Smiling, she took Leah’s face in both hands. “Leah, I won’t leave you. You needn’t fear that. I made your father a promise to look after you, and I will do just that. This country is no place to be alone.”
“Jacob’s alone,” Leah whispered.
“For now,” Karen agreed. “But once we talk to Mr. Ivankov, I know Jacob won’t be alone any longer. Adrik will go after him. You’ll see.” She tried again to smile for Leah’s sake, but a weariness settled upon her. What were they going to do after they found Jacob? Should they board the next ship south? Should they return to Seattle and take up a home near Karen’s sister? There were just too many questions and not enough answers.
“We should pray for Jacob,” Leah said.
God still seemed so distant. So very far away. Could she possibly find her way back to His comfort? She knew He forgave sin—welcomed back prodigals. The only real question was how could she go back to God and carry with her the hatred she felt for Martin Paxton?
She looked to Leah’s wide-eyed expression. The child had lost so much, but her face looked ever hopeful as she spoke of prayer. Karen nodded, knowing that she would never be able to lead such a prayer.
Leah seemed to understand Karen’s reluctance. She took hold of Karen’s hands. “Don’t worry, Karen. I can pray for both of us.”
“What do you mean you knew he was heading north? Why didn’t you come to tell me?” Karen questioned in disbelief. “I thought you were my friend.”
Adrik looked apologetic, but it wasn’t an apology that came out of his mouth. “Look, I figure sometimes a man has to do what he feels he must.”
“For a man that might well be expected, but we’re talking about a fifteen-year-old boy.”
“Fifteen is hardly a boy in these parts. There’s more than a few fellows Jacob’s age who are here on their own. They’re out working to make their keep, to see themselves north in search of gold.”
“I don’t care about the gold, I care about Jacob. Adrik, it was very irresponsible of you to let him just head off like that. You should have at least convinced him to come back to the Gold Nugget and talk this through with me.”
Adrik shook his head. “If you’ll recall, I’m not responsible for Jacob. Bill Barringer gave that job to you, but even so, I did talk to him and I tried to encourage him to stay. He was bent on knowing the truth about his father. I remember someone else who was just as eager to know her father’s whereabouts. Jacob wants to keep his father alive, and if not his father, then his father’s dream. Before the fire left you so bitter, I’d heard similar things from you.”
Karen hadn’t expected Adrik to call attention to her bitter heart. It stung to hear the words, and she thought momentarily of some sort of defense. But there was none. She was bitter and angry, and those two qualities were slowly draining her of her strength.
Karen got up from the overturned crate Adrik had offered her as a seat. In his overwhelming presence, the tent seemed to have shrunk since she’d shared it with Leah and Jacob. “I suppose I should just go. I thought you might understand.”
“I do understand,” he said softly, the tone of his voice sending a small shiver through her. “I understand better than you give me credit for.”
She turned her eyes upward and studied the ruggedly handsome face. The nose was a little too large, the mustache too thick. The jaw was too square and the eyes too . . . She lost herself for a moment. There was nothing wrong with Adrik’s looks. He was perfect. Her feelings startled her back into reality.
Taking a deep breath, Karen barely managed to speak. “If you understand, then why . . . why won’t you help me get Jacob back?”
“Karen, the boy will most likely come back on his own. And even if he doesn’t, do you really want me to go out there and haul him back, only to have him run off again? And he will. He won’t stand by and let some woman who’s not even kin tell him what he can and can’t do regarding his father. Do you honestly want that ugliness between the two of you?”
“But I can’t just stand by and do nothing,” Karen protested. “There’s Leah to consider. Not to mention that there’s hardly any reason to stay here. Everything has changed now. Nothing’s the same. I came here with one thought—one hope and dream, and that’s gone now. I have no reason to stay, but without Jacob I can hardly leave.”
Adrik didn’t reply but moved with a quickness that took Karen’s breath as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her soundly on the mouth. Too stunned to even react for a moment, Karen relished the ticklish way his mustache moved against her face. She felt a warmth spread to her cheeks as she allowed herself to realize what was really taking place.
He ended the kiss as quickly as he’d begun it, but still he held her tightly. “I can give you a reason to stay, if you want to hear it.”
