Authors: Garson Kanin
A
RT
: I will.
L
ARRY
: Good. But not now.
A
RT
: When?
L
ARRY
: Later. We’re going to be doing a lot of this.
A
RT
: O.K.
L
ARRY
: Gene Bowman opens his book with three chapters on The Everleigh Club—one of the most celebrated bordellos in America in the early part of this century. We’ve condensed this into one big opening scene with two numbers: “Ladies of the Evening,” by the chorus, and “Nightfall,” sung by Nora.
I
VAN
: Beautyful nomber.
H
Y
: Thank you.
L
ARRY
: And already there’s a basic change. Bowman says she was one of the favorite girls at The Everleigh Club—
A
RT
: How does he know? Was he there? He wasn’t there.
L
ARRY
: In our version, Nora is
not
one of the girls, but plays the piano there. All right. We can live with that. Remember how brilliantly Fosse handled it in
Sweet Charity
? In the Fellini they were street whores. In the show, they were dance-hall girls—but hell, when they sang—(
He sings
)
“Hey, good lookin’!
Spend a little time with me…”
There was no question. So all right. Nora plays the piano in this whorehouse. She’s known there as “Lovey Kelly.”
A
RT
: But we don’t call it that—whorehouse. We never use the word, do we, Chris?
C
HRIS
: Never.
L
ARRY
: Cathouse, bordello, brothel, whorehouse—what the hell’s the difference?
A
RT
: Bordello has
chic
, that’s what.
L
ARRY
: Oh my God!
A
RT
: You can say oh my God all you want. It’s a fact.
L
ARRY
: O.K., but the point is—and this is part of
your
job, Alicia, and you, too, Ivan. There should not be too much differentiation between Nora and the other girls.
A
LICIA
: I didn’t plan any. You’ve seen the sketches.
L
ARRY
: I didn’t say you did, Alicia—we’re just reviewing.
I
VAN
: And me—you mean more with the lighting, yes? Not the design.
L
ARRY
: Well, design, too—insofar as, say, the placement of the piano is concerned.
N
ADIA
: You have not so much of the choice there—because the lady She plays not the piano—so must be fake—so must be in position for the faking, no?
L
ARRY
: Of course.
C
LAY
: And by the way, we’ve worked out that trick piano. By putting it against the wall, left, we can shove the real piano into the prop one—so that when Nora fakes playing, the real music will be coming out of the piano She’s faking on.
H
Y
: Terrific.
C
LAY
: She’ll still have to get a lot of coaching to make it look right.
L
ARRY
: Don’t worry about her—She can do anything.
A
RT
: Anything She
wants
to do.
J
ENNY
: Who’s going to do that? You want me to?
H
Y
: No, no. Me. I’m a pianist.
L
ARRY
: But will you have time?
H
Y
: I’ll
make
time.
C
LAY
: Schedule-wise, it’ll have to be worked into
her
moves.
H
Y
: I’ll try.
L
ARRY
: Hey! Idea. Whenever Hy
can’t
do it—we can use Midge.
H
Y
:
Great
idea!
(My instinct was to yell, “No!” But I suppressed it)
L
ARRY
: Now. The main line. A raffish spot in a wide open town—Chicago—in an anything-goes period. A bordello—O.K., Art?—catering to politicians, stage stars, tycoons, writers, and artists. They had style, the Everleighs, and in their way—class. The girls were hand-picked. Not so much hookers in the end as American geishas.
A
RT
: Hey! That’s good. Put it in the script, Chris.
(
C
HRIS
makes a note.
L
ARRY
goes on
:)
L
ARRY
: And young. The Everleighs had a slogan—“If they’re big enough, they’re old enough!” (
Laugh
) Consequently, they had—
H
Y
: Hold it a second. Did you say, “If they’re big enough, they’re old enough”?
L
ARRY
: The
Everleighs
said it.
H
Y
: Well, God damn it. Where’s
that
been, for God’s sake? Not in the script.
L
ARRY
: It’s in Bowman’s book. If you’d read it the way I
asked
you to, you’d have seen it.
H
Y
: I read the goddamn book. All right. Maybe not every single goddamn word—but—
F
RED
: Hey! I got it. You mean a number—a patter, a comedy song—
H
Y
: Damn right. For the two Everleigh Sisters. Holy Cow—this is what I’ve been
looking
for! A third song for the opening scene. And these two great old dames—be sure they can belt—and they’ll sing:
(
He is at the piano and strikes up a rollicking, period-style honky-tonk tune. Singing)
“If they’re big enough,
They’re old enough.”
F
RED
: (
Improvising to the tune
)
“They can all be tall
Or fat or hot
Or cold enough.
(
Slower
)
“They don’t have to be twenty-one,
They will da da by the time
That they are done.
If they’re big enough,
They’re old enough.
They can something something fill in.
Or be bold enough—”
H
Y
: Finish!
(
Singing
)
“So as long as they’ve got the stuff!”
(
F
RED
joins him
:)
F
RED
A
ND
H
Y
: (
Harmonizing
)
“They are—old—enough!!”
H
Y
: (
Jumping up
) Two days! Give us two days. A showstopper!
L
ARRY
: If this show stops anymore, it’s going to stall.
H
Y
: You don’t see it?
L
ARRY
: Promising.
H
Y
: You could
use
some comedy in that first scene. A cathouse can be depressing. I know. I’ve been in plenty.
L
ARRY
: Work on it. Can Gracie and Enid sing well enough for this, Clay?
C
LAY
: I’ll let you know tonight. I think so.
