Aussie: A Bad Boy Second Chance Romance (9 page)

I couldn’t get away fast enough. I hated that I could only hear bits and pieces of it, but the news was shocking. He tried to convince me it wasn’t true. It was easier to leave. I mean, I wanted to stay. I wanted him to get rid of the girl, and for our night to go back the way it was. I was also realistic enough to realize that wasn’t going to happen.

The night started off being wonderful. Hell, it was amazing. It should have ended the same way.

What pissed me off the most was that I was the one that left, not her. I couldn’t just sit there wondering what she was up to. He’d mentioned she was messed up before, but my mind couldn’t help swirling around the possibilities. What if she really was pregnant?

Luke denied it all, and I wanted to believe him. Yet, there was a piece of me that wasn’t so sure. He was obviously with her before, but he also told me how clingy she was, and that she was stalking him. He did try to change his number, so there was that. I kept weighing everything, trying to convince myself it would all turn out okay.

But to track him down, and how intensely she was pleading with him…maybe there was something more to what was going on. Maybe she loved him. Maybe they used to share something, and maybe they still do…like a pregnancy. Shit.

Trying to process everything while driving was overwhelming. I avoided going home, not ready to deal with my parents. I needed a friend, someone to talk to. Somebody who would listen and help me figure this out. Maybe a valve to help relieve some of the stress that was building up inside of me.

I texted Maggie and waited a few minutes. No response. I tried Rachel, same result. They were two of my closest friends. I hadn’t seen them in a couple of weeks, so I had no idea what they were doing. Rachel traveled for her job, and Maggie was usually hanging with her boyfriend. Still, they usually answered pretty quickly.

I called, but got voicemail. I didn’t bother leaving a message.

It was then that I thought of the one person I’d always been able to talk to confidentially. Aunt Jackie, my mom’s sister. She lived in Redondo Beach, which was only a thirty-minute drive from Santa Monica.

Aunt Jackie had no kids of her own, and as far back as I could remember, she’d always referred to me as the closest thing she’d ever had to a daughter. She had also told me that if I ever got in a situation that I couldn’t tell my parents about, I could always go to her and she’d keep it private while we figured it out.

This was exactly the kind of predicament she was talking about.

She’d lived in the same house for as long as I could remember. It was just a block from the beach. She was single, never been married. She divided her time between the health-food store she owned, and doing yoga on the beach in the mornings and evenings. She was just about to go out to the beach when I drove up and surprised her.

“Dawn!” she yelled through the screen door, pulling it open and hugging me. “What a nice surprise.”

She held me, and I held on tighter. “I should have called.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I was getting ready to walk down to the beach but I can skip it.”

She let go. I didn’t want her to. I guess it showed in my face, too, because as she looked at me the smile dropped from her face and her expression turned into one of concern.

“What’s wrong?”

I sighed, closed my eyes, and lowered my head.

“Come inside,” she said, guiding me through the doorway with one hand on my shoulder. “Hungry?”

“God, yes, I haven’t eaten since lunch. I had dinner plans, but…well, I’ll tell you about it. It’s part of why I’m here.”

She told me to sit at the kitchen table while she prepared a plate of leftovers for me.

I don’t think I’d ever seen my aunt not look amazing. She was in better shape than most women in their twenties. She had short brown hair, a golden brown complexion, and a statuesque build, probably 5’9, taller than any other woman in our family.

She put a plate of food in front of me.

“Mashed potatoes?” I said, surprised.

She smiled and sat across from me. “Even better. Pureed cauliflower with organic butter and chives.”

I was skeptical, but tried it, and was surprised how good it was.

“Good, huh?”

I nodded, mouth full.

“You can eat and talk at the same time,” she said. “Now, what’s going on?”

I told her everything…well, almost everything.

As I told her the story, her face went through several changes. First, surprise. Then, disbelief. Followed by what looked like anger (she was always protective of me). As I wrapped up telling her about earlier in the evening, she looked concerned. As long as I could remember, I’d never seen her look worried before. She was always calm and rational.

