“It’s called
Rosso corsa
, or Ferrari
red, and it’s bloody sexy.” I heard her from the next room. She was
trying on a sexy silver-gray lacy dress.
Getting no response from my cubicle, she
decided to play her trump card. “Wait until Jack sees it.”
Well, in that case, I might give it a try.
When I stepped out, Livia smiled approvingly and made a
didn’t-I-tell-you movement with her arms. I turned in front of the
mirror assessing the dress one more time from all sides.
“I look like an expensive call girl,” I said,
laughing. “I’ll take it.”
LIV DROVE me home, where Jack and Tristan
were already waiting for us. After a quick coffee, the Blakes went
home.
Jack and I had the next several hours for us.
My mind started toying with many different ways we could spend the
time until the exhibition opening. I knew none of them would likely
happen, but I could still dream, couldn’t I?
We sat on the sofa, on opposite ends. I
glanced at his handsome face and those incredible golden-amber
eyes, so full of life and energy. He’d been born in 1894, Liv said.
It was a bit of a shock when I’d heard it, but now, looking at him
sitting across me, so alive, so vibrant, so potent and young, it
was irrelevant. He could have been another of Julius Caesar’s
friends, for all I cared. I didn’t even want to ask him about it,
or let him know I knew. It was not important.
“May I see your dress?” Jack asked, unaware
of my thoughts.
The box with the dress sat on the table,
still in its navy-blue paper bag.
“You’ll see it when I put it on. It’s just a
little cocktail dress,” I said, keeping my voice neutral. “What did
you buy at Maurizio’s?”
Jack’s eyes narrowed. “How do you know we
were there? Liv’s mental GPS?”
“Actually, I’m the one who tracked you down,”
I said proudly. In a few words I told Jack what I’d done and how
Liv thought that my skills were undeveloped.
Jack moved closer and took my hands in his.
“And she’s right. You have great potential. I mentioned it to
James. He’s already spoken to Ellida Morgaine about training
you.”
I widened my eyes in surprise. “Ellida
Morgaine? Your first Ellida?”
Jack smiled gently and kissed my palms.
“She’s now Gelltydd Coch clan’s Ellida only. We have our own.
Remember I told you about our first settlers?”
“They came from Gelltydd Coch in Wales, I
remember.”
“My grandfather, Robert, is still their
Einhamir.”
It was another surprise for me. “Your
grandfather? I didn’t know he was still alive. My paternal
grandparents are dead, so I assumed yours were as well.”
Jack’s lips tugged into a warm smile. “Oh,
both my grandparents are alive. They love me dearly. I’m the only
child of their only son. But they’re still angry at me for refusing
to become the Einhamir. Robert, the Lord Einhamir of the Northern
Lands—”
“The
Lord
Einhamir?” I said,
amused.
“My grandfather’s official title. Anyway,
he’s a bit old-fashioned and a temperamental man, a very different
personality from my father.” Jack laughed softly. “He’s not unlike
your uncle in that way. He’s a good and honest man. He’ll come
around. Brian’s death was devastating to my grandparents. From my
grandfather’s perspective, I turned my back on his legacy, and my
mother betrayed him by marrying his best friend.”
“What should she do? Mourn him forever? Does
he think James usurped the Einhamir position?”
Jack shook his head. “No, he actually likes
and respects James, or at least he used to, until he married my
mom.”
“What about your grandmother?”
Jack smiled fondly. “Ah, the Lady Anwen.
Well, you can say Robert rules the roost but Anwen rules the
rooster. She’s usually able to keep him in line, but in this matter
she’s on his side. They are truly from a different time, but I
think you’ll like them. They are good people.”
“Do you visit them?”
Jack ran his hand through his hair. “I do. I
go to Wales once a year to see them. They have close friends in
another werewolf clan in Canada, and we usually meet somewhere
halfway for a day or two when they are here, because they never
come to Red Cliffs. It’s still painful for them.”
“He agreed to send Morgaine to help me?”
“Astrid, it wasn’t his decision to make.”
Jack said and gently brushed his knuckle down my cheekbone.
“Morgaine overrules him, remember? To my
Lord Grandsire’s
credit, however, he supported her and James’ plan wholeheartedly.
