He wasn’t so sure. His heart had just been wrenched out of his chest, and he ached all over. The agony was all he felt despite his attempts to keep it at bay. Without his Olivia, he wouldn’t last long.
Immortal men waited their entire lives to find their mates, the one woman destined for them. When they did, their souls instantly recognized them as theirs. He’d denied his desire and his need for her for five months. His heart and soul yearned for Olivia, knowing she was just within his reach, yet doing nothing because he felt his mate needed time.
He shouldn’t have waited.
He should have told her.
Perhaps, she would have accepted him, and he would have spent the last five months enjoying her, romancing her with words, flowers and actions. He could’ve enjoyed quiet dinners while he held her and loved her.
Could’ve, should’ve, would’ve.
Too late now, and rehashing his mistakes wouldn’t solve a damned thing.
I screwed this up.
Worst part was he should’ve known. The past several weeks, he’d sensed a deep sadness in her. It pierced through him worse than if it were his own, dislodging something deep and primal in him—the need to safeguard, protect as it was with fated immortals. He wanted to ask but hadn’t. Instead, he’d done all he could to distract her, attempting to make her laugh and smile. She had laughed, but deep down that sadness never faded.
And now…She was gone.
Why hadn’t he done more? He should’ve. She was his, and it was as much his job to keep her happy as it was to keep her safe. So not only was he a damned fool but he was to blame. Over the past months as he’d gotten to know her, he’d felt he didn’t deserve a female such as her. Now, he knew he had a right to feel that way. She deserved so much more than him.
His bitter thoughts, his faults, sparked his anger. Attempting to temper his rage, he exhaled heavily. He couldn’t let his emotions overwhelm him or else risk turning demon, and he couldn’t do that. He wasn’t in his home, so he didn’t have the luxury of turning.
Trying his hardest to ignore his rising fury, he asked, “How do you know?”
“I know because these things always work themselves out,” she said, softly.
It had worked out for the Elementals and their mates, but he wasn’t so sure it would work out for him because his mate was gone. Why she left and where she’d gone, he had no idea, but he had to start looking.
Unable and unwilling to control his emotions any longer, he said, “I gotta go, Joce.”
“I’ll let you know if I find out anything, okay?”
He nodded then dematerialized.
****
Olivia was exhausted. She’d flown half the night and half the morning to reach her destination—Greece. Thanks to her parents, Landon and she co-owned property in Santorini, part of the Greek Isles.
As a kid and later as adults, she and her brother often vacationed on the island but during the last decade or so, they hadn’t travelled much.
If she was being honest with herself, in a hundred and two years, she hadn’t needed a vacation as badly as she needed one now. It hurt her to leave the home she was fond of behind indefinitely, but she needed to get far away from Cain, whom she’d fallen madly in love with.
The demon she’d met months ago had somehow managed to wedge himself in the deepest part of her heart. So deep, when she closed her eyes it was his face she saw: his golden hair, his bright blue eyes, high cheek bones and full kissable lips. He was burrowed so deep, it was him she dreamt of, him she wanted to be hers—her fated male.
But he wasn’t.
Immortal men had an instinct—the ability to sense and recognize their fated females the moment they laid eyes on them. When they recognized their fated, they were incapable of suppressing their need for them. The desire to mark and claim them as theirs was powerful and unrelenting, the need to protect and guard them fierce and unyielding. They couldn’t leave them, couldn’t stand to be away from them—ever.
Unfortunately for immortal women, fate and destiny only granted men the knowledge of who their fated females were. She wouldn’t instantly recognize the male destined for her, only he would.
Finding one’s mate was viewed by all immortals as a gift, the one person who complemented you, someone you could love forever and share your long existence with. No immortal would wait to claim what was destined to be his, except for her stubborn brother, Landon, who’d tried to deny his female and had for three months, nearly losing his mind with desire for her. It had cost him, dearly, but she supposed he’d gotten what he deserved for fighting with fire and fate. In the end, destiny had won as it usually did.