She held a dish towel in her hands, folding it and unfolding it.

“Do you trust him?” she asked.

I nodded, then contradicted myself. “I mean, I guess. I don’t know. It goes back and forth; you know?”

She nodded. “I know. It makes sense. You were devastated when he left back then.”

My gaze dropped to the plate in front of me. Suddenly I wasn’t hungry anymore. I put my fork down.

“It’s all so confusing.” I pushed my plate away and crossed my arms. Uneasy, I braced myself against the table. “I guess I didn’t know how strong my feelings for him were all those years ago. Or…I guess I just didn’t know what they meant. And when I saw him again, things just fell into place, you know?” I hesitated for a moment. Aunt Jackie remained quiet, letting me talk it out. I raised my eyes to meet her stare. “I think I might have loved him, just not in the way I thought I did. Does that make sense?”

She nodded and gave me a half-smile. “It’s a tough situation. There’s so much history, both good and bad.”

“I feel like there’s a future, too. Or at least, was.” I choked up saying the last bit.

She looked at me, then glanced away. She knew something. She had something to say but wasn’t saying it.

“What?” I asked.

Aunt Jackie sighed. “You know I’ve never tried to tell you what to do, but this an exception. You know your parents will lose their minds over all of this.”

I shook my head. “No, he’s better now. You should see him.”

Her lips tightened into a thin line. “I believe you. I know you’re a smart young woman and wouldn’t get mixed up with him if he was still as volatile as he used to be, but trust me when I say this really isn’t a good idea.”

I sipped from a bottle of imported water. It tasted earthy, almost salty. I swallowed, trying to avoid looking like I didn’t like it. “I know.”

It didn’t change how I felt.

I tried to reach Dawn a couple of times. I texted her, and thought about going to her house, but considering her parents were there, I decided that wasn’t the best idea.

A couple of hours later, she finally responded to my texts with an ‘
I’m fine. Just need some time.
’ As much as I wanted to talk to her, I respected her wish and gave her space. For now. No promises about later. I was afraid of too much time passing before we could talk.

Over the years, I’d taken to writing when I was dealing with stuff. It seemed to be cathartic for me, and I enjoyed the process. Back when I was younger, after I lost my parents, when I was involved in drugs, through therapy – somehow it cleared my head.

I popped open my laptop and started typing, hoping to release the pressure that’d built up in my head. I went into a stream of conscious and wrote what was on my mind, and then let it go from there. I started talking about the train of thoughts that surrounded Megan and Dawn. Somehow it wound to my memories of rehab. It was scattered, but getting it out of my head onto the screen was helpful to process everything.

I closed my laptop and flipped through some of my old photos. They were of local surf spots, local bands, and various spots around town. I was thrilled to get some of them published in an indie newspaper. I became sort of known at the LA magazine for getting the right shot without formal training. They called me the young kid with flair.

I’d always known what I wanted to do. I couldn’t happily be anything else. Sure, I could take jobs that filled time, but my passion was in photography. I’d been thinking about it a lot lately. In fact, there were a lot of things I wanted to get back involved in, like surfing. Something I loved, but left behind for a while.

The following morning, I decided enough time had passed. I headed to the beach early in the morning, before work. I had my camera with me and walked along the ocean’s edge, enjoying the sand on my feet. The sunlight brightened slowly as the morning continued. I’d taken one shot after another, firing them off. I easily took hundreds of shots.

Breathing in the salty air, hearing the crash of the waves, it made me wish for a surfboard. I wanted to get lost in the waves, ride them, and let go of all of my thoughts. I didn’t care that years had passed, that the waves weren’t great for surfing at the time, or that I might wipe out from lack of practice.

I was chasing my past. I wanted it back. I wanted that feeling of being alive. I wanted photography back, surfing, and most of all I wanted Dawn back. Back in my arms. Back in my life where she belonged.

