Authors: Karen Anders
As their eyes met, she saw his glittering on the edge of control. He entered her in one powerful stroke, filling her, touching off another explosive climax that only fueled him. He wrapped his arms around her and crushed her to him.
He moved slowly and she could tell by his taut muscles it cost him. He kissed her softly, tenderly.
She slid her hands down his back, over the hot, flexing, sweat-slick muscles. Then her fingers stretched over the tight, rounded mounds of his buttocks. She caressed and squeezed, urging him to increase his tempo until he was pumping his hips into her, frantic with the need for release they achieved, one on the heels of the other.
Afterward they dozed, exhausted, replete. Chris settled on his side with one leg thrown across Sia. She turned toward him and curled up against him as his arms came around her and pulled her closer. She caressed his face, the sharp cheekbones, ran her thumb across his mouth, loving the texture of his skin.
Inside she felt a heaviness settle on her as she met his eyes. There was no satisfaction in them, no triumph, just a deep sadness that connected with her own heavy heart.
Her brain scrambled to make sense out of the constant flux with the reaction of her body and her heart. It was all such a huge jumble. There was no way she could make a rational judgment. Not with him looking at her like that, and her wanting all sorts of things that were on the verge of impossible.
Their past still loomed, and with this new information that still had her reeling, she lost her anchor. Then he cupped her cheek and turned her gaze to his when she looked away in a vain effort to regroup.
“Does it help to know?” he whispered in the dark stateroom.
“Know what?”
“Who might have been responsible for the death of your brother. She used me like a weapon and killed the wrong man. Does it help?” he asked, never more sincere, real concern outlined in every inch of his handsome face.
This time her heart didn’t skip; it stopped altogether, then thundered on with such ferocity she felt it might explode from the sudden intensity of it.
“Don’t,” she said softly, her voice catching. She buried her face in his neck. “Just hold me, Chris. Tighter,” she said. “As if you’ll never let me go.”
“I remember, Sia. All the time. I remember what it was like to be with you, hold you. I thought I had gotten over you, but it seems that I was wrong. I don’t know what we’re accomplishing with this trip down memory lane, but I can’t say that I wouldn’t do it again. I’ve missed you, sweetheart.”
Guilt and shame welled up in her that he could be so generous and she was unable to get past what had happened. There were going to be more questions for Susan Cotes. But would there be any answers for Sia?
“Talk to me. Tell me what is in your heart. It’s just a matter of saying the words. I won’t pressure you after this. Just tell me. Does it make a difference?”
This was killing her, twisting her heart and emotions into painful, complicated knots. Did she still love Chris? Did finding out Rafael’s death had been a result of an attempt on Chris’s life help? Could she turn away from a once-in-a-lifetime relationship again?
“I don’t know, Chris.” Her voice broke and she buried her face in his neck, her hot tears spilling out against his smooth skin. He tightened his hold, which only made her cry harder. She didn’t deserve his comfort, trapped in her own bitterness and pain.
In that moment, she realized with such clarity how she had betrayed him, abandoned him. Even now, she couldn’t come to terms with her own actions. It was easier to continue to blame him, take what little time they had together, then part when it was over.
“I simply just don’t know.”
Chapter 10
D
awn was breaking across a tumble of heavy gray clouds. Sia tucked her hands in her coat pockets and made her way toward the bridge followed closely by the master-at-arms she’d requested to accompany her. The wind picked up and snatched at her tightly pinned hair beneath her hat.
She was still trying to make sense of everything that had happened in the last day. But she still had a job to do. When she reached the bridge, she removed her cover and found the captain drinking a cup of coffee as he surveyed information on a clipboard.
“Good morning, Lieutenant. I’m afraid we have some rough seas ahead of us. There’s a storm between us and the coast. No way to go around it. We’re going to push to land. I’m going to clear the flight deck and restrict all crew to their quarters. Are you aware of safety procedures in the case of an emergency?”
“Yes, Billy—Commander Stryker went over them with me after I boarded. I’m up to speed.”
He nodded. “Good work on getting Washington’s killer.”
