Authors: Devin Morgan
T
he office phone rang once and stopped as Maggie answered. Sarah’s office door opened
and Maggie stepped inside, her forehead puckered, a disbelieving look on her face.
“Sarah, its Jeff.”
“Jeff? My ex-husband?”
“Yep. The same. Do you want to take the call?”
“Yes. It can’t be good.” She reached to pick up the receiver.
“Jeff, what can I do for you?” Sarah sat at her desk, her back to the door as she
looked out her window. A cool, spring rain fell in gentle drops across the city. Strange,
her ex hadn’t contacted her personally in months. It was usually his attorneys who
did all the communicating.
“It was great to see you at Bob and Colleen’s party. You look happy. I’m glad to see
that.” His tone was light, conversational.
“Thanks Jeff. What is it that you want?”
“Will you have lunch with me this week?” His words were tentative, almost pleading,
so different than his usual brusque manner. “Any day you’re free?”
“What in the world for?” She answered without thinking, her voice sharp and tight.
“Look, I just want to talk to you. I’m having some personal problems and you know
me better than anyone.”
“Jeff, you have a wife. She should be the one helping you with your personal problems.
Not me.” Her tone was flat, to the point.
“Sarah, give me a break. We were partners for a long, long time. I need some advice
and I don’t know who else to talk to.”
Sarah sighed into the phone. “Okay but there’s no need to meet for lunch. You don’t
have to bribe me.” She swung her chair around to face her desk. She picked up a pen
and began doodling infinity signs on the yellow pad resting in front of her. “What’s
the matter?”
“Well, it’s a little embarrassing.”
“Okay.”
“It’s Susan.”
“Susan? You’re coming to me with problems about Susan?” She stopped doodling. She
couldn’t believe her ears, her shock audible. “Don’t you think that’s a little off
the wall?”
“Maybe, but I don’t know who else to talk to.”
“Look Jeff, you always were insensitive, but this is unbelievable. Take your Susan
problems to a shrink or a lawyer, not to your ex-wife.” She didn’t bother to hide
her exasperation. “Are you out of your mind?”
“But you’re a therapist.” Again, the pleading tone.
“Sorry but this is way out of the line of my expertise.” She laid her pen on the desk.
“Listen, good luck and have a nice day.”
Shaking her head in disbelief, she hung up the phone. “Boy, I am so grateful to be
out of that one.” She sighed. “Unbelievable.”
#
“Carlos didn’t show up for his last session and I’m worried.” The restaurant was noisy.
Maggie leaned closer to hear Sarah speak. “I can’t figure it out.”
“He has been consistent up until now. What do you think happened?” Her assistant spoke
as she poured all three small cardboard containers of blue cheese dressing on the
lettuce and
tomato left in her plate “I hate eating rabbit food.” She used her spoon to scrape
the last drops of the dressing onto the remnants of her salad. “Did you ever notice
the first three letters of the word diet spell die?”
Sarah smiled at her friend but her thoughts sobered quickly. “I don’t know what’s
going on with him and that’s part of what has me worried. He’s been so up front with
me. Now, nothing.” Sarah wondered if she should tell Maggie about their conversation
at Colleen’s party. “I’m not sure what to do?”
“Did you contact the half-way house?”
“Yeah. He goes there to sleep at night and he hasn’t missed a day on his job. I’ve
left messages both places but he hasn’t returned my calls.” She moved her half eaten
salad from in front of her. “I don’t want to push him by showing up there and I don’t
want to bring Colleen into this because I don’t want to cause him any trouble. But,
I don’t know how else to get in contact with him. I just don’t know what’s going on.”
“We have his parents’ address in his file. Maybe if you go there, you can find out
something.”
“I hate to intrude but I think you’re right. If he doesn’t come to session on Friday,
I’ll call them.” She had never done anything remotely like this before, but she was
determined not to lose Carlos and his progress back to the streets.
Maggie finished her salad and buttered the last piece of bread.
