Aryn's Desire: A BOLD Security Novel (Finding Submission Book 1) (4 page)

Dex is staring at me intently like I'm supposed to get something, some inside joke.
 

Master…

I let the word roll around in my brain.

She’s always serving me, and Dex. She is always cleaning up, seeking permission…

“Oh, my, god.” I look at Dex then Raine and then back to Dex. “For real?” I ask and he nods with a smirk of satisfaction. “Since when?”
 

“Since the Nashville tour stop.”

I give him a quizzical look.
 

“Do you remember that night, in Nashville, when we went out, without you?”

“Uh, yeah.” I nod.
 

“Well, we went out with Derek and Dacotah. They took us to a club.”
 

I’m pretty sure my face portrays shock, confusion, curiosity and a whole lot more that I can’t put my finger on at the moment. “So what, you went to the club and just decided that she was going to be what? Your slave?”
 

“Not exactly,” Dex answers. “But it opened our eyes to something we both already kind of knew we wanted. Derek made himself available to help us. When we were in Vegas-”
 

“When you got married without telling anyone,” I interrupt with a grumble and both of them laugh.
 

“Yeah, that. We were with Derek and Dacotah that whole week. We spent the week further discussing what we wanted from a relationship and well, a whole lot more.”
 

“I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know what that ‘whole lot more’ is. But why have you never told me this before?” I ask, a little hurt at the fact that I know so much about them, but now I feel like I knew nothing all this time.
 

“We honestly haven’t told anyone,” Raine chimes in. “Not that we didn’t want to, but…well, the lifestyle, while getting better, isn’t widely accepted. Not to mention the fact that things were just getting started between us while we were on tour and we’re still working on it.” She smiles sweetly at Dex who returns the smile and then he gestures for her to come to him. She does so dutifully and stands next to him. He wraps his arm around her and she melts at his touch.
 

Watching them now and knowing that they have that kind of dynamic, it all makes perfect sense. The way she blossoms under his praise and even sometimes when he gets a little stern with her, though those times seem rare.
 

“How did you know you wanted that kind of relationship?” I ask, but the question isn’t directed at either one of them, just a general question.
 

It’s Raine who answers, “I’ve always felt submissive, though I never imagined the dynamic that we have being what I would want.”
 

“What kind of dynamic is that?” I feel like I’ve put these two in the spotlight, but I am overly curious about it.
 

“Master and slave,” Dex says succinctly.

FIVE

“EVERY RELATIONSHIP IS different. While we have that dynamic, some people are just Dominant and submissive,” Dex adds.
 

“Isn’t that the same thing?” I ask.
 

He smiles before responding, “In some ways, yes. In other ways, no. Raine submits to me in almost all things, all aspects of her life, versus some people who have more of a ‘bedroom’,” Yes, he used air quotes, “dynamic.”
 

“Wow,” I breathe.
 

Everything they’ve just told me is a lot to take in, but the idea intrigues me. Enough so that without any prompting from me, touching or otherwise, my cock grows hard.
 

“It’s a bit overwhelming when you first hear about it, or even talk about it, but I’m not sure how I ever lived without it,” Dex says as he squeezes Raine’s arm gently, reassuring her and me that he is referring to her.
 

“Since you seem so bored with women, Beck, have you ever considered something like this?” Raine asks and I shake my head.

“Maybe you should,” Dex says with a smirk. “It’s certainly something to think about.”
 

“I don’t know. I’m not necessarily into giving pain or receiving it.”
 

Raine shakes her head. “You don’t have to be. BDSM isn’t about pain, it’s about pleasure and giving yourself over to someone you trust. Whether as a Top or a bottom.”

“I could never submit to anyone,” I say.
 

Dex smirks, “You’d be surprised. There are a lot of men and women who have high profile, high powered jobs that enjoy submitting to someone. Then there are some Tops that have the opposite and often find relief by dominating someone. But your job doesn’t make you who you are, it’s how you feel inside. So unless you’ve got some type of inclination toward one or the other, you can’t really know for sure.”
 

