Avoiding Temptation (41 page)

“Are you all right?” John asked.

“What?” Lexi asked, brushing her palms down her dress again and again.

“You look a little nervous, and you’re kind of pale.”

“Am I?” she gasped, her face blanching further.

“Yeah, you are. Do you need some water? Or do you need to sit down?”

“No, I’m fine. Just…weddings make me nervous,” she admitted.

“Right. Not the marrying type,” he said without any humor in his voice. “Funny since you have the huge ring on your finger.”

“Ramsey’s different,” she said softly.

There was no point in having this conversation with John. It had never ended well in the past. She doubted it would get any better in the future.

“Right,” he repeated.

He smirked at her, but it was equivalent to him just rolling his eyes.

Infuriating man!

“Seriously though. Water?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

“No. Seriously, I’m fine.”

She wasn’t. She felt like she might hyperventilate while walking down that aisle with John. It wasn’t even her wedding, and she was acting like this. She needed to get a handle on herself.

The wedding planner rushed back over to them and smiled through her stress. Lexi didn’t know why the woman was stressing. This had to be one of her easier weddings. It was so small, no more than fifty people in attendance. It was probably even less if Lexi had to guess. They could get through this.

“All set? Just link arms there,” the wedding planner said.

Lexi slipped her hand into the crook of John’s elbow, and he pulled her in a little closer. She took a deep breath and promised not to let it get to her.

“Once you guys are out there, remember to turn at the same time to your places. Chyna will follow once you’re in your spots.”

“Ready?” John whispered in her ear.

Lexi nodded.

And then, the doors were whisked open, and music played a soft classical song. John took the first step, urging her forward. They walked across the rose petals, and she was careful to keep her balance.

Her eyes drifted to Ramsey, who was seated in the middle of the bride’s side. He was in a suit and tie. His green eyes were locked solely on her. He didn’t even blink at the fact that another man was walking her down the aisle. He just continued staring up at her adoringly.

Why wouldn’t this bother him?
John was anything but platonic toward her. He never had been.
Not that she wanted Ramsey to be irritated with her, but did he just not care?

She was being irrational again.
Why was it upsetting her that he didn’t care? Wasn’t that what she wanted? Wasn’t that what she had fought for with Jack?

And now, Jack was getting divorced…and he had told her that he loved her…and he wanted to take her home with him. She wondered if Ramsey would still be okay with it.

Her mind flashed back to the night when he had proposed. She had walked through that restaurant and seen the cookie-cutter wives and the cookie-cutter husbands and the couples who barely cared about each other. She had wondered then if she was headed on that path, if she was going to end up sitting around in nice restaurant because that was what they did rather than truly enjoying each other’s company.
How had she swept that under the rug?
She still didn’t know if that was where she was heading.

She loved Ramsey. She needed to stop her mind from wandering. This was just a walk down the aisle with John. This had no reflection on her relationship…on her fiancé.

“You remember that conversation we had in the hospital?” John whispered as they neared the platform.

“Yes,” Lexi whispered, intuitively knowing where this conversation was going.

“You’re regretting not taking that out right now.”

Lexi breathed in sharply. She had known it was something like that, but it didn’t stop it from hurting.
Was she regretting that?

No…

She never would have taken the out that he had given her. She hadn’t wanted to come back to New York. She had been set on Ramsey…still set on Ramsey. That was the life that she had chosen. It was the life she wanted to lead.

Wasn’t it?

“That offer still stands,” John said right before they broke apart.

John moved to stand next to Adam. Holding her flowers up to her chest, Lexi turned at the same time and took her place next to where Chyna would be standing. John caught her gaze, and he smirked as if he knew that she was considering the offer.

How could she ever consider an offer like that? What was wrong with her? What would make her do that?
She felt so out of it all of a sudden. The conversation with Chyna a few weeks ago had only put further doubts in her mind. As if she wasn’t already freaked-out enough, she was now constantly thinking about what she wanted.
Was this what she wanted?

It felt like it—most of the time.

But was that good enough?

Lexi averted her gaze from John. She didn’t want to hear his words echoing in her mind.
You’re regretting not taking that out.
She couldn’t regret it. She had always promised herself she wouldn’t regret. And anyway…her life was everything it should be.

Then, why was she such a ball of stress?

Ramsey met her eyes and lifted his eyebrows as if to ask,
Are you okay?

She nodded slightly. She hoped he took that to mean that she was okay rather than she just didn’t want to talk about it. There was a time and a place for that conversation. The more she obsessed, the more she realized that it was pretty inevitable. They needed to get back on track, and they couldn’t do that with her acting like such a hot mess. He would calm her down once they were back in Atlanta.
Things would be all right.

Right now, she needed to worry about Chyna’s wedding…and nothing else.

And as she had that thought, a traditional Canon in D filled the speakers, and everyone rose to their feet. After a second, Chyna materialized in the doorway. Everyone caught their breaths at the sheer awe-inspiring beauty before them. Surely, everyone looked good on their wedding days, but not everyone was a supermodel. So, Chyna took the cake.

Her dress was the best of both worlds with a mix of vintage and modern designs. It was a full lace gown with cap sleeves that dangled elegantly all the way down to a V-cut in the back. The bodice had a wave cut that ended in a small V to reveal just a hint of cleavage but nothing over the top. Intricate design work was beaded under the chest until the waist where the lace swept down elegantly into a train behind her. The backside of the gown had a small bow at the base of the V-cut, and then two-dozen little buttons held the dress together.

Chyna smiled her supermodel smile, and then she proceeded down the aisle in a smooth light gait, not rushed but not slow.