She met Cain five months ago, and Cain was the same jovial, lighthearted man he’d always been. Further proving she wasn’t his. No way could he deny his need to mark and claim her for that long. No way any immortal male could.
Despite her brother, Landon, mating outside their breed, she doubted she would as well. Less than a handful of werewolves had found their mates in other breeds.
Regardless of all the overwhelming evidence lingering in her mind, Cain wasn’t destined for her. She often found herself thinking of him, and feared she was becoming infatuated. His muscular frame, his good looks, his mannerisms and his fun-loving, kind-hearted personality, everything about him drew her to him, and it wasn’t fair to her or him.
Although she’d never dated and had no experience with men because of her domineering, overprotective brother, and alpha of their pack, she knew her feelings for Cain intensified with every passing day. She couldn’t completely trust her instincts because of her inexperience, but in her heart, she believed she loved him and feared if she wasn’t already in love with him, she was close to it. That alone had her running away from home.
Only Landon knew where she was now. She hadn’t written it in the note she left for him, but expressed she was taking a vacation, like the ones they used to take. Regardless, she knew her brother would attempt to track her and call her, so instead of flying
Eternal Air
, a private airline immortals often used, she’d flown commercial and consciously left her cell phone behind.
As she deboarded the small plane on the island and retrieved her luggage, she was glad for one thing—the trip was almost over. Soon, she’d be able to lie in her bed on the gorgeous island and sleep.
Perhaps she was foolish to think distance would diminish her feelings for Cain, especially considering ever since she’d left, he was all she thought about. But there was hope that, with time, she’d get over what she hoped was just a school girl crush, her first in a century.
Chapter 2
His mind in shambles, his heart in shreds, Cain materialized just outside his king’s office. Taking a deep breath, he strode through the doorway. His gaze gravitated toward the chaise at the far end where Lucas sat, his arms tight around his mate, Jenna, who sat on his lap, seductively running her fingers down his chest. Staring into each other’s eyes, they looked so much in love, captivated with one another.
A glimpse of what he so desperately wanted and had let get away, so Cain knew he should look away. He knew he should attempt to erase the sight from his mind.
But he couldn’t.
A part of him knew he deserved what he got, deserved to feel jealousy churning his gut, and ripping open his chest. That same part of him felt he deserved to suffer for his cowardice, for his many mistakes. The other part of him wanted to memorize the sight so he could fantasize that one day Olivia would love him half as much as his queen loved his king.
The sadness that had clung since hearing the truth compounded, choking him. He fisted his hands in an effort to keep it at bay, though he knew it would be useless. Nothing would erase the grief, nothing until he found her.
He’d give the world to have Olivia in the same room. He’d sell his soul to the devil to have Olivia on his lap. No, that wasn’t true. He’d gladly sell his soul to simply know where she was.
If he’d been braver…If he hadn’t been a foolish coward, he could be enjoying her or maybe, he thought ruefully, it would’ve caused the same outcome, only sooner. If, as he feared, Olivia had figured out she was his and run from him, it wouldn’t have mattered. She would’ve just run sooner.
“Cain,” Lucas said in greeting without tearing his gaze from his mate.
Jenna quickly turned to face him, her long brown hair swayed as a warm smile spread across her heart-shaped face.
“I need time off,” he blurted without greeting.
Jenna stood and quickly closed the distance between them. “Cain? Are you okay?”
She didn’t give him time to respond, instead, she took him by surprise when she asked, “Did something happen to Olivia?”
He knew a demon’s ability as an empath meant Lucas, Benjamin, and Jacob were all aware of his feelings for Olivia, but he never guessed Jenna or Jocelyn would’ve known. Had one of the demons told them?
“Cain, is she okay?” she asked again, concern marring her expression.
“How did you—”
“It’s obvious. I’ve watched you with her. More importantly, is she okay?”
His eyes held hers for several moments before he looked away and admitted, “She just…she left.”
Lucas materialized beside his mate as Jenna placed her hand on Cain’s shoulder in a comforting gesture. “Oh, Cain, I’m so sorry.”
Pity, everyone pities you more so than before,
his conscience sneered
.
