At Home with Mr Darcy (2 page)

Rose sighed. It had been her suggestion that they went on the first Purley Hall Austen holiday and she was beginning to wonder if she’d made a huge mistake.

Finally, after squashing yet more hats into a bag and being persuaded that she really didn’t need her velvet cloak, Dame Pamela was ready to leave. Robyn had said a tearful goodbye to Dan and Cassie and had made her husband promise to ring her if anything –
anything
was to go wrong.

‘What could
possibly
go wrong?’ he’d said, bending his tall frame to kiss his wife, the light catching his red-gold hair. Robyn had had a little wobble. What was she thinking of – leaving like this?

It’s only for a few days
, she’d reminded herself and, with a final kiss on Cassie’s rosy cheek, she’d joined Dame Pamela at the hall.

‘Oh, Purley! My beloved Purley!’ Dame Pamela cried dramatically, looking up at the towering splendour of the place she called home.

‘I’m sure Dan and Higgins will take excellent care of everything,’ Robyn assured her.

‘Yes, yes, of course,’ Dame Pamela said, batting her eyelashes as if blinking away tears. Robyn smiled. Dear Pammy would always be the actress, wouldn’t she? Mind you, Robyn could feel tears vibrating in her own eyes.

‘Ready?’ she prompted.

‘I suppose so,’ Dame Pamela said and, in a rush of lilac chiffon, she boarded the minibus for the journey north.

The Wye Hotel on the outskirts of Bakewell was a fine building made of a warm beige stone. Set back from the road and dating from the early nineteenth-century, its three storeys were both impressive and elegant with comfortable airy rooms overlooking landscaped gardens and the countryside of the Peak District beyond.

For the duration of their stay, the party from Purley Hall had the hotel to themselves which included all of the single, twin and double bedrooms, the dining room, a sitting room with a very impressive fireplace and enough books to keep even the most voracious reader happy, and another sitting room in which had been placed – at the special request of Dame Pamela – an array of comfortable chairs, a large television and DVD player.

‘It’s our own private room,’ Mrs Baker, the owner of The Wye Hotel, had informed Dame Pamela when she’d asked if there were facilities for film nights.

‘And very generous it is of you too,’ Dame Pamela had told her, making a mental note to give her a framed signed photograph at the end of their stay. She always carried a few of them around with her wherever she went.

So, as Dame Pamela, Robyn, Rose and Roberta arrived, everything was set for the perfect weekend holiday. They only had to await the arrival of the other guests and they didn’t have to wait long. Katherine and Warwick had driven up from the Oxfordshire countryside in Warwick’s beloved Jaguar, and Mrs Soames had picked up by her daughter who lived in Doris Norris’s Cotswold village and had given her a lift too. Both cars arrived within ten minutes of each other and Dame Pamela and Robyn were on hand to greet them.

‘Katherine!’ Robyn screamed when she saw her dear friend. They embraced warmly. ‘How’s the new house?’

‘Old,’ Katherine said with a smile. ‘We have quite a bit of work to do on it but it’s so beautiful. Promise me you and Dan will come to visit us soon? We have a gorgeous guest room and Cassie will adore the gardens.’

‘We’d love to.’

‘How’s life at Purley?’ Katherine asked.

‘Busy, busy,’ Robyn said. ‘Always a wedding or a photo shoot or conference to prepare for. It’s wonderful. And Dan’s riding school is really taking off too.’

‘That’s brilliant,’ Katherine said.

‘Where’s Warwick?’ Robyn asked, looking around for Katherine’s husband.

‘Oh, he’s promised to bring the bags in as soon as he’s written something down. Inspiration struck him like a bolt of lightning as soon as we entered Derbyshire and he kept having to pull over to write.’

‘He’ll have to get a dictaphone,’ Robyn said.

‘He’s too self-conscious,’ Katherine explained. ‘He doesn’t like anyone to see his notes or his first drafts. He’s very private that way.’

‘And what’s that like to live with?’ Robyn asked. ‘Do you mind at all?’

Katherine shook her head. ‘As a fan of his books, I can’t help wanting to sneak into his study and take a look at what he’s up to. I’ve been really tempted a couple of times but I wouldn’t dare because I know what it’s like to work from home and I would hate anybody to betray my trust like that so I have to respect his wishes.’

