.
“
Why didn’t you wake me?” I ask.
“
Why should I? You needed the sleep.”
I don’t quite know what else to say to him. That’s the thing about Logan: I like him, and I feel he likes me, but I don’t know if we have all that much to say to each other. It doesn’t help that he’s guarded, and that I am, too.
We continue in silence, the white water churning beneath us, and I wonder how much longer we can go on. What will we do when our fuel runs out?
In the distance, I spot something on the horizon. It looks like some sort of structure, in the water. At first I wonder if I am seeing things, but then Logan cranes his neck, alert, and I realize he must see it, too.
“
I think it’s a bridge,” he says. “A downed bridge.”
I realize he’s right. Growing ever closer is a towering hunk of twisted metal, sticking up out of the water like some sort of monument to hell. I remember this bridge: it once beautifully spanned the river; now, it’s a huge heap of scrap metal, plunging at jagged angles down into the water.
Logan slows the boat, the engine quieting as we get closer. Our speed drops and the boat rocks wildly. The jagged metal protrudes from every direction, and Logan navigates, turning the boat left and right, creating his own little pathway. I look up as we go at the bridge’s remains, looming over us. It looks like it rises hundreds of feet high, a testament to what humanity was once able to do before we started killing each other.
“
The Tappan Zee,” I remark. “We’re about an hour north of the city. We’ve got a good jump on them, if they’re coming after us.”
“
They
are
coming after us,” he said. “You can bet on it.”
I look at him. “How can you be so sure?”
“
I know them. They never forget.”
As we pass the last scrap of metal, Logan picks up speed and I lean back as we accelerate.
“
How far behind us do you think they are?” I ask.
He looks at the horizon, stoic. Finally, he shrugs.
“
Hard to say. Depends how long it takes to rally the troops. Snow’s heavy, which is good for us. Maybe three hours? Maybe six, if we’re lucky? Good thing is, this baby’s fast. I think we can outrun them, as long as we have fuel.”
“
But we don’t,” I say, pointing out the obvious. “We left with a full tank—now we’re half empty. We’ll be empty in just a few hours. Canada’s a long way away. How do you propose we find fuel?”
Logan stares at the water, thinking.
“
We have no choice,” he says. “We have to find it. There’s no alternative. We can’t stop.”
“
We’re going to need to rest at some point,” I say. “We’re going to need food, and some sort of shelter. We can’t stay out in this temperature all day and all night.”
“
Better to starve and freeze than be caught by slaverunners,” he says.
I think of dad’s house, farther upriver. We’re going to pass right by it. I remember my vow to my old dog, Sasha, to bury her. I also think of all the food up there, in that stone cottage—we can salvage it, and it would sustain us for days. I think of all the tools in dad’s garage, all the things we can make use of. Not to mention the extra clothes, blankets and matches.
“
I want to make a stop.”
Logan turns and looks at me as if I’m crazy. I can see that he doesn’t like this.
“
What are you talking about?”
“
My dad’s house. In Catskill. About an hour north of here. I want to stop there. There are a lot of things we can salvage. Things we’ll need. Like food. And,” I pause, “I want to bury my dog.”
“
Bury your dog?” he asks, his voice rising. “Are you crazy? You want to get us all killed for that?”
“
I promised her,” I say.
“
Promised?” he shoots back. “Your dog? Your dead dog? You’ve got to be kidding.”
I stare him down, and he realizes pretty quickly that I’m not.
“
If I promise something, I deliver. I’d bury you if I promised.”
He shakes his head.
“
Listen,” I say firmly. “You wanted Canada. We could have gone anywhere. That was
your
dream. Not mine. Who knows it this town even exists? I’m following you on a whim. And this boat’s not just yours. All I want is to stop at my dad’s place. Get some stuff, which we need, and put my dog to rest. It won’t take long. We’ve got a big jump on the slaverunners. Not to mention, we have a small canister of fuel up there. It’s not much, but it will help.”
Logan slowly shakes his head.
“
I’d rather not have that fuel and not take such a risk. You’re talking about the mountains. You’re talking about twenty miles inland, right? How do you propose we get there once we dock? Hike?”
“
I know where there’s an old truck. A beat-up pickup. It’s just a rusted shell, but it runs, and it’s got just enough fuel to get us there and back. It’s hidden, by the river line. The river will take us right to it. The truck will take us up and back. It will be quick. And then we can continue on our long trip to Canada. And we’ll be better for it.”
Logan stares silently at the water for a long time, his fists clenched tight around the wheel.
Finally, he says, “Whatever. It’s your life to risk. But I’m staying with the boat. You’ve got two hours. If you’re not back in time, I’m taking off.”
I turn away from him and look out at the water, fuming mad. I wanted him to come. I feel like he’s looking out for himself, and it disappoints me. I thought he was better than that.
“
So you only care about yourself, is that it?” I ask.
It also worries me that he doesn’t want to accompany me to my dad’s house; I hadn’t thought of that. I know Ben won’t want to come and I would’ve appreciated some backup. Whatever. I’m still resolved. I made a promise, and I will keep it. With or without him.
He doesn’t respond, and I can tell he’s annoyed.
I look out at the water, not wanting to see him. As the water churns amidst the constant whine of the engine, I realize I’m mad not only because I’m disappointed in him, but because I was actually starting to like him, to count on him. I haven’t depended on anyone for a long time. It’s a scary feeling, depending on someone again, and I feel betrayed.
“
Brooke?”
