Assure Her (Assured Distraction Book 1) (28 page)

“I’m excited to meet them, since I’ve never had a cousin!”

“We’ll see how excited you still are when they leave!” The three shared a laughed.

“I laid awake thinking of all the things I still want to know. It’s so hard to decide what’s important and what can wait,” Chandler said, taking the mug of coffee Kate offered.

“Fire away. We are happy to answer anything we can.”

“Why do y’all call him Brax, for one thing?”

Kate looked for a moment at her husband then turned back to Chandler. “Before your mom died, the band was called ‘Bridges Burning’. Laina had helped them choose that name. The label wanted them to change to ‘something more... edgy’ is what Brax said. We mentioned that after she died, he fell into a bad time and he wrote a lot of the songs that were from his heart, but they were dark. He called us one day and said the label wanted his name on the music, so he chose ‘Steel’. He said it was ‘cold and stood up by itself against everything else’, which was how he felt. Never told us where the ‘Ryder’ came from. But he started calling himself Ryder Steel after that, and later formed the band he’s with now, called ‘Steel’ which stuck and is now famous.”

“That’s a sad story. Until recently, I don’t think I could imagine what he went through, but now I can understand his emotions, and him finding solace in music. I’m a musician, too. I’ve been playing all of my life. It has a way of speaking to me like nothing else.” She looked up at them and they were both giving her a look as they stared back at her. “What is it?”

“That sounds like it could just as easily describe your dad, too. He could never be without that old guitar we gave him when he was just a kid. When he started getting good at playing, we could tell what kind of mood he was in by the way he played. He told me once that music gave him a place to go to where he knew everything was going to be OK, no matter what happened around him.” Allen wrapped his arms around Chandler as he spoke. “It seems like he passed that on to you, as well.”

The back door swung open hard, slamming against the wood frame, announcing the arrival of two whirlwinds of energy. Two boys ran in and gave Kate a hug. “Dad says we are meeting a new cousin today,” the older of the two said.

They halted mid-hug when both boys spotted Chandler, and the youngest pulled his grandmother down to ear level, and whispered to her, “Is that her?”

“Yep! Boys, this is your cousin, Chandler. Chandler, this is Jaxon and Hudson. Boys, say hello to your new cousin.”

Jaxon, the older of the two, put his hand out to shake, and Chandler walked closer and took it. Hudson stood back, next to Kate who was trying to urge him forward, but he was having none of it.

When his older brother looked at him, he said, “Dude, she’s your cousin. She ain’t gonna hurt you.” This earned him a warning glare from his grandmother.

Chandler didn’t want Hudson, or anyone, to feel uncomfortable with her, so she squatted to the little guy’s level and stuck her hand out and smiled at Hudson. He looked at her wearily for a moment, then reluctantly reached his hand out but instead of shaking it he jumped into Chandlers arms and wrapped his small arms around her neck, surprising her and overwhelming her so much that her eyes instantly flooded with tears. This connection was something she had never experienced until now. She loved him already.

James, watching the scene from the doorway, spoke up, “OK, let’s let Chandler breathe there, Hud.”

They both let go of each other and stepped back to look at each other, and couldn’t help the big smiles on their faces. It was a special moment that the entire family took notice of, too.

Jax started with the questions, “Are you Uncle Brax’s daughter?”

“Yes, I believe I am.” Chandler looked at their grandparents, who were beaming with joy.

The family spent the morning getting better acquainted, and Chandler loved being with them all, especially the boys. It gave her a chance to enjoy childhood in a way that she never had when she was growing up.

Hudson finally sat next to her at the kitchen table and asked, “Are you going to be staying here with us forever now?”

“Oh no, Hud. I wish I could, but I have a house in Austin. But, you know what. Your mom and dad could bring you to my house to visit for the weekend sometime. We can swim in the pool all weekend.”

“That would be fun but I don’t have a mommy,” Hud added without any emotion to his statement.

Chandler looked over at James with a sympathetic frown, and said, “That’s OK, I don’t have one either. But you, Jax, and I can have a great time, just the three of us!” He seemed happy with this plan and took off to go find his brother.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” Chandler apologized, turning a sad eye toward James.

