Authors: Ashley Ryan
“Kill the baby?” I asked. I was shocked that father would even suggest such a thing.
“What grows inside you is not a baby, but a monster, conceived in hate. A seed sewn in hatred with only bear hate.” Father said.
“What do you think I should do?” I asked.
“If it were solely my decision, you would already be on your way to Atlanta to see the doctor. It is your body and I will not try to force you to do anything that you don’t want to.” Father replied.
“If I have this child, what will become of it?” I asked.
“It will be born into slavery” Father said.
“Because it will be black” I said.
“It is the child of a slave” Father said.
“But it will be a part of me” I said.
“No darling. It will be a beast of the field.” Father said.
A few days passed before I spoke with Father again. I agreed to go to his doctor but not because I was afraid of giving birth or having the child, but the thought of having my child
become a slave was more than I could bear. To see him working in the field, or see her scrubbing the floor was not something I was willing to do. Father and Sissy went with me to Atlanta. It took several days to get there but it seemed like an eternity. Father got a hotel room. The doctor had already told father that I would not be able to travel for a week after the surgery.
I was given a shot. I don’t remember much after that shot except the sight of what looked like a thin metal wire as the doctor prepared to insert it into my vagina. I woke up in a hospital room. My stomach was cramping worse than I had ever felt it before. I thought for a while that something had gone wrong and that I might be dying. Over the next few days I passed bloody chunks that I assumed were part of my baby. I would have given anything to take back what I’d done.
We stayed in the hotel for a week until the doctor said it was safe to travel. I returned home feeling like I was carrying a great weight. Father had instructed Sissy not to breathe a word about our trip, even to her mother.
I returned home too depressed to
eat, I didn’t sleep a full night for several months. Sissy waited on me, but she was caught up with Henry who was now courting her full time. They were married the following year. Father didn’t hold me to our agreement. It was the following spring before he asked if I was ready to be courted. I told him that I was. I was ready to move on with my life. I felt like I’d made a huge mistake, both with Gabriel, and with how I handled my situation.
Two years after my trip to Atlanta I married a nice young man that my Father had introduced me to. He father was a prominent businessman several towns away. His family pretty much owned the whole town and he seemed really nice. I never had anything to do with Gabriel again and left him behind when I moved away to be with my new husband. I traded him to father for Henry because I wanted to take Sissy with me. After my Father passed she became the only one who knew what we’d done. Even Charlotte thought I’d just had a miscarriage. Sissy became my trusted friend over the next few years and our kids play well together.
The Masters Whore
I hated the thought of leaving my mother and father. I felt sick to my stomach when the master told me that I had been sold. There was just really no place for me on the plantation. A female slave was only good for house chores or light work. My only real duties had been to keep the barn clean, collect eggs and milk the cows. There were plenty of other slaves that could have taken over my duties and I guess the master finally noticed that.
I wasn't alone though, he'd sold Maddy, Pearl and Ruby too, all of us to the same man who lived several counties away. It may as well have been several states or even countries away because I knew I’d never see my parents or my brother again. The master didn't tell us we had been sold until the day that our new owner was supposed to arrive. We had only a few hours to prepare and say our farewells. I guess he did it that way to keep us from running away, and I probably would have if I'd know the day before.
"Least you won’t be lone" my brother said as he hugged me. "Maddy, Ruby and Pearl will be with you.
Mother sat in the corner by the old crooked fireplace that heated our shack crying uncontrollably while daddy fought back the tears and tried to put on a strong face for me. I wasn't sure why I'd been sold. I'd always been a hard worker and though my duties were small I did them diligently. Looking back I can see that the Master just had no place for me or the other girls. His plantation needed strong men and for what he sold us for, I'm sure he was able to buy a couple of young bucks, or maybe even one in his prime.
Ruby and Pearl were sisters; their father had been killed a few years earlier when a mule kicked him in the head. As we climbed onto the cargo wagon of our new master, their mother who'd been acting as strong as my daddy had been, finally
broke down and started toward the wagon. My daddy and Maddy's daddy held her back for her own good. They knew she'd likely be whipped if she tried to stop the wagon from leaving, and it would not do any good anyway. Pearl and Ruby were already as upset as I was and seeing their mother like that only added to their hurt.
The wagon began moving. I watched out the back as my parent’s figures grew smaller and smaller until they became nothing but tiny specks and then disappeared as we rounded the corner and left the plantation.
"Chin up" Came a man's voice that thick with a British accent. "All good things come to an end, but perhaps better things await you."
I couldn't possibly imagine better things awaiting me. I knew nothing about where I was going and our new master wasn't speaking to me directly so I knew it was improper to ask any questions of him. If anything he was probably directing his statement to Pearl who was still sobbing uncontrollably.
"Charles told me your names, but not who was who. You may call me Mister Miller, now would you be so kind as to introduce yourselves?" he asked though my focus was on my breaking heart and his think accent.
"I'm Maddy" Maddy quickly replied.
"I'm Alice" I replied.
"I'm Ruby and this is my sister Pearl" Ruby said as she took her eyes off of her feet and cut them up to look at her new master.
"Ah yes, my jewels" The man said.
The trip was a long one, nearly a hundred miles and took two days. I couldn't help but think that for the time spent Master Miller must have gotten a good deal for the four of us. As the sun began to set Mister Miller had his driver stop in a small town along the way. His driver was an older slave who he called Bird, though I wasn't sure if that was his actual name or just a nickname. We stopped at a hotel and the master went inside. A few minutes later he returned.
