Asking for Trouble (4 page)

Alyssa’s unemployment blues eased a little with the arrival
of her brother Gabe on Christmas Eve. Alec had always been her exciting
brother, equal parts glamorous, demanding, and exasperating, but Gabe had been her
protector and confidante ever since she could remember. Although, she sadly
admitted to herself, he’d had less time for her A.M.—After Mira. She
liked her sister-in-law, but she missed being alone with Gabe. And with both of
her brothers newly married . . . the phrase “fifth wheel” came pretty forcibly
to mind.

“You need to tell us all about the honeymoon, Rae. I want to
see pictures,” Mira said when they had sat down to dinner, nine of them including
Rae’s grandmother Dixie, all squeezed around the dining room table eating
spaghetti with meat sauce, their traditional Christmas Eve dinner.

Alec and Rae had been married on the day after Thanksgiving.
A short engagement, a small, simple wedding, but Alyssa knew that Dixie’s
health was fragile, and they hadn’t wanted to wait. And, Rae had said practically,
they wouldn’t have to take as much time off work if they did it over the
holiday weekend. Which had made Alec groan, and everyone else laugh.

“It was . . . “ Rae smiled. “Great. It was great. As
honeymoons go, I’d rate it right up there. I’ll show you my pictures later, if
you want to see. Other people’s vacation pictures are never that fascinating.”

“They are to me,” Mira protested. “I’ve never been to Paris.
So romantic.”

“Thanks, bro,” Gabe told his twin. “Raising the bar again.”

He got a shrug in return. “Got to do it right. I’m only
going to get one bride. Sadly.” Alec heaved a martyred sigh. “I tried to sell
her on the merits of plural marriage, the whole sister-wife deal, but she’s not
going for it.”

“Nope,” Rae said. “Afraid you’re stuck with one.
 
But yes, you did it right. Although it was
strange, too,” she told Mira. “That was the first time it really sank in how
much money Alec has. Flying first class, staying in a suite at the Georges Cinq,
it was all like a movie, some movie that would never be starring me.”

“What a nightmare,” Alyssa deadpanned.

“Well, yeah,” Rae said with a laugh. “I’m not complaining. But
he didn’t even check with me, he just set it all up, and it was . . . way
beyond my pay grade. We’d go out to dinner, and I’d look at the prices on the
menu, do the currency conversion, get this—” She put her hand on her
heart. “Whoa, major shock, and have to remind myself that he could afford it.”

“That
we
could
afford it,” Alec said. “And here I thought you married me for my money.”

“Nope,” she said. “I married you for your good looks.”

“Oh, that’s right. I forgot. And it’s true,” he told the
others, “I could see that calculator brain working every single time we went
anywhere. They need to make those date menus without the prices again, like
they used to.”

“Always order from the middle of the menu,” Alyssa’s mother pronounced.
“That’s what we were told when I was a girl. You didn’t order the chicken
salad, because that was an insult, like you thought he couldn’t afford anything
more. But you didn’t order the lobster, either, because that would make him
feel taken advantage of.”

“Until you started dating me,” Dave Kincaid put in. “Then
you
knew
you had to order the chicken
salad.”

“Good thing you were worth it,” Susie said. “Lots of
picnics, too.”

“I was hoping you’d think they were romantic,” her husband complained.

“They were.” She smiled back at him, and Alyssa felt about
her fifth pang of envy since they’d sat down. Great. Now she was jealous of her
parents.

“Sometimes I think it’s better just to split the check,” she
said, trying to lift her mood, join the fun. “What do you guys think?” she
asked her brothers. “Better, or no? It always seems like it should be, but
then, when I’ve been out with a guy the first time and he lets the check lie
there in the middle of the table, and I can tell he’s thinking I should offer
to split it . . . ugh. It turns me off.”

“For sure, he pays the first time,” Gabe said.

“That’s right,” Alec agreed. “Big red flag, Liss.”

“But then,” she mused, “why should he, really?”

“Because he asked you,” Gabe said. “He doesn’t have to take
you someplace he can’t afford. If he can only take you out for a hamburger, or
a picnic,” he said with a smile for his mother, “that’s fine. I’ve been that
broke plenty of times. But if he asks you out, he should pay the first time.
You can offer to split the check the second time, if you want.”

