B0079G5GMK EBOK (14 page)

F
irst, I saw Marie's doctor, who
looked at me gently. I felt
my shoulders relaxed. If she
was looking
at me like that, it couldn't be that bad, right? Next, I saw tubes and three other doctors bustling around Marie and I wasn't relaxed anymore. Marie's head was covered with small electrodes that told us where her epileptic seizure was. The monitor showed high activity and even I could tell that her seizure was still going strong. Marie's hand had two different drop tubes and one of the doctors was just about to put a respirator in Marie's throat. Tiamhaidh
was standing
next to Marie's bed and strangled the edge of the bed with his white knuckles. His face looked like a cornered animal. I went next to him. I wrapped my arms around him and wondered how he
had
got
ten the
permission to stay here, as Marie's doctor must have known
that he was not related to her
at all.
Tiamhaidh let the b
ed go and grasped me. I felt my ribs gi
ve in, but I said nothing. He couldn't actually break anything and if crushing me helped him, I was ready to give it to him.

“Sofia,”
said the doctor, Joan Milton,
quietly.

I lifted my eyes and saw how serious she was.

“How long has this been going on?” Milton asked.

“Four days. But she recovered all the times between the seizures,” I added frantically.

“Sofia, we have to take her down to get it to stop,” Milton said softly.

“No!” I screamed.

I knew exactly what that meant. I would go through
the same hell as before and no
one could promi
se that Marie would survive
that. I felt my knees give in.
Tiamhaidh grabbed me. He said nothing, but he could sense all my thoughts and he knew Marie's life was in danger.

“We're not taking her to as deep a sleep as the last time, but you have to prepare yourself for the worst. Is David coming?”

I nodded as I couldn't speak. A silent tear dropped from the corner of Marie's eye and I knew she understood what would happen. I got away from Tiamhaidh's grip and wiped her tear away. Another tear came to replace it a
nd soon her cheeks were wet with
tears. Tiamhaidh kneeled next to her bed and fondled her hand.

“I'm sorry,”
said Milton
and gently held his hand. “You can't touch her, as every touch might stimulate the next seizure.”

Tiamhaidh took his hand away quickly and I saw that he was crying, too. 

“Gu bráth,” he
whispered silently and moved to let the impatient doctors come to Marie.

Her
eyes closed slowly and soon the only sound in the room was the solid beeping of the monitors that told us her heartbeat was stable. Soon the scary needles from the monitor relented as well and I knew she was sleeping peacefully, without any seizures,
and would
until the doctors tried to wake her from her artificial sleep.

“Sofia, stop!” David's voice seemed to come from afar. “Stop that!”

David shook my shoulders lightly and tried to get at least some kind of eye contact with me. Frustrated he turned to Tiamhaidh, but he was even deeper in his own world than I was. David grunted resentfully and turned back to me.

“You've been staring at that watch for three days! You have to pull yourself together! And so do you, Tiamhaidh! I have to go to work and Clarissa doesn't want to hear a word about coming here, so I need you to be my back up. Marie needs you!” David snapped desperately.

“White,” I said, mesmerized.

David stared at me like I was a lunatic.

“White,” I repeated and smiled at him.

“Sofia, please try to concentrate,” David begged frustrated
ly
.

“But honey, can't you see that Marie's mind is full of a calming white color and that she's resting peacefully?” I said, besotted.

“And that's where Tiamhaidh is as well, right?” David asked patiently like he was talking to a child.

I nodded absentmindedly and continued staring at the watch on the wall. David kneeled in front of me and came so close that our faces
were nearly touching
each other.

“You can't share her world right now, none of us can. You understand that, don't you? This can last for weeks or months and no one can promise that she will be alright or that she will ever be the same as she was before. You have to be strong, Sofia, 'cause I just can't be strong alone. I need you,” David's voice cracked.

I sighed and pressed my cheek close to his. “Forty-one hours, thirty-eight minutes and fifty-one seconds,” I whispered.

“What?” David
said, startled
.

“Forty-one hours, thirty-eight minutes and fifty-one seconds,” I repeated.

David pushed me further and got up. He looked beaten.

“Don't go,” I asked timidly. “I have to count time. Otherwise I don't have the strength to believe that Marie is going to be alright.
The last time
she was here, her mind was not as pure as it is now, so it has to mean something good, right?”

“White,” David said and smiled faintly.

“White,” I said and smiled at him radiantly.

David glanced at Tiamhaidh and I whispered. “Also white.”

David shook his head and kneeled again. “Sofia, I have to be sure you don't lose your mind while I'm not here. I have to be at work tomorrow so I have to go home today and get freshened up. I need to know if I can trust you?”

“Yes. You can trust me, or at least I think you can, but don't take too long,” I said unsurely.

I was almost sure that I wouldn't lose my mind, but that meant that Marie's state had to stay at this level. The smallest change for the worst might confuse my already messed up head.  However, I was the alpha of this pack, and all I had to do was take some strength from my pack and then I would be fine. Anyhow, that was the extreme lever and I didn't want to do it. Not until I had used all the other resources I had, and at this point I was almost sure I could manage without them. I knew David had to work. I didn't expect him to do otherwise, and I knew he wanted to stay here as much as possible, so I had to manage at least one day without him. I just had to.

“Go now,” I said and touched his lips.

