Authors: John Steakley
Out of touch, I suppose. Where you been posted? Were you a starprobe or something? asked Yin with a laugh. No replied Felix seriously. Nothing like that. What were you? asked Bolov, equally serious, A civilian. There was a long silence while they stared again. In a hushed voice, Bolov finally broke the silence. Felix, he asked slowly, how long have you been in the fleet? Nine months. Nine months? Youre a greener? asked Yin, amazed. Whats that? He means, added Obel quickly, is this your first Drop? Felix nodded, This is it, Holy shit, breathed a stunned Bolov. On Banshee. But. . . but youre a scout. How could you be a scout? Obel wanted to know. I just drew it. I dont believe it, said Obel with finality. That sort of thing just doesnt happen. It might, suggested Bolov quietly. They needed a lot of people fast. This is a fullscale war, after all. But scout duty? wailed Obel. For a man with less than a year? A greener? How long have you guys been in? Eight years, said Obel. Nine years, said Bolov, Five years, said Yin. It was Felixs turn to be amazed. You mean this is. . . your career? Hell, yes, said Obel. So youve. . . done this before? Fought before? asked Yin. Sure we have. Fought the Barmi on Silo. And the Zees. Dont forget them, added Bolov. How could I, replied Yin dryly. Hell, blurted Obel, importantly. My very first Drop was Ervis Three .. But you were backup then. . . Yeah, yeah, drawled Yin. We know youve been around. Weve all been around, Had to have. Thats why were alive and talking about it said Obel. You cant match experience. Felix has, replied Yin with a short laugh. So far, admitted Bolov, its incredible. Why is that? asked Felix. Felix, you ask around. I bet you a months credits that youre the only greener still alive. Id bet more than that, muttered Obel. And as a lousy scout, too. I still dont see how he got stuck with that. Maybe he volunteered, offered Yin. Hes not that stupid, replied Obel. Maybe he wants to be a hero, returned Yin. Some do. I bet he did volunteer. Bet he didnt, replied Obel. Which is it, Felix? asked Bolov. Are you stupid. . .? . . . Or just unlucky. . . Felix smiled slightly to himself. I didnt volunteer for anything. You volunteered for the goddamn war, didnt you? prompted Bolov. Yes. That was your first mistake, said Bolov. Maybe your last, added Obel. Whyd you do it? You from Earth, huh? Yeah, added Yin. Your family in South America? You here to get revenge? Felix stared, taken back. No, he said at last. Im not from Earth. Yeah? asked Obel. Then why did you sign up? Felix stared at him, hesitant. Bolov saved him. It doesnt matter now, he said. Hes here now. Hes on Banshee, a scout, and fighting. Fighting damn good, too. A lousy scout, mused Obel. A greener scout. Do you know where that puts you on the stat? at the very … Cut that, Obel, growled Bolov. That wont help anything. I figure hes got a right to know. Oh, is that what you figure? Shaddup. No, said Felix, resigned to it all. May as well give it to me. Its the survival table, Felix, said Yin in a quiet voice. And…? And. . .? Bolov was hesitant. Look, Felix, its like this: They have this scale that gives the odds for survival for any given warrior on any particular Drop. They change for each Drop. Like, for a greener warrior its a four. Four what… Four for ten, offered Obel. Bolov sighed. It means that there are four chances out of ten that hell make it. A statistical survival rate of 40 percent. Felix couldnt believe his ears. You mean to say that only 40 percent survive their first Drop? If its a major Drop, added Obel quickly. You know, an assault Drop. Look, Felix, explained Bolov. There are two kinds of Drops; Major, an assault Drop. That means youre one of the first to hit. Then theres the Minor, or backup. The scale Im talking about depends on it being a major with a casualty rate of at least 10 percent, and with all that being so, a greener warrior would be four on the scale if it was first. Course, it changes with each Drop, offered Yin. Year, agreed Bolov. It gets better. Second drop rates a six. Sixty percent chance. Third is seven. Fourth is as bad as the first, though. Its four, too. Overconfidence sets in, added Obel. Know-it-alls that figure it cant happen to