As I Close My Eyes (22 page)

The hostess sat us in a booth with tall wooden benches. A small oil candle created a romantic glow, and paper placemats with a map of Italy added a splash of color on the dark, rich patina of the table.

Our dinner was exceptional. I had lobster ravioli in a cream sauce and Ben ate pan-seared tuna with a mushroom risotto. When dessert was brought out, another waiter followed closely behind the first one, holding a silver tray with a small red velvet box in the middle of it. At first I thought he was going to another table, but instead came around to me and placed the box on my dessert plate.

“
Go ahead, open it,” said Ben, anxiously awaiting the reveal.

“
When did you do this? You were sitting here the entire time.”

“
I have my ways.”

I held the box in my hands for a moment and closed my eyes, again wondering how I deserved a man like Ben. When I opened it, two small diamond drop earrings were placed delicately inside. In the yellow light of the restaurant, a brilliant glimmer dazzled each earring.

“
Oh, Ben. I don’t know what to say. They’re beautiful. Thank you so much.” I pulled each one gently out of its place and admired it.

“
I’m glad you like them. I had the jeweler ship them to this restaurant earlier in the week. I was worried that one of the wait staff would give themselves a bonus with your gift.”

“
They’re truly amazing. I love you.”

“
I love you too,” Ben replied as he leaned in to kiss my very happy lips.

I immediately put them on and dug my fork into the round molten lava cake Ben ordered for us to share, although I didn’t see him touch it once. He was too busy staring at me.

Ben left a hefty tip for our waiter who had graciously held onto the diamonds until we arrived at the restaurant. After we got into the car, we made our way across the twenty-mile Chesapeake Bay Bridge. I was disappointed to learn that there wasn’t really anywhere to stop so I could properly show Ben how thankful I was for his present. We only had another four hours to go and a part of me wished it was longer, although I looked forward to finally making it to Cape May.

During the lull in our conversation, I wondered how alike the personalities of Caroline and myself were. It was hard to tell since I always dreamt through her. And this whole John thing had me very confused as well.

We arrived at the bed and breakfast around ten-thirty that night and I was so happy to get out of the car. Two weeks earlier while we searched for a place to stay, we found this little bed and breakfast on Jackson Street. Thankfully they had one room left. I wanted to stay there because I remembered that street from my dreams. We were only a block from the beach, but that didn’t matter to me since I wasn’t even sure we’d make it to the sand with all of the exploring I wanted to do in the town itself. I was more concerned about getting to the courthouse to look up old documents from the late 1800s so I could begin to piece more things together.
             

I was a little nervous about sleeping in the same bed as Ben because I had never slept with anyone before, well, not since I was five and scared of the monster in my closet. I made sure I brought cute matching pajamas and purposely didn’t take along my glasses. There were certain things I just wasn’t ready to show to Ben yet and the thought of how I usually looked at night with no make-up, glasses, old shorts, and unshaved legs was enough to scare anyone away - even Walter the dog.

It took days of physical preparation for this trip with all of the grooming and waxing. I was sure I had never felt more primed than the moment I appeared in the bathroom doorway wearing my skimpy Victoria’s Secret cami and boy shorts. Ben was already in bed reading a book. His mouth dropped open and the book fell onto his lap.

“
Wow!” he said as I approached the bed, pulling the covers back.

“
What? I always look like this before I go to sleep.” I couldn’t keep a straight face as I said that.

“
Get over here before I pounce on you.” He moved the book from his lap to the nightstand, but missed and it fell to the floor as he pulled me in close by my waist.

All he had on were boxers and it was nice to feel his strong bare chest against my overheated skin. He started kissing my shoulder and slowly pulled down the pink strap holding up my shirt, brushing his lips tenderly over my flesh. It wasn’t long before our clothes ended up on the floor and we moaned in unison at the delectable feeling of skin on skin, heartbeat on heartbeat.

His mouth moved seductively over me, and the fluttering sensation in my core spread throughout my entire being. Breathless from his caresses, I ran my hands over his defined abs and traced his sinewy muscles. I kissed his neck, reaching to whisper in his ear, “I love you.”

“
Love you, too,” he replied as he took possession of me, binding us together in a rhythm as old as time.

Ben moved slowly and I took in every sigh he made. Our bodies moved together in perfect concert. Above me, Ben tensed and sighed as he found release. Groaning, he kept moving, taking me with him to the pinnacle of passion until we fell silent. Depleted of all energy, we lay cuddled together, listening to the sound of our breathing as we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

There were several moments during the night when I woke up. But the sounds of the waves in the distance reminded me of the first night I spent in Robert’s house. Comforted, I returned to a slumber.

Chapter 21

We awoke to the sounds of the rest of the guests in the house leaving their rooms for the day. Doors slammed shut and we heard the family next to us trying to calm a screaming toddler in the hallway. Not the ideal way to enjoy a morning after the night Ben and I had.

It was eight a.m., and we were both feeling tired from the drive the day before. We took a shower together and used up enough water to fill one of the lakes we stopped at on our way to Cape May.