#
The neighborhood where Carlos’ parents lived was quiet and full of budding spring
flowers. Many trees and shrubs lined the well-kept parkway and some of the driveways
had children’s toys scattered in them. Sarah took her time as she parked. She got
out of her car, locked the door and stood for a moment looking at the front of the
house. An old fashioned swing attached by chains at one end of the wooden porch seemed
inviting. She walked slowly,
climbing the few steps to the door.
A lovely middle-aged woman answered. Her black hair was cut short, sprinkled with
silver highlights. “Mrs. Havarro?”
“You must be Miss Hagan, please, come in.” She opened the door wider, stepping back,
beckoning her guest into the entrance foyer. “You may call me Isabella.”
“Please, call me Sarah.” She stepped inside. “Thank you for taking my phone call this
morning, for seeing me on such short notice.”
The tiny reception hall opened into a comfortable living room. Two large soft beige
sofas sat across from one another in front of a small stone fireplace. A glass coffee
table stood between them and a tea set rested in the center of it. Isabella took Sarah’s
jacket. She laid it carefully across a chair arm.
“Would you like a cup of peppermint tea? I just brewed it.” Isabella motioned Sarah
to sit across from her. She poured the tea into small china cups. “I enjoy tea in
the afternoon. It gives me a moment to sit down and relax before my husband comes
home from work.”
“You have a lovely home.” Sarah sipped the warm, refreshing liquid offered to her.
“Mrs. Havarro. Isabella. As you know I have been seeing Carlos for some months now.
We have made a great deal of progress.”
“I know. When I visit him I see the changes in him. He respects you very much.” She
had a quizzical look in her eyes, wondering why Sarah had asked to see her.
“Well, for the last few weeks, he hasn’t come to his sessions. I haven’t been able
to reach him and I’m concerned.”
“Oh? I didn’t know. I have seen him. He seems fine.” She placed her cup and saucer
on the table. “He is working. He is more settled at the half-way house.” She smiled
an embarrassed smile. “I wish he would come home, but he and his father have some
trouble.”
“Yes, I know.” She looked down at her lap then met the older woman’s eyes. “My concern
is that he might be drifting back to some of his old habits.”
“No. I am sure he is not.”
They heard the front door open. A tall, handsome, gray-haired man entered the room.
He wore a dark suit and carried a briefcase.
Isabella looked frightened. “Fernando, you are home early.” She gestured toward Sarah.
“This is Sarah Hagan. Sarah, please meet my husband.” Isabella’s voice quivered slightly.
“Fernando, she is here to talk about Carlos.”
Violently, he slammed the briefcase into the chair by the door. “What has your miserable
son done now?”
Sarah spoke quickly, “Nothing, Mr. Havarro. I just wanted to make a family visit.
I’m his therapist.”
“Therapist, that bum needs jail.” He turned, stomping from the room.
“I’m so sorry Miss Hagan.” Unshed tears glistened in her eyes. “My husband and Carlos
don’t get along.” She stood. “It might be best if you left now. It upsets him to talk
about Carlos.” She crossed in front of Sarah, making her way toward the front door.
Sarah rose. She picked up her bag and jacket then followed Carlos’ mother.
“I’m sorry too, Isabella. I hope I haven’t caused you any trouble.” She stopped. “When
you hear from Carlos, please tell him to contact me.” Stepping through the door onto
the porch, she heard the sound of the latch behind her.
#
“Sarah, he’s here.” Maggie whispered as she disappeared behind the door.
Sarah rose stiffly from her chair as he entered her office. “Hello Carlos. Good of
you to show up today.” Her fingers rested gently on
her desk, but her posture showed her displeasure.
“I’m sorry. I know I should have called but I’ve been thinking. I didn’t want to have
any outside influences.” He looked down at his shoes. “Even yours.”
She motioned him to the chair across from her. She sat down, crossing her arms. “You
could have called, Carlos. I thought we were friends.”