H
Y
: Wait till we finish the number and then let
me
see. I’ll tell you in ten minutes.
L
ARRY
: That’s right, Clay. If it doesn’t work out—we haven’t ruffled any feathers.
H
Y
: It’ll work out, I promise you.
F
RED
: But give him Arpège.
(
F
RED
laughs. No one else
)
L
ARRY
: All right. So. Where were we? Oh, yes. The club. It’s all one grand nonstop party. Superlative food and drink. Dancing. Entertainment. The only difference between this party and the snooty ones on Lake Shore Drive is that at this one—you can choose a girl—retire to privacy—and buy lovemaking, if not love… All this has to be reflected in Scene One. Scene Two is, of course, Jack and Nora—alone at the piano in the middle of the night—we’ve got to get the audience to think they’re going to kiss. They don’t. Instead, they take off on a four-hand reprise of “Nightfall”—and it’s got to feel like they’re making love.
H
Y
: I want to do that by segueing from the original key to one higher then higher and so on.
L
ARRY
: Sounds fine…Now the great set Ivan’s done of the stage within the stage—we see both wings. Jack is out doing his turn. Nora in the wings, watching. Big finish. He takes his calls with that vaudeville music—
H
Y
: I know, I know.
(
He sings
)
“Ya-ta-ta
ya ta ta ta ta ta
Ta
Ya ta ta ta ta ta
Ta ta ta ta ta
Ta ta ta ta taaaaa!
Tsing!!!”
(
All laugh
)
L
ARRY
: Fine. Now he grabs Nora—pulls her on and does his marvelous “discovery” intro. Could be a touch shorter, Chris, by the way.
(
C
HRIS
makes a note
)
She’s in the spot. Music. She sings a number we’ve heard her play at The Everleigh—but we’ve never heard the words—“Wondering.” That’s a cunning notion by the way, Hy. They’ll have heard the tune before—sort of subliminally—so it’ll sound familiar, better. Great idea.
H
Y
: It’s Chris’s.
L
ARRY
: Good. Thanks, Chris. Dressing-room scene. The argument. She won’t go. They quarrel. He grabs her. She slaps him. He slaps her. A moment.
Now
the kiss. When the audience doesn’t expect it. O.K. Train scene. Ensemble number: Overnight. Scene: Jack and Nora. Lights begin to dim. One by one. Sleep. Now—pin spot Nora—got that, Clay?
C
LAY
: It’s done.
L
ARRY
: She sings “Where Am I Going?” Maybe the best number in the show.
H
Y
: Jesus, I hope not. If it is, let’s move it to Act Two.
(
Laughter
)
L
ARRY
: All right. Hotel room. Upright piano. Nora in bed. Jack and Von Tilzer writing the ball-game song. Jack wakes Nora. They do it for her. She doesn’t like it. Jack agrees. She says she likes the one about the moon better. Von Tilzer says, “That ballad? It stinks.” Von Tilzer out. Jack gets her up for the audition. Funny scene—could be funnier.
A
RT
: I’ll bring in some gag men, don’t worry. You’ll be up to your ass in one-liners. Guaranteed.
(
C
HRIS
getting smaller by the minute
)
L
ARRY
: Audition scene. Bare stage. Jack plays for her. Top of the act. She sings the moon song. Showstopper or else. Now Ivan’s big transformation do. From the bare stage to fantastic production number. I’m still not clear about how Nora goes from street clothes to sensational.
A
LICIA
: Not to worry, ducky. It’s all in hand.
L
ARRY
: How? Can you tell us?
A
LICIA
: Can, but won’t. Tricks of the trade, don’t y’know?
L
ARRY
: Opening-night party. What did you decide, Ivan? Rector’s or Delmonico’s?
I
VAN
: A creation. Call what you want.
L
ARRY
: Chorus number. Dance. Polka. Jack and Nora table downstage right. The son-of-a-bitch turns up. Claude. Drunk.
A
RT
: Not
too
drunk.
L
ARRY
: A
little
drunk.
A
RT
: Better if not drunk at all. More menace.
L
ARRY
: You have a point. Let me think on it…Anyway, whatever. He tells her he knows her from The Everleigh Club. Jack says mistake. Claude says, “No, I’m sure. I used to be in there every night when I was in Chicago.” Jack says, “Wrong.” Claude says, “Sorry,” and off. Nora troubled. Jack, too. They go. Party goes on. Hotel room: undressing scene. Another hard one, Alicia.
A
LICIA
: Not for me. It’ll be smashing.
L
ARRY
: Jack calms her down. She says, finally—“So what?” “What if?” “Would it matter?” Now—his big speech on hypocrisy and morals and manners and double standards and tells her not to be so brave—she’ll ruin everything and he’ll get to the Everleighs and so on. They get into bed and hold on to one another…New York street. The son of a bitch accosts her. Have a drink. No. A cup of tea. They walk—this is the treadmill bit—turn into Palm Court. Trio playing. Blackmail. She pays off… A show number…Montage of payoffs, ending with the one in the dressing room—Jack busts in. The jig is up. Fight scene—oh, God, I hate fight scenes—will you help me, Jenny?
J
ENNY
: Certainly. They’re not so bad, so hard, if you stage them like a dance number.
L
ARRY
: But I need blood and all, according to the script.
J
ENNY
: You’ll get it.
L
ARRY
: O.K. The guy pulls himself together—threatens to expose her…“You do,” says Jack, “and I swear to Christ I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you and I’ll get away with it. You’re a swine. The world would be better without you.” I’m paraphrasing.