James is a wise man, Astrid. He not only provided you with the
necessary guidance, but also made a first step towards
reconciliation with Robert and Anwen. Of course, Morgaine is also
working hard to smooth the path.”
Another unsettling thought flashed through my
mind. “About the Ellida, Jack. What’s her surname? How old is
she?”
“Her last name’s Nakamura. She’s been among
us—don’t fret now—about six hundred years.”
“Phew, I was afraid you’d tell me she was
Morgaine le Fey.
That
would freak me out. My God, you said
six hundred years!”
Jack smiled. “After a while, it’ll be normal
for you... Like you, she masters three elements: water, fire and
wind. She’s less skilled with metal.”
“It’s gender-related,” I said. “Male wizards
are usually better with metal and less skilled with water and air.
Fire is gender-neutral. So, Ellida Morgaine will be my mentor?”
“She will work to polish your skills and
prepare you for your role as an Ellida.”
I WAS aware that my abilities had never been
expanded to their full capacity. Out of necessity, my grandparents
had been focused on teaching me how to keep my powers under control
rather than how to apply them.
I couldn’t blame them for that. They did what
they had thought would be best for me. They’d been trying to shield
me from Seth. They’d tried to raise me like an ordinary human
child, hoping beyond hope that that would be enough to protect me,
that nobody would pay attention to me.
“It’s not that they didn’t teach me how to
use my power,” I said, thinking aloud, to myself and even more to
Jack.
I didn’t want anyone to blame Arnaldur and
Ella for anything. All parents—and that was what they had been to
me—made mistakes. Terrible things had happened and they were left
with their small charge, devoting their life to me.
“They did the best they could,” Jack said,
“and they did a marvelous job. Look who you became, Astrid.”
“They loved me unconditionally, kept me alive
and gave me a home. I was sometimes angry with them, for doing this
and not doing that, mostly for things they’ve neglected to tell me.
But I’ve never questioned their love for me.”
Jack wrapped his arm around my shoulder and
kissed my forehead. “And thanks to them, you’re quite a capable
wizard.”
Oh, that’s good
. I smiled silently and
pressed my head against his chest, my mind already occupied with a
different subject. My hand reached for his and our fingers linked.
I felt his lips in my hair, his warm, sweet breath behind my ears.
I sat motionless, afraid that even the slightest movement would
destroy the fragile equilibrium between the things we wanted to do
and the things we could do.
WE SOMEHOW reached a mutual consensus on how
much was possible for us to to touch, to kiss, before things would
slip out of control. Gentle strokes, tender kisses and quick
brushes of our bodies—that was all we could allow. Our separate
rooms—I still hadn’t peeked into his and Jack had been avoiding
mine. Our controlled closeness and our constant talking kept our
brewing sexual energy under a tight lid. We were in such an awkward
situation, but we knew it wouldn’t last forever. There were many
tense moments when we’d come to the brink of our patience, and I
knew that I caused them more frequently than Jack.
I had to deal with my other side, too, still
mostly unknown and hard to control. I was aware that sometimes it
was me rather than the wolf who deliberately failed to suppress my
desire for Jack, leaving it to him to deal with the consequences.
According to Jack, however, it was my wolf who usually misbehaved,
yet I couldn’t blame her. She was just much more direct in
expressing her wishes and cared much less for the social norms.
It was hard keeping that balance, but not
impossible: the gift of Jack’s presence in my life made it
worthwhile. Once we went to Red Cliffs, Jack would be away most of
the time, at least for the first month or two. That scared me. I
would be on my own among unknown people, no matter how friendly and
welcoming they were. Liv and Tristan wouldn’t be there, Ella and
Arnaldur would stay in Seattle. I wouldn’t have my job, either.
“I’ll manage somehow,” I said aloud.
With his deep insight, Jack was aware of my
worried thoughts. “You will. Eamon’s there. Maggie’s coming for
spring break.” He lifted my chin and kissed me tenderly. “James is
going to keep me busy for a month or two, but nobody’s going to
keep me away from you for long.”
I turned and locked my arms around Jack’s
neck. His mouth was already on mine, and I just increased the
pressure, breaching in a bit deeper. Jack moved his hands to my
shoulders and kept them there firmly, ready to restrain me if
necessary.
