“Ah, the years of living dangerously,” I said
nostalgically. “It’s been worth it, we’ve accomplished a lot...
Liv, when I take Astrid with me, you and Tristan can—”
Liv lifted her hand, stopping me. “Jack, Seth
will try again, we all know that. Tristan and I will stay around.
Just in case you need us. You know that we can be quite handy in a
tight spot.”
“Thanks, Liv,” I said, not at all surprised
by her offer. I knew they wouldn’t consider their job done just
because the replacement had come. Astrid was their friend now, and
they would be there for her, as long as she needed them.
“Don’t mention it.”
“Liv, tell me about her.”
“You first.”
“Headstrong, stubborn, sharp-tongued, smart
as a whip, funny and intriguing. I’ve never thought it was possible
to feel so strongly about someone after such a short time.”
“She is fascinating. Did you know she studied
medicine at two different universities at the same time? The first
year courses at one, the second year at another so that she could
complete two years in one. The regular program was too slow for
her. She had to fake her birth year; she was far too young for
medical school. She became an MD in less than four years and has
two surgical specialties. She’s logical and rational, like her
wizard kind, and at the same time emotional, warm and sensitive.
And feminine, don’t you think?”
“She is.”
Oh boy, she is!
Astrid was breathtakingly beautiful. Her
sexual appeal was most prominent in the color of her voice, in
those dark-blue eyes, in the soft curve of her neck; in the way she
moved, talked, smiled and laughed.
I glanced at the clock. Hours and hours
before she would be done. I briefly closed my eyes and imagined her
serious, calm profile focused on the broken body on the surgery
table. I saw her elegant yet strong and confident hands in bloody
surgical gloves connecting damaged tissue. The subtle energy of her
healing touch would help her to do the impossible.
I was about to take her from the only life
she knew and loved, and parachute her right into an unknown world,
so different from hers. If she agreed to stay in Red Cliffs, she
would be our Ellida, something she’d never heard about before I
told her. She would be my wife, and my mate, and the mother of my
children.
Nobody asked her if she wanted it, and yet
she was willing to try: to leave everything behind, to be our
Ellida, to live with us, to give me a chance. What right did we
have to do that to her? I wasn’t surprised that she’d fallen apart
today. I was truly astounded she wasn’t indeed on her way to Nepal
instead of calmly trying to save somebody’s life. My brave
girl.
“Liv, she seems so young,” I said quietly,
suddenly struck by a fear that, sooner or later, Astrid could get
tired of all those burdens we’d been putting upon her and decide to
leave.
My friend quickly identified the source of my
acute panic attack.
“Don’t go there, Jack,” she said gently.
“Astrid is a mature and responsible person, driven by her famous
logic as well as her heart. She doesn’t make impulsive decisions.
And she is capable of deep and honest feelings.”
“What if she gets tired one day and wants to
leave?” I repeated aloud my anxious thought, desperately looking at
my friend for reassurance.
“For Chrissake, Jack, don’t even dare to
compare Astrid with that girl! Madeleine left you for somebody
else. She cheated on you, not the other way around! It wasn’t your
fault! You know what?” Livia raised her voice and I could only hope
it would stop at that level. “I’ve never understood what you saw in
her. Okay, she was pretty and there was some mystique around her.
She was always so reserved and quiet, and I never knew if it was
because she was indeed reserved or because she didn’t have much to
say.”
“And you didn’t bother to figure it out? With
all the methods you have at your disposal?”
She smirked. “For a human, she was very
difficult to read with my non-evasive methods, so it stayed a
mystery for me if she loved you or if she liked the idea of having
a rich, good-looking boyfriend who adored her.” She stopped and
exhaled audibly. “Sorry for being so open. I hope it doesn’t bother
you anymore.”
It didn’t, but Liv was one of the few people
who could talk to me like that and get away with it. “It’s not
important anymore, Liv. I’ll just tell you that Lanni is a smart
and compassionate woman. Being an introvert is not a personality
fault.”
“Okay, I’m sorry. I was probably a bit
unfair. But she wasn’t the right girl for you, Jack. I knew it from
the beginning, but I was polite enough to keep my mouth shut.”
