August 9th (9 page)

Hi Tess,

I hope you remember my old Stanford friend, Jeff, the nerd genius. He worked at the Palo Alto Research Center, a division of Xerox until last year when he decided to start his own company. Now he’s invented a new way to speed up the connectivity between computers and he recently gave a presentation at our office. The technology had most of us baffled but our resident techie at Rogers Schmidt thinks it’s brilliant.

At our partner meeting I was the primary advocate for investing in Jeff’s three man firm, but first we had to get a legal opinion from our attorneys and make sure there would be no claims from Xerox that the technology was developed while Jeff was employed by them. Our law firm interviewed Jeff, reviewed all his paperwork and concluded there was no conflict. That’s the okay we needed and Rogers Schmidt agreed to invest $1.2 million in Jeff’s company paid in three equal amounts upon
the completion of specified milestones. Because of my relationship with Jeff I’m more excited about this deal than any other we’ve ever done at the firm.

It’s always so easy to write about Caroline but always much more difficult to write about Ben. This past year Maggie and I made a conscious effort to get much more proactive in dealing with the challenges of autism. First, we’re going weekly to a parent’s autism awareness group organized by Ben’s school. At the meetings, run by a psychologist, parents share their experience and challenges in raising an autistic child. It’s very helpful to know how other parents cope with their kids and there’s a bonding that takes place between parents who can relate with what others are going through. We also learn what works and what doesn’t work for other parents.

The second action we’ve taken is to get involved with a local autism charity. Besides our financial donation Maggie had been chosen to be on their board. The mission of the charity is to increase the awareness of autism and raise money for autism research that will hopefully lead to successful treatment and eventually a cure. We’ve also met some wonderful people who have become good friends.

Our involvement with the parents group and the charity have substantially increased our knowledge of autism and also taught us that autism is a moving target in several ways. First, children’s behavior can change over time, even to the point of normalcy. Secondly, research is changing acceptable treatment. No one
would think of giving a child LSD, electric shock or other painful treatment as they did in the 60’s. Indeed, anyone who would, should be arrested.

Prescribed medication is currently a very controversial subject and much more research needs to be conducted before any specific medication is widely accepted. The problem is complicated because valid testing takes a long time and considerable expense. With new drugs being invented all the time the standards for testing create a slippery slope, especially if you’re a parent with an autistic child who wants so desperately to help their child. As I reread this paragraph it accurately reflects the complexity and confusion of addressing what to do as a parent of an autistic child.

Like autism itself, Ben’s behavior is a moving target subject to rapid change. We believe his therapy and special classes have helped his learning challenges and definitely have lessened his depression. He also seems to be much more comfortable with the familiar faces at school. We only hope to keep moving forward.

Caroline continues to be an absolute joy. Maggie and I agree her intelligence is far above where we were at her age and that’s been confirmed by both sets of our parents. Besides her smarts she is such a sweet caring little girl who just melts her dad’s heart. I’ve captured some remarkable movies of her interacting with Ben that’s priceless and guaranteed to bring tears to your eyes.

The good news is that everyone in our families had a healthy year. I’ve even started to run. It means I get
up at five and run mostly in the dark but it’s been very worthwhile. Besides losing 10 lbs I feel and sleep better. On weekends I run with a neighbor who’s trying to talk me into running a 10k. We’ll see.

Tess, writing a letter on the same date each year to the same person with whom I have such a unique relationship reads like a book or a movie. I continue to believe you’re receiving and reading my letters. Thank you for your silent voice and all you represent.

Hi Tess,

We have recently become a musical family. Caroline asked for and received a guitar for her ninth birthday on July 8. Now, only a month later she’s trying to play the Neil Young songs she already sings. As much as I love his music I’m not sure it’s the best choice for a nine year old girl.

The day after Caroline’s birthday Ben tried to play her guitar like a drum. So, we did the obvious and bought a small drum set for our son. He loves to bang on them and I think it’s almost therapeutic for him. I wish I could say the same for my ears.

In December we took our first long distance family vacation and flew to Disney World. We stayed at the Disney Polynesian Resort and had a great time. Having been to Disneyland a half dozen times I couldn’t believe how big Disney World was. It sure makes Disneyland seem small. Most importantly, Ben seemed to enjoy
himself and any worry we had for him on the plane was unjustified. It was really a lot of fun traveling as a family and of course I’ve got photographs to prove it.