She asked for time, but I wasn’t sure how much more time I could offer. I needed to see her. Needed to feel her in my arms. I’d give her another day or two, but then all bets were off. The more time we spent apart, the more time her trail of thoughts could wrap a noose around our budding relationship.

I watched the ocean for a little while longer, the memories of the board beneath my feet coming back to me. The rush of catching a perfect wave. The tense split-second changes in the water that forced a new position, new direction.

I thought about how, when I caught a breaking wave at the wrong time, I wiped out. But, man, the sense of conquering the Pacific when I rode in a solid wave without losing the battle was out of this world.

Before I’d been an actual junkie—a slave to substances—I’d been an adrenaline junkie. Why hadn’t it been enough? I can’t honestly say why. Now that I’d come back from the edge of self-destruction, I knew I had another chance.

Nothing was going to stop me from going after what I wanted.

I heard his voicemails. I still waited. Two days had passed and I was starting to feel guilty about not seeing him. I appreciated him giving me space, but there was a part of me that wished he’d storm over in some dramatic need to see me.

Enough time had passed. I drove to his apartment after work one day, arriving just before 6 p.m. His car wasn’t there, but I knocked anyway. There was no answer. As I started to walk away, one of the neighbors came outside.

“Oh, I thought it was my pizza. They went to the wrong door last week,” he said.

He was in his late forties, had a deep leathery tan and wore board shorts. The shirt he had on looked like it’d gone through the wash at least a thousand times. If they ever made a sequel to Fast Times at Ridgemont High, the reunion version, this is what Jeff Spicoli would look like.

“Sorry to bother you,” I said.

“No bother. If you’re looking for that guy—I haven’t met him yet, don’t know what his name is—I saw him leave about a half hour ago. Left with a board.”

Luke was surfing again? A smile slipped over my lips. “Do you know where he might have gone?”

The guy shrugged. “Maybe the pier.”

“Thanks. I’ll check there.”

I hurried down to my car, got in, and pulled out of the parking space. Leaving the complex, I saw the old surfer dude’s pizza delivery guy pulling in.

The Santa Monica Pier was only a few blocks away. I could have walked, but didn’t want to waste any time. I hoped if I got there soon enough so I could see him surfing. When I reached the pier, I spotted him immediately. It wasn’t crowded, and his amazing physique was unmistakable.

He surfed for about fifteen more minutes, then standing in the water’s edge, held his board propped up, and looked out at the ocean. He seemed lost in thought.

Seeing him there, I had mixed emotions. I was thrilled that he was surfing again, and yet I could only imagine what he was thinking. Was he thinking about his younger, carefree days? Or about the havoc and chaos that he let enter his life all those years ago, jarring him from the happiness he’d known.

Finally, he lifted the board, put it under his arm, and started to walk out into the breaking waves. I sat up in my seat a little higher so I could have a better view, but then realized it wasn’t good enough. I got out of the car and sat on the hood.

Luke dropped his board and climbed on it before padding out into the rolling swells.

It brought me back to when he was still living with us. I’d watched in awe as he did all those things like waiting for the right wave, turning, paddling. I’d never been into surfing, but I’d watch Luke every chance I got. A surge of nostalgia rushed through me.

When he picked his wave, it was one smooth motion. In a flash, he was standing on his board, his arms went out for balance, and he adjusted his frame, his knee pushing down, forcing himself faster. He was parallel to the beach, then a swift turn, and he was on the wave, riding it until it broke in ankle-deep water.

When he came in on the wave, he must have seen me sitting on my car. In that instant, he decided he was finished. He trudged across the sand with his board in hand.

I couldn’t look away from him. He reminded me of the Luke I used to know. In his board shorts, shirtless, walking across the beach – I was mesmerized. Maybe it was the memories…maybe the sand…either way, I started to tear up.

He placed his board down and moved between my legs. Luke reached up and wiped a tear away. “Don’t cry, Dusk.”

The floodgates opened.

He pulled me into his strong arms, holding me close. Enveloped in his warmth, everything felt right again.