My heart lifts at the sounds of the familiar voice, and I turn to see my little sister awake. Rose wakes, too. Those two are already like peas in a pod, like extensions of one person.
I still can hardly believe that Bree is here, back with me. It’s like a dream. When she was taken, a part of me was sure I’d never see her alive again. Every moment I am with her, I feel like I’ve been given a second chance, and I feel more determined than ever to watch over her.
“
I’m hungry,” Bree says, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands.
Penelope sits up, too, in Bree’s lap. She won’t stop trembling, and she raises her good eye and looks at me, as if she’s hungry, too.
“
I’m freezing,” Rose echoes, rubbing her shoulders. She wears only a thin shirt, and I feel terrible for her.
I understand. I’m starving and freezing, too. My nose is red and I can barely feel it. Those goodies we found in the boat were amazing, but hardly filling—especially on an empty stomach. And that was hours ago. I think again of the food chest, of what little we have left, and wonder how long until it runs out. I know I should ration the food. But then again, we’re all starving, and I can’t stand to see Bree looking like that.
“
There’s not much food left,” I tell her, “but I can give you guys a little bit of it now. We have some cookies, and some crackers.”
“
Cookies!” they both yell at once. Penelope barks.
“
I wouldn’t do that,” comes Logan’s voice beside me.
I look over, and see him glancing back disapprovingly.
“
We need to ration it.”
“
Please!” Bree cries out. “I need something. I’m starving.”
“
I need to give them
something
,” I say firmly back to Logan, understanding where his head is, but annoyed at his lack of compassion. “I’m doling out one cookie each. For all of us.”
“
What about Penelope?” Rose asks.
“
The dog’s not getting any of our food,” Logan snaps. “She’s on her own.”
I feel another twinge of upset at Logan, though I know he’s being rational. Still, as I see the crestfallen look on Rose and Bree’s faces, and as I hear her bark again, I can’t bear to let her starve. I quietly resign to give her some food from my own rations.
I open the chest, and survey once again our stash of food. I see two boxes of cookies, three boxes of crackers, several bags of gummy bears, and a half dozen chocolate bars. I wish there was some more substantial food, and I don’t know how we’re going to make this last, how this will suffice for three meals a day for five people.
I pull out the cookies and dole out one to each person. Ben finally snaps out of it at the site of the food, and accepts a cookie. His eyes have black circles under them, and he looks as if he hasn’t slept. It is painful to see his expression, so devastated from the loss of his brother, and I look away as I hand him his cookie.
I come to the front of the boat, and hand Logan his. He takes it and silently puts into his pocket, of course, rationing it for later. I don’t know where he gets his strength from. Myself, I go weak at the smell of the chocolate chip cookie. I know I should ration it, too, but I can’t help it. I take a small bite, resolving to put it away—but it tastes so good, I can’t help myself—I devour the entire thing, saving only the last bite, which I set aside for Penelope.
The food feels so good. The sugar rushes to my head, then through my body, and I wish I had a dozen more. I take a deep breath at the stomach pain, trying to control myself.
The river narrows, the shores becoming ever closer to each other, as it twists and turns. We’re close to land and I’m on high alert, looking to the shorelines for any sign of danger. As we round a bend I look to my left and see, high up on a cliff, the ruins of an old fortification, now bombed out. I am shocked as I realize what it once was.
“
West Point,” Logan says. He must realize at the same time as I do.
It is shocking to see this bastion of American strength now just a pile of rubble, its twisted flagpole hanging limply over the Hudson. Hardly anything remains of what once was.
“
What is that?” Bree asks, her teeth chattering. She and Rose have climbed to the front of the boat, beside me, and she looks out, following my gaze. I don’t want to tell her.
“
It’s nothing sweetie,” I say. “Just a ruin.”
I put my arm around her and pull her close, and put my other arm around Rose and pull her close, too. I tried to warm them up, rubbing their shoulders as best I can.
“
When are we going home?” Rose asks.
Logan and I exchange a look. I hardly know how to answer.
“
We’re not going home,” I say to Rose, as gently as I can, “but we’re on our way to find a new home.”
“
Are we going to pass by our old home?” Bree asks.
I hesitate. “Yes,” I say.
“
But we’re not going back there, right?” she asks.
“
Right,” I say. “It’s too dangerous to live there now.”
“
I don’t want to live there again,” she says. “I hated that place. But we can’t just leave Sasha there. Are we going stop and bury her? You promised.”
I think back to my argument with Logan.
“
You’re right,” I say softly. “I did promise. And yes, we will stop.”
Logan turns away, clearly miffed.
“
And then what?” Rose asks. “And then where will we go?”
“
We’re going to keep going upriver,” I explain. “As far as it will take us.”
“
Where does it end?” she asks.
It’s a good question, and I take it as a much more profound question. Where does all of this end? With our deaths? With our survival? Will it ever end? Is there any end in sight?
I don’t have the answer.
I turn, and kneel, and look into her eyes. I need to give her hope. Something to live for.
“
It ends in a beautiful place,” I say. “Where we’re going, everything is good again. The streets are so clean that they shine, and everything is perfect and safe. There will be people there, friendly people, and they will take us in and protect us. There will be food, too, real food, all you can eat, all the time. It will be the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen.”
Rose’s eyes open wide.
“
Is that true?” she asks.
I nod. Slowly, she breaks into a wide smile.
“
How long until we make it there?”
I smile. “I don’t know sweetheart.”
Bree, though, is more cynical than Rose.
“
Is that really true?” she asks, softly. “Is there really such a place?”