Read Arsenic For Tea: A Murder Most Unladylike Mystery (A Wells and Wong Mystery) Online
Authors: Robin Stevens
‘Now!’ cried Daisy, breaking into my thoughts. ‘We all agree that the murderer took poison from the hall cupboard, put some in a bit of paper and brought it into the dining room like that, yes?’
I shivered. I could just imagine it – the murderer pausing in front of the hall cupboard, and a horrible idea creeping into their head. They would have been quite safe from suspicion too – I’ve seen inside that cupboard, and it’s so full of useful things, like string and boot-black and clothes brushes, that they could simply have pretended to be looking for something else if they were caught there.
‘So,’ said Daisy. ‘Now let’s see just how easy it is to get poison from a bit of paper into a cup of tea. For this bit we shan’t need the doll’s house. We’ll recreate it ourselves. My bedside table can be the tea table, and we’ll use that tooth mug as the cup. You three go and stand round it, and I’ll sit on Hazel’s bed, just like Mr Curtis in his chair. Hazel, rip out a bit of your casebook and crumple it up to be the paper filled with poison, and we’re ready.’
I was glad that I didn’t have to play the part of the murder victim this time, the way I did for our last case. It felt too dangerous, as though I were asking to be murdered myself.
‘I want you to choose someone to be the murderer. Quietly, so I can’t hear you. Then I want the murderer to pick a moment to open the paper over the cup and pretend to tip poison in. As soon as you’ve done that, shout – and let’s see if you can manage it without me noticing. Are you ready?’
The three of us got into a huddle beside the table.
‘Who does it?’ hissed Kitty. ‘Me? I’m sure I could do it – do let me, it’s most awful fun—’
‘No,’ I whispered back. Beanie was wriggling desperately, eyes wide, and I could tell that she was itching to do something important. ‘Let Beanie.’
‘Me?’ gasped Beanie. ‘Oh,
goody
!’
‘
Do
keep it down,’ said Daisy from my bed – or rather, Mr Curtis’s chair. ‘I’m trying to hum, but you’re nearly drowning me out.’
‘Yes, you!’ I whispered. ‘You can do it! I know you can! And think, you’d be able to say that you’d tricked Daisy!’
‘Oh, I don’t think I like the sound of that,’ said Beanie unhappily. ‘It’s not very nice. Are you sure . . .? Oh – oh, all right. Don’t pinch me, Kitty. I’ll try.’
‘We’re ready,’ I called over to Daisy. Then Kitty and I began to jostle and elbow each other and Beanie; we reached across the little table, using both hands to scoop up imaginary cream buns and slices of cake. It was surprisingly good fun, and even Beanie, who squeaked at first, got quite carried away. The tooth mug was just by Kitty’s hip, and I was so busy fighting with her over a particularly delicious muffin, dripping with butter (I wouldn’t have minded a real muffin or two, if it came to it), that I hardly noticed the moment when Beanie unrolled the little piece of paper in her fist and held it over the mug.
Daisy kept on humming, and when we turned to her a minute later she looked cross. ‘Haven’t you done it yet?’ she asked.
‘I
have
!’ cried Beanie. ‘Ooh, didn’t you see me? How exciting! It was quite easy . . . Oh dear, I’ve just pretended to
murder
someone.’
‘Don’t worry, Beans.’ said Kitty, patting her comfortingly on the shoulder. ‘You did excellently well. It wasn’t real, you know.’
‘Did you really do it?’ asked Daisy. ‘Heavens! Then it
must
have been easy. Do you know, I didn’t see a thing. There was such a scrum.’
‘And I hardly noticed either,’ I put in, ‘even though I knew it was going to happen. So we’ve proved that it isn’t odd at all that none of the other people noticed the poison going in the cup.’
‘This is all going extremely well,’ said Daisy, satisfied. She stood up and went over to the doll’s house. ‘Now, the next step is to really think back to that crucial moment, and for this we
do
need the house. Let’s put all the suspects in the places they were on Saturday afternoon. This ugly doll is Mr Curtis, and this little one can be Stephen. We don’t need dolls for the three of you, because it’s quite obvious that you were standing next to me by the door into the hall.’
We all crouched round the doll’s house together. It was very strange – like a silly childish game but at the same time deadly serious. The Mr Curtis doll (who really was hideous) went in the chair, away from the tea table. Daisy put Chapman back against the wall, on the other side of the room from Mr Curtis. Then we positioned Lord and Lady Hastings, Uncle Felix, Bertie, Stephen and Aunt Saskia around the tea table, just where they had all been.
