Authors: Judith Pella
“Of course, Maggie.”
“Not here,” she said, taking his hand and leading him behind the barn where they would be hidden from the view of Mama and Ellie, who were still working in the front yard and had been joined by a few of the Sewing Circle women.
The rock wall that backed the garden extended several feet behind the barn as a retaining wall. Maggie’s heart began thudding as she and William sat down on the wall. She hardly noticed the wild scent of the broom growing profusely among the grass like a yellow sea on the hillside. A bumble bee, looking for flower nectar, buzzed around their heads for a few moments, reminding Maggie that it was a lovely summer morning and one day she would look back on this as a very special day.
“So, Maggie, what’s on your mind?” William asked. “Are you still worried about the sheriff?”
“I think I am safe for the time being,” she said. She didn’t want to just blurt out what was on her mind. “How is Mrs. Cook?”
“She doesn’t have long. But she seems ready to meet her Maker.”
“You must have stayed with her a long time. I t was late when you came in.”
“You were awake?”
“I haven’t slept well lately.” She sighed. “My mind has been in great turmoil, over Tommy and . . . well, over you, William, as well.”
“Over me?”
“Having you here in our home these last few days has been special.”
“I’ve seen so little of you.”
“Mama keeps sending me to Mrs. Donnelly’s, but she can’t keep us apart forever.” Maggie’s heart was pounding like a hammer in her chest.
“Us?”
“William,I think it is time we made public our feelings for each other.” There.I t was said, and she thought she’d done it very maturely.
Why did he look like he had just swallowed that bumble bee?
“Maggie . . . Maggie . . . I . . .” He blinked a few times, opened his mouth but uttered nothing else.
“You’re hesitant, I know,” she soothed, “because of your secrets. But they don’t matter to me. I . . . ah . . . love you, William.” She ignored how difficult it had been to get the word
love
out of her mouth.
“You love me?” he rasped. Then he blinked and added, “Secrets? What secrets?”
“They have all burned up in the fire, and it’s just as well,” she said. “I don’t care why you hid your preaching license or the church building money. Or why you have a photo of the family of someone else named William.”
“You . . . searched my room?” He seemed to be having trouble breathing.
“Accidentally, when I went to get some of your clothes for Mama to alter.” Now she was feeling defensive. Maybe it had been a mistake to mention the things she’d found in his room.
“Maggie, how could you?”
“I said I don’t care about any of it. I have secrets, too. You andI—we share secrets.” She nodded encouragingly.
“What are you saying?”
“It’s just that . . .” Why was this so hard?I t was what she wanted. “I think it means that we belong with each other. William, I want us to get married!”
Jumping up, he stared incredulously at her. Finally, chuckling nervously, he said, “Oh, you almost had me! Maggie, you are quite the jester! Ha, ha!”
He may as well have lit a match to a fuse. “Why, you—you miserable rat!” she railed. “You low-down dirty—snake! You deceived me, you—”
“Maggie, hush! Your mother will hear!” he looked frantically around.
“My mother! Ha!” She gave a derisive snort. “She’d just think it was a joke, too. That’s what I am to you all—just a joke! Did you laugh hard after you kissed me, William? Was that a joke, too? I s your name even William?I s it Zack, or Zacchaeus? Oh yes, Ellie told me all about that! Who are you—?” She stopped abruptly as she saw a stark look of panic on William’s face. “You do have a secret, don’t you? Who are you, William?”
“Maggie, stop while you are ahead,” he said rather desperately.
She grasped his arm, suddenly hating herself for her outburst. “I’m sorry, William. What I said before is true. I don’t care about your secrets.”
“You should care,” he murmured. Then, with a shake of his head, added, “I have to go.”
“We can still be married,” she pleaded. “We can keep each other’s secrets.”
“Don’t ever beg for a man’s affections,” he said with a hard edge to his tone. “You are better than that . . . better than me. Don’t forget that.”
He turned and walked away.
She wanted to run after him, but tears began to spill from her eyes and she didn’t want her mother or Ellie to see her cry and start asking questions. And why should she go after him anyway? He had just rejected her. She was doomed to always being thought of as a child.
