Awakened (24 page)

“Fine. I’ll wear this.” I ducked into our bathroom, then popped my head out and met Aphrodite cool blue eyes. “Oh, and Stark is my Guardian and Warrior first, my boyfriend second.
And
he is darn sure not a hypochondriac. You know that. You saw what happened to him.”

“Huh,” Aphrodite scoffed under her breath.

I ignored the rude sound but kept the door open so I could still talk to them while I got dressed. When I saw the seer stone I paused, and decided to let it hang down beneath the top of the dress—no way did I feel like answering questions about Skye and Sgiach tonight. I combed my hair quickly and said, “Hey, do you guys think Neferet’s letting me light the pyre because she expects me to mess it up?” Hell,
I
expected to mess it up, why wouldn’t she?

“Well, I think her plan’s much more nefarious than you fumbling around with some words ’cause you’re bawling, ’cause you actually cared ’bout Jack,” Stevie Rae said.

“Nef what?” said Shaunee as she, too, walked right into my room without so much as a howdy do.

“Arious who?” chimed in Erin. “What’s she doing, Twin? Tryin’ to pick up the Damien vocab slack?”

“Totally sounds like it, Twin,” Shaunee replied.

“I like words, and you two can go suck a lemon,” Stevie Rae said.

Aphrodite started to laugh and then covered it with a cough when I left the bathroom and glared at all of them. “We’re getting ready to go to a funeral. I think we should show a little more respect for Jack, being as he was our friend and all.”

The Twins instantly looked contrite. They came over to me and each gave me a hug, mumbling
hi
s and
glad you’re back
s.

“Z has a point about bein’ more serious, and not just ’cause it’s Jack’s funeral and that’s real terrible. We all know there’s no way Neferet has suddenly decided to do the right thing and respect Zoey and her powers,” Stevie Rae said.

“We need to be on our guard,” I agreed. “Stay close to me. Be ready. If I have to cast a protective circle, I don’t imagine I’ll have much time to do it.”

“Why don’t you cast one to begin with?” Aphrodite said.

“I was gonna, but I looked up stuff about a vampyre funeral, and the High Priestess usually doesn’t cast one. It’s her job, well, uh, I mean
my
job tonight, to stand as respectful witness to the loss of a fellow vampyre, and to help send the vampyre’s spirit to Nyx’s Otherworld. There’s no circle casting involved in that, just prayers to Nyx and such.”

“You should be good at that, Z, since you just got back from the Otherworld,” Stevie Rae said.

“I just hope I do Jack proud.” I felt the tears start to sting my eyes and I blinked hard, forcing them back. The last thing any of my friends needed was for me to be a bawling, snotting mess tonight.

“So none of you have any idea what Neferet’s up to?” I asked them.

There was a bunch of head shaking, and Aphrodite said, “All I can think is that she’s going to somehow try to humiliate you, but I don’t see how that can happen if you stay calm and strong and focus on why we’re all here tonight.”

“For Jack,” Shaunee said.

“To say bye to him,” Erin said, her voice shaking a little.

“Well, that’s nice and all,” Stevie Rae said, and we looked at her. “But I think funerals, no matter what they’re like, are mostly for the people left behind, like Damien.”

“That’s a really good point, Stevie Rae.” I smiled at her in gratitude. “I’ll remember that.”

Stevie Rae cleared her voice. “I know because I saw my mama today, and she was kinda holdin’ a mini funeral for me. It was her way of tryin’ to find closure.”

I had a moment of intense shock while the Twins exploded with “Ohmygoddess, how awful!”

“She came here?” Aphrodite asked. I was surprised at how kind her voice sounded.

Stevie Rae nodded. “She was out by the front gate leavin’ me a funeral wreath, but really what she was doin’ was what Damien is gonna try to do tonight: saying goodbye.”

“You talked to her, didn’t you?” I said. “I mean, she knows you’re not dead anymore, right?”

Stevie Rae smiled, even though her eyes still looked super sad. “Yeah, but it made me feel awful that I hadn’t gone to her first. It was terrible to see her cry so much.”

I went to my
BFF
and hugged her. “Well, at least she knows now.”

“And at least you have a mom who cares enough to cry about you,” Aphrodite said.

I met Aphrodite’s gaze with complete understanding. “Yeah, that’s true.”

“Y’all please, your mamas would be crying if something happened to you,” Stevie Rae said.

