At Peace (51 page)

“Mike and I are together,” I whispered.

“Don’t play that game with me or with
him.”

“Step back,” I repeated.

“I’m warnin’ you, buddy, don’t play that
game.”

I shook my head and pleaded, “Joe, please,
step back. I do not need this shit.”

“Then don’t force it.”

“May I remind you, my brother just died!” I
cried.

“Yeah, you lose this attitude, I can help you
work that hurt out.”

Who was this man? He held onto his tragedy
for seventeen fucking years, how could he stand there and tell me
he could help me work through mine?

“Really, Joe? Like you helped me work out my
grief at losing Tim?” I asked sarcastically.

“
That’s not what I was offerin’, buddy, but
you want it like that I’ll give it to you.”

“You’re unbelievable,” I snapped.

“I’m yours.”

That socked me in the gut too, so hard it
winded me and all I could do was stare up at him.

Taking advantage, his face dipped close and
his hands curled around both sides of my head.

“First fuckin’ time you smiled at me in my
bed, that’s when it happened,” he murmured.

“Joe –”

“You’re under my skin.”

“Please –”

“I’m under yours.”

I shook my head and his face got even closer,
all I could see were his sky blue eyes, all I could feel were his
lips a breath away from mine.

“I like you there, buddy, and you like me
there too. Cut Mike loose.”

“You can’t belong to anyone. You’re Joe
Callahan, a one-woman man. The only one you ever belonged to was
Bonnie and she’s still got hold of you and always will no matter
how fucked up, crazy sad that was.”

His hands tightened on my head and he
said, “Don’t listen to ‘burg lore. It’s shit.”

“You held onto it for seventeen years,” I
pointed out.

“She killed my son,” he replied and my heart
lurched.

“
I know,” I whispered and my hands went to
his waist, wanting to touch him, needing it, after he said those
words, and doing it because I was crazy
insane
.

“You help me let that go, baby, I help you
with Sam.”

I shook my head but my hands clenched his
tee at his sides. “I can’t go back there again with
you.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t know when you’ll turn.”

“Buddy –”

“You’ve done it to me twice.”

“Vi –”

“And you’ve done it to the girls once.”

I watched him close his eyes, knowing I’d
scored a point and not feeling the least bit happy about it. But
something was happening here and for me, and my girls, I had to do
right this time.

So I pushed the knife in deeper. “Me, okay
Joe, but not my girls.”

He opened his eyes and locked them with
mine.

“You feel it, I know you do. You know it
isn’t done.”

“It has to be.”

“It isn’t. It won’t ever be.”

“It is, Joe.”

He didn’t respond, just stared into my
eyes.

Then his mouth moved until it was touching
mine.

Just with that touch, not even a kiss, my
body went soft, my hands quit clenching his shirt and slid around
to his back and a whimper glided out of my throat.

“
Tell yourself that, baby. But, look at
you,” he murmured, his voice gentle not gloating, our eyes still
locked, “you’re mine.”

Then his mouth went away but he bent his
head, let mine go, kissed my neck and he walked away, out the door
and I watched him through the window as he sauntered along my front
walk to his house.

I stood there, pressed to the wall for a long
time. It took awhile but I realized I was breathing heavily.

Then I slid down the wall, knees to my chest.
I wrapped my arms around my calves and hugged myself tight.

Then I pulled my phone out of my back pocket
and I called my girls.

They told me they were there, in the
cabin, unpacked and Dane and his Dad had the boat in the water. The
cabin was
way cool
and the
lake was
phenomenal.
They
were getting ready to go out on the boat and they sounded happy and
excited.

I’d made the right decision, making them go.
They had other things to think about, good things.

Sam would be glad.

When I was done talking, I slid my phone
closed.

That’s what I needed, exactly what I
needed.

It wouldn’t last long but it was
something.

I got up off the floor and went to go get
Mooch.

* * * * *

I sat wearing Mike’s t-shirt in Mike’s big
bed, my ass to the mattress, my shoulders to the headboard, a tub
of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream melting in my hand.

