Baby Doll & Tiger Tail (20 page)

ARCHIE
[
sarcastically
]: Do you build a fire in th’ stove?

BABY DOLL
: No, you forget to do that. That’s why they call them eggs Birmingham, I suppose.

[
She laughs at her own wit, and Silva follows with a good laugh
.]

ARCHIE
: Aunt Rose! Set down! I want to ask you a question.

[
Aunt Rose Comfort sits down slowly and stiffly, all atremble
.]

What sort of—plans have you made?

AUNT ROSE
: Plans, Archie Lee? What sort of plans do you mean?

ARCHIE
: Plans for the future!

BABY DOLL
: I don’t think this kind of discussion is necessary in front of company.

SILVA
: Mr. Meighan, when a man is feeling uncomfortable over something, it often happens that he takes it out on some completely innocent person just because he has to make somebody suffer.

ARCHIE
: You keep out of this too. I’m askin’ Aunt Rose a perfectly sensible question. Now, Aunt Rose. You been here since August and that’s a mighty long stay. Now, it’s my honest opinion that you’re in need of a rest. You been cookin’ around here and cookin’ around there for how long now? How long you been cookin’ around people’s houses?

AUNT ROSE
[
barely able to speak
]: I’ve helped out my—relatives—folks—whenever they—
needed me to!
I was always—
invited!
Sometimes
begged
to come! When
babies
were expected or when somebody was
sick
, they called for Aunt Rose, and Aunt Rose was always—ready. . . . Nobody
ever
had to—
put-me-out!
—If you—gentlemen will excuse me from the table—I will pack my things! If I hurry I’ll catch the nine o’clock bus to—

[
She can’t think “where to
.”]

SILVA
[
rising
]: Miss Rose Comfort. Wait. I’ll drive you home.

AUNT ROSE
: —I don’t!—have nowhere to!—go. . .

SILVA
[
crossing to her
]: Yes, you do. I need someone to cook for me at my place. I’m tired of my own cooking and I am anxious to try those eggs Birmingham you mentioned. Is it a deal?

AUNT ROSE
: —Why, I—

BABY DOLL
: Sure it’s a deal. Mr. Vacarro will be good to you, Aunt Rose Comfort, and he will even
pay
you, and maybe—well y’never can tell about things in the future. . .

AUNT ROSE
:
I’ll run pack my things!

[
She resumes a reedy hymn in a breathless cracked voice as she goes upstairs
.]

ARCHIE
: Anything else around here you wanta take with yuh, Vacarro?

[
Silva looks around coolly as if considering the question. Baby Doll utters a high, childish giggle
.]

Well,
is
they? Anything else around here you wanta take away with yuh?

BABY DOLL
[
raising gaily
]: Why, yaiss, Archie Lee. Mr. Vacarro noticed the house was overloaded with furniture and he would like us to loan him five complete sets of it to—

ARCHIE
[
seizing the jug of liquor
]: YOU SHUDDUP! I will git to you later.

BABY DOLL
: If you ever git to me it sure is going to be
later
, ha ha, much later, ha ha.

[
Baby Doll crosses to the kitchen sink, arranging her kiss-me-quicks in the soap-splashed mirror, also regarding the two men behind her with bland satisfaction. She hums away. Archie Lee stands by the table, breathing heavy as a walrus in labor. He looks from one to the other. Silva coolly picks up a big kitchen knife and lops off a hunk of bread, then tosses the kitchen knife out of Archie Lee’s reach and dips the bread in the pot of greens
.]

SILVA
: Colored folks call this pot liquor.

BABY DOLL
: I love pot liquor.

SILVA
: Me, too.

BABY DOLL
[
dreamily
]: —Crazy ’bout pot liquor. . .

[
She turns around and rests her hips against sink. Archie Lee’s breathing is loud as a cotton gin, his face fiery. He takes swallow after swallow from the jug. Vacarro devours the bread
.]

SILVA
: Mm-UMMM!

BABY DOLL
: Good?

SILVA
:
Yes!
—
Good!

BABY DOLL
: —
That’s
good. . .

[
Old Fussy makes a slow stately entrance, pushing the door open wider with her fat hips and squawking peevishly at this slight inconvenience. Archie Lee wheels about violently and hurls something at her. She flaps and squawks back out
.