I shudder. “But pain?”
 

Raine chuckles, “Master?”
 

It’s weird hearing that come from her mouth, but it spills free so naturally that I’m not sure how I could have missed the endearment in the past.
 

“Yes, my pet?”
 

“Can we show him?” she asks with a sweet look on her face.
 

Dex smiles at her and taps her on the nose. “That might be a good idea.” He adjusts himself and reaches into his pocket. I’m not exactly sure at first what he pulls out, but then he is at her necklace. He reveals a small key in his hand and uses it to unlock the necklace. A change in Raine overcomes her the instant the locket is unlocked and Dex removes it from around her neck. She becomes somber, almost, lowering her head and her body relaxes. “Play collar, t-shirt and shorts,” he says with a commanding tone in his soft voice.
 

“Yes, Master. Thank you, Master,” she says back to him before he releases her with a kiss on the cheek and she disappears.
 

I look at Dex. “What is that all about?”
 

Dex smiles at me. “That necklace is her collar, it’s complicated to explain, and probably more than you really need to know right now, but she has a different one that she wears when we’re playing. Normally though, she’d be naked, but…well, you know.” He smirks. “We won’t play tonight, but she may want to show you some things, or I might. It might sound weird, but I brought her into the playroom one time without changing her collar.” His voice dips as he continues, “Let’s just say, it’s a mindset thing for her. That night didn’t go so well.”
 

I am thoroughly confused by everything that Dex is telling me. It’s too much to take in and comprehend in one sitting, but I am curious about what’s going to happen as he leads me toward the infamous closed door. I realize that the door isn’t only closed, but locked too when Dex produces a key to unlock it. “I need you to remember to keep an open mind about what is beyond this door.”
 

“Oh believe me, my mind is wide open right now,” I tell him and he pushes the door open.
 

Without any prompting, lights flicker within the room and I step across the threshold.
 

“It looks like a gym,” I tell him as I take in a few different pieces of equipment, as well as a chest of drawers. There are a few implements hanging on the walls. Everything from floggers to whips, cuffs and a few more pervertables.
 

“It does, but I assure you, this is way more fun.”
 

“So it’s about sex?” I ask him as I look at many of the objects around the room.
 

“No, actually it’s not really about sex at all. In fact, Raine and I have never had sex in here.”
 

I turn to look at him. “You’ve got to be kidding? How could you not?”
 

He smiles. “That’s easy. Yes, when we play it turns me on unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before, but it isn’t about burying myself inside her. It’s about taking her to a place where she feels free, where I feel free. Believe it or not, we have some pretty vanilla sex, though it is amplified by the heightened sense of arousal we both feel after being in here, but there are many nights where we don’t come in here at all.”
 

“I’m not sure I want to know all of this about my best friend’s sex life,” I tease.
 

He chuckles. “Well, if it is something that truly interests you, then I suggest you read up on it. Derek can explain things much better than I can since he’s been doing this a lot longer. But it would be nice to bring you to the club rather than ditch you in the middle of Nashville all by yourself.”

SIX

I GUESS GOING to the club with them is better than Dex sneaking out on me. Though he’s done it before, it makes me crazy when I find out about it. It also challenges the trust I have in him when he does it. I have no doubt he’d come up with some convincing argument to ditch me in the middle of Nashville and have no remorse about it whatsoever.

Raine comes into the room, and Dex puts his finger to his lips to silence me. I watch as Raine goes to a cushion on the floor in the corner near the door and she kneels on it. “Watch,” Dex mouths to me and I watch with rapt attention as he approaches Raine. When he reaches her, his hand slides over her braided hair and she melts into his touch. He bends down, crouching next to her, and she leans against him between his legs. This is obviously a very intimate moment between them and as much as I want to look away, my eyes are super glued on them. “We will not be doing a full scene tonight, pet. We’re just going to show Beck a few things, alright?”
 