He kissed my forehead. “Let me explain something about Megan.”

I looked into his eyes. I held his gaze, and answered. “No, you don’t have to.”

He insisted. “I want to.”

I shook my head, reaching up and putting my hands on his shoulders. “It’s my fault. You told me about her. It makes total sense she’d do something like that. I wasn’t thinking clearly. It took me off guard. I’m sorry I freaked out and left, not giving you a chance to explain.”

He smiled, relief flooding his face. “No one owes anyone an apology. Let’s just forget it happened.”

I couldn’t speak. My throat was tight. I just nodded, forcing myself not to cry again.

“I promise, Dawn, it’s not an issue. That’s all I’m going to say, okay?”

I pulled him closer to me, not wanting to let go. I didn’t care that he was still wet from the ocean, and my clothes were soaking it in. I needed to feel him against me, as close as possible. I needed Luke like I’ve never needed anyone or anything.

“Let’s go back to my place,” he whispered. “I’ll change and we can go get something to eat.”

When we got to his apartment, I followed him to the bathroom. He turned toward me, and stripped off his board shorts. “Just need to rinse off.”

“Oh, okay,” I said, and turned to leave the room. He stopped me, his hand on my shoulder. I looked back toward him.

A smile spread across his lips as he reached for my shirt.   “You’re not going anywhere.”

Excitement pulsed through my veins. He unzipped my slacks and lowered them, then slid my panties over my hips and down my legs. I stepped out of my shoes and kicked off my panties.

Luke reached around and unhooked my bra. I shifted the straps off of my shoulders and let it fall to the floor. My breathing was slow and deep as he cupped a breast, then grazed his thumb across a nipple.

His cock jutted out from him, and pressed against my stomach as he moved in closer.

Steam filled the room. Luke guided me into the shower, standing behind me. The mist of the warm water rained over me. Beads of water ran over my face as the spray hit me.

Luke picked up a bottle of body wash, snapped open the top, and after returning it, rubbed it between his hands. Lathering my body, he worked the soap over my shoulders, back, arms, and then reached around to my front. He played with my breasts, his hands all slippery and wet. As his strong hands fondled and cupped me, I tipped my head back and sighed.

I think I was about to have the cleanest boobs in all of California, because he kept lathering them, playing with me, rolling a nipple, sliding his hands all over them. Not that I was complaining. The sensation was dizzying. I closed my eyes and got lost in the pleasure.

His cock grew harder against me. Pressed to my lower back, I couldn’t stop thinking about how good it would feel inside of me.

He stopped fondling one of my breasts and dropped a hand to my wrist. He wanted me to touch him, slipping my wrist closer to his cock. I wrapped my fingers around his iron-hard length.

His voice was breathy, almost gravely. “I used to think about this all the time. Picture us in the shower, together, doing this.”

The idea that he’d fantasized about me all those years ago filled me with more desire. Would I have known how to appreciate it back then? I don’t know, but we were adults now.

His hand moved across my hip, inching around to my front. His fingertips slid over my thigh, then moved between them. I looked down and watched.

He had to lower himself to reach me there, and as he did, his cock slipped from my grip and rested in the cleft of my ass. Even standing under hot water, I felt a chill. Goose bumps ran up my arms, and every tiny little nerve within me was ablaze with excitement.

I groaned. “I want you,” I said in a primal response.

His teeth grazed my neck, then his lips closed in on me. “I’ve never wanted to fuck you more than I do right now.”

But he didn’t.

He picked up the handle of the shower nozzle and rinsed the suds away. Turning off the water, he stepped out of the shower and grabbed me a towel. I stood in place as he dried me down. After drying himself, he took my hand. “I want you in my bed.”

My eyes never left his. As we walked backward to his bed, my legs touched the edge of the mattress. He placed his hand on the small of my back and gently laid me down.

“It’s not about the sex, Dawn. It’s so much more.” The look on his face proved he meant it.

“I know.” My heart was beating so loud that I could hear it in my ears.