‘Chatter chatter chatter,’ said Daisy, bouncing the Bertie doll up and down in her hand. ‘Scuffle scuffle – Aunt Saskia goes for the tarts . . .’ She made Aunt Saskia doll lunge for them, and I nearly laughed. ‘Mummy says, “I’ll be Mother,” but everyone ignores her’ – Kitty made the Lady Hastings doll wobble – ‘then she says, “Someone fetch Mr Curtis a cup of tea,” and then—’
I suddenly had a rush of memory – of Lord Hastings’ round red face, and the expression on it, and of his hand
holding out a teacup
.
I was holding Lord Hastings doll, his little face as jolly as it usually is in real life. But it hadn’t been jolly then. His expression had been . . . sly, odd, as though he had done something wrong, and he knew it. I didn’t want it to be true, but I knew I had to be honest about what I’d seen.
‘Then Lord Hastings hands a cup of tea to Mr Curtis, and he drinks it,’ I said.
The Bertie doll froze. Daisy had gone quite still.
‘Ugh!’ said Beanie in a little doll voice, prodding Mr Curtis. ‘This tea tastes foul!’
We all looked at her, and I felt quite heart-sick. ‘He did say that!’ she told us defensively. ‘I was only remembering.’
‘I know he did,’ said Daisy, jumping back into life. ‘I— Excellent memory. And Hazel. Yes. You too. What a . . . What I mean to say is—’
It was one of the few times I had ever seen Daisy stumbling.
‘But perhaps the poison was already in the cup by then,’ she said at last, blinking. ‘Someone else at the table must have put it in and then handed the cup to Daddy to give to Mr Curtis.’
‘Lord Hastings did look funny, though,’ said Beanie. ‘All shifty, like he’d been naughty.’
I knew she was telling the truth – I remembered it too – but all the same I suddenly wanted to shake her. How could she not see what this meant for Daisy?
A heavy feeling had settled on my chest. I really and truly liked Lord Hastings, even if he did tell dreadful jokes. He was kind, and he was nice to me, and he was Daisy’s father. I didn’t want him to have killed horrible Mr Curtis. But there it was. We had discovered that he had handed Mr Curtis the cup of tea that had killed him.
‘Well,’ said Daisy, and her voice was very tight. I saw her hands clench in her lap. ‘Well . . . it . . . I tell you, it simply
must
have been someone else who gave it to him to pass on. Daddy knows perfectly well not to murder his own guests, however rude they are. Look – what about Chapman? Hazel, you said yourself that he’d been behaving oddly. Just look where he’s standing. He would have been able to see the table, and people’s hands. He must have seen something – which means that we must go and speak to him. He’ll be able to rule Daddy out. If Daddy
was
looking shifty, I’m quite sure it was for another reason altogether.’
I could hear the relief in her voice as she said it, but I was not so sure. I was terribly afraid that, if Daisy spoke to Chapman, she was not likely to enjoy what she heard.
At first, Chapman proved difficult to find. ‘He ought to be around here somewhere,’ said Daisy crossly, popping in and out of doorways on the first floor like a jack-in-the-box. ‘Oh! Hello, Chapman!’
Chapman was in Lord Hastings’ bedroom, standing on wobbly tiptoes at the window and dusting. He jumped at Daisy’s voice, and the duster fell out of his hand and clattered on the floor.
‘Hello, Chapman,’ said Daisy. ‘How are you?’
‘Very well, Miss Daisy,’ he replied automatically.
‘We want to ask you a question,’ said Daisy. ‘It’s about Mr Curtis.’
Chapman swayed, his face creasing up as though he had been hurt – he looked just as frightened as he had in the kitchens earlier. ‘Who else have you been talking to?’ he cried. ‘What have they said?’
‘Why, no one!’ said Daisy. ‘It’s only that Daddy’s been in such a funny mood since . . . you know – and I’m terribly worried that he’s got a silly idea in his head that he had something to do with what happened. Of course, I know he didn’t! You must have seen it – can’t you reassure him?’
Chapman went bone-white. He was shaking too; he looked as if he were about to break apart.
‘I didn’t . . . see . . . anything,’ he whispered. ‘Not a thing! I didn’t look and I couldn’t have seen.’
Daisy looked puzzled. ‘But, Chapman, don’t be so silly! You must have!’
‘I didn’t . . . see . . . anything,’ Chapman repeated, ‘and if I did – well, that man was purely wicked. Sometimes the truth doesn’t make things better. Now, out of this room at once.’
Daisy flushed with annoyance. ‘It’s not fair of you, Chapman!’ she cried.
‘I’m not saying anything more,’ said Chapman resolutely. ‘Go on, go away. I’ve got work to do.’
Daisy went pink, then white, then pink again, and she turned and rushed out of the room.