David kissed me lightly and glanced concernedly at Tiamhaidh. He hadn't moved. David bent over Marie and whispered something in her ear, and then he was gone. I concentrated on looking at the watch again.

“Sofia,” a silent whisper echoed in my mind. I shook my head as if to exile an uncomfortable bug out of it. “Sofia!” the voice said louder. I strengthene
d my senses and
jumped up
at once
. Tiamhaidh looked at me lazily, but
turned his eyes back to Marie when
I said nothing.

“Gunward!” I snapped in my mind. “Go away!” I ordered, bored, and sank back to my boredom and into the soft chair of the hospital. “Sofia, concentrate!” Gunward's low voice grunted and disturbed my thoughts. I tried to concentrate on him, but the silent beep of Marie's medical ventilator took my interests back to
my daughter. “Sofia,” Gunward
gently wiped my mind. “Either you come out of the cell or
I'll come in.” It was then that
I really woke up and jumped up again. Tiamhaidh looked at me with a weird expression on his face. I formed the name, Gunward, with my lips. His gaze sharpened for a moment, but then he went back to his wasteland, where he could be as near to Marie as possible in this situation.

I sneaked out of the room and as I shut the door, I wished I could have ord
ered Tiamhaidh to come with me.
However, Marie needed him more than I did. I was just a coward who needed to colle
ct her courage and meet the man
who he
ld my unwilling, shaking heart i
n his hand. I sighed and looked at him.

Gunward leaned against the window frame and watched me with a beast-like look on his face. Oh, my God! I had totally forgotten how stunning he actually was. I had hidden his picture
so deep in my mind that now that
he was here I
could only gasp
. His dark brown hair was quite long and touched his shoulders, making him look really hot. He had
a
dark stubble and his golden brown eyes
were looking amusedly at me
. His long, muscular legs were covered with dark, loose jeans that e
nded with a pair of warm
dark brown leather shoes. His dark grey knitted shirt was partly covered with a thin, dark grey woolen jacket and he had wrapped his neck casually with a dark striped scarf. I kept my eyes on his body on purpose, as I was
not ready to meet his eyes. Neither
of us said anything and I started to get a little nervous. Why had he come? I didn't want to be here. Not with him and certainly not now. My daughter needed me. I wanted to leave and I actually turned towards the
cell door when I heard his
rough
, low
voice.

“Sofia,” he said tenderly, yet
demanding
ly
.

I lifted my gaze just to meet his hungry eyes and I was shocked at the deep longing reflecting from them. I knew my own eyes were like a copy of his. His eyes drew me to him like a magnet and I knew it would be easy for him to just ask me to come closer. I would have done anything. Anything to be near this huge, magnificent man. However, he sighed deeply with resignation and turned his eyes. He didn't want me like this, unwilling, so he let me go. I examined his stern, handsome face. His dark brows, a nose that bent slightly and that I was sure was recovering from a fight again. His solid, wide mouth that screamed for a kiss. I glan
ced at his eyes carefully and
noticed he was examining me as carefully as I was examining him. He grinned, revealing his perfectly white teeth.

“A bea
r,” Gunward grunted amusedly
and shrugged his shoulders.

I had already figured that he had had a battle with a b
ear and that it had succeeded in swiping
his snout badly. Gunward loved wrestling with bears. We used to do that together and I remembered that I liked to wrestle as well, but that was ages ago.  A longing twinged at my heart, but I forced myself to be strong.

“Why are you here?” I asked harshly.

He flinched when he heard my cold voice, but he stayed calm.

“I came, because I sensed that you needed me,” Gunward said and looked at me coldly. I saw the pain in his eyes, though he tried to hide it from me.

“David will take care of me. Why didn't you just search someone else's mind from the pack? You would've seen what was going on right away, and needn't have bothered to come all the way here,” I asked and was startled by the hardness in my voice.

Gunward searched my face and I felt his light touch in my mind. I had had time to shield my mind though, and even his skills were not enough to unblock it. His eyes flashed and I felt his anger.

“I tried. I searched for Tiamhaidh's mind, but I couldn't see anything but white,” Gunward grunted
,
and when I looked at him wondering
ly
, he continued. “Obviously every shape shifter near you thinks they're part of your pack and they shield their minds from
every outsider including me,” h
e said, looking a bit embarrassed.

“What about Adam? You could've searched his mind. He's not a part of my pack, that's for sure,” I snapped.

“Well, you may think so, but he thinks he belongs to your pack. I actually tried to search him, but either he doesn't know anything or he just doesn't want to reveal his mind to anyone. Besides, those few images I managed to dig out of hi
s head were so full of Clarissa
that the earth could quake and he still wo
uldn't see anything but her
.”

“I don't believe you! You could've forced him to open his mind to you,” I said, wondering.

I looked straight at him. Had he gotten softer? Earlier he wouldn't have hesitated to crush his way
in
to another's mind and take what he needed out of it.

“
I did force,” Gunward grunted. “
But I couldn't get anything useful out of him. Not a hint that could've told me what was wrong with you. Adam's mind is a mess and all I
got were some detached nuggets.
” His gaze locked into my eyes.

“I had to come, mo gaol,” Gunward sighed and reached out invitingly with his hand. I pretended I didn't notice
it and he slowly let it drop
.

“Thank you,” I said quietly and leaned against the nearest wall. “Now you have seen that I'm alright, so I think it's better for all of us if you leave as soon as possible,” I said tiredly.