“Mine would in public because it’s expected of her, and because she’d be so prescription-med-ed up that she could work up a tear over just about anything,” Aphrodite said blandly.

“Well, I guess mine would cry, too, but it’d be all about
how could she have done this to me
and
now she’s going straight to hell and it’s all her fault.
” I paused and then added, “My grandma would say it’s too bad that my mom doesn’t understand that there’s more than just one right answer about forever.” I smiled at my friends. “I know ’cause I’ve been there and it’s wonderful. Really, really wonderful.”

“Jack’s there, isn’t he? Safe, in the Otherworld, with the Goddess?”

We all looked up to see Damien standing in the doorway that the Twins had left open. Darius was on one side of him and Stark was on the other. Damien looked absolutely horrible, even though he was dressed immaculately in Armani. He was so pale it seemed I could see through his skin, and the shadows under his eyes looked like bruises. I walked over to him and took him into my arms. He felt thin and frail and totally un-Damien-like.

“Yes. He is with Nyx. I give you my word on that as one of her High Priestesses.” I hugged him and whispered, “I am so sorry, Damien.”

Damien returned my hug and then, with an effort, stepped back. He wasn’t crying. Instead he looked drained—empty—hopeless.

“I’m ready to go, and I’m really glad you’re here.”

“So am I. I wish I’d been here before.” I felt tears start to threaten again. “Maybe I could have—”

“No, you couldn’t have,” Aphrodite said, stepping up to stand beside me. Again, her voice was softened with understanding and she sounded way older than nineteen. “You couldn’t stop Heath’s death. You wouldn’t have been able to stop Jack’s.” My eyes briefly met Stark’s and I saw in his gaze a reflection of what I was thinking—that I’d stopped his death. Even if it meant he had nightmares and still wasn’t one hundred percent, at least he was
alive.

“Seriously, stop it, Z,” Aphrodite said. “All of you—don’t start the self-blame game. The only one responsible for Jack being dead is Neferet. We know that, even if no one else does.”

“I can’t deal with that right now,” Damien said, and for a second I thought he might actually faint. “Do we have to face down Neferet tonight?”

“No,” I said quickly. “I’m not planning anything like that.”

“But we can’t control what she’ll do,” Aphrodite said.

“Stark and I will stay close. The rest of you be sure you’re near Zoey and Damien. We won’t begin anything, but if Neferet attempts to harm any of us, we will be ready.”

“I’ve seen her in front of the Council. I don’t think she’s gonna do anything as obvious as attackin’ Z,” Stevie Rae said.

“Whatever she does, we’ll be ready,” Stark echoed Darius’s words.

“I won’t be ready,” Damien said. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fight anything again.”

I took Damien’s hand in mine. “Well, tonight you won’t have to. If there’s a battle to be fought, your friends will do it. Now let’s go see to Jack.”

Damien drew in a long, shaky breath, nodded, and we left my room. Still holding Damien’s hand, I led the group down the stairs and out into the common room, which was completely empty. I mentally sent a small prayer up to the Goddess:
Please let everyone already be out there—please let Damien know how much Jack was loved.

We walked down the sidewalk that led around the front part of the school. I knew where we were going. I remembered all too well that Anastasia’s pyre had been placed in the center of the school grounds, directly in front of Nyx’s Temple.

As we moved along the sidewalk in silence a small sound caught me and I glanced at a bench that rested under a redbud tree near the front of the school. Erik was sitting there, alone. His face was in his hands and the sound I’d heard was his crying.

I almost kept walking by, and then I remembered that before he’d gone through the Change, Erik had been Jack’s roommate. And because of that I also remembered that it didn’t matter just then what had happened between him and me. I was serving the role of High Priestess tonight for Jack, and I knew beyond any doubt Jack wouldn’t want me to let Erik sit out there all by himself, crying.

Plus I had a sudden flash though my mind of the time when Erik had found me crying after my first, disastrous, Dark Daughters’ Ritual. Back then he’d been sweet and thoughtful and had made me feel like maybe I could really handle the craziness that happened at this school.

I owed him a favor in return.

I squeezed Damien’s hand and brought him and my whole group to a halt. “Honey,” I said to Damien, “I want you to go with Stark and everyone else to the pyre. There’s something I have to do real quick. Plus, from everything I can find to read on vamp funerals and such, you—’cause Jack really was your Consort—need to spend time meditating before the pyre is lit.” At least I hoped that was what Damien needed to do.

