Axel (Ride Series Book 3) (11 page)

“Babe,” he protested.

“No. Hospital,” I reiterated. “If you need to, call Jill, she’ll help,” I grit out, trying hard to hide my pain.

“Jill’s in Dallas,” he argued.

“She’ll help,” I replied stubbornly.

He sighed but fell quiet. I took that as a good sign I’d get my way and allowed my eyelids to win the battle they’d been waging since the SUV started up.

Chapter 10

I
woke up when the motor cut. I looked out the window with bleary eyes, relieved to see we were at Axel’s.

“Is Mad here?” I asked as Axel came to my side and lifted me out, moving to carry me inside.

“No, babe, he’s with Scarlet. Cal’s there, too. Someone will either bring him home or we’ll get him in the morning, okay?”

I bit my lip against the disappointment. “Okay,” I answered. After a night like this, I wanted nothing else but to hold my boy.

“Tonight, I need to take care of you,” he added quietly, stepping into the quiet house.

“What time is it?” I thought to ask, wondering how long I’d been in that godforsaken motel room.

“Just after two,” he replied. “Seven hours,” he added grimly, recognizing the direction of my thoughts.

He moved us to the bathroom, sitting me carefully on the counter. I couldn’t get a handle on his expression as he looked me over. He looked haunted.

“What is it?” I asked quietly.

He swallowed audibly. “I’m gonna have to take the glass out,” he explained in a deep, troubled voice. “Your perfect fucking skin.” He looked dangerously close to losing it again like he had back at the motel.

“Hey,” I put a hand on his arm, the muscle flexing with tension under my touch. “I’m tougher than I look,” I assured him with a small smile.

He looked me in the eye, his eyes a lighter grey than I’d ever seen as tension knitted his brow. “I can take on five men,” he rasped as I wondered where he was going with this. “I’ve been stabbed. Shot once,” he added, his hand moving to the puckered scar I noticed before on his shoulder. “I grew up with a violent father whose acts against me, my brother and my mother were unconscionable.”

My eyes pooled with tears as he shared this piece of himself with me. I knew his childhood hadn’t been a happy one. I knew he had a darkness in him that when freed could envelop any light. I’d always wanted to know where it came from. He’d never spoke about his father and I wanted desperately to understand what he’d been through. But this wasn’t the time.

He moved a hand through my hair as his eyes locked on the movement of his fingers gliding through my chestnut strands. “I’d sooner go through all that again. Hell, I’d do it all at the same fucking time if it meant I didn’t have to cause you more pain right now.” He swallowed.

I took his huge hand in mine, squeezing tightly, giving him what little comfort I could. “I know it might be selfish,” I explained quietly. “But I need it to be you. Everything’s all screwed up and your hands are the only ones I want on me.” His grey eyes snapped to mine. “It won’t hurt as bad if it’s you,” I added.

He nodded, straightening to his full height. “All right, baby,” he rasped.

It took thirty horrible minutes to pull out every shard of glass from my skin. The hardest part was hiding my reaction. I knew it would make it so much harder on him if I showed my pain. So I bit it back with everything I had, even as the tweezers dove in deep.

“Goddammit, Sophie, I know this has to be fucking agony!” he swore when we were nearly done. “Don’t hide your pain from me! Give it to me so I can take it from you.”

I nodded, letting the tears fall freely as I sucked in a ragged breath. It did feel better not to have to hide it. “How did you find me?” I asked, wincing as he pulled another shard out.

“I can’t talk about tonight right now, baby. I’ll lose my shit. Later, okay? I’ll tell you everything I know,” he assured me.

I appreciated that he knew I’d want to know the details.

“Okay,” I agreed.

“Jill wants to come out,” he told me, sensing I needed to talk about something, anything.

“Really?” I asked. “When did you talk to her?”

“On the drive home, you were out,” he murmured. “She’s worried about you but I also got the sense things may not be so great in Dallas.”

I felt my brow crease. “But Tim just got home.”

He shrugged. “I don’t know the details but she seemed eager to come out,” he continued, his brow furrowed in concentration as he pulled the last shard out of my upper arm. “Okay, baby, let’s get you in the shower,” he sighed, seeming as relieved as I was that it was over.