‘And you’re happy at Hawk’s Hill?’

Katherine beamed a smile. ‘It’s the most amazing place. I feel like a Jane Austen heroine wandering around the Georgian rooms. It’s like living in a dolls’ house.’

‘It looks wonderful from the photographs you emailed us,’ Robyn said. ‘I can’t wait to see it.’

They were rudely interrupted as the figure of Mrs Soames crashed through the front door into reception.

‘Good heavens!’ she exclaimed as soon as she was inside. ‘This place was almost impossible to find. Could use a few more signposts,’ she told the young lady behind the reception desk who blushed furiously. ‘Lucky I didn’t get lost although I’m surprised we didn’t with my daughter’s map reading skills.’

Katherine and Robyn exchanged knowing glances and then Robyn took a deep breath and stepped forward.

‘Hello, Mrs Soames,’ she said, a big bright smile fixed on her face. ‘Have you thought about getting a sat nav? They’re very useful.’

‘And very expensive,’ Mrs Soames said. ‘What’s wrong with a cheap road atlas?’

‘But trying to read a road atlas makes me feel queasy,’ a little voice piped from behind the great tank of Mrs Soames and Robyn noticed Mrs Soames’ daughter for the first time. She was in her late forties and could only be described as mousy in terms of both looks and temperament. She had an expression on her face which suggested that she was permanently ill at ease with the world and yet there was a certain sweetness about her – a little light which danced somewhere in the depths of her hazel eyes.

‘And she really did try her best,’ Doris Norris said, stepping forward from where she too had been eclipsed by the enormous figure of Mrs Soames. ‘Hello Robyn, dear.’

‘Doris!’ Robyn said, leaning forward to embrace her. ‘How are you?’

‘Can’t complain,’ she said with a tiny smile, her cheeks a perfect pink.

‘No,’ Robyn whispered, ‘you leave that to somebody else, don’t you?’

Doris cast her eyes to the ceiling and Robyn shook her head in understanding. She did not envy Doris Norris her journey to Derbyshire.

‘Mrs Soames is
not
a natural driver,’ Doris whispered to Robyn as Mrs Soames continued her tirade against life to the poor young girl on reception. ‘She was forever pumping that brake and I’m sure we must have done at least six emergency stops. I think my neck might be out of joint.’

‘Oh, dear,’ Robyn said. ‘Well, let’s get you settled into your room and make you a nice cup of tea.’

‘Actually, I was hoping there might be a minibar,’ Doris said with a little giggle.

‘I’m not sure there is,’ Robyn said, ‘but I’m sure we could get you a little tipple from the hotel’s bar. Just leave it with me.’

‘What a sweetheart you are,’ Doris said, clasping Robyn’s hands in hers.

‘And you must be Annie?’ Robyn said, stepping forward. ‘I’m Robyn. We spoke on the phone.’

‘How lovely to meet you at last,’ Annie Soames said, shaking Robyn’s hand and giving her a lovely warm smile which lit up her pale face.

‘Anne!’ her mother barked, turning around. ‘Bring those bags.’

‘Yes, Mother,’ Annie said.

‘Poor girl,’ Doris said to Robyn. ‘She’s been barked at for the whole of the journey.’

Robyn shook her head. ‘Imagine having been brought up by Mrs Soames,’ she said, giving a little shiver.

It was then that a young woman walked into the hotel reception. She was carrying a neat red suitcase in one hand and a laptop in the other. It could only be one person: Melissa Berry the journalist. She was in her mid-twenties and had short dark hair that was cut in a flicky elfin style and her dark eyes were heavily made up with thick eyeliner and false eyelashes that gave her a sort of Bambi look only without the innocence for she had a sharp look.

She clocked Robyn straightaway and, putting her things down, strode across the reception, her manicured hand extended in greeting.

‘Melissa Berry,’ she said. ‘With
Vive!
.’

‘Good to meet you,’ Robyn said, her hand being mercilessly pumped. ‘I’m Robyn.’

‘Ah!’ Dame Pamela suddenly surged forward. ‘Ms Berry.’