“Hey, don’t worry about it at all. The boys are OK. We talk about her all the time and she will always be a part of our lives. She died of cancer when Hud was two. He doesn’t remember her and Jax barely does. But we’re good.”

Kate bustled into the room then, interrupting the conversation, straightening up and talking of dinner plans. Chandler said goodbye to James and the boys for now, and went back to her room. She realized she needed to check-in with reality and call KeeMac. She turned on her phone for the first time in three days, and found a hundred text messages and her voicemail full. She knew he was probably all kinds of pissed and probably hurt that she took off the way she had, but she wasn’t sure she was really ready to face all of that.
Come on Chan, time to tie up loose ends.
She sent a text to his cell and waited for a reply that never came. After a couple of hours, she decided he was probably truly angry, and not willing to talk to her, so she called him but it went straight to his voicemail. She hung up without leaving a message, mostly because she just didn’t know what to say. She fell asleep after deciding to wait and see if he wanted to talk.

****

A
light knock on her door woke Chandler some time later and Kate stepped in quietly. “Chandler, honey. I’m so sorry to wake you but you have a visitor.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. No, it’s OK. I didn’t plan to nap. I guess I was more tired than I thought. Wait, I have a visitor? But no one knows where I am.”

“Well, if I had a young man as good-looking as this one coming to visit me, I wouldn’t want to keep ‘him waiting,” Kate snickered at her own comment, and held the door open. A second later KeeMac walked into the room then Kate closed the door behind him.

Chandler gave him a momentary look of shock, then jumped up and leapt into his arms. He caught her around her waist and wrapped her in a tight embrace, burying his face in her neck and hair. “My God, Chan! I have been so fucking worried about you. I took a chance coming here, after Cash was able track down a possible address. I wasn’t sure where you’d gone, but I knew if you were here I had to see you immediately so I just drove on out. What the fuck were you thinking, Chan? I should turn you over and whip your ass for doing something so stupid at a truck stop!”

Glad that Kate had shut the door to give them some privacy, Chandler kissed him until she was dizzy from the connection. “I don’t know what I was thinking, honestly. I suppose I wasn’t thinking rationally at all. I just had to get away and think for a while though, figure out what I wanted to do next. It’s been such a mind-blowing last few months. I think the closer we got to home, the more restless I was feeling and I finally just needed some space to think. And I felt like I needed to know if I had family, before I could move forward, decide on a direction, ya know?”

“That’s fine, baby. But Chandler, you don’t have to do it alone. I am here for you. The band is here for you too. We will be your family. You don’t need a douchebag sperm donor who doesn’t want you.
I want you.
Heck, we all want you!”

She mulled that over for a moment, looking at Keeton. Nothing he said had changed anything for her though, and she needed to find a way to make him understand. “Thank you, Keeton. And as nice as that sounds, I still have to figure out my own way now. Jacoby is going to be ready to go back out with y’all on the next leg, and that leaves me unemployed and alone in Austin again.”

“You see, Chan, that’s where you got it all wrong.” He gave her that famous smirk. “Pussy-whipped Jacoby is leaving the band. Devil-bitch Janae convinced him to go back to school and stay in Austin with her. They are getting married. So, it just so happens that AD now needs a full-time keyboard player, and the band unanimously decided to hire a fucking
woman
for the job. Can you believe that shit? Yeah! It’s going to suck and probably going to cause all kinds of shit living on the bus with a
woman
but we’ll all grow a pair and deal with it. But no leaving panties hanging in the bathroom though! So, what do you say: ready to come back and be a rock star with us?” He planted soft kisses on her pink lips. “Ready to play music with the hottest new rock band on the music scene?” Another kiss. “Mostly though, Chan, please be ready to come back to me?” Another kiss. “God, girl. You’ve gotta know I love you.” Another kiss. “You don’t know how batshit crazy I’ve been without you, worrying about you.” He ended with a long slow kiss that warmed her all the way to her toes.