As if she’d materialized in response to my words, a vampyre stepped out of the shadows, coming from the direction of the funeral pyre. “You are absolutely correct, Zoey Redbird,” she said.

I, along with all of my friends, gave her big question-mark looks.

“Oh, I should introduce myself.” She offered me her forearm in the traditional vampyre greeting. “I am Beverly—” She paused, cleared her throat, and started again. “I am Professor Missal. The new Spells and Rituals instructor.”

“Oh, uh, nice to meet you.” I returned her greeting by grasping her forearm. Yeah, she had a full vamp tattoo—a pretty pattern that reminded me of musical notes—but I swear she looked younger than Stevie Rae. “Um, Professor Missal, would you lead Damien and the rest of the kids to the pyre? There’s something I need to do here.”

“Of course. Everything will be ready for you.” She turned to Damien and said gently, “Please follow me.”

Damien said a faint okay, but he looked super glassy eyed. Still, he began following the new professor. Stark hung back. His eyes shifted to the shadows and the bench on which Erik sat. Then they returned to me.

“Please,” I said. “I need to talk to him. Trust me, ’kay?”

His face relaxed. “No problem,
mo bann ri.
” Before he started after Damien, he added softly in his excellent Scottish accent, “It’s waitin’ for you I’ll be when yur finished.”

“Thank you.” I tried to tell him with my eyes how much I loved and appreciated his loyalty and his trust.

He smiled and moved off with the rest of the group. Well, except for Aphrodite. And Darius, who hovered about like her shadow.

“What?” I said.

“Like we can leave you alone?” Aphrodite rolled her eyes. “Seriously. How clueless are you? Neferet managed to cut off Jack’s head without actually being there. Darius and I aren’t leaving you alone to comfort Erik the Douche.”

I looked at Darius, but he shook his head and said, “Sorry, Zoey, Aphrodite has a point.”

“Could you at least stay back here out of earshot?” I asked in exasperation.

“Like we want to hear Erik’s crybaby crap? No problem. Just hurry up. No one needs to be kept waiting for a douche bag,” Aphrodite said.

I didn’t even bother to sigh as I walked away from them, making a path to Erik. Okay, seriously. The guy didn’t even know I was there. I was standing in front of him. His face was in his hands and he was crying. Really crying. Knowing what an excellent actor he was, I cleared my throat and got ready to be semi-sarcastic, or at the very least passive-aggressive.

When he looked up at me everything changed. His eyes were puffy and red. Tears soaked his cheeks. Snot even ran out of his nose. He blinked a couple of times, like he was having a hard time focusing on me. “Oh, uh, Zoey,” he said, and made an effort at pulling himself together. He sat up straighter, and wiped his snotty nose on the back of his sleeve. “Um, hey. You’re back.”

“Yeah, I landed a little while ago. I’m going to light Jack’s pyre. Wanna come with me?”

A sob erupted from deep within him. Erik bowed his head and began to weep.

It was totally awful.

I so didn’t know what to do.

And I swear I heard Aphrodite snorting off in the distance.

“Hey.” I sat next to him and awkwardly patted his shoulder. “I know it’s terrible. You guys were really good friends.”

Erik nodded his head. I could see he was making an effort to get himself under control, so I sat there and babbled while he sniffed and wiped his face on his sleeve (eesh).

“It really sucks. Jack was too darn nice and sweet and young and
everything
to have something like this happen to him. We’re all gonna miss him so much.”

“Neferet did this.” He spoke quietly, and I saw him glancing around like he was scared of being overheard. “I don’t know how. I don’t fucking even know why, but she did it.”

“Yeah,” I said.

Our eyes met.

“Are you going to do something about it?” he said.

My gaze didn’t falter one little bit. “Absolutely everything in my power.”

He almost smiled. “Well, that’s good enough for me.” He wiped his face again and ran a hand through his hair. “I was leaving.”

“Huh?” I said brilliantly.

“Yeah, going. Leaving the Tulsa House of Night for L.A. They want me there—in Hollywood. I was supposed to be the next Brad Pitt.”

“
Was
?” I asked, totally confused. “What’s stopping you?”

Slowly, Erik raised his right hand and held it, palm out, toward me. I blinked several times, not really understanding what I was seeing.