“About that, sir.” She pulled out the sheaf of papers she’d brought with her. “We suspect there are more.” She handed him the pages and he shuffled through them, staring at the pictures of all the dead pilots and their resemblance to each other.
“Son of a bitch,” he said softly.
“We, Special Agent Vargas and I, believe all these men were her victims. But at this point we don’t have any proof.”
“What do you plan to do?”
“Get a confession. We think the killer has some deep-seated issues regarding pilots. The first guy was probably pushed to his death. He was either lured to the deck or was a case of opportunity.”
“You have my permission to do whatever it takes to get the confession. You’re a lawyer. I don’t have to remind you of the law.”
“Sir, there’s something else. Something I didn’t mention when I boarded because I didn’t know it was part of this investigation.”
“Go on.”
“Special Agent Vargas and I know each other. We had a relationship six years ago when he was stationed aboard the
McCloud
. He was involved in a midair crash that killed my brother, Rafael Soto. We believe he was the intended target of the killer and my brother died as a result of the attempt on his life.”
“I was briefed on the incident when I took control of this vessel five years ago. I sense you have an agenda here, Commander. Perhaps you should tell me what it is.”
“Sir, I never meant to harbor any secrets. Until this evidence came to light, I always believed it had been an accident. I also believed my brother was blameless in the matter. But now, with this new evidence, I was hoping you would recommend to SECNAV that my brother’s case get a review so he has a chance to be cleared of the pilot-error ruling. I want to petition to have him memorialzed at the Navy Memorial.”
“You get me a confession and I’ll petition to clear both their names.”
“I don’t know how Chris feels about it, sir.”
“You didn’t consult him?”
“No, our relationship has been strained. I didn’t want to presume too much on his behalf, but I will relay your promise to him.”
Sia turned to leave. When she reached the door, the captain said, “I’m sorry for your loss, Commander. You’re a fine credit to this Navy. Your brother would have been proud.”
“Thank you, sir.”
When she got to the base of the ladder, she could see the bustle of the crew working to get the deck cleared and the jets stowed below in the hangar. As she turned to go inside and head back to her quarters, she spied Chris standing on the deck. He looked forlorn and alone as the wind caught in his dark hair. His face was impassive as he confronted his ghosts and she had no doubt that’s exactly what he was doing. She watched as he clenched trembling hands.
Her heart ached for him. He was part of the past she wanted to forget, part of the bitterness and the grief and the pain.
* * *
Chris stood on the windblown deck trying to rein in his emotions. Trying to come to grips with his own loss.
It had been more, Rafe,
he said.
I lost more than you that day. I lost Sia. I lost a family and I lost my nerve. But I’ve got to finally, finally come to terms with it.
Once he had known dreams of love and family and the kind of ordinary success that most men strove for, but he’d been shown in no uncertain terms that life had a way of taking you and tossing you around like a rag doll to lie broken where you fell. That life had blown up in his face, and he had had to live with the fact he’d been the one to lay the powder and light the fuse, or so he had thought.
What he had rebuilt for himself in the aftermath was simple and basic, he reminded himself as he watched the last jet sink onto the deck of the carrier; the sound of the hydraulic platforms descending into the belly of the deck was snatched away by the wind.
As it disappeared, he let his pain go with it, let his guilt and his shame disappear. He clenched his hands into fists as he struggled with the hope that one day Sia could do the same. He didn’t want simple and basic anymore. He wanted the
more
he had lost.
With the thought of her, he felt her small hand curl around his fist. He opened his hand and grasped hers. The warmth was welcome as it radiated from his hand to his empty heart.
“There’s a storm brewing. The captain is restricting crew to quarters for the duration.”
“That include us?”
“Yes, but in light of this new information regarding the GHB, I want to reinterview Lieutenant Russell and Monroe. If we can place Susan in the wardroom at the same time as both pilots, that gives us stronger evidence that she had the opportunity to spike both of their drinks. I also have the captain’s permission to work on Susan Cotes and get her to confess. We have the information to present to her. I also asked for my brother’s case to be reopened and considered.”