“Yes, Master.” Her voice is soft, yet confident. Maybe even a little disappointed, but I have no doubt that if I were in her shoes, I would be disappointed too. I imagine being in here is an adrenaline rush that once it starts, it can’t be undone easily.
 

The idea of being in her shoes sends a shiver up my spine, though not in repulsion, but rather desire. It’s unnerving to me, but I can’t help wondering if it is the scene that is about to happen or if it has something to do with Dex.
 

That thought pulls me up short and I do what I can to try and shake off the thought. I haven’t the faintest clue where all this shit is coming from all of a sudden. It’s not like Dex is a new friend. These thoughts have been a little more frequent since Raine came into his life. Everyone around me has been matched up it seems. Mouse and Peacock found each other, Addison ran away with Talon and Kyle, not to mention Rusty and Tori’s advancing relationship. They’ve moved in with each other, by the way.
 

Dex keeps talking to Raine, but I’ve tuned out what he is saying to her. He stands, extends his hand to her and she takes it, rising up off the floor and he ushers her over to me. “What would you like to see?” Dex asks me.
 

I shrug. “I’ve never seen any of this stuff before. I wouldn’t know where to start.”
 

Dex smiles. “Okay then, Raine, can you get the bench out, please?”
 

“Yes, Master.” She turns and goes over toward what looks like an old kneeling bench that you’d find in the front of churches for communion and she slides it across the wood floor, and it glides easily. Whether by wheels or by those furniture pads, I have no idea.
 

She centers it in the room and then stands next to it, lowering her head. “Thank you, pet,” Dex praises her and she lights up under his gentle praise. “Kneel,” he orders and she doesn’t hesitate for a nanosecond before turning and positioning herself on the lower step of the bench. If I didn’t know any better, by the way she places her hands, I’d think she was actually going to pray.
 

Dex turns to me. “Raine and I have consensual agreements on what will happen here tonight, as well as rules we follow when we’re in here alone. She also has a safeword.” I give him a quizzical look, silently asking him to explain. “Pet?”
 

“Yes, Master?”
 

“Will you explain to Beck your safeword. Why you have it and what happens if you use it?”
 

“Yes, Master.” She doesn’t move from her position on the bench and it only takes a moment for me to understand why- he didn’t grant her permission to do so. “My safeword is kit-kat, like the candy. I can use it any time Master pushes me too far or he causes me physical or emotional pain that I cannot tolerate. Or sometimes outside of the playroom, if Master has done something or said something that bothers me, hurts me, or otherwise causes emotional distress.” I’m beginning to understand, but she clarifies further by saying, “If my safeword is used, it means all activity stops and we discuss what happened to trigger me to use my safeword. If we’re in here, I am immediately removed from the situation I’m in and Master removes me from the room. Allowing me a chance to calm down and for us to discuss what happened. At which point, all playing stops for the night.”
 

“Have you ever used your safeword, pet?”
 

“Yes, Master,” she says with a sadness in her voice and Dex comforts her by stroking his hand along her back and she relaxes.
 

“Safewords are meant to keep all activities safe, sane and consensual. Also, words like no and stop are often used by parties involved without actually wanting the person to stop what they’re doing, or because it is a natural reaction. Having a safeword forces the submissive or bottom to make a conscious decision about stopping the scene. Oftentimes, and we’ve seen it many times, tears are shed and other emotions come out of a submissive during a scene. In fact, there are a couple of people at a club here in Los Angeles that cry their way into subspace.”
 

“What’s that?” I ask.
 

“That is something we can talk about later, but in short, it is a state of mind that a submissive can find within a scene, or by doing everyday things asked of them by their Top. It’s kind of like a euphoria, so to speak.”

“Uh, okay?” I say with hesitation. Safewords are not something I’ve heard of before, but then again, I didn’t show up here tonight with the intention of coming in here to their private dungeon, though that seems to be the wrong word for it. It’s anything but.