Mike was stretched out beside me, on his
side, head in hand, elbow in the pillow, eyes on me, wearing pajama
bottoms and nothing else (he had a nice chest, unbelievable abs,
the whole show leaner than Joe’s, not as bulky, not scarred, but
still amazing).

Layla was lying flat out on her side at the
end of the bed, Mooch curled in her chest. Both of them were passed
out due to the fact that they’d spent the last four hours pretty
much destroying Mike’s yard.

My cell was glued to my ear and Dane Gordon
was whispering to me through it.

“She’d be mad, Miz Winters, me tellin’ you
this.”

“That’s okay, Dane, I won’t tell her you
called.”

“Will you do it? Tomorrow morning? Let them
both off the hook?”

“Yeah, Dane, I’ll call.”

“We’ll come back Saturday, so we’ll have
another day and they won’t feel they’ll be screwin’ up my vacation
with my folks and Katy’ll let me stay home so I can be around… um,
for her, you know…”

Shit, but I liked this kid.

“Tell your folks I’ll keep you fed. You
want…” Damn, was I gonna do this? Yes, I was gonna do it. “You can
tell them I’m lettin’ you sleep on the couch.”

Mike made a choking noise that sounded like
swallowed laughter.

I glared at him.

“Yeah?” Dane asked in my ear, cut up because
Kate was cut up about her uncle, not wanting to be far from his
girl and the couch was as close as I wanted him to get.

“Yeah, Dane.”

“Okay,” he said and he sounded relieved.
“Gotta go, thanks Miz Winters.”

“Yeah. Bye Dane.”

“Later.”

I slid my phone closed and Mike slid it out
of my hand and threw it on his nightstand then he turned back to
me.

“Sweetheart, you are the biggest fuckin’
pushover I’ve ever seen.”

I slid my ass down his bed, pulling his shirt
down as I did it so as not to expose my panties and begged him,
“Please, shoot me.”

“It’s a six thousand dollar bed, darlin’, I
don’t want a bullet hole in it.”

I glared at him again then I threw my arm
over my eyes.

He pulled the ice cream out of my hand, I
felt him turn in the bed then he came back and pulled me into his
arms.

I shifted so my hands were on his chest and I
looked up at him.

“Talk to me,” he ordered quietly.

“
Well,” I pressed closer, “Dane says that
Kate and Keira are havin’ loads of fun but it’s all an act. He says
they’re sad, just coverin’ it up. He says they want to be home,
they’re talkin’ about me all the time. But he reckons they aren’t
askin’ to go home because they think I want them to say. And he
says I should call, say I want them to come home and that’ll let
them off the hook. But if I give them another day there, they do
their duty to Dane and his folks but also get to come home to me.
Dane drove down too so they’d have an extra car if the kids wanted
to go out and do something so he can drive them back.”

“Good kid,” Mike muttered.

“
Yeah,” I grinned at him, “Kate didn’t
inherit much from me but she got my taste in men.”

Mike burst out laughing and rolled into me,
his face going in my neck where he kissed me then his head came
up.

“Kate’s exactly like you.”

I blinked at him. “What?”

“Kate. She’s you. Totally.”

“She looks like Tim.”

“Yeah, but she acts like you, walks like you,
smiles like you. Keira has your smile too.”

“Really?”

“
Yeah, honey. They’re gorgeous but when
they smile…” he let that hang and he grinned at me.

I moved my hand from his chest to his face
and whispered, “Mike.”

He turned his head and kissed my palm. Then
he dipped his head, touched his mouth to mine and my arms wrapped
around him.

“I like bein’ here, with you,” I said against
his mouth.

His head came up and his eyes caught
mine.

“I like it too, sweetheart.”

Then for some reason killing a great mood, I
blurted, “I didn’t get things sorted with Joe today.”

His brows drew together and he asked, “You
didn’t talk to him?”

“I did, he kind of… didn’t listen.”

Mike rolled away to his back but I kept hold
of him and went with him as he muttered, “Fuck, Vi.”

I got up on an elbow and looked down at him.
“You can step back, honey, while I sort this out with him.”