“Sarah, we are friends. You are more than a friend to me. You have a great deal of
influence on what I do.” He slouched in the chair. “I needed to make a decision on
my own.” He crossed his arms over his chest to match her. “And I did.”
She knew he was talking about his gang. Leaning forward, she placed her elbows on
her desk, looking directly into his dark eyes. “What decision?”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m here. That’s all that’s important. I won’t disappear again.
I’ve finally truly realized that I’ve wasted so much of my life already. I regret
it but I can’t change the past. What I can change is the future. I tried to talk to
my dad again. He threw me out of the house and told me I was nothing but a bum. It
was right then I realized I am not a bum. Not anymore. I’m so much more than he ever
saw. Than anybody ever saw. Nobody before you and Colleen have ever recognized anything
good in me. In school, all the counselors did was tell me I’d never amount to more
than a stupid crook. I don’t blame them. I know I scared them. Hell, I wanted to scare
them. But this time, Sarah, when the old man threw me out, I didn’t want to go to
the gang. I didn’t want to get drunk. I wanted to come to you. You have shown me that
there is so much more out there than what I’ve known. You’ve shown me that I can honestly
find myself and when I die, I am capable of leaving something beautiful behind, not
just chaos and pain.
“I won’t lie. Sometimes I’m scared to death with my subconscious and what’s going
on, the changes in me. But because of this guy, this
vamp, this figment of my weird mind, I’ve found strength within myself. I’ve found
a purpose. And that purpose is to be walking that straight line. And I’m committed.
If I give it a hundred and ten percent, how can I fail?” He was silent for a moment.
Suddenly he stood to cross the room. As he reached the recliner, he turned to face
her. “I mean it.”
“I’m very proud of you. You’re quite a man already.” She picked up the recorder.
“Yes,” he looked at her for a long moment. “Yes, and I promise you, this is only the
beginning.” Suddenly he grinned, flopping down on the beige leather chair once again
the familiar Carlos she knew so well. “Ready to see what the vamp has in store for
us today?”
Sarah felt confused but decided that she would think about it later. She was relieved
and somehow nervously excited to have him back. Sitting down, she turned on the recorder.
“Okay Carlos, close your eyes and begin to focus on your breath.”
#
CARLOS HAVARRO, transcript, session 10, April 30
I made my decision. When my troop returned to court, I would beg my leave of the Emperor
to make my way to England. I could not forget Richard’s description of a more advanced
group of undead. I knew I had to go to them. I had so much to learn about my new life
and in England, I would find my teachers.
When we returned to Madrid, Charles was still at odds with the English King. As I
told you, King Henry called upon Charles to stand for him in his ‘Great Matter’, as
it was called. Remember, Henry decided he and Katherine were not really married because
she had been married to his brother before him. It was a long story, but the truth
was that Henry needed a son to succeed him and Katherine had delivered only a daughter.
Katherine was past a time when she could be delivered
of another child. The King decided he needed a younger, more fertile woman. Such a
woman was Ann Boleyn. Young and lively, she had a strong court background and led
the man a merry chase. She would not bed him if he did not marry her. So, Henry decided
to be rid of Katherine, annul their marriage, and send her to a convent. He was audacious
enough to actually think Charles would step in to help him. Charles was a not only
her nephew but a staunch Catholic. The Pope had refused the annulment. Charles would
not stand against the Holy See.
It was Charles’ decision to send an emissary to Henry to demand Henry stay his actions.
When I heard of the mission, I begged to be allowed to travel with them. It was a
sure way to reach London and the coven of the Catacombs. Charles, knowing I was loyal
to him and would do all that he asked, granted his permission for me to go.
My decision was bittersweet. I had come to know Madrid as my home. I was accepted
and honored by the Emperor and his court and I was able to walk among the humans of
Spain without their recognizing what I was. I had not the insight as to my fate in
England yet I was deeply aware that I must learn about my kind, about the others like
me. The stories told by Richard and Gabriela had whet my appetite.