He turned to her. “Don’t you think that was premature? We don’t have a confession yet. We don’t have anything that links her to that accident.”
“We will. We have to. The captain said he would also petition to clear your name.”
“I don’t need my name cleared. It doesn’t matter anymore. The past is over and done with. I’m moving on.”
“Surely you can’t mean that. What you did with the Navy means something. It has to. If it doesn’t, then my brother’s death means nothing. I can’t bear that.”
He turned to her and pulled her close. “I didn’t say that what I did here didn’t mean anything, Sia.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I wish it was as easy for me to let go,” she said.
“But you can’t.”
“Not yet. Maybe never. I don’t know.”
She grasped his hand and pulled him toward the decks below. They went to her quarters and when the door shut behind them, they didn’t pretend.
His mouth found hers with evidence of a keen-edged need that was reciprocated. This time would be different from last night. He wanted to unleash the need he had for her that lurked just beneath the surface.
The air crackled with the electricity they created. His mouth went in search of hers, and their tongues tangled. He pushed at her clothing until he got it all off her, and she did the same.
He bent his head to catch her nipple in his lips and sucked strongly from her. Her knees buckled in sudden violent response. Her fingers went to his hair, unconsciously drawing him closer as the sensations crashed over him, one wave after another.
She cupped his heavy shaft and he surged into her soft hand. It was shockingly arousing to be touched by her and he knew he would never get enough. He slipped his hand between their bodies, found her warm, wet heat and stroked a finger inside her. She cried out, her fingers tightening around him. His mouth went to her other breast in a dual assault that was engineered to make her unravel fast.
His voice was ragged, muffled against her skin. “The bunk.”
Her touch grew more deliberate. “I want you inside me. Now.”
His breathing ragged, he gave her a long, deep kiss, and began to move her toward the bunk. She apparently had no intention of cooperating. “The bunk,” he panted, his mouth moving to her jaw, her ear, her throat. “Now, Sia.”
Instead she went to her knees before him, pressed her lips against his hardness. He shuddered and groaned, throwing his head back at the feel of her soft mouth taking him. She traced her tongue down the length of him, exploring him with lips and tongue, until he hauled her to her feet and into his arms.
Her mouth met his fiercely. Her kiss evoked a violent response in him. He responded to her violence with more of the same, demanding an answer. He backed her against the bulkhead, then reached down and lifted her leg over his hip.
The need in her clear brown eyes aroused him beyond his limits. “Chris.” He pressed his mouth to hers and swallowed the sound while cupping her bottom and lifting her to impale her with one long stroke.
The sweet velvet slide of his shaft inside her, the delicate pulsations as her body adjusted to his invasion, was almost more than he could bear.
Surging forward, he heard her moan and went in search of her mouth. Sealing it with his, he positioned his hips, thrusting hard and deep, wringing wild cries from her. Her legs were wrapped around him, her arms clinging to his shoulders. Each savage thrust flattened her breasts against him and the exquisite sensations threatened to send him over the edge.
Fingers digging into her bottom, he held her steady as he pounded into her, his vision graying, beginning to blur. He dimly felt her heels pressing into his back, her body tensing, then clenching around him. He was blind, deaf to all but this woman.
When he felt her release, he lunged harder, buried himself inside her to the hilt and followed her into oblivion.
They made it, eventually, to the bunk. For a few minutes they lay there. Once their breathing softened and slowed, Sia turned to him. “You look like you came to some kind of closure up there on the flight deck.”
“Almost. I only need one more thing.”
“What is that?”
“You to say that you forgive me, Sia. Say the words.”
“Give me some more time, Chris. Just a little bit more.”
He sighed in disappointment, but Sia couldn’t seem to utter the words. She didn’t know why. She should. Chris really didn’t deserve this.
* * *
She had no idea what time it was when her eyes flew open. Nor could she say what had woken her from such a deep sleep. She went to move, then felt the weight of Chris’s arm folded across her back, holding her against him. She didn’t want to disturb him, but she was struggling to orient herself and her still-fuzzy brain took a moment or two to remember where she was and what she was doing there.