[
Baby Doll giggles
.]

Law! Ole Fussy mighty near made it that time! Why, that old hen was comin’ in like she had been invited t’ supper.

[
Her giggly voice expires as Archie Lee wheels back around and bellows. Archie Lee explodes volcanically. His violence should give him a Dostoevskian stature. It builds steadily through the scene as a virtual lunacy possesses him with the realization of his hopeless position
.]

ARCHIE: OH HO HO HO HO! Now you all listen to me! Quit giving looks back and forth an’ listen to me! Y’think I’m deaf, dumb an’ blind or somethin’, do yuh? You’re
mistook
, Oh, brother, but you’re much, much—
mistook!
Ohhhhh, I knooooow! —I guess I look like a—I guess I look like a—

[
Panting, puffing pause; he reels a little, clutching a chair back
.]

BABY DOLL
[
with an insolently childish lisp
]: What d’you guess you look like, Archie Lee? Yo’ was about t’ tell us an’ then yuh quit fo’ some—

ARCHIE
:
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Some little innocent Baby Doll of a wife not yet ready fo’ marriage, oh no, not yet ready for marriage but plenty ready t’— Oh, I see how it’s funny, I can see how it’s funny, I see the funny side of it.
Oh ho ho ho ho!
Yes it sure is comic, comic as hell! But there’s one little teeny-eensy little—thing that you—
overlooked!
I! Got
position!
Yeah, yeah,
I
got
position!
Here in this county. Where I was bo’n an’ brought up! I hold a respectable position, lifelong!—member of—Wait! Wait! Baby Doll. . .

[
Baby Doll has started to cross past him; he seizes her wrist. Vacarro stirs and tenses slightly but doesn’t rise or change his cool smile
.]

ARCHIE
: On my side’re friends, long standin’
bus’ness
associates, an’
social!
See what I mean? You ain’t got that advantage, have yuh, mister? Huh, mister? Ain’t you a dago, or something, excuse me, I mean Eyetalian or something, here in Tiger Tail County?

SILVA
: Meighan, I’m not a doctor, but I was a medical corpsman in the Navy and you’ve got a very unhealthy looking flush on your face right now—almost as purple as a—

[
He was going to say “baboon’s ass
.”]

ARCHIE
[
bellowing out
]: ALL I GOT TO DO IS GIT ON THAT PHONE IN THE HALL!

SILVA
: And call an ambulance from the county hospital?

ARCHIE
: Hell, I don’t even need t’ make a phone call! I can handle this situation
m’self!
—with legal protection that no one could—

SILVA
[
still coolly
]: What situation do you mean, Meighan?

ARCHIE
: Situation which I come home to find here under my roof! Oh, I’m not such a marble-missing old fool! I couldn’t size it up! —I sized it up the moment I seen you was still on this place and
her!
—with that
sly smile on her!

[
He takes a great swallow of liquor from the fresh jug
.]

And you with
yours
on
you!
I know how to wipe off both of those sly—!

[
He crosses to the closet door. Baby Doll utters a gasp and signals to Vacarro to watch out. Vacarro rises calmly
.]

SILVA
: Meighan?

[
He speaks coolly almost with a note of sympathy
.]

You know, and
I
know, and I
know
that you
know
that I
know!
—That you set fire to my cotton gin last night. You burnt down the Syndicate Gin and I got a confession and a witness whose testimony will hold up even in the law courts of Tiger Tail County! —That’s all I come here for and that’s all I got. . . whatever else you suspect—well!—you’re mistaken. . . . Isn’t that so, Mrs. Meighan? Isn’t your husband mistaken
in thinking that I got anything out of this place but
proof
, which was the purpose of my all-afternoon call?

[
She looks at him, angry, hurt. Archie Lee wheels about, panting
.]

Yes, I’m foreign but I’m not revengeful, Meighan, at least not more than is rightful.

[
He smiles sweetly
.]

—I think we got a workable good neighbor policy between us. It might work out, anyhow I think it deserves a try. Now as to the other side of the situation, which I don’t have to mention. Well, all I can say is, a certain attraction—exists! Mutually, I believe! I took a nap in the nursery crib and I have a faint recollection of being sung to by someone—a lullaby song that was—sweet. . .