them just because it hasnt yet. Forget to duck. Yeah, said Bolov, continuing. Anyway, its. . . uh, four for the first, six for the second, seven for the third, back to four for the fourth back to seven for fifth. Sixth, seventh and eighth are the best. Theyre all eight. Then it starts down again. Ninth is seven. Tenth is only five. You get tired, you know? Anyway it stops at ten. Nobodys ever made more than ten major Drops. And most Drops arent majors, Yin reminded him. Most are just backups. Only one out of seven are majors because they rotate you that way. The odds are a lot better on backups. Nine for vets. Even greeners get eight. Thats why greeners should always drop backups first, offered Bolov. You get experience that way which helps you later on. It works out better, somehow. I dont really understand it all. But say youre like us and you do seven backups before your first major. The stat says you then get the same rating as if it were really your third major. You get a seven. See? Vaguely, replied Felix, understanding a little. How many Drops have you made, Bolov? Me? Eighteen. But only three were rated as major and, really, only two of them were really bad. For the other fifteen, I was rotated to the rear where its a hell of a lot safer. And theres lots more warriors around you, most times. Course, none of em were this Banshee shit. So your odds would be. . .? Im at eight, now. We all are. Weve got experience, the know-how, plus we get lots of rest. The more rest you get, the less chance of battle fatigue, added Obel. Hmm, said Felix, thinking aloud. Then Im at four. Uh, no, replied Bolov, a trifle embarrassed. You dropped a scout. Thats different. Thats worse, said Obel. A lot worse, added Yin. Scouts never get better than six, no matter what. And since youre also a greener … So Im a what? Youre a one. What? One, Felix, Bolov said tiredly, sadly, as if pronouncing sentence. Thats one out of ten. A ten percent chance. Felix stared at him, not speaking. You should never have been Dropped as a scout your first time, added Bolov hurriedly, consoling. Not as a greener, agreed Obel. You were robbed, insisted Yin. Nobody said anything for awhile after that. Occasionally the other three would stare at Felix, awaiting some reaction. But Felix was long past reacting to any of it. Long past lots of things, he thought. And then the line had brought them to the Can. There were only three spaces. Felix waited while the other three made Connection. And, just as he was about to step up. Forest appeared beside him. Youre just now making Connection? she asked, surprised It was a long line. You dont have to wait in line. Youre a scout. You get priority. She stepped in front of the warrior behind Felix and made Connection. Being a scout is a lot different from being a warrior, my friend. Felix sighed, made Connection beside her. Ive heard that, he said in a tired voice and watched his dials rise with the surge of power. He found that he could no longer finish the stick of nutrite he had started chewing. He spit it into the tube. He rinsed his mouth out with water and spit that out too. Beside him, Forest was making noisy chewing sounds. I see you met our little trio, she said after a particularly loud swallow. Who? Bolov, Yin and Obel, she said with a slight belch. What did they tell you? Odds. Aw, shit, she muttered. What did they say? They said I was a one for ten. Were they right? Well, yeah, she replied reluctantly. Did that get to you? Probably. Well, I can see how it could. But Felix, thats just a probability scale, you know, not a death sentence. It doesnt have your name on it. For one thing, it assumes average ability, average reflexes. And youre a lot quicker than that. Besides, youve already beat worse odds than that just by being here. You think so? I know so. So do you. Remember A Team? Two hundred and four Dropped, only you survived. As a scout, yet. Far as I know, thats a first. Youre some kind of record. Some kind. . . he said, distantly. Never mind that stuff. What else did they have to talk about? He turned and looked at her. They talked about you, as a matter of fact. About your athletic career. The armored. ... Olympics, she prompted. The Armored Olympic Trials. Yes. They seem to think