The best part of it all was that Chyna needed no one to walk her down the aisle. In most circumstances, this would be a moment of embarrassment, of hushed whispers among the guests. But Chyna had refused to invite her parents, and there was no one else that she wanted to give her away. Lexi had suggested Frederick, and Chyna had just laughed at the very idea of it. Frederick was seated on the bride’s side, but he couldn’t be the one to do it. She had reasoned that she was completely independent now, and thus, she should be free to give herself away.

Lexi thought it was perfect.

Chyna’s eyes found Adam on the platform, and they didn’t leave his the entire way. There could be no one else in the room, and Chyna would have been happy. This was the man she had always wanted, and he was right in front of her. She was finally going to have the happiness she deserved.

Chyna stopped at the platform, handed off her bouquet of flowers to Lexi, and then moved into place in front of her husband-to-be.

The officiant smiled down upon them before speaking. “On behalf of the bride and groom, I would like to welcome you all to the union of Chyna Van der Wal and Adam Ward. Please be seated.”

He waited for the crowd to readjust to their seats before continuing. “I am pleased to be here today to join together a pair so well suited for each other. I have heard nothing but praise and blessings showered down on them since meeting them and speaking with their friends and family. And it is with great pleasure that I conduct this ceremony. If you’ll join hands, we’ll begin.”

Chyna and Adam clasped hands together and stared up into each other’s eyes. Lexi had been surprised that Chyna, who was one of the least traditional people that she knew, had wanted a very traditional wedding. She hadn’t wanted anything in a church, but the ceremony itself seemed very important to her, and it had translated into what the wedding planner had put together for them.

He turned to Adam first. “Adam, do you intend to take this woman whose hand you hold to be your lawful wedded wife? Do you pledge before your friends and family to love, honor, and protect her through sunshine and shadow alike, keeping yourself for her alone, until death separate you? If so, answer
I do
.”

Adam turned and looked directly at Chyna. Lexi could see him from her vantage point, and it sent a shiver up her spine. He loved Chyna so much that it was almost unbelievable. There was no way that anyone could miss it. It made her heart pound, just seeing the devotion on his face.

He answered, “I do.”

The officiant repeated the statement of intent to Chyna, and she also answered in the affirmative. Lexi’s heart fluttered.

“Now, Adam, if you’ll repeat after me,” the officiant said, preparing them for the vows, “I, Adam, take you, Chyna, to be my wife…”

Lexi watched them exchange vows through the tears welling in her eyes.

“To have and to hold from this day forward…”

She had never been so sure of a marriage before. Chyna and Adam just worked together.

“For better or for worse…”

They were polar opposites coming together, balancing each other out, and creating a harmony in each other’s lives.

“For richer or for poorer…”

That was what Chyna needed more than anything, and Adam was the only one who was capable of providing that.

“In sickness and in health…”

It was what Lexi wanted, what she had been searching for all along…

“To love and to cherish, excluding all others…”

Someone who didn’t need to take care of her. Someone who didn’t need her to take care of them. But a balance…

“As long as we both shall live.”

Someone who didn’t need anything
but
her.

The officiant spoke briefly about the significance of the wedding rings—how the ring formed a perfect circle as a symbol of eternity and showed the duration of the commitment they were making to each other. Chyna and Adam looked ecstatic at the prospect, and Lexi just felt like a weight was crushing her shoulders.

“Repeat after me, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow…”

Commitment—there was that word again. It all came down to that, to knowing that she was going to spend the rest of her life with this one person.

“And with all that I am…”

And not because she had to but because she wanted to. She couldn’t imagine a minute of your future without that person. She couldn’t imagine there ever being another person waiting at the altar for her.

“And with all that I have…”

But Lexi…could.

“I will honor you.”

It made Lexi’s head spin at the very notion. She tried to remain in the present, but it was hard not to visualize herself standing in Chyna’s shoes and wondering if she would be as excited as her friend. Judging by how sick she was feeling standing
next
to Chyna…Lexi kind of doubted it.
How was she supposed to stand there in just over six months without trembling and wondering if she was making the right choice?

“And now, by the authority vested in me and in accordance with the laws of the great State of New York, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Adam smiled brightly. “With pleasure,” he whispered just faintly enough for Lexi to hear before pulling his wife into his arms and crushing their lips together.

The crowd clapped and cheered at their union. Lexi even heard a few whistles and catcalls as they stood together in an intimate lip-lock before all their friends and family in attendance. When they pulled apart, Chyna was giggling, and tears were welling in her eyes. Lexi had never in her life seen Chyna look so happy.

They turned to face the crowd as the officiant ended the ceremony.

“It is my pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time, Adam and Chyna Ward.”

Everyone rose to his or her feet, and the applause continued. Lexi handed Chyna back her intricate bouquet of flowers. Adam and Chyna lifted their clasped hands high, and everyone cheered louder.

Lexi glanced across the altar at John. In that moment, it was the least guarded she had ever seen him, and he looked genuinely happy for his brother. After what had happened with him and Chyna, it had taken a long time for them to be able to let it go. She didn’t even see a trace of it on his face.

He caught her eye and smirked as if to say,
Are you this happy?

She bit her lip but didn’t pull her eyes away. The answer was no, and he could read it clear all over her face.

Adam hoisted Chyna up into his arms, and her head dropped back as she laughed at the pure joy and ridiculousness of the man she loved. Instead of letting her walk down the aisle, Adam carried her to a deafening round of applause just as the sun eased to the bottom of the horizon, and the sky changed to a gorgeous pink, orange, and yellow hue across the skyline.

John and Lexi came together in the center, linked arms again, and followed the couple off of the rooftop. Lexi didn’t glance over at Ramsey once. She couldn’t meet his eye. She couldn’t let him see the thoughts swirling through her mind right now.

They made it through the double doors, and when she finally removed her hand from the sleeve of John’s suit, she took a few steps away from him. Chyna and Adam had disappeared, and Lexi could only guess what they were up to.