“Maybe you should’ve told me long ago and
saved me a lot of trouble.”
“Yeah, and you’d have listened to me, sure…
I’m telling you now, about Astrid. Think about this: Madeleine was
your choice, and it didn’t work. Astrid has been chosen for you as
your bond mate, and it works. And believe me, in spite of her
‘tender age’, I can’t imagine anybody else who could handle you and
a whole bunch of your kinsmen better than Astrid Vandermeer.”
“I didn’t mean to compare Astrid with Lanni.
Though you’d be probably surprised to see how much Lanni has
changed. She graduated from nursing school and now works as a
pediatric nurse.”
“Oh, I’d like to see that change myself.”
“She’s put her life back on the right track.
You can easily check that for yourself. Liv, she worked hard to
make something out of her life.”
Livia eyed me sharply. “And you know all this
how?”
“It’s not what you think, Liv. Lanni belongs
to somebody else now. I have no business there.”
She raised her eyebrow. “Does she know
that?”
“Of course she knows. Come on, Liv, give her
some credit! Lanni had a lonely, unhappy childhood and a harsh
life. I loved her, and I know she loved me. And I was equally
responsible for our break-up. I took her for granted, like
everybody else in her life… Our relationship had been over long
before Astrid came into my life, however, and it’s going to stay
like that. Astrid’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Liv.
I’m aware of that. I’m just saying Astrid is young, and everything
is happening too fast for her.”
“Then be there for her, Jack. Her life has
always been so disciplined, so organized, so spartan. And she is
such a warm, darling girl. Shake her up a little bit. Bring some
more fun, more laughter into her life, more lightness of living.
She hasn’t had much of that.”
“It’s me who is shaken up, so I might as well
return the favor.”
I wasn’t sure if Astrid was ready to hear the
next few lines of Cohen’s song, but her man was damn ready to hum
them into her ear. “Liv, is it okay if I go to the hospital now?” I
said.
“One of them will phone when they finish.
Then you can go. If Astrid is still in the operating room, they
won’t let you into her office. Let’s make us something to eat while
we wait. I’m hungry.”
It was a quarter to three when Liv’s phone
rang. “They’re both going to make it.” I heard a bright, cheery
tone in Tristan’s voice. “She’s a wizard!”
“Are you coming home?” Liv said.
“I’ll stay a bit. I hear Jack’s still there.
Why don’t you two come here for an early morning cup?”
Before Liv ended the call, I had the car keys
in my hands.
“YOU DON’T mind, do you?” Tristan said.
“Not at all.”
On the contrary
.
Just the thought of seeing Jack made me
forget instantly how tired I was. My heart beat fast and hard, I
felt light and giddy, like a teenage girl having her first
crush.
I was tired, though, in spite of my
formidable physical and mental endurance. I could work long hours,
do a string of surgeries without feeling tired or losing
concentration. I needed little sleep. Four, five hours were usually
enough. Except close to the full moon, when I felt exhausted and
slept a lot.
Or after complicated surgeries. That night, I
had operated for several long hours, fighting for the young woman’s
life. I’d mobilized all my energy and skills and focused them on
the body in front of me. When I’d finished, I felt physically
drained and emotionally exhausted, like after crying for a long
time.
The young woman, mother of two little girls,
and wife of the man Tristan had operated on, would survive.
Sometimes my patients would die no matter how
fiercely I fought to save them. Losing those battles always left me
not only empty and worn out, but also sad, bitter and angry. In
short, not quite myself for days. I’d never learned how to deal
with that.
Luckily, the young woman that had been
brought to the hospital clinically dead was going to have a full
recovery. I’d stabilized her condition and eased her pain as much
as I could, so we didn’t need to put her into an induced coma. She
would wake up sometime later that day and start her slow yet steady
convalescence.
“You did a hell of a job tonight, Dr.
Duplant.”
“Thank you, Dr. Blake. Those two girls need
their mother, and that man, his wife,” I said.
Tristan leaned across the table and gently
stroked my cheek.
We sat in my office, waiting for Liv and
Jack. Tristan brought us two double espressos he made in his
office, where he kept a small Gaggia machine.