He broke our gaze and pressed his lips to mine. I parted my lips, passionately kissing him back.

I put my hand on his chest and felt his skin, taut over his broad chest, with muscles that twitched as I touched him. I could have kissed him for days. Being that close, needing him, I let go of any inhibitions I may have been holding. For Luke, I’d do anything. Be anything.

I explored his chest and lowered my hand to his hard cock. It was thick and heavy against my thigh.

We rolled together, Luke pulling me onto him. He flipped me to my side.

Our skin was warm and smooth from the shower, making it feel like we were gliding over each other, the sensation made me ache with lust.

Once on my back again, Luke slipped a finger inside of me.

“You’re so fucking tight and wet for me.”

God, I loved how he added “for me.” It was true and would go without saying, but the fact that he said it was like he was claiming me, claiming my body, claiming credit for making me feel this ecstatic.

We could barely wait, both of us desperate to reconnect as one, sealing our bond. Luke reached down between my legs and gripped his cock. He rubbed it against my wet flesh, and watched himself. Each second felt like slow motion.

He parted my lips with the head of his cock and slid it across my clit. I moaned, unable to contain the desire that wanted to spill out of me. If he kept that up, I’d come right then.

Luke leaned over and reached into the drawer next to his bed. He pulled a condom from the nightstand.

“Wait,” I whispered. “I want to feel it inside of me first. Without a condom.”

Luke stared at me, then grinned. “I don’t know. That’s risky, Dusk.”

I nodded. “I know, but…I’ve never done it without one and I want to with you.”

The pause made me wonder if I’d said too much. Was he willing to take the chance?

He put the condom down. “I haven’t, either.”

I didn’t question the truth of that statement.

He cupped beneath my thigh and spread me open.

I threw my head back and arched my back as he pushed inside of me. “Oh,” I gasped. I breathed in deeply, then exhaled fiercely, trying to keep my cool. Feeling him inside of me, no condom, skin on skin, his warmth, nothing separating us…

Slowly and deeply, he filled me.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and locked onto him, as we found our rhythm. With each thrust and withdrawal, I coiled and uncoiled, my body tensing up and then finally relaxing. It was unreal, a pleasure I couldn’t have imagined. It wasn’t even about the physical connection, as much as it was about the psychological one.

His jaw was tense, and there was an animalistic, determined look in his eyes. He stared into my eyes, focusing on giving me pleasure. I couldn’t look away from him. The bond was deep, we were drawn together, needing to share in this moment in a way neither of us had ever done before. He was mine. I was his.

He lowered his face to mine, and swept his tongue across my lips, then pushed into my mouth. A kiss so passionate and strong, I was certain he was trying to devour me. He pulled back up, and propped himself on the bed, his palms flat on either side of me.

I couldn’t resist. I had to reach up and touch him. His arms were hard as steel, flexed, and screaming for attention. I stroked his arms, and watched as his chest rippled with each movement.

He slid a hand under my ass and pulled me tighter against him. Fucking me harder, I could tell he was about to come.

He lowered his head to my chest and licked a nipple, then went to the other and sucked it fully into mouth. I reached up and put my hand on the back of his head. I didn’t want him to stop. Luke sucked harder, pulling, then I felt it. He pinched my nipple between his tongue and his upper teeth.

It sent me over the edge. My body twitched and twisted. Bucking and grinding, the orgasm shot out of me with no chance of me holding on. It was hopeless. As it slammed into me, my muscles clenched tightly, and then released with complete relief.

Lifting his head, he smiled at me, pushing into me again. His cock started to pulsate. It was so hard and big, and had a fullness I’d never known.

The deep groan came up from his belly, and clenching his teeth, he called out my name as he came.

My head exploded with pleasure. All of my thoughts were gone. All that was left was a physical passion so pure, I felt like I’d lost track of time. The way that he took me to such intense heights, I knew I’d find myself addicted to reaching that high again.

Luke collapsed onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. Slack and exhausted, I found his hand on the bed between us and locked my fingers through his.