We hurried after her, but we were barely halfway across the first-floor landing when Lord Hastings himself came panting up the main stairs, exactly as though he had been summoned. He gave us all a distracted wave, then darted off into his bedroom.
‘Ah, Chapman!’ we heard him say. ‘Just the man I wanted to see.’
Daisy paused. Then she turned to me. ‘Quick!’ she hissed. ‘We have to listen in!’
‘Ought we to?’ asked Beanie in concern.
‘Of course not,’ said Daisy. ‘But I’ve told you before, that’s the point of detection.’
She crept closer, right up to the door – which, in his hurry, Lord Hastings had not managed to close properly. I wanted to back away again, but Daisy’s hand was round my wrist, and I knew I had to stay, to hear what she was about to hear.
‘. . . wanted to, er, clear up any misconceptions that might have . . . that is . . . Chapman, old thing, what I’m trying to say is that, if you
did
see anything at the tea that might have given you cause for concern, anything that I—’
‘It never happened, sir,’ said Chapman. ‘There was nothing to see.’
‘Yes!’ said Lord Hastings, his voice warm with relief. ‘That’s it exactly. Nothing happened. Nothing to see. And that’s what you’ll say, should anyone ask?’
‘That is what I will say, sir.’
‘Good man. Excellent man! That’s . . . It’s above and beyond, Chapman, simply above and beyond everything. This shan’t be forgotten.’
‘Sir, if I may, I shall forget it immediately,’ said Chapman. ‘May I go, sir?’
We all jumped back automatically; all except Daisy. She simply stood there, eyes blank.
‘
Hide!
’ I hissed, because someone had to do
something
, and Daisy seemed to have frozen up completely.
We all dived in different directions, and I ended up in the alcove behind the stuffed owl, right arm linked with Daisy’s and dizzily breathing in dust from the curtain.
Lord Hastings’ heavy feet went thundering across the landing, and then down the stairs – followed, a few moments later, by Chapman’s soft, precise steps. We were alone.
I thought again about what we had just heard: Lord Hastings asking for Chapman’s help, making sure that he didn’t tell anyone what he had seen. It fitted – horribly – with our re-creation. Had Chapman seen Lord Hastings slipping something into the cup before he handed it to Mr Curtis? I did not want it to be true, but what else was I to think?
‘Daisy,’ I said, thickly because of my heart and the curtains, ‘your father—’
‘Oh, I know,’ Daisy whispered, coming back to herself with a twitch. Her voice was falsely bright. I could tell that she had decided to keep on pretending. ‘The old silly’s done something, and he doesn’t want to be found out. Isn’t Chapman a brick?’
‘But—’
‘Oh goodness,’ said Daisy. ‘It won’t be about the
murder
, Hazel! Don’t be a chump. I’ve said before, Daddy wouldn’t do it!’
I realized that Daisy’s incredible calm about the case was really just another front. She could pretend to suspect her brother, and her mother, and her uncle – and I don’t think she even minded about suspecting her great-aunt. But she was only playing when it came to Bertie and Lady Hastings and Uncle Felix; she wouldn’t even play about her father. There were some thoughts that she refused to let in – and although I was achingly sorry for her as a friend, as a detective I knew that she simply had to face up to them. Daisy, I thought to myself, was not going to ruin
this
case because she didn’t like the way it was going.
As I decided that, something pinged loose inside me, like a button popping off a tight skirt. I took hold of Daisy’s shoulders and pulled her round to face me.
‘Yes he would!’ I cried. ‘He would just as much as anyone! We know he didn’t like Mr Curtis, and he knew about Mr Curtis and your mother – we saw him arguing with Mr Curtis yesterday morning. And I
saw
him, Daisy. I saw him hand the cup of tea to Mr Curtis! He’s the most likely of anyone to be the murderer! I didn’t want to believe it – but now, after what we heard, we have to!’
Daisy opened her mouth. There was an angry flush across her cheeks. ‘How dare you, Hazel!’ she said.
‘I’m your Vice-President!’ I said. ‘I have to say it – no one else will! And if you don’t listen to me, you’re not being a proper Detective Society President!’
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew that I had said something very wrong.
‘Get out of my way,’ hissed Daisy. ‘Take your hands off me.’
‘But don’t you know—’
‘OF COURSE I KNOW, YOU IDIOT!’ she shrieked. ‘WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE LET ME PRETEND?’
She threw herself at me. I staggered, the curtain ripped and I fell backwards, heavily, onto the landing, Daisy half on top of me.
‘I’m going to the nursery,’ she said. ‘
Don’t
bother to follow me.’ Then she scrambled to her feet and dashed away up the stairs, golden plaits bouncing behind her.