I nodded as he helped me off the counter, undressing me carefully. He undressed as well and guided us under the warm water, pulling me against his broad chest, kissing the top of my head.

He cupped the sides of my head, tilting my face upwards, his fingers running over my split lip. “I swore to you I’d protect you,” his deep voice rasped. “I never thought one of my own brothers would pull this shit.”

“You couldn’t have known.” I shook my head, wanting to assuage his guilt. “I shouldn’t have wandered away by myself,” I added quietly. “I just couldn’t deal with that chick talking about you.” I took a deep shaky breath, my eyes sliding to the side.

His brows knit in confusion. “What?”

“I watched her come up to you at the club,” I began.

“Eyes,” he commanded gruffly, forcing me as he so often did to look at him when I shared something especially difficult.

“She walked away from you talking with her friend about how she’d slept with you. I know I have no right but it was hard to hear,” I admitted quietly. “So I went inside for a few minutes to have some time to pull it together.”

He moved his fingers through my hair, tugging gently in a way that made me want to purr. “I’ve never been a one-woman man,” he began, and I tensed, not liking the sound of that. “Until you.” He swallowed thickly, his hands running over my shoulders and gently down my cut arms. “That won’t be the last time you hear shit like that.” He shook his head. “But I want it to be the only time it bothers you. You’re all I see,” he said gruffly, the emotion in his voice making my heart flutter. “I want you to understand that you’re the only woman who I’ve wanted under my roof. You’re the only woman who’s ever been under my skin. Had I known you were out there raisin’ my kid alone.” He shook his head, his expression pained. “I didn’t think you were ever coming back, Soph.” His voice was like gravel as he forced the words out.

“I know,” I cut him off, not able to bear him continuing.

“Tonight when I couldn’t find you – when I didn’t know what happened to you, I’ve never felt anything like that.” He blew out a breath. “I would have torn up this goddamn Earth to find you, Sophie.”

“I know,” I whispered again as he pulled me back against his chest to hold me.

“Let’s get you to bed,” he coaxed as he reached around me to turn the water off, helping me to step out of the shower.

I bobbed my head in agreement. It was about all I could manage.

I lay on my side, facing him, my hands tucked under my cheek. He clicked off the light and slid into bed, lying on his back, his hand placed over his muscular stomach.

“What are you thinking?” I asked, the darkness giving me confidence I wouldn’t have had otherwise.

Those eyes of his always seemed to slay me.

“I’m thinking that you’re really fucking brave,” his deep voice returned.

“Me?”

“Yes, you.”

I heard his head rustle on the pillow as he turned toward me. “You grew up totally sheltered, almost completely controlled by your parents. Yet you have a fight in you that would have long ago died out in a lot of other people. You didn’t accept what was being forced on you. You did what you had to do to protect our son to try to make a life for yourself from nothing. As much as I wish you would have trusted me, as much as I wish I could have been a part of every minute, I’m still so fucking proud. Even tonight, you didn’t accept that shit. You fought to the bitter end. If that’s not the definition of bravery then, darlin’, I don’t know what is.”

That he saw me like that was empowering. It was also beautiful. “Thanks,” I managed, quietly.

“For what?” he asked.

“For seeing me like that, as I really am or how I’d like to be, anyway. And for what sounds like you forgiving me.” I choked out the last part as warm tears slid to the pillow. “But I still don’t get why after all the women…why I’m the one…” I trailed off.

His calloused hands stroked my tears away. “It’s tough to put words to. I’ve never felt it before. But, you’re my girl. You’re sweetness and light, and you look at me with such richness that I feel fucking full. I felt that way the moment I laid eyes on you when you were sitting on that stoop in New York.”

“Those are some pretty good words.”

His hand reached out to stroke my hair back from my face. “We’re not as different as you may think. I know what it’s like to feel powerless – to want something more. It’s part of why I was so drawn to you. I understand that side of you – that ferocity to fight despite your outward fear. And, shit, you fit in with my crew better than most other women would. You don’t take any shit and yet your heart is so warm. They all adore you. You entered our world like you’d always been there – and I’m gonna make sure that’s where you stay,” he told me, his finger gliding down my cheek.

I was floored by this side of Axel. This tough, badass biker with words so eloquent they should be written and remembered.