youre pretty good. I am. Damn good. One of the best. They think youre the best theyve ever seen. I probably am at that. They seem to think that you should have won that thing. One of them thought youd been cheated. Were you cheated? I was beaten. Badly. Cheated, huh? She laughed softly, a pleasant sound. What a lovely thought. Felix, I was never really in it. He slaughtered me. He? Kent, Nathan Kent. Youve probably heard of him. No, I havent. Really? Im surprised. Hes quite famous. Not just on Earth, either. Hes recognized on sight on about a dozen planets, and his name is well known on about two dozen more. People care about him that arent even sports fans. Everybodys Hero, hes called. Everybodys Hero? A warrior with corporals markings appeared beside them. Whats all this about a hero? asked a feminine voice. Whos a hero? Forest laughed. What for, Lohman? You volunteering? Not a chance, replied Lohman. She sat down on the sand in front of them. Lohman, meet Felix. Howdy, Felix. How do you do? So whos the hero? We were talking about Kent, said Forest. Oh, yeah, responded Lohman dryly. Hes a hero, all right. Everybodys Hero. Felix found himself drifting, wanting to be alone. But he was determined to stay and try. I suppose every war needs heroes, he offered. Especially this one, said Forest and Lohman, in unison. Then they looked at each other and laughed. Felix managed a small grin. Well, we better take care of him. Cant lose him now, he said. Lohman laughed again at this, but her laughter had an edge of bitterness to it. Lose him? How? Hell never even see an ant. Felix looked at her. I beg your pardon? he asked Cant lose him, said Lohman sarcastically. Not the darling of good old Earth. Hell, if something happens to Kent, the people back home are liable to figure out that we arent invincible like the politicians have been telling them. No. Theyll be real careful with Kent. Treat him like a newborn baby, instead of a warrior. Thats not fair, Lohman, said Forest quickly. Hes doing his part. Really? By staging more phony demonstrations while people are getting killed? Hes not a warrior anymore. Hes a joke. He could tear you in half with ten percent power, said Forest evenly. Sure he could, snapped Lohman, undismayed. He could wipe me out. But ants are the enemy. Whats he done to them? Where do you think he is right now? Hes so far away, he couldnt see Banshee with a starprobe. I dont see why it should bother you, said Forest. Oh yeah? retorted Lohman. Then, suddenly, her voice became gentle. Well, what Id like to know is why it doesnt bother you, Forest. You did pretty well yourself, but all it gets you is the dirty jobs. Doesnt it bother you? Dont you ever wonder why youre stuck here about to die when the warrior with the best odds for survival in the Fleet will never get a bruise? Just because somebody decided he was gonna be our symbol? Somebody didnt decide, everybody decided. Or maybe he decided it. He is the best, you know. I know, snapped Lohman. Thats the point. Lohman, asked Forest patiently. Do you really think he has any choice about where hes sent? Do you really think hes a coward? No, of course not. But just the same. Id like to see him make a Drop. Suppose he did. We could all say: Lookee there, hes just a regular warrior like the rest of us. Would you like that? Yes. Would you? Would you really? I said, yes, snapped Lohman. Fine, said Forest, sitting up straighter. Felix noticed that she had become quite animated all of a sudden. So youd be happy for a while. But what if he bought it? What then? That would be pretty bad, wouldnt it? Of course it would be bad. I wouldnt want. ... Youre goddamn right you wouldnt, retorted Forest with a growing fervor. Felix looked at her. And you know why, too, Lohman. Because hes not like everyone else and you know it. Hes not. He is a symbol. Hes everybodys symbol. And more. Its like. . . hes the kind of thing that we all. . . thats all of us put together to. ... Hes the best of us, said Felix, reciting. The best of our best, the best that each of us will ever build or ever love. So pray for this Guardian of our growth and choose him well, for if he be not truly blessed, then our designs are surely frivolous and our future but a tragic waste of hope.