I could almost hear a deep rumbling inside my
chest and I knew that my other part had been trying to emerge.
Not now,
I said to her.
I can handle this. Please let
me
. To my surprise, the growling stopped and I could feel how
she retreated. She wasn’t even angry.
I broke out of Jack’s embrace, astonished
with the fact that, for the second time today, I’d been able to
communicate with my other spirit, no matter how briefly. And that
she’d listened to me. That’d never happened before.
Jack lifted my chin and looked into my
eyes.
“Blue?” I said, already sure what I would
hear.
“As a deep blue sea,” he said, smiling. “How
come?”
Excited, I explained to him what had
happened. “I told her to wait, and she did. Maybe I’m not so
hopeless after all.”
“It’s going to get better once your spirits
are completely connected,” Jack said stroking my hair gently.
“You’ll still need to control your wolf, mind you, especially
because she’s strong, but it’ll be much easier. In linked spirits,
the human part is dominant over the wolf, right up to the moment we
change. Then the wolf takes over, but still must, how to say,
consider what your human part has to say.” Jack leaned and kissed
my forehead. “Astrid, love, in the next month or two, try to
control your strong emotions: anger, irritation, even extreme
excitement.”
Jealousy, I thought. Jealousy had almost
pushed me over earlier today. Did I have a reason to be
jealous?
“You are mine, Jack Canagan,” I whispered
and, closing my eyes, sought his lips again. “And no matter how you
ended up in my life, I’m grateful I have you,” I said a bit later,
quite breathless. I pulled back a bit to have a look at his
face.
He cupped my face and brushed my nose with
his. “Are you now?”
I started counting on my fingers. “You’re
good looking. You’re smart and well educated. You know how to fly a
helicopter, you cook, you feel good and smell wonderful. I think I
can safely assume you are an exquisite lover, too. What else can a
girl ask for?”
“Hmm, you safely assume, you say?” Jack said,
gently running his hands along my back.
“Uh-huh. I like the way you kiss me and touch
me, and my logical mind’s quite capable of making deductions based
on those facts.” Another thought crossed my mind and I looked up at
Jack. “I hope I won’t disappoint you. I mean sex-wise.”
My cheeks instantly burned and I buried my
head into his neck, wondering why on earth I had made such a stupid
remark. I tried to reason with myself that for a girl of
twenty-six, I didn’t have much experience. Or maybe I expected from
Jack nothing less than the soul-deep, absolute physical and
emotional intimacy I’d always dreamed about? But what if he’d been
expecting the same from me? Were those skills also among my hidden
potential?
Jack pushed me gently back to get a better
view of my face. “I deeply regret, ma’am, I can’t show you how
ungrounded your concerns are right away. Astrid, baby, regardless
of your past experience or anything else you are so worried about,
we are two healthy people completely over the moon with each other.
How can you disappoint me when I’m dying for your touch? You kiss
me and I’m breathless. While you’re sleeping in that squeaky room,
I don’t sleep at all, I’m happy just to listen to your breathing.
Astrid, I’ve never wanted anybody more than you. How on earth could
I be disappointed when I have you? We are bond mates, baby. It’s
you and me, and we have all the time in the world to be together.
All right?”
“All right.” I exhaled. I always worried too
much. It really sucked that we couldn’t prove it right off the bat.
“We should get ready,” I reminded my sofa partner, but didn’t make
any attempt to remove myself from his arms.
“I’m curious to see your new dress. You
didn’t want to show it to me, so it must be something.”
“And I’m equally curious about your outfit. I
was able to see you and Tristan at the store, but not what you were
buying. By the way, why didn’t you peek into my whereabouts? You
can easily do that.”
“I won’t do that unless it is necessary.
Privacy issues, you know.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know that. Liv and I
just wanted to know if I would be able to locate you. How far can
you reach if you look for somebody?”
“Not far, but I should be able to find you
anywhere in this town, though,” Jack said, obviously unconcerned
with the breach of his privacy. “Feel free to use me for practicing
your mental tracking,” he said and lifted me up. “I need to shave
and take a shower, but after you. Go now.”