“Of course,” Alec said, “if you ask him out, all bets are
off. Though most guys I know probably wouldn’t be comfortable with the woman
paying even then, not the first time.”

“I still don’t ask guys out,” Alyssa admitted. “I should, but
the kind of guy I like, I just can’t imagine asking out. I don’t like New Age
men. I mean, I
like
them, I’m just
not attracted to them. I should be, I know I should be, but I’m not.”
 

 
“So nobody special
right now?” Gabe asked her.

“No,” she said, the fun and laughter wiped away. “Nope.
Single again.”

“Broke up?” he asked with the sympathetic understanding he
always showed, and she wondered why she could never meet a guy like her
brother.

“Yeah. Broke, broke up, and home for the holidays.” She
lifted her water glass in a toast. “Merry Christmas.”

“Never mind,” Rae said. “You have to kiss a lot of frogs,
huh, Mira?”

“That’s right,” Mira said. “You’ll find the right one soon,
Alyssa, I know it. He’s out there waiting for you.”

“What about you, Joe?” Susie asked. “You know, if you ever have
somebody special that you want to bring home with you, we’d love to meet her.”

He shrugged. “Nobody special. Nobody to bring.”

“Seems to me you’d be a real catch,” Dixie said. “A big,
handsome man like you, with that real good job? Lots of girls must be
interested.”

“Not so handsome,” Joe said with a rueful smile, running a big
hand over his shaved head.

Alyssa watched him do it, the sheer size of his shoulder, the
bulge of bicep that the dress shirt he was wearing in honor of the occasion
couldn’t conceal, the crooked grin twisting his mouth amidst the closely trimmed
stubble he’d begun wearing when he’d started shaving his head.

No, not so handsome. But so tough, with his rough edges
barely concealed, leaving you wondering what sorts of banked fires might be burning
underneath.

Dixie snorted. “More important things than hair. Any woman
worth having knows that. Maybe you’re just not giving them a chance.”

“I don’t think that’s it,” he said. “It’s something else. I
don’t know. It starts out OK. They start out thinking I’m mysterious, I guess.
I’m a challenge. That’s what they say, later.” He stopped, reached for his
glass. No wonder. That was practically baring his soul, for Joe.

“And then what?” Susie prompted. “Come on, Joe. Tell us.”

“Guess they think there’s something there that turns out not
to be,” he said. “They want me to share my feelings. They say I don’t.” He
shrugged. “They want a different guy.”

“Don’t know where women got started with that notion,” Dixie
said. “Share your feelings? Men don’t have that many feelings.”

“Oh, now,” Alec protested as all the men at the table
laughed. “We have feelings.”

“What?” Dixie challenged. “A man thinks, why’s the truck
making that funny noise, should I take it into the shop. Glad to be home for
the day. What’s for dinner. And I hope it’s bedtime soon. That’s a man’s
feelings.”

That got a good laugh out of everyone. “I won’t say you’re
wrong,” Alec said. “But hey, those are some powerful feelings. You can’t really
blame us for that.”

“And who wants a man to yap at them all the time?” Dixie
went on. “She’s got girlfriends for that. Can you listen?” she asked Joe.

“I can do that,” he said. “I can listen.”

“There you go, then,” she pronounced triumphantly. “If you
can listen when she talks, that’s plenty. A woman with any sense at all wants a
good, strong, reliable man, one who’s going to be there to hold her when she’s
had a bad day, fix things when they break, solve problems. That’s what a man’s
good for.”

“Well,” Joe said, “that’s good for me, then, because that’s
about what I can do.”

“Then you just need to find yourself a quality woman,” Dixie
insisted. “Maybe you’re looking in the wrong places. You tried church?”

“No, ma’am. No, I haven’t.” Joe was struggling not to smile
now, Alyssa could tell.

“There you go, then. Find a good church, and you’ll find a
quality woman.”

“There are more places than that, though,” Rae said. “I’ve
met most of the guys I’ve dated at work, or through friends. Both of those are
good. I’d never have gone out with Alec if I hadn’t known him through work.
Never.
”

“Wow. Thanks,” he said, laughing. “How immensely
flattering.”

“Me too. I mean, I got to know Gabe by us working together
too,” Mira said, as always a little flustered when everybody looked at her.
“Sort of.”