“There’s no place else I’d rather be,” I assured him. We lay in silence for a few moments before I spoke again. “How’d you find me?”

He scrubbed a hand over his face and let out a low sound of frustration. I knew he didn’t want to talk about it, not yet, but I had to know what information there was to be had.

“I want to know,” I pressed.

Finally, he nodded. “Jeb’s been actin’ shady for a while now,” he began as I listened intently. “Ever since he got injured protecting Kat, he seemed to think he was immediately entitled to be patched in. When that wasn’t the case, he started to distance himself from the club. He seemed bitter. Put us on edge, especially your brother. He knew from all that shit with Allen Parker that prospects can get some sense of entitlement.” He snorted.

I didn’t know much about Allen Parker other than he’d had a vendetta against the Knights, which Kat had ended up being the center of.

“Fuckin’ assholes think they can put in a few months of hard work and be part of a club.” He shook his head. “Anyway, I didn’t know it until tonight but Sal had started tracking Jeb. When you disappeared…fuck!” He shook his head. “It took a while for us to realize what happened. Then we didn’t know how long you’d been gone.” I rolled closer to him, wanting the contact while he shared the rest. “I knew you wouldn’t just up and leave Maddox.” His deep voice rumbled under my cheek as I pressed close. “It was Mack who suggested Jeb. At first, we thought he was fucking crazy.” Axel made a scoffing sound low in his throat. “I mean, we knew he was off the rails a little but taking you would be signing his own death warrant. Then the pieces started coming together with the shit with the Black Riders. We figured Jeb was holdin’ a grudge for not getting patched in.”

“You were right,” I confirmed, burrowing closer still as his strong arm pulled me tightly against his warmth.

“Sal gunned it to his place to activate the tracking shit he’d put in Jeb’s cell. Bastard must’ve ditched it or left it somewhere. That’s why it took us so long. But we got close enough to figure it out. There isn’t much out that way,” he explained, referring to the motel.

I shuddered, thinking of what would have happened if they hadn’t have shown up.

“Hey, don’t think about it. I can’t,” he admitted, his voice thick with emotion.

I placed my hand on his abs, the muscles clenching underneath my touch and I kissed his chest, moving upward to his neck. His breathing immediately grew harsh and I was encouraged even more to continue. His face turned toward me and I touched his lips with mine.

Reaching over, his hand clasped the back of my neck as he pulled me in for a passionate kiss. He moved my body over his so I was straddling him. I sucked in a ragged breath, feeling his hardness against my skin.

“Baby, you’re all cut up,” he protested, his breathing ragged.

“I need this. Don’t stop,” I pleaded, adding a ragged, “Please.”

His hand reached up under the shirt I wore to trace the bare skin of my back before moving to the front and finding my breasts. He tweaked both nipples firmly, growling into my mouth with a sound of such pleasure that my core nearly liquefied.

He felt like steel where he was pressed to my center as he sat up, sweeping my shirt over my head and his lips replaced his fingers.

I sucked in a breath and moaned loudly, the noise escaping my lips still foreign in my ears.

“Christ, you are so fucking gorgeous.” His lips moved over my breast, taking a nipple and sucking voraciously.

He rolled us so he was on top, pressing between my legs as he took my mouth in a passionate onslaught. His hand stroked over my belly, sliding lower until he reached my panty line.

“So wet for me,” he breathed reverently as his fingers dipped underneath the fabric.

“Yes.”

He feasted on my body with his mouth, his teeth finding purchase in my pliant skin as he went. When he reached my core and feasted, I was moved quickly beyond sanity.

He brought me to the breaking point before rising above me and gliding inside.

The feeling of him inside me with nothing separating us was enough to make me momentarily lose my mind. “I’m not on anything,” I managed, despite the excitement that threatened to eclipse rational thought.

He paused, looking down at me. “I’ve never not used anything, baby. I’m clean. I’ll pull out but you feel so damn good,” he rasped.

I looked up at him, my fingers trailing the whiskers along his jaw. “There’s only ever been you.”

His eyes blazed with that knowledge. “I want you on top,” he growled, biting gently at my neck before shifting our bodies so that he lay beneath me.

Despite the desperation I felt to have him, I was out of sorts and unsure in this position. My inexperience and insecurity was front and center in a way I wasn’t ready for.