Karen tried not to show her surprise, but in all honesty her feelings were so confusing that she feared what she might do or say. Pushing away, she shook her head. “You had no right to do that.” She broke his hold but knew that had he any intentions of forcing her to remain in his embrace, he would have little difficulty in keeping her there.
“I apologize,” he said. Then grinning, he added, “Not for kissing you, but for not asking first.”
The boyish amusement in his expression irritated Karen and pressed her into action. “That was uncalled-for, Mr. Ivankov. I came here to discuss Jacob, not issues between us.”
“I think the issues between us need to be discussed,” Adrik replied. “Seems to me you’re wrestling with an awful lot these days. You worry about the future, but it’s the present that’s killing you.”
“You’re wrong,” Karen said, shaking so much from the encounter that she was certain he could see her tremble. “I’m merely trying to keep things under control. I can understand that you would be less than supportive of seeing Martin Paxton pay for his deeds. After all, you don’t really know him and what he’s capable of. But I felt certain you would care enough about Jacob to help me keep him from further harm.”
“I do care, Karen. I care about a great many things, including you.”
“I don’t want to hear that. I haven’t any interest in hearing it. I need to think of Jacob and Leah. I need to figure out what’s best for their future, as well as my own.”
“What’s best for your future is exactly what you’re running from,” Adrik said matter-of-factly.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Adrik refused to back down. “You know what it means.”
Karen fought the attraction she had for Adrik and instead put her hands on her hips and shook her head very slowly. “No . . . I don’t think I do.”
“Have it your way,” Adrik said with a shrug. “I’m not going to play games with you. I haven’t got the time for it. Look, if it makes you feel any better, I’ll go look for Jacob. But I’m not going to force him to come back.”
Confused by her emotions and Adrik’s unwillingness to continue their conversation, Karen picked up her gloves and hat. “Don’t bother. I’ll go for him myself before I ask you to do me any favors.”
She headed for the Gold Nugget awash in a sensation of defeat and discouragement. What was she supposed to do now? She could hardly pack up Leah and head north, yet she couldn’t leave Jacob to fend for himself.
“Why are you doing this to me?” She gazed upward to the snow-covered mountains as if she might very well see God seated on a throne atop the crest. The swirling snow arched upward against a sky so blue it almost hurt her eyes to look upon it.
“Winter’s not long for us now,” an old man commented as he passed by her, dragging a sled full of gear. “The thaw will be here afore ya know it.”
She lowered her gaze and nodded. “I’ll be glad for it.”
The man smiled, revealing a mouth full of decaying teeth. “The thaw will melt the ice and snow. Everyone will be glad for it.”
He went on his way, and Karen watched after him. His sled made two deep indentations in the icy mud as he pulled the heavy load forward. Karen thought on his words, knowing them to be true. How many times had she heard someone praying for an early spring—an end to the relentless darkness, warming winds to melt the ice?
“I’m glad you didn’t get too far.”
Karen whirled around to find Adrik holding up her handbag. “You left this in my tent. I thought you might need it.”
Her temper had cooled and she nodded. “Thank you. It was kind of you to bring it to me.”
“Look,” Adrik began hesitantly, “I didn’t mean to anger you.”
“I’m the one who needs to apologize. I’ve been so short with you—with everyone,” Karen said, sighing heavily. “I just have no answers. I’m tired. And it seems that everyone wants to hurt me. Even God seems to be taking part.”
Adrik smiled. “Well, I for one have no desire to hurt you. Facts being what they are, I have something much more pleasurable in mind.”
Karen’s cheeks grew hot, and she quickly lowered her gaze to the ground. “You shouldn’t talk like that.”
“Why not? It’s the truth.”
“Be that as it may,” Karen said, trying to maintain her control, “I don’t think it very appropriate. I have more than enough to concern myself with, and pleasure isn’t on the agenda.”
“First you complain because there’s nothing but misery in your life, but when someone offers you something else, you refuse it.” Karen looked up, noting his amused expression. “I think you need to decide exactly what it is you want out of life, and go after it.” He smiled in his good-natured way and tipped his hat. “When you figure it all out, let me know. Especially if there’s a spot for me.”
