Authors: Shareef Jaudon
“You’re very welcome.” She smiled girlishly.
And with that final exchange of pleasantries, I turned on the heels of my high gloss dress shoes and walked out of the door. Despite my cool demeanor, my heart was beating like an Indian drum. I had to get to the truck before my spell on Claudette wore off. I disappeared around the corner of the next block just as the sleek Range Rover pulled up behind me. Suddenly relief filled my pounding chest as I spotted Tyce and Sway in the truck. As soon as the SUV pulled up to the curb, I wasted no time getting inside and ducked my head down in the leather seat cushion.
“Go! Go! Go!” I
whispered loudly.
Tyce grinned to himself as he pulled off f
rom the curb smoothly. There were no tires screeching or swerving into traffic. He drove like he was going to church, nice and easy with Deacon Sway riding with him.
“Did you get it?” Sway looked o
ver the seat at me crouching on the floor.
“Yeah
, I got it,” I announced proudly.
Tyce stopped at a red light. “Congratulations rookie. You jus’ used the most powerful we
apon on the planet to steal a forty thousand dollar diamond in under fifteen minutes. If you got a plan, balls and you’re addicted to money…nobody can stop you.”
I fished for the diamond in my pocket as Tyce pulled off from the light. I held the glittering rock in my palm and smiled. I admired that ultra-smooth talking “Teddy”. That conservative dressing mufucka who had balls the size of coconuts.
Roman took his usual seat in Malik’s barber chair on a slow Monday evening, just before closing time. He liked to come during the week to avoid the crowded, popular shop. Malik owned one of the hottest shops on the west coast and everybody clamored to get done up right by him, or his other talented barbers. Roman was very particular about who he let cut his hair. He preferred his hair naturally kinked with a thick beard, but he liked his edges and facial hair on point. Otherwise he would look like a third world mountain man from the neck up.
“What’s up
Roman, how’s the life?” Malik swung the chair around to face the huge mirror.
Roman smirked. “Fast jus’ how I like it.”
“Shit, you better than me. I couldn’t do it nigga. I tried that hustlin’ shit back in the mid-nineties and I could barely keep up. Now I jus’ keep ya’ll niggas lookin’ sharp.” Malik brushed the hair from his clippers.
Roman looked around the shop. There we
re only two other patrons getting haircuts besides him.
“I guess you get to shut down after me huh?
You wanna get a drink or somethin’ after you finish me up?”
Malik sighed. “Naw man, I wish I could. I got one more head after you. Tyce should be in any minute now. He’s jus’ like you, he don’t like to wait either if he can help it.”
Roman cocked his head to the side. “Fuck that pretty ass nigga! He ain’t shit like me. I ain’t a bitch and that nigga’s a straight bitch!”
The already quiet shop went even more silent as Roman’s venomous words echoed in everyone’s
ears. Tyce was a regular in the shop and everybody knew who he was and what he was capable of. On top of that he was well liked.
“You better not let him hear you say that.” Cleo
, a new barber sitting in a corner warned.
“Shut the fuck up Cleo! He might have ya
’ll niggas in here spooked, but I don’t give a fuck! I’ll tell his ass as soon as he steps in this muthafucka that he ain’t shit! Matter fact, take your time Malik, I wanna be here when that nigga walks in.”
Malik pointed to Roman
’s reflection in the mirror making sure to look him in his dark eyes.
“Respect my shop. I sweep up hair, I don’t mop up blood. You got static with Tyce, you take that shit outside.”
“You ain’t even gotta trip fam. I would never disrespect your shit. If the nigga wanna dance I’ll gladly take it out back so I can toss his ass back in the dumpster where he was found. Bitches screamin’ Tyce, niggas screamin’ Tyce…muthafucka I’m Roman!” He frowned up his face.
No sooner had the fiery words spewed from his hair covered mouth a black Benz pulled up to the curb and parked in front of the shop. Malik knew exactly who the flashy car belonged to and so did the rest of the barbers in the shop. To his surprise, a short white dude exited the passenger side accompanied by his best customer…Tyce Adkins. The two men talked a bit by the car before making their way toward the door, but when they came inside once again the shop was on mute.
I
walked inside the barber shop first jiggling my keys. “What’s up peoples? What up Malik?”
Peck trailed me as I
sat down in the small waiting area in front of dozens of magazines neatly spread out.
“This is my nigga Peck. You think you could fit him in after you done with me? I know you ‘bout to close up
, but I’ll take care of you on the back end for the late notice.”
I
noticed the silent night feeling in the shop. Soft jazz flowed from the surround sound, but other than that nobody was saying shit.
“Damn who died?” I turned my
head to the side to look at Peck.
“Nobody yet.” Rom
an stared me down.
I gave him a
puzzled look. “What?”
“Nigga you heard me, talkin’ ‘bout what.” Roman sucked his teeth loudly.
I had no clue who that nigga with an attitude was. He looked familiar enough, but I’d never actually met the dude.
I
grinned. “A’ight nigga, you can tell your girlfriend don’t take it personal that I didn’t call her back after I hit it. I do that shit to a lot of women, but tell her to call me later and maybe we can work somethin’ out.”
Peck slapped his thigh with the magazine and bu
rsted into laughter along with the entire shop. Even Malik had to hold his round stomach as it shook like a spin cycle.
“What the fuck ya
’ll laughin’ at?!” Roman snatched the drape cloth from around his neck and stood up abruptly.
I
remained seated as Roman took a few steps my way. Peck put his hand inside the front pocket of his Miami Heat hoodie and gripped his gun.
“You better get your side kick before I plug his ass.” Roman pointed at Peck.
Peck’s fingers closed around the handle and he glared at the rude stranger.