“I love you, but can I get back to you on that offer?” she asked, a wily smirk playing on her lips.

“What?” He thought he had done a great job convincing her.

“I have the matter of a long-lost daddy to deal with, and even if he doesn’t want me, I have a family here that I’ve gotten to know a little and could spend forever loving.”

“Then let’s deal with his lame ass together, because he just has no clue what he’s fucking missing not having you in his life.” That earned him a longer kiss from her.

“Are you sure this is what you and the rest of the Assured guys want? What does Cash have to say?”

“First of all, fuck Cash. He may be our manager but he damn sure doesn’t own us! That doesn’t matter though, because he’s a hundred percent on board with it.”

“And how long before we leave again?” She knew it was another snap-decision but that was how her life seemed to be panning out lately. The last two months had her feeling a little off-kilter. She had lived such a controlled life for her first twenty-one years and now it was a big adjustment not having everything planned out and structured, and she found herself having to fight the long-learned reflex to have everything in her life perfectly orchestrated. But control-be-damned, she was living for herself now. It was time to learn to go with the flow and see what it was like to really
live
.

––––––––

S
aying goodbye to her new family was difficult. They assured her they would get to see her as soon as the band played anywhere near Austin. Having just found each other, the last thing any of them wanted to do was lose each other again. Chandler promised the boys to Skype with them when their dad let them.

With tears in her eyes, she left with KeeMac and headed back to Austin. They had a week before hitting the road again with Frisson. Now that she knew what she would be dealing with on the road, she could make better decisions on packing and shopping for the road. Driving back to Austin took less than an hour, even in the typically heavy traffic. KeeMac’s phone started ringing before they made it to his condo.

“Hey, Cash. What’s up, dude?”

“Did you find her? Are you with her now? Is she OK?”

“Yeah, she’s good. She’s right here. We are headed home now.”

“Good, y’all need to come to the studios first.”

“We’re kinda tired and have some fucking plans, man. Can’t it wait?”

“No, it cannot wait. Bring her to the studios now, please.”

“Guess we are going to stop by the studio first. Cash is being a dick and wants us there now.”

They arrived at 13 Recordings almost an hour later thanks to the afternoon traffic, and walked in the front doors where Peri greeted Chandler with a big hug. “I’m so glad he brought you home! I’ve been worried about you girl.”

“I’m fine. I think I finally have a handle on my life again. I still have some stuff to sort out but I think I’m moving forward again.”

“Good, ‘cause we have a little situation here that needs your attention, so I know Cash will be happy when he sees you.”

Her comments seemed cryptic and made Chandler apprehensive about what was happening.
This couldn’t be about paperwork for the second part of the tour?
Last time they called her in for something she’d gotten really bad news.
God, what more bad news would they possibly be able to dump on me?
She tried to steel herself in preparation for whatever was about to be thrown her way. “What’s going on, Peri?”

“Y’all go on back to the main studio. Cash is waiting for you in there.” Chandler took a discerning look at her friend as she passed and started toward the back but KeeMac lingered, trying to read the expression on Peri’s face for some indication of what was going on. She simply gave him her sweet-as-pie smile like she was sure everything was going to be ok.

Opening the door to the studio where she first met the band, Chandler saw them huddled around someone on a stool in the middle of the room playing guitar, and the music was beautiful. She wondered who they were working with. When Gunner looked up and saw her, he stopped the player and everyone backed up. Ryder was staring at her.

Chandler stopped mid-stride and took a step back into KeeMac. All he could do was hold her up, not knowing how she would react, or what Ryder was going to do this time around.

Ryder stood and handed off his guitar to the first person to grab it. He walked toward Chandler with an expression of fondness in his eyes and tried to take her hands, but she pulled back instantly as if afraid to touch him again. As much as she wanted the connection, his earlier rejection still stung, and letting him being burned again was not high on her list. She waited to hear what he had to say.

“I know I deserve that,” he admitted softly. “But if you will give me a chance, please, let me talk to you alone for a few minutes? I promise, if you don’t want me to stay when I’m done, I’ll leave and you won’t have to worry about having contact with me again.”