‘Dame Pamela,’ Melissa said with a smile which Robyn didn’t quite trust. There was something at the edge of it – something which hinted at mockery.

‘I trust you will be comfortable here,’ Dame Pamela said, ‘and that you’re looking forward to finding out what it’s like to be true Janeite.’

‘Indeed I am,’ Melissa said.

‘Well, we’ll let you get settled in. Dinner will be at seven o’clock and then you can join us for the quiz.’

‘The quiz?’

‘Yes, we’re hoping you’ll join in,’ Dame Pamela said, laughing at the startled look on the young journalist’s face.

‘I don’t really know that much about Jane Austen,’ Melissa confessed.

‘Well, you will after this weekend,’ Dame Pamela told her.

Everybody was looking forward to the quiz. Except Melissa Berry. She had found it hard to understand why everybody was getting so excited. Quizzes were dull and boring, weren’t they? She really didn’t see the point in them. Still, it would give her a good opportunity to do what she was good at: people watch. So, with her notepad in hand, she headed into the sitting room.

It was a comfortable enough sort of a room but the little party found it hard not to miss the grandeur of the library at Purley Hall with its shelves of magnificent books, the warm glow from its lamps and candles and the attentive presence of Higgins the butler. Still, it looked jolly enough and lots of little tables had been put out for them at Robyn’s request.

‘Into pairs, everybody,’ Dame Pamela announced as Robyn handed out Purley Hall paper to everybody together with brand new pens which they’d had made featuring a beautiful black and white image of Purley.

‘Can we keep these, dear?’ Doris Norris asked.

‘Yes, they’re yours,’ Robyn said.

‘How lovely,’ Doris said.

‘I hope they don’t leak,’ Mrs Soames said, clicking hers on and off repeatedly and peering hard at the nib. ‘I once had a ghastly experience with a pen in my handbag – leaked all over that nice lace handkerchief from Stow on the Wold, remember, Anne?’

‘Yes, Mother,’ Annie said. ‘I remember.’

Everybody had got into pairs. There was Katherine and Warwick, Mrs Soames and Annie, Rose, Roberta and Doris who were allowed to form a group of three as Robyn couldn’t make up a pair as she’d helped Dame Pamela to set the questions.

‘Melissa!’ Robyn called across the room. ‘Come and join us.’

Melissa looked up from where she was sitting scribbling in her notepad, gave a weak smile and got up.

‘What do you think she was writing?’ Doris asked.

‘Probably just making notes about the hotel,’ Robyn said, ‘and what we’re all up to.’

Joining them at their little table, Melissa cleared her throat.

‘I’m afraid I’m not likely to help much,’ she said, ‘I don’t know a single thing about Jane Austen.’

‘You don’t need to, dear,’ Doris said. ‘You’re amongst true Janeites here.’

‘I keep hearing that word,
Janeite
,’ Melissa said. ‘Is that something you made up yourselves?’

‘Good gracious, no!’ Doris exclaimed. ‘It’s been around since the 1890’s, hasn’t it, Robyn?’

‘That’s right. It was first used in an introduction to
Pride and Prejudice
by somebody called George Saintsbury. It’s rather good, isn’t it?’

‘Hmmmm,’ Melissa said, sounding unconvinced. ‘Surely Austenite would be better?’

‘We sometimes call ourselves Austen Addicts,’ Robyn said, ‘but never Austenites. Janeite is much more–’ she paused, ‘familiar, don’t you think? We all feel very close to our favourite author, you see. So it would be strange to refer to her as Austen all the time.’

Melissa nodded, her eyes narrowed as if in concentration.

‘I think we’re about to begin,’ Doris said as Dame Pamela held her hands up for silence.

‘Good evening, everyone,’ she said. ‘After that lovely dinner, how splendid it is to have this room at our disposal for our little quiz. Now, have we all got paper and pens? Good. Because I have a very special quiz for you tonight. Owing to our surroundings, I have devised some very special Derbyshire-based questions for you,’ Dame Pamela announced.

There were a few murmurs of approval from around the room.

‘So, are we ready to begin?’ she asked. ‘Question one: Elizabeth is joining the Gardiners on their trip to Derbyshire but where had they originally hoped to visit?’

From the other side of the room, Katherine leaned in towards Warwick. ‘The Lake District, she whispered.