My job was done for today, but I would check
on my patient before leaving the hospital.
“I’ll find you a replacement for tonight.
Take a day off,” Tristan said.
I rubbed my eyes. “That will leave me with
Jack more than... than...”
“More than you want? Why don’t I believe
you?”
“I didn’t mean to say that. Jack told you
about that special connection between us, didn’t he? Damn it,
Tristan, it’s working. I feel like a part of me is missing when
he’s not within arm’s reach. I’m just wondering if I would feel the
same for him without that bond. I wish we'd met under different
circumstances.”
“Astrid, I refuse to believe that any kind of
bond is arbitrary. That would be a bad joke, nothing more.”
“Then what about all those famous couples who
couldn’t function together yet couldn’t live without each
other?”
“They wasted the gift they were given,”
Tristan said. “That’s what I think. A bond works if you make it
work, otherwise it’s a curse. I’m trying to say that you still hold
the reins. It depends on you, not on the bond, if you’re going to
make your life and somebody else’s heaven or hell.”
I was about to say I liked Tristan’s bonding
philosophy. I didn’t mind if he’d just developed it for my sake.
Then all my senses detected my bond mate walking briskly toward my
office. My heart moved up to my throat and I tried to push it back
to its place, and then I thought about Tristan’s wise words and
gave up.
Jack came in, bringing his delicious scent of
wind, sun and rain; mixed with longing, desire, closeness, hunger,
lust. I firmly grabbed the sides of the chair I’d been sitting on
in order not to launch myself on his handsome, inviting self.
“Hey.” Jack came to me and kissed my hair. “I
heard you did a great job last night.”
It was good I was already sitting because my
whole body turned limp. I reached for his hand and held it between
mine.
With the pretext of making an espresso for
Jack, Tristan excused himself and went to join Liv in his
office.
Jack picked up a stray lock and tucked it
behind my ear. “You look tired. Do you need to stay until your
shift is over?”
I shook my head. “No. Tristan will stay.”
Still holding my hand, Jack pulled another
chair up and sat close to me. I rested my head against his chest
and breathed in his scent.
Just a little bit, just for a
minute... You smell and feel so good, Jack Canagan. Maybe you are
indeed given to me as a gift, and I stake my claim, here and now.
You are mine, and I will die if you ever, ever love any other woman
but me
...
I shook my head at my silly thoughts and
looked up at Jack. “Are you sure you can’t read minds?”
A smile sparkled in his beautiful amber eyes.
I wanted him to close them so that I could kiss his eyelids. “Oh, I
can guess what’s on your mind. Something similar to what I’ve been
thinking of, for sure,” he said.
I tucked my head back into its place, into
that inviting hollow between Jack’s neck and shoulder that seemed
so perfectly shaped for it. “What have you been doing all
night?”
“Talking with Liv.”
“About me?”
“Of course. Who else?”
“I’m taking a day off. What are we going to
do?”
Are we taking things slowly, or are we diving into the deep
end?
I wasn’t sure if I said that aloud or if it
was only in my mind.
It was probably just my raunchy imagination
because Jack didn’t reply directly to my question. Instead, he
cupped my chin and said, “Astrid, let me see your eyes.”
I looked up at him, feeling a bit dizzy. For
a long moment his eyes examined mine, and I could see that he found
in them whatever he’d been looking for.
“Tristan and Liv are coming,” I said, hearing
their steps coming towards my office, and reluctantly removed
myself from Jack.
ONE HOUR later I checked on my patient and,
satisfied with her condition, decided to go home. I was pleasantly
tired and light-headed. Everything seemed to move in slow motion.
Jack protectively put his arm around my shoulder as we walked out,
and his solid, firm presence sent waves of happiness throughout my
body.
“Do you mind if I sleep in the living room?”
I asked when we arrived home. Suddenly I couldn’t bear to be alone
in my room. I still had Jack’s jacket there, but then, I realized,
I could have Jack himself even closer. “You could bring your laptop
and work here, if you like. I don’t mind. I’m a quiet sleeper, I
don’t snore and I don’t talk in my sleep.”