I shook my
head in amusement. “First of all, who the fuck are you? Second of all, why the fuck are you so sensitive? And third, I ain’t got no problems with stabbin’ you in the eye with a rat tail comb, but I really don’t wanna do that since I’m havin’ a good day.”
“He’s Roman!” Cleo mocked him from his corner.
I stood up after I heard that. Although I didn’t recognize the face, the name was familiar to me after I put some thought into it.
“
Ahhhh you’re Khalil’s boy.” I shook a lazy finger at him.
“I aint nobody’s boy! I’m
a grown ass man and I’ve been itching to put a bullet in you nigga!” Roman’s chest swelled up under his tight fitting red T-shirt.
Peck stood up angrily.
“Please let me shoot this Kimbo Slice lookin’ fool.”
“
Fuck you lil’ white boy, I’ll-”
Roman flexed in Pecks direction
, but I quickly jabbed him in the throat with the pointy end of a key on my key ring. The unseen blow was a direct hit to his Adam’s apple causing a once irate man to instantly retreat as he struggled to breathe. I calmly walked up to a bent over Roman, snatched a fistful of his long hair and sent him crashing to the floor from a razor sharp elbow to his right temple.
“What we
re you about to say Roman?” I put a finger behind my ear. “I can’t hear you nigga, speak up.”
I put the bottom of my
baby blue all suede Jordan’s on Roman’s dark, wrinkled forehead.
Then I took my
gun out from behind my back and mashed the barrel into my victim’s neck. Roman was still fighting to breathe and the added pressure on his throat was making his air intake labored. Everyone in the shop watched with wide eyes as I leaned over him.
“
The only reason you’re not swallowing this bullet is because of Malik. I know he don’t want CSI up in here and caution tape all across his damn seats.”
Roman’s eyes began to tear up as a result of the lack of oxygen
to his brain.
“And the only reason you’re not being skull dragged into the alley and scalped…is because of your boss. Tell Khalil to call me.”
“Come on Tyce, let me shoot him! I’ll put a nice lil’ part in his head.” Peck finally pulled out his new gun. He was anxious to break it in.
“Naw, he’s cool. He would apologize if he could talk. We’ll come back for that cut
later Malik…let’s go Peck.”
P
eck turned to follow me out, but turned around suddenly to address the stunned on lookers, “It was a pleasure meetin’ yall…nice shop Malik.”
Why does everybody keep testing me? Every time I look around some nigga is trying to earn their stripes or take me out for some bull shit reason. First it was Biz, and then it was my punk ass daddy Diego and his brother. Oh let’s not forget about the shady detective, the parking lot Crips, or my so-called best friend Omar. All of a sudden it was that nigga Roman. Don’t get me wrong, I could handle my own. If they wanted it, I delivered in thirty minutes or less. I was just tired of people flexing on me. Maybe I should get a line of T-shirts that say, “DON’T FUCK WITH ME!”
On top of the challenging job of robbing an armored truck, I had the added pressure of a dysfunctional relationship. Angelique still wasn’t talking to me outside of the normal hi and bye shit. We were still sleeping in separate rooms and we hadn’t had sex in over four weeks, but I still held my ground. I was not about to cave in and change my ways, or my morals for anybody, including her. I wasn’t telling her to stop running that sex club because she was a new mom. What mom spends her days and nights around horny strangers having orgies? I’ll tell you who; the mother of my daughter and to tell you the truth, that was just fine with me. She was the one who wanted a different person, not me.
Lately, when my head hit the pillow at night, I found myself thinking of Dallas. Maybe it was because I could still smell her Dolce and Gabbana perfume in the room. It could be because Sabrina brought her up by asking me that hard ass question out of the blue. I had trouble sleeping for various reasons, but none kept me up at night more than Dallas. I was conflicted over what happened to her. At the time it seemed like the right thing to do. I gave her every opportunity to come clean and stop her endless supply of lies, but she chose to play me like a fool and smile while she did it. She was like a child who had to have a dose of tough love to get a little act right in her diet. The harder the head, the harder the lesson.
As I turned the soft pillow over to the cooler side, I found myself once again thinking about Dallas. Maybe it was time to reach out to her. Maybe I was just feeling that way because I wasn’t getting any pussy. I did have a lot of pent up sexual energy that I wanted to let out and Dallas’s soft center would be the perfect bull’s eye to sink my fat arrow into. As a man in a relationship, I should’ve been able to dick my woman down whenever I wanted, but as usual Angelique was working that night. Besides that we were fighting and unlike other people, I never really got into mad sex. If I was mad at a woman the last thing I wanted to do was make her happy with my dick.
I kept replaying the question Sabrina asked me at her table.
“Do you think Dallas would ask you to change?”
As I laid there wide awake in my girlfriend’s old bed the answer to that question was no.
~
Newness
I threw myself into my work like a mad woman. Between Khari and my businesses, I stayed too busy to focus on Tyce and my unhappiness. I was absolutely furious that he was actually still planning to do that dangerous heist. I tried not to let my attitude show on my pretty face as I mingled with my guests at our
naughty
or
naughty
party. Our guests partied, danced, drank and fucked the night away and there was still three hours to go until I closed up shop. That night I was projected to make over 25,000 dollars in profit just from the door. With that kind of cake why did my man have to rob armored trucks?!
I looked fierce in my work uniform, which consisted of very little fabric. My round ass received all the attention due to my extra short boy shorts that had the word
LOOK
written across my ass. Up top I sported a red matching bra that had
AT
written on the right side and
ME
etched in the left side. True to the words spelled out on my private parts, everyone was indeed
looking at me
as I strutted across the crowded room toward the DJ booth. I gave my employee the signal to change the music to a more upbeat techno feel when I felt a strong, warm hand gently touch the flesh on my rib cage. I quickly looked over my shoulder and the face staring back at me smiled sexily.