‘Although it’s just referred to as “the Lakes”,’ Warwick said and Katherine nodded, jotting the answer down in her neat handwriting.

‘Question two: name any two real-life places which the party pass through en route to Derbyshire,’ Dame Pamela said.

From the amber-coloured sofa near the French doors, Roberta looked at Rose. ‘I think they mentioned Oxford,’ she said.

Rose nodded. ‘I’m pretty sure Blenheim was mentioned too.’

‘Put those down, then – they sound about right,’ Roberta said.

‘Number three,’ Dame Pamela said. ‘When Mr Darcy and Elizabeth are talking in the grounds of Pemberley, which two places do they discuss with “great perseverance”?’

‘Oh, that’s Matlock and Dovedale,’ Rose said to Doris.

‘I shall trust you on that one,’ Doris said. ‘My memory isn’t what it once was.’

‘Number four,’ Dame Pamela said. ‘Chatsworth House is, of course, used as Pemberley in the 2005 film adaptation staring Keira Knightley but which other film did Ms Knightley star in which was filmed at Chatsworth?’

‘Too easy!’ Mrs Soames declared, shaking her head in dismay as she wrote the title ‘The Duchess’ onto her piece of paper, not bothering to confer with her daughter about it.

The questions continued with some fiendishly difficult ones about the county of Derbyshire itself that had everybody in the room scratching their heads, and then the quiz was over and everyone wrote their team names at the top of their answer sheet and handed them to Dame Pamela and, whilst she marked them, tea and coffee was served.

Melissa was fidgeting in her chair, her pen in the corner of her mouth as she observed everybody. After the quiz had finished, she’d sneaked off to the hotel bar and had come back with a gin and tonic.

‘How you do guys
know
all this stuff?’ she asked Doris Norris.

Doris chuckled. ‘We spend far too much of our lives with our heads stuck in a book.’

‘That isn’t such a bad thing, though,’ Robyn pointed out. ‘Don’t forget that Mr Darcy believed that a woman could only improve herself with “extensive reading”.’

‘That’s right,’ Doris said.

‘That’s a quote, right?’ Melissa asked.

‘From
Pride and Prejudice
,’ Robyn said. ‘Have you read it?’

‘I skimmed it very quickly to get the gist for the piece I’m writing,’ Melissa said. ‘I watched some of the film with Keira Knightley but I didn’t see the end.’

‘Why not?’ Doris asked, her forehead creasing.

‘It really wasn’t my kind of thing,’ she said.

‘But you didn’t give it a chance,’ Doris said.

‘It just seemed to be one dull dance scene after another.’

Doris’s eyes widened in horror. ‘Dull?’

‘Forgive me for asking but why did you volunteer to come away with us?’ Robyn asked. ‘I mean, if you’re not really interested in all this.’

Melissa stared at Robyn for a moment as if she was wondering if it was wise to answer the question. Then she took a sip of gin and tonic and shrugged.

‘I just needed to get out of the office for a bit.’ It was then that Melissa’s phone rang. ‘Excuse me,’ she said, standing up and leaving the sitting room.

‘Now, there’s a young woman in need of Jane Austen if ever I met one,’ Doris Norris said and Robyn nodded in agreement, watching as Doris leaned across in her chair to where Melissa Berry had left her notebook.

‘Doris! What are you doing?’ Robyn asked in horror.

‘Oh, just taking a little look,’ Doris said.

‘You really shouldn’t be doing that.’

‘I guess not,’ Doris said, ‘because I left my glasses in my room.’

Robyn shook her head and anxiously looked towards the foyer where Melissa was still on the phone, shouting at somebody.

‘Robyn?’

‘Yes?’

‘What does
nescient
mean?’ Doris asked, squinting at the page before her.

‘Erm, I’m not sure,’ Robyn said.

Doris looked across the room. ‘Psssst! Katherine!’

Katherine looked up from her cup of tea as Doris motioned her over.

‘Doris!’ Robyn cried, anxious that Melissa would return at any moment.

‘Katherine, dear – what does “nescient” mean?’

‘It means a lack of knowledge. Ignorance. Why?’

‘Oh, dear,’ Doris said.

‘What is it?’ Robyn asked.