“
I could stay in here forever. Water definitely suits us,” said Ben while he ran his hands over my breasts with soothing body butter. The silky cream made his touch even more sensual. I kissed him and grabbed the hair on the top of his head tightly in my fingers, making lustful fists to suggest that I wanted more.

I just couldn’t get enough of him and I was glad he felt the same way. I explored his body and he traced tantalizing patterns on my tingling skin with his fingertips. Before long, we found ourselves making love for the second time in Cape May.

Even as we stood kissing, I couldn’t help but hope I wouldn’t display any dramatic flashbacks or dreams during my time with Ben. As much as I had oddly become anxious to be a part of the world of Robert and Caroline, it was nice to be normal for just one day. There was a lot of me that would give anything to go back to the carefree life I led as Danielle Grayson; simply going to work, boating on the lake, and enjoying my time with Eric, just as friends. Unfortunately, this was my life as it stood, twisted into two realities, and there wasn’t anything I could do to control it.

We wrapped each other in towels and got ready for our day.
             
Our first stop was the courthouse. I suspected I’d learn more than I probably wanted to. Separately, Ben and I searched through piles of maps and old historical land records from the Victorian era. We were seated in the dusty basement, which was filled with old books and odd artifacts like rusty carriage wheels and glass chandeliers caked in years of filth. I was sure no one bothered to venture down to the depths of the past in the last decade, by the looks of everything.

The basement was no reflection, however, on the gorgeous first floor of the building. Sunlight poured in from the tall windows on each wall and illuminated the brilliant ivory marble floors and made them glow. On the far wall, a group of paintings was displayed under track lighting. I moved closer to see if I recognized the buildings that had been painted with such mastery. The largest one was a portrayal of Congress Hall from the early 1900s, and next to it hung an exceptional depiction of one of the oldest homes in the Cape - the John Holmes House, circa 1755.

“
Dani, I think I found something,” said Ben from piles of books away.

I made my way over to him as quickly as I could and saw that he had discovered a map from 1878. At a quick glance, I spotted the same map I found in the library. Then Ben turned to another one from 1886, almost a decade later. More streets lined the city and many more homes had been erected. I again followed Jackson to Lafayette with my eyes, but saw that it now said C. Marcum in the box next to S. Bigsley. That had to mean Caroline Marcum, but why wasn’t there an R. Marcum anymore?

“
Wait, the map from 1878 says R. Marcum where I think Robert’s house is, but the one from 1886 only says C. Marcum. What do you think that means?” I asked Ben, not expecting an answer.

“
I don’t know. It’s probably nothing.” After two hours and dozens of photos, we retreated to an office on the first floor and copied the old pictures we found of Robert, Caroline, and everyone else I had come to know in my dreams.

“
They were all real,” I said to Ben as I set the first photo face down on the copier. I guess he didn’t know how to respond, because he didn’t say anything.

For the second time since Ben showed me the photo of him and I
-
or rather Caroline and Robert - I saw all of the other people I had met in my dreams come to life in real photos. “John, Robert, Rebecca ... they all lived at one time and I am dreaming about their lives. How is this possible?” I tried to keep my voice down to a whisper because I didn’t want to alarm anyone else working there at the time.

“
Shhhh. You can’t let anyone hear you. You sound like a crazy person. I mean, I know you’re not crazy, but to someone who doesn’t know what’s going on, you sound as though you should be committed,” said Ben, handing me another photo.

“
I know. I’m sorry, but this is all coming at me so fast and I really don’t understand it. If I didn’t have you to talk to about all of this, I don’t know what I’d do.”
             

“
What really freaks me out is the fact that Robert and Caroline look so much like us. I sort of forgot about the resemblance since I showed you that photo on your porch. Now that I’m seeing them again, it’s hard to comprehend,” Ben whispered in my ear. “Look at Robert’s nose and the structure of his face. It’s pretty much identical to mine. And Caroline has that same stare you do.” 

“
Believe me, it’s way more nerve-wracking to me than it is to you,” I replied in a much louder voice than I would have liked. A few people turned to look at us.

“
Everyone’s staring over here,” Ben said.

“
I know. Let’s just finish this and get out of here.”
             

We got into Ben’s Audi and I flipped through all of the photos once again. There was one of everyone standing on Robert’s porch steps with Caroline and Robert at the top holding their baby. I stared at the photo, in awe of our likeness. Unfortunately, it didn’t have the date on it, but it had to have been in the summer or early fall of 1879 because I knew Caroline was in the early stages of pregnancy in December of 1878 and everyone was dressed a bit lighter than in my dreams. The face of this baby sent me into a trance-like state. I stared at her eyes, hoping they would give me answers. Robert looked thinner than I remembered in my dreams. I quickly realized that I didn’t have any visions of him last night when Ben and I had been together.

We drove around Cape May until I saw a house I recognized. It was one of the historic “painted ladies.” I could tell by the Victorian architecture and bright colors. It would have been located where I imagined the home of Rebecca and my Victorian mother lived after the fire.