GRACE SAT BESIDE the cabin window. She had returned to
Summer Song
to nurse her bruised feelings. Her heart was nearly broken by memories of Peter’s rage and Karen’s desire for revenge. Her dear friend had changed so much. How could she even be the same gentle woman who had so often admonished Grace to let bygones be bygones?
“I’m sure Peter will turn up soon,” Amelia Colton said in motherly assurance. “He’s never been one to admit to being wrong.” The three Colton women had gathered in the small living space to still one another’s worries.
“You don’t have to take my side,” Grace said softly. “You are his mother. I don’t expect you to choose between us.”
“But there is no us,” Amelia stated. Miranda looked up from her knitting and nodded.
“The two shall be one,” Peter’s sister murmured.
“That’s right. It’s what I’ve often counseled Miranda about. That’s why it is so difficult to be married to one who has no interest in what’s most precious to you. What possible hope can you have of peace in such a household?”
Grace knew only too well of what Amelia Colton spoke. “We are, as the Bible says, unequally yoked. Like light and darkness. I have chosen to walk God’s narrow path, and Peter, well, he’s a good man, but being good doesn’t save you for eternity.”
Amelia nodded. “I blame myself, Grace. Ephraim and I . . . well . . . we got away from fellowship and worship. We got busy with life, and so often Sundays were the best days to take care of other needs. I spent many a Sunday, along with my children, on board one ship or another cleaning and scrubbing.”
The expression on Amelia’s face tore at Grace’s heart. Her regret was so evident. “You mustn’t be too hard on yourself, Mother Colton.”
“Oh, but I was wrong, Grace. Miranda, I wronged you and Peter. I should have showed you a better way—a more faithful way to honor God. I never saw that it might cause you to turn away or find worship unimportant. I only desired to help Ephraim.”
“I heard my name being bandied about,” Ephraim Colton said, coming from the adjoining cabin.
Amelia smiled. “I assure you it was all for good. I was actually apologizing to Grace and Miranda for not having been more faithful in raising my children to fear God first and attend to duty second.”
Ephraim nodded, and the same sadness that had tinged Amelia’s eyes now touched his. “We’ve no one but ourselves to blame for taking such a lazy view of our faith and commitment to God.”
“But you were and are good parents,” Miranda said, putting aside her knitting. She went to her father and hugged him close. “God can restore our family and the wasted years. He’s already doing quite a good job of it with us. Peter will come around.”
A knock on the cabin door caught their attention.
“Peter!” Grace gasped, her hand going to her throat. She could only pray he had returned.
Ephraim went to the door, but instead of finding his son, he found his first mate accompanied by the local law officials. “Welcome aboard, gentlemen. To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“Ain’t hardly pleasure,” the taller of the two replied. “I have papers here from a Martin Paxton. He says he owns this ship and can take possession of it at any time. He wants you and your folks off the ship immediately.”
Grace was on her feet. “
Summer Song
belongs to the Coltons. Martin Paxton has no say whatsoever.”
Ephraim took the papers but continued to stare in disbelief at the lawman. “That’s right.
Summer Song
is a part of Colton Shipping.”
“I can’t help that, mister. Read these papers, and you’ll see they’ve been executed all legal-like back in San Francisco. We’re here to uphold the law.”
Grace went to Ephraim’s side. “Father Colton, don’t worry about this. There must be some mistake. We must go see Mr. Paxton and set things right.”
It took further convincing on Grace’s part, but finally Ephraim agreed. The sheriff ’s deputy, however, was of no mind to leave Amelia and Miranda on board while Ephraim and Grace went off to settle the affair. The two deputies ordered the party to gather their things and deboard the ship immediately.
Grace could hardly believe the order. She threw her things haphazardly into her trunks and watched helplessly as
Summer
Song
’s crew went to work loading them off onto the dock. He was doing this to hurt her. Martin Paxton was doing this to punish the Coltons for helping her defy his plans. Perhaps Peter was right—perhaps Martin Paxton did not deserve forgiveness.
Mindless of the beautiful skies overhead, Grace allowed herself to be helped from the ship. The rush of activities along the harbor walk did nothing to take her mind from the moment. Peter would be furious. No doubt if Paxton thought he had rights to
Summer Song
, he would also take
Merry Maid
.
Dear Lord
, she prayed,
you must help us. Peter will kill Mr.
Paxton if he hasn’t already done the deed
.