‘That’s how she’s described us,’ Doris said.

Katherine took the notebook from Doris and scanned it before sighing. ‘Is this the reporter’s?’ she asked.

Doris and Robyn nodded.

‘Then we’re in trouble.’

It was then that Melissa strode back into the room. Robyn quickly grabbed the notebook from Katherine and returned it to Melissa’s chair just in time.

‘Everything okay?’ Melissa asked as Katherine quickly returned to her seat next to Warwick.

‘Yes, yes.’ Robyn said. ‘Just getting up for a stretch. I’ve been sitting down too long today.’

‘Me too,’ Doris said. ‘My old bones need to get up and about every so often otherwise they’ll seize up.’ She did a funny little jig and Melissa’s eyebrows rose a fraction. Luckily, Dame Pamela distracted them with a clap of her diamond-encrusted hands.

‘Does she always wear so much jewellery?’ Melissa asked.

‘Always,’ Doris said. ‘Wonderful, isn’t it? She’s like Elizabeth Taylor only with a little more class.’

Robyn giggled. Doris Norris could be ever so naughty sometimes.

‘I now have the results of the quiz and a very good job you all did too. It was pretty close but we have a definite winner with an incredible twenty out of twenty.’ Dame Pamela paused, holding up a hand and making sure she had everybody’s undivided attention. ‘And the winning team is,’ she said, pausing again for dramatic effect, ‘Soames on the Roam! That’s Mrs Soames and her daughter, Annie.’

There was a big round of applause and Mrs Soames deigned to smile but it was so brief that it could have just been a facial twitch.

‘You see, Mother,’ Annie said, ‘I told you Mother Shipton’s cave wasn’t in Derbyshire.’

‘What are you talking about, girl? I never said that,’ Mrs Soames said, her great bosom rising in defence. Annie rolled her eyes.

‘Congratulations, ladies,’ Dame Pamela said, moving forward to shake their hands. ‘You will, of course, be receiving signed photos of me in my role as Marianne Dashwood in my heyday and I have gift vouchers for you here to spend at Chatsworth House tomorrow.’

Mrs Soames snatched the vouchers from Dame Pamela.

‘I’d better take care of these,’ she said to Annie. ‘You always lose things.’

‘I don’t always lose things,’ Annie said, taking a sip of tea to try and calm herself. This, she thought, was going to be a very long weekend. She’d dreamt of visiting Chatsworth House and Lyme Park – the two Pemberleys – for years but she was beginning to wonder if a weekend spent in her mother’s company was too high a price to pay.

Out in the foyer, Robyn, Doris, Katherine and Warwick were in deep discussion about Melissa Berry’s notepad.

‘What else had she written?’ Robyn asked.

Katherine frowned as she tried to remember. ‘She said that Jane Austen has had her time and that people should be focussing on modern writers now – writers who have something to say about the world we live in.’

Warwick scoffed. ‘But Jane Austen is still relevant today. I bet this woman would say the same thing about Shakespeare and Dickens. Just because they were writing in a different century doesn’t mean they’re outdated and have nothing to teach us.’

‘Of course,’ Katherine said. ‘We all know that and it’s something I always try to remind my students of too but it seems that this journalist is very set in her ways.’

‘It seems like she’s written her article on us already,’ Warwick said, shaking his head.

‘Dan warned me about this,’ Robyn confided.

‘Did he?’ Doris said.

Robyn nodded. ‘He said we’re easy targets and that we really shouldn’t have courted the press at all but Pammy was delighted at the idea of a journalist coming along with us.’

‘Ah,’ Katherine said, ‘this may come back to haunt her.’

‘We’ve got to warn everyone,’ Robyn said. ‘Don’t you think? I mean, we can’t just sit back and do nothing, can we?’

‘But what can we do?’ Doris asked. ‘The girl’s obviously made her mind up about us.’

A little smile spread itself across Robyn’s face. ‘We’ll just have to
un
make her mind up, won’t we? I mean, there are more of us than there are of her and we’ve got the whole weekend ahead of us.’

Warwick grinned. ‘Robyn’s right. Miss Berry is surrounded by some of the most ardent Janeites in England. If
we
can’t change her mind about Austen then nobody can.’