Dixie waved a liver-spotted hand. “Same difference, or maybe
even better. You met him where you could see him day in and day out, see how he
treated other people, how he acted when things didn’t go right. It’s easy to
act all nice and lovey-dovey taking a girl out on a date, trying to impress her.
It’s a whole different thing to do it every day.”

“You’re right there, not that I’d ever argue against church
as the best dating service,” Dave said. “But if you want a marriage to work,
you have to be able to work things out when the going gets rough. That’s where
I’d disagree with you, Dixie. Joe doesn’t have to talk much, but he has to talk
some. You can’t fix things if you can’t talk them over.”

“So true,” Alec sighed. “I can attest to that. Rae tells me
I’m wrong, and I tell her she’s right, and there you go, we’ve talked it over.
Problem solved.”

“I do not,” Rae laughed. “We don’t argue much because I’m so
good at knowing what you want, I’ve already made it happen.”

“Also true,” he said. “And in Mira and Gabe’s case, Mira
thinks Gabe’s perfect, so they’ve got no differences to work out at all. That’s
the other approach.”

“That is not true,” Mira protested. “We have differences. I
know he isn’t perfect.”

“All right,” Alec challenged. “Name my brother’s
imperfections.”

“Well . . .” She hesitated. “He doesn’t like to use his turn
signal,” she finally produced with triumph.

“Uh-huh. He doesn’t like to. But he does?”

“Well, yes,” she admitted. “If he’s driving me. Because I
don’t like him not to.” Even Mira had to laugh at that one, which put her in
company with the rest of the room.

“Oh, yeah. He’s an outlaw,” Alec said. “And let’s hear
Mira’s flaws, Gabe. Since we’re sharing.”

“Not critical enough,” Gabe said with a smile. “Come on. I’m
not answering that. I may only have been married six months, but I’ve already
got the cardinal rule down. Girlfriend: sometimes right. Wife: usually right.
Pregnant wife: always right. And wife pregnant with twins: infallible.”

That caused an outburst that didn’t die down for a full
minute, during which Mira was laughing, pink with pleasure, and Susie had come
around to hug her, and Gabe had put his arm around her, looking, Alyssa thought,
like he’d personally done something incredibly clever and talented, because he
was obviously pleased as punch and twice as proud of himself.

“You’ve got that one right,” Dave said at last, wiping his
eyes on his napkin. “Twins. The fun is just beginning.”

“Let’s see, Mira,” Alyssa said, pulling her sister-in-law up
from her chair and taking both her hands, standing back to check out her
waistline. “I
thought
you were
looking pudgy.” Which caused everyone to howl even more.

“What’s your due date, Mira?” Susie asked when the laughter
had died down.

“July twentieth,” she said, sitting down again, still
looking flushed and flustered, but so happy.

“Oh, perfect,” Susie exclaimed. “Halfway through my summer
break from school. Though twins will probably come early. Even better.” Her
mother still worked at the elementary school secretary job she’d held for
years, seemingly happy to stay. “I do get to come and help, don’t I?” she asked
in sudden alarm. “Before the babies, and afterwards? I could stay in the trailer,”
she began to plan, “so I’d be out of your way, and Dave could come down from
time to time.”

“And just like that, I’ve lost my wife of thirty-six years,”
her husband said in resignation. “I can see I’m going to be spending the next
six months saying, ‘Repeat after me. These are
Mira’s
babies. Not your babies.
Mira’s
babies.’”

“Of course I want you to come,” Mira said hastily. “Of
course I do. I’d be so happy. I’d be so
grateful.”
She was actually crying, Alyssa saw with some shock. “Sorry,” she said,
gulping a little, laughing, but still crying. “Hormonal. I’m crying at phone
company commercials. But I want you. I do.”

“You’ll want her more when you see how much work twins are,”
Dave said. “You have no idea. And people say God doesn’t have a sense of
humor.”

Susie looked at him and laughed. “Oh, dear. It’s so true.
But oh, my goodness, Mira, you’re already so far along!”

“Ten weeks,” she said, brushing at her eyes with an
apologetic laugh of her own. “But we didn’t want to steal Desiree and Alec’s
thunder from the wedding, so we thought it would be better to wait to tell
everyone.”

“Pretty fast work there, bro,” Alec said.

“Thanks. I do my best,” Gabe said modestly. “But,” he added
seriously, “it’s because we knew we wanted to have more than one. Of course, we
didn’t realize we’d be having more than one right out of the gate.”