[
His voice is low, caressing
.]

—and the touch of—cool fingers.

ARCHIE
: Y’think I’m gonna put up with this—?

SILVA
: Situation? You went to a whole lot of risk an’ trouble to get my business back. Now don’t you want it? It’s up to you, Meighan, it’s—

ARCHIE
: COOL! Yeah, cool, very cool!

SILVA
: The heat of the fire’s died down. . .

ARCHIE
: UH HUH! YOU’VE FIXED YOUR WAGON! WITH THIS SMART TALK, YOU JUST NOW FIXED YOUR WAGON! I’M GONNA MAKE A PHONE CALL THAT’LL WIPE THE GRIN OFF YOUR GREASY WOP FACE FOR GOOD!

[
He charges into the hall and seizes the phone
.]

SILVA
[
crossing to Baby Doll at the kitchen sink
]: Is my wop face greasy, Mrs. Meighan?

[
She remains at the mirror but her childish smile fades. Her face goes vacant and blind: she suddenly tilts her head back against the bare throat of the man standing behind her. Her eyes are clenched shut. . . . His eyelids flutter as his body presses against all the mindless virgin softness of her abundant young flesh. We can’t see their hands, but hers are stretched behind her, his before him
.]

ARCHIE
[
in the hall, bellowing like a steer
]: I WANT SPOT, MIZZ HOPKINS, WHE’ IS SPOT!?

BABY DOLL
[
to Vacarro
]: I think you better go ’way. . .

SILVA
: I’m just waiting to take you girls away with me. . .

BABY DOLL
[
softly as if in a dream
]: Yeah. I’m goin’ too. I’ll check in at the Kotton King Hotel and— now I better go pack. . .

[
She releases herself regretfully from the embrace and crosses into the hall
.

[
Silva looks after her. As she passes Archie Lee she utters a sharp outcry as Archie Lee strikes at her
.]

BABY DOLL
: You ole son of a bitch, you’re gonna be sorry for ev’ry time you laid your ugly ole hands on me, you stinking stinker,
stinkerrrrrr!

[
He has drawn back his hand to smack her again, but quick as lightning she snatches his thick-lensed glasses from his prominent nose and tosses them over her head
.]

BABY DOLL
: There now! How’s your eye-sight?

ARCHIE
: Bitch! Bitch! Gimme back my glasses!

BABY DOLL
: Colleck ’em in hell!

[
Archie Lee stumbles dizzily about when he hears the screen door slamming on Silva’s exit. He starts crashing into chairs
,
the table
,
etc. Baby Doll watches with silent laughter from the hall. Archie has trouble locating the kitchen closet. While he is fumbling for it, Baby Doll dashes past the closet to the phone area and snatches the phone from the bare floor
.]

BABY DOLL
[
in a tense whisper
]: Operator, git me the police chief of Tiger Tail, yais, the chief, not just the police. Quick, a crazy man’s in the house tryin’ t’ grab me! Aw! Chief! This is Baby Doll McCorkle, the ex-Mrs. Meighan out in the haunted house on Tiger Tail Road! You heah that commotion? That’s my ex-husband, Archie Lee Meighan, tryin’ to git his shotgun out of the closet. Oh my God, he’s got the gun-closet open, he’s—

[
Archie Lee seizes a broom then discovers his mistake with a howl of rage. He crashes against the wall. His nose is bloodied, but now he has his shotgun. Vacarro gives Baby Doll a soft whistle as she darts into the yard. He stands by the pecan tree, clutches a lower branch and swings up into a wide fork of the tree then leans over to lift Baby Doll up beside him. The fork is almost free of foliage so they are clearly visible
.]

SILVA
: Climb higher so Meighan can’t see us!

BABY DOLL
[
laughing
]: He won’t be able to see an elephant’s ass, jus’
look!

SILVA
:
Shhh!

[
Archie Lee has staggered onto the porch with shotgun. He collides with a column then shoots wildly at a shadow swaying in the wind. Aunt Rose screams. Archie Lee falls off the porch
.]

ARCHIE
: WOP, WOP, YELLA-BELLY, WHERE ARE YUH?

[
He careens dizzily around the yard, fires at a chicken coop, then into the wheelless and topless chassis of the derelict automobile, then here, then there. He exits around the side of the house
.]