His eyes locked on mine. “You want me to do
that?”

I did, to be fair to him.

And I didn’t, to be totally selfish.

“
Yes, to be fair to you,” I said and felt
his body tense. “No, to be totally selfish,” I finished, voicing my
thoughts aloud then I said, “but I know now where Joe’s at and if I
wasn’t me, but your friend, I’d advise you to step
back.”

“I gotta worry about this shit?”

“No.”

He studied my face then he said, “You
sure?”

“No.”

He looked at the ceiling. I dropped down and
pressed my forehead to his chest.

After awhile, I felt his hand slide into my
hair.

“This a ‘may the best man win’ situation,
sweetheart?”

“I’m not a prize, Mike,” I told his
chest.

“Yeah you are, Vi, the best fuckin’ prize
there is.”

My head came up and I looked at him. “We’re
talkin’ hearts, here. You don’t play games with hearts.”

He got up on his elbows but didn’t break eye
contact as he declared, “You’re wrong. Only games worth playin’ are
games of the heart.”

“Someone loses,” I whispered and he grinned,
did an ab curl and his arms wrapped around me.

He rolled me to my back, covered me with his
body and put his mouth to mine before he whispered, “Tonight, I
win.”

Then he kissed me.

Then he set about winning me.

At least for the night.

And he did.

Gotta Remind You

The next morning late, Mike leaving me at
his house in his bed after I gave him a drowsy kiss and went back
to sleep as he went off to work, I got up, took a shower, got ready
for the day at Mike’s house and I went home.

I had Mooch in one arm, my bag dangling from
my hand, my remote and key in my other hand and I let us in,
dropping my bag and Mooch who started instantly yapping his puppy
yaps toward the kitchen.

As I closed the door, I turned that way and
stared.

Joe was standing there, hand leaned into
the counter, phone to his ear, eyes, or I should say
irate
eyes, pinning me to the
spot.

“Yeah,” he said into the phone, his eyes
never leaving me as I stood frozen, staring at him. “You got it.
Don’t worry.” He paused then he said, “Yeah, even when you get
back.” He paused again then said, “I’ll tell her.” Another pause
then, “Yeah, later girl.”

Then he flipped his phone shut and tossed it
on the counter.

“What’re you doing here?” I whispered, Mooch
somehow reading my tone shut up, sat down by my foot and stared
with me at Joe.

“That was Kate,” he replied, his eyes still
skewering me.

“What?” I asked.

“She called yesterday, worried about you
bein’ alone. We made a deal.”

This didn’t sound good.

“
You…” I hesitated, “made a deal with my
daughter?”

“
Yeah,” he replied, not moving, staying
leaned deceptively casually against the counter as he spoke. “She
and Keira help me out with my house. I keep close and keep you
safe.”

“You made a deal with my daughters?” I
repeated, though with a frightening nuance of change to one
word.

“Works for me, seein’ as I don’t have a
kitchen or bathroom or furniture. Now, stayin’ with you, I do.”

My chest seized tight.

“Staying with me?” I breathed.

“She called just now to check in.”

I looked to his phone then to him, ruing the
day that I programmed Joe’s phone number into my girls’ phones.

“I –”

Joe cut me off. “You spent the night with
him.”

I pulled myself together and stated, “That
isn’t any of your business.”

“Thought I made myself clear yesterday,
Vi.”

“Yes, you did and I made myself pretty clear
too.”

“Yeah, baby, you did, fuckin’ whimpering the
minute my mouth got close.”

Shit, okay, he kind of had me there.

“Joe –”

“I told you not to play that game.”

“Joe –”

“You played it.”

I decided it was a good idea to start
retreating so I did. Mooch started yapping. Joe stood there
unmoving.

“I’d like you to leave,” I told him.

“You forgot,” he said and I stopped moving
backward.

“Forgot what?”

“Can’t imagine you did. I didn’t. I feel you
at night, even fuckin’ smell you, thought it was the same for
you.”

His words and all they meant washed over me
and I stopped breathing.

“Gotta remind you,” he murmured.

We locked eyes.