Maggie and I are both getting more and more involved in the search to find effective treatment and a cure for autism. I was told by a researcher that the number of reported cases keeps growing and a wide range of potential causation factors are being investigated including environmental toxins such as mercury contained in air pollution, pesticides and vaccines. The cause of autism remains a baffling mystery.

One spring afternoon I left work early to pick Caroline up from school. After I gave her a big kiss she asked me, “Daddy can I have an Apple?” My response seemed logical, “Sure, wait till we get home and you can have all the apples you want.” “No Daddy, not that kind of Apple, I want an Apple computer, a Macintosh.” I almost hit a parked car.

Apparently one of the kids at her school has an Apple computer. That makes sense since I think her friend’s dad works for Apple. I told Caroline I had a surprise for her at home, but before she got too excited I had to tell her it wasn’t a computer. Once we got home I told her to sit in the kitchen and have an apple while I got her surprise. I then went to the desk in our bedroom and pulled out my Charles Schwab statements to show her the Apple stock she owns. What followed was a simple lesson on the stock market, stock ownership and investing. From that day forward, Caroline makes it a habit to check the share
price of Apple at least once a week. To make the story complete, Caroline got her Apple computer for her ninth birthday and her dad just loves her Apple story. (It would make a great Apple commercial)

My running has escalated and I ran my first race, not a 10k, but the famous Bay to Breakers.(12k) The race starts a few blocks from the Embarcadero on San Francisco Bay and meanders west through the city to the ocean. What an unbelievable experience. There were 100,000 participants and people were dressed in the wildest costumes imaginable including all sorts of strung together insects, naked or partially naked exhibitionists and probably 500 costumed Elvis impersonators. It’s pretty much a big moving party.

Time has become the limiting resource for Maggie and me. We need more and because we do scheduling is critical. Caroline seems to have something going on every day after school and on weekends and we’re always taking or picking up Ben from school or therapy. The reality is that Maggie works harder than I do.

Speaking of work, our percentage of hits and home runs at Rogers Schmidt is running at about 40% which is extremely high for venture capital firms. Fortunately pulling the plug financially or watching an unsuccessful company fail is tempered by the reality in the Valley that failure often produces some of the biggest successes.

Tess, your image pops up in my head often. Sometimes I’ll be at a ballgame or a restaurant and see a woman whose blonde hair looks like you from behind.
When that happens, I always wait intently for her to turn around. If only life was that simple.

Dear Tess,

Twenty years ago today we attended a landmark rock concert in Anaheim featuring two relatively new bands, Jethro Tull and Led Zeppelin.

So much has happened in the world, the United States and our own lives since that day. Yet, throughout those past twenty years the image of you briefly turning around twice at that the end of the concert remains a treasured memory in my life. Time has passed but your vivid image fueled through my eyes, processed in my head and captured in my heart is as powerful as it was on August 9, 1969.

Instead of looking back one year I now have the luxury of looking back over the last twenty. Maggie has been the most important part of those years. She has been my rock, my light and often my conscience. She has tolerated me when I couldn’t tolerate myself
and she believed in me when I lost my way. I loved her madly twenty years ago and I love her even more today.

Children change your life forever, but it’s the best change one can ever experience. Although we think its parents who teach children I’ve learned more from Caroline and Ben than any two people in the world. Caroline has been easy from day one while Ben has been and continues to be a challenge. But, both are absolute joys and I can’t love anyone more than I love them. There is no more challenging job than parenting and although I have learned much there is still more that I strive to become. I love being Maggie’s husband but I am proudest of being Caroline and Ben’s father.

Work has been much more than I ever expected. To be in probably the most exciting work environment in the world is a dream come true. I get paid handsomely to meet some of the most brilliant people on the planet, hear their plans for making life easier, faster and more rewarding and then help them achieve those goals. I love my job and certainly appreciate the financial rewards that translate into greater freedom and opportunity for my family.

Today, I savor the past and look forward to every minute of the future. I can’t wait to watch Caroline and Ben grow and I will do all in my power to make sure my son has every opportunity and all the blessings he so deserves in life.