"Bird, you will stay out here with them tonight. You are responsible for them so be mindful" Mister Miller said with a raised eyebrow.
"So we're sleeping in the wagon?" I asked Bird after the Master had gone back inside.
"Yeah" was all he said.
"What kind of plantation does Master Miller have?" Maddy asked.
"He gots a big one" Bird said.
"What will we be doing?" Maddy asked.
"Most likely you be in the chicken houses" Bird replied.
"Chicken houses?" I asked.
"Yeah, Massa Miller got lots of chicken houses and he gots cows and he grow cotton and wheat and tobacco. He do a little bit of everythang" Bird responded.
Maddy and I curled up under a shared blanket. Ruby and Pearl covered under their blanked as well. It was a cool night and fall was in definitely in the air. I didn't feel safe in the covered wagon. The ends were open and though it was getting late, there were still a few people on the street who looked inside as they passed.
"If Bird your name?" Maddy asked of our driver.
"My name Noah, but the Masters call me Bird." He replied.
"Why?" Maddy asked.
"On account of when I was a boy I jumped out of an oak tree and tried to fly.
Broked one of my arms and one of my legs and cracked a couple of ribs. I still crippled up from it and can't work in the field so day put me driving and watching after the females and stuff." Bird replied.
"You said the masters, is there more than one?" I asked.
"Yeah, days Massa Miller who over duh slaves and days Massa Edward who over everything. He duh one who owns duh plantation. Den days Mastas Thomas and Paul whose Massa Edward's sons. Den days Mastas Smith and Wright, day work for Massa Edward like Massa Miller does." Bird said.
"You've been with them a long time" Ruby added.
"I's born dare, my momma was born dare too" Bird replied. "You be okay dare, aint no bad place."
I felt a little relief when Bird said that. I was still anxious and scared but there was some hope at least. Bird slept in the front of the wagon while the rest of us hunkered into the back. Bird was probably the only one who slept that night. Maddy and I stayed awake for the longest whispering to each other about our possible futures. Maddy wasn't as concerned as I was, and I don't think either of us was as scared as Pearl and Ruby. Ruby was a little older that Pearl and tried to comfort her, but it was plain to see that Ruby was just as afraid as her little sister.
The next morning I awoke to Bird's voice. He was talking to Pearl and Ruby about what our new home was like. I listened in for a while and pretended to still be asleep.
"Days lots of cabins dare and probably a hundred slaves, it's a big ole place. You share a cabin with other females less you get married den you get
yo own cabin if one free and if it aint den ever body help build you one." Bird said.
"There were only fifteen of us at our old plantation" Pearl said.
"We gots moe den dat just in duh chicken houses." Bird replied. "How old is you?"
"I'm eighteen, my sister is sixteen" Ruby replied.
"And yo friends?" Bird asked.
Pearl gave a blank look. "I don't rightly know bout Maddy" Ruby began "Alice is the same age as me. We only four months apart but Maddy wasn't born on the plantation. She was already seven or eight maybe when her and her daddy came, so she be a little older than the ever body else. How old
is you?"
"I
aint sure, thirty something" Bird replied.
Maddy opened her eyes from her deep sleep as the early light grew brighter. Maddy sat up and was greeted with a good morning from the others. I figured I might as well sit up too.
"Glad yall up. Master Miller be out soon." Bird replied.
We ate breakfast that Bird prepared. Master Miller ate at the hotel which I'm sure was better than what the rest of us were eating. The wagon began moving again once Master Miller gave the command and we set out on another long day and bumpy day.
The ride was pretty quiet except for the occasional comment by our new master here and there. I hated to ask but I had reached a point of urgency.
"Sir, can we stop for a moment?" I asked.
"Whatever for?" Master Miller asked.
"Nature has been calling for a time now and if I don't head the call I'm afraid of what
gonna happen" I said. It was the nicest way that I could think of to tell him that I had to pee.
"Very well, Bird
find a nice secluded spot" Master Miller ordered. "Anyone else need to obey the calling?"
Everyone else, including Bird said that they needed to go. Bird had found a spot along the road with a lot of tree and bush growth. The other girls and I ventured around behind a large fallen tree and some wild blackberry bushes. We carefully removed our undergarments and squatted in various places.
As I began pissing on the pine straw that covered the ground I looked up toward the wagon. There was an opening through the thick bush, almost like a small hole that had been cut away or drilled through. I could see movement on the other side of the hole maybe six or seven feet from where I was squatted down. I could tell that it was a person but couldn't see who it was. Then I made out the distinct waist and black hand and knew that it was Bird. He walked over to the bush and apparently didn't think that anyone could see him. He untied the rope that held his pants up and pulled down the front of them exposing he large penis. I finished pissing and watched as he pulled back the foreskin that covered his long black snake exposing its purple looking head. My heart raced as he began peeing into the bush. I'd never seen a grown man's penis before and I felt myself getting moist at the excitement of watching him. I knew that I shouldn't be watching but I couldn't help myself. Maybe it was because it was taboo that it excited me so.
When he'd finished he placed his man parts back into his pants and retied his rope. I pulled up undergarments and returned to the wagon where Pearl, Ruby and Maddy were already waiting. We continued our trip westward toward the sun which had reached its highest point and was now starting to wane. There was still a lot of daylight left and I had head the master say that we would arrive by the evening.
The silence felt awkward to me. There was little sound other than that of the wagon wheels grinding against the ground, the clopping sound of the horses hooves, and the occasional grunts from everyone when he ran over a rock or some other object in the road.