Back to Life (33 page)

The beginning chords of the song played and I belted out “Wild Horses
,” pouring all of my heartbreak into the lyrics.  Closing my eyes, I blocked out everything except singing to Ty and I hoped he felt the love in the lyrics. Before hitting the last line, I opened my eyes and locked on Ty. His hands were clasped together in front of his face, blocking my view of his mouth as his eyes burned into me.  His eyes were wide and even from the stage I could see that they were bright.  His face was flushed.  There was a moment of silence before the crowd erupted.

“Thank you,” I
murmured into the microphone before handing it to Taylor, who was beaming at me.

“Wow! Give it up for Sahara! Now I’m going to be honest with you, I didn’t know if she could sing or not
, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt because she looked the part. But damn! She was on fire! Let’s give her some more love!” Taylor took my elbow to help me down the first few stairs.

Although I was staring at Ty, he
didn’t look at me as I climbed down the stairs.  The crowd was still cheering and I wanted more than anything to go to Ty.  I wanted to beg him to talk to me and I wanted to hear him tell me that he still loved me.  I just wanted him to tell me he still feels what we’ve always felt for one another.  But Ty only met my eyes as I passed his table.   We held each other’s gaze, never making a move toward each other. I didn’t go to him because there wasn’t anything in his expression that ensured me I wouldn’t get rejected. And my heart couldn’t take the rejection from him…especially not publically.  So I didn’t physically reach out to him, but my eyes begged him to come to me.  He didn’t.

As I continued to
make my way to my dark corner, people stopped to compliment my performance.  I was stopped so many times that I missed the next artist.  When I got to my corner, I looked and didn’t see Ty at the table anymore.  I watched a few more open mic acts before deciding to head home.  I couldn’t be so close to Ty and so far away from him at the same time.
I gave it my best shot,
I thought glibly as pain exploded in every part of my body.  Climbing into the elevator, I was glad to make the trip to the first floor alone. I felt defeated.  The musical beats, cheering crowds, and energy faded away as I descended to the more upscale and classier restaurant portion of Jimmy’s.

The elevator door slid open and Ty was standing there, waiting. 

Chapter 32
 

“Hey,” I mumble
d softly.  Afraid of crying, I looked away from him and toward the front door.  It was too painful to look into those beautiful brown eyes.  My heart thundered in my chest and my breath quickened. I took a tentative step out of the elevator and then froze. The pull I felt to Ty was undeniable.

“Hi,” Ty res
ponded. I could feel his heated stare drawing my eyes back to him. After a beat, he asked, “Do you mind speaking with me in my office?”  His tone was formal.

“Sure,” I agreed,
following him to his office door.  Once the door closed and locked behind us, he followed me to the couch.  He gestured for me to have a seat, before he sat down beside me.  We sat silently, looking straight ahead. I stole glances at him and struggled to think of the best way to start.

“
You sounded really good up there,” Ty said quietly, rubbing his hands together in front of him.

“Than
k you. I hope you didn’t mind me choosing that song,” I replied. I felt nervous about my ability to hold on to my emotions when around him.  It had been entirely too long since I was in his presence and I wasn’t ready to give it up again. 

“It was a good choice,” he
whispered, his voice cracking slightly.  My heart breaks a little more at the sound and my throat constricts completely.  The silence in the room started swallowing me and I felt like I was going to drown.

Clearing his throat, Ty started,
“Listen, I needed some space…”

He needs his space…and
I got on stage and professed my love for him. And I’m sitting here gathering the courage to pour my heart out to him again,
I thought with a mixture of embarrassment and hurt.  I apologized, “I’m so sorry.” I hopped to my feet and made my way to the door.

I had my hand on the doorknob when
Ty grabbed my arm and spun me around.  He roughly pushed me up against the door and kissed me.  When his lips touched mine, I moaned into his mouth.  The force in which he kissed me made my entire body weak. When we finally broke away, we were both out of breath and panting. We stood in the hallway of his office and gawked at one another.

My eyes filled with tears
as I saw the love in his eyes and I bit the tip of my tongue in an effort to hold back the onslaught of emotions.  I watched his tongue slide over his lips and then my eyes moved back to his.  Another tear fell. 
I can’t take this anymore.  I have to know if there’s still a chance for us,
I thought as I struggled to remember the exact words Emily and I had prepared for me to say to Ty.

Una
ble to string