“Take all the time you need,” Lucas said.
“I’m fine. I just need to find her,” he said through clenched teeth.
“You’re far from fine, Cain,” Lucas advised. “It’s normal…anything relating to our mates is…difficult. I know,” he said giving him a level stare.
“You have to stay calm through this. Just keep in mind that wherever she is, she’s safe. Landon would ensure it,” Jenna said.
The anger he’d kept at bay boiled over. “
Calm
? How am I supposed to stay
calm
?” he shouted, unleashing his frustration. “She left
me
behind! I thought we were friends! I thought—”
Lucas’s eyes ignited, burning a deep crimson shade. He took a menacing step in Cain’s direction.
Cain felt the anger his king projected spilling from him, hitting him full force. He knew he deserved it, just as he knew Lucas couldn’t fight the instinct to defend his mate, to punish him for disrespecting her.
Jenna placed her hand on her mate’s stomach stopping him from lunging forward and asked, “Friends? Didn’t she know?”
Cain turned away from her. Unable to admit it aloud again, he shook his head.
“So she
didn’t
leave you,” she pointed out.
His anger further seeped through his resolve. Turning to face her, he snapped, “Yes.” He fisted his palms then took a deep breath, attempting to control the rage coiled inside him. “She left in the middle of the night. I…” He ran his hands through his hair in frustration.
Lucas growled, taking another step in his direction. Jenna glared at her mate, then shifted her attention to him, her eyes softening. “No, she didn’t leave you. Find her and tell her. I know she has feelings for you. I’m sure of it.”
He wanted to admit his fear, that she’d run because she couldn’t stand to be the mate of a demon—of an orphaned demon at that, but he held his tongue.
She closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. He returned the hug knowing he didn’t deserve her comfort, not after he’d taken out his anger on her.
As she pulled away and met his gaze, she said, “Cain, if you need anything. We’re here for you. Anything you need, okay?”
He nodded. “Thanks, Jenna.”
As he walked out, he heard Lucas grumble. Jenna’s voice resonated moments later. “Oh, for God’s sake, Lucas!”
****
Drowning in a sea of regret, the days that followed were long and draining. Cain fought harder and harder to get hold of his emotions. After the initial shock and anger came defeat and now anything and everything set him off.
He had no leads as to where Olivia could have gone. He’d tried to find Landon and ask him, but the werewolf took off the moment he found out Olivia had left and only returned for brief periods. During those times, Jocelyn asked Landon, but he hadn’t admitted where she went, which made Cain think he didn’t know, so he’d taken the matter into his own hands. He searched property records under Landon’s name and Olivia’s across the country. He also hacked into her bank accounts to see if she’d used her card for any purchases. But he had no luck with either. Jenna and Lucas visited him daily, encouraged him to continue searching for her.
Over and over, he replayed his conversations with Olivia in his mind, but they’d never discussed anything regarding vacation spots or where they’d run if they wanted to get away.
His conversations with her over the past five months were usually about the Guardians. She asked him loads of questions about other immortal breeds, and he found it fascinating how her eyes widened, and she smiled when he told her something she hadn’t known.
That’s when he realized he’d spent his time admiring her instead of truly getting to know her, the root of her. While he memorized the angles of her face, every expression she made, her mannerisms and every curve of her body, he never thought to ask her anything about her past, primarily because he knew Landon had kept her stowed away.
Her brother treated her like a child even though she was one hundred and two. By all accounts, she was still twenty. In comparison, Jocelyn, who was merely twenty-one and had just recently been thrust into the immortal world, knew much more about it than Olivia because of Landon. Cain hated that Landon had sheltered her so much because, despite the fact his intentions were for her wellbeing, Cain felt Olivia’s hurt at being kept out of werewolf affairs, Guardian business and the reality they all lived with—that a war between good and evil was undoubtedly nearing.
Although, recently, Landon allowed her a glimpse into the real world, Cain feared it too late. He often sensed her disbelief over reality, which was quickly followed by remorse. He wanted to ask so many times why, but held his tongue in fear she’d flinch at his intrusion.