Why should he be surprised by any of this? Zack had pushed this insane scheme further and harder than it could possibly have stood. He’d known someone was going to get hurt, yet still he had pushed.
Now there was no question about what he must do. He strode as quickly as his sore foot allowed to the front of the barn, all the while waiting to hear Maggie’s footsteps running after him, her voice calling his name. But another voice, feared no less, reached his ears.
“Reverend Locklin!”
It was Ada’s voice.
“Come see what we’re doing.”
He knew he must leave this place—not only the Newcomb house but Maintown, too—yet he had to do so in the least conspicuous way possible.I gnoring his hostess and riding off right before her eyes was sure to raise questions. So he turned from his goal of the barn and walked to where a half dozen ladies were gathered around the frame that Ada and Ellie, after refusing his offer of help, had carried outside earlier. On the frame was spread a quilt. He knew that’s what they must want him to see, so he perused it carefully. I t was made of red cloth and a white material Zack thought was probably muslin. Unlike the welcome quilt, this was of a single uniform design.L ight and dark tones combined with squares and diamond shapes to form a pattern that was almost three-dimensional, while at the same time there was a central star shape that seemed to be spinning.
“It’s a very nice quilt,” he said.
“Mary Renolds made it,” Ada said.
“I made it several years ago and tucked the top away in my cedar chest,” Mary explained. “I suppose I was waiting for just the right moment for it to be quilted and passed on to the right person.” She smiled. “When I told Ada and Emma Jean I had a quilt of this pattern in my chest that only needed to be quilted, we laughed, and though in a way it is silly, it is also rather perfect, too. Don’t you think?”
Zack had no idea what she was talking about and was fast losing patience. He didn’t have time to solve riddles. Maggie might chose any moment to appear and accuse him of any number of indiscretions.
“He doesn’t know what you are talking about,” Emma Jean said. “And who could expect him to with such a ramble? Reverend, the pattern of this quilt is called Bachelor’s Puzzle.” She smiled, arching a brow. He still didn’t know what she meant.
“We thought it was fitting,” Ada said.
“This is all very interesting, ladies, truly it is,” he said. “But if you would excuse me,I have a rather pressing errand to attend to.”
“Of course, Reverend,” Emma Jean said, but apparently she wasn’t about to let him off so easily. “First, let us clarify ourselves. Mary has donated this quilt to a special cause. If you like it—I know it is not blue—but if you would accept it, we want to present it to you to replace the quilt lost in the fire.
Once it is quilted, of course.”
“Which we plan to do today,” put in Ada.
“You want to give me this quilt?” he asked, incredulous. This was almost more unexpected than Maggie’s marriage proposal.
“Why?” he gasped.
“It is our way of assuring you that you are part of our family,” Ada said. “The first quilt was given to a stranger, so in a way this has even more meaning. And we want you to know one thing—the quilt may be called Bachelor’s Puzzle, but there is no puzzle in our minds as to how much you mean to us, Reverend.”
“You shouldn’t say that,” he replied through a constricted throat.
“Look, we’ve gotten him all embarrassed,” Polly Briggs said.
Then Jane Donnelly, who had been sitting quietly in a chair by the frame, rose, came to Zack, and took his hand. “We are so thankful God sent you to us, Reverend.”
He wanted to scream, “How can you of all people say that after what I did to your family?” But she did not blame him and never had. He did not understand any of it.
He just knew he had to get away—now!
“Thank you all so much.I’m’m . . . ah . . . real touched.” But inside he was saying,
Keep your quilt. Save it for someone who deserves it
. “I really must go.”
As he turned to leave, he saw Ellie out of the corner of his eye. He’d been studiously trying to avoid looking at her the entire time, though he had been acutely aware of her presence. For a brief wild and crazy moment he thought of staying. He could cajole Maggie out of her nonsense. He could—
But his inner alarm—
Run! Run! Run!
—drowned out all indecision.
This time he heeded the warning and hurried to the barn, where he saddled his horse. Unfortunately, he was not lucky enough to make the clean escape he’d desired.
“Reverend L ocklin, are you all right?” Ellie asked on entering the barn.
“Ellie,” he said, “I’m in a hurry. That’s all.” The words came out sharply in his need for haste.
“Oh.”
“I guess I hurt the women’s feelings.” He had to say something. He was leaving forever, yet even now he didn’t want them to hate him. How ridiculous was that? They are going to hate me no matter what, once they figure out what I’ve’ve done.
She
is going to hate me. That’s what pained him most. When I am gone, she will think of me only with revulsion.
And the craziest part of this entire fiasco was that he cared what Ellie thought of him. When Maggie had been uttering her proposal, he’d been wishing it were Ellie instead, even though he knew he could never marry either sister. Because once such words were spoken, it would mean the end of the game. He’d been too selfish and weak to stop when he should have. He’d even foolishly started to think this could be his life. But his life was out there, a drifter with no friends, no family, and no bed upon which to lay a pretty quilt.
“Zack . . .” she murmured.
His head jerked a double take at the unexpected sound of his true name on her lips. “What—?”
“You told me to call you Zack.”
“I have to go . . .I have to leave.” Desperately he looked around. For a way of escape? But she had called him by his name. Did she know about him after all? Did that mean he could stay?
“You haven’t hurt anyone’s feelings,” she said. “They actually thought you might be choked up and too embarrassed for them to see, so that’s why you hurried off.”
“Why did you come, then? Did you want to see me cry?”
Give me a minute and I will, he thought sadly.
“No. I just wanted to be sure you understood.I guess I was afraid you might think they were making fun of you. When I saw what Mrs. Renolds’s quilt pattern was, I tried to get them to put off the presentation.”
“You mean the Bachelor’s Puzzle?I t is rather funny when you think of it.” But there was no amusement in his tone. All the girls had wanted to catch the bachelor minister, while the minister wanted the one girl who didn’t want to catch him.
It was funny and puzzling and sad, very, very sad. “You were against it all from the start, though, Ellie. Wisely, you knew it presented too many opportunities for people to get hurt.”
“That is the irony, isn’t it?I was against the romantic tomfoolery, and yet . . .” She lifted her eyes to meet his.
For a moment he forgot what he was about to do, who he was, and who he wasn’t. For that brief moment he was just a man looking into the eyes of an angel.
Then she finished, “And yet, it was I who fell in love with the minister . . . no, no—in love with
you
, William . . . or Zack . . . or whatever name you’d be happy hearing.”
“Oh, Ellie!” he groaned. “Don’t say such a thing. You don’t know my name or what I am or who I am.”
“I love you, whoever you are. Do you love me?” she entreated.
He returned her gaze, looking into her eyes for a long time before he spoke. How he wanted to tell her what he felt, that he’d never been happier than when he was with her, that he had never felt more real, more whole. He wanted to say that he loved her. But as much as he tried to tell himself otherwise, he knew she loved Reverend L ocklin. She didn’t know Zack. She couldn’t love him.
He gave her the only response he could. He grabbed his horse’s reins and swung into the saddle and rode away, ducking as he cleared the barn door. He did not look back, but he couldn’t help seeing all the women watching him as he rode away. A few waved innocently. But soon Ellie and Maggie would tell them all what a cad he had been, and they would be relieved they hadn’t bestowed him with yet another quilt. He thought of that scorched quilt he still kept, now tucked away in a drawer in Georgie’s wardrobe. He wished he could go back for it, to keep as a reminder of the dangers of staying too long in one place.
He got about a quarter of a mile down the road when he saw a rider approach and groaned when he recognized the horse as belonging to Calvin. I t seemed making a clean escape had been doomed from the beginning. If he were a religious man, he’d probably believe God was conspiring against him.
“Hello, William,” Calvin said, reining in his mount.
There was a tightness around his lips and a tenseness in his tone that was not natural to him. He couldn’t possibly know what had just happened.
“Hello, Calvin,” Zack replied coolly, still determined to make a quiet getaway.
“I’ve just come from St. Helens. Several members of the board of deacons got together last night and decided to make a loan to the Copelands to help rebuild their house.”
Zack listened, again, his patience growing thin.
Calvin continued. “The Copelands have done so much for the church and the community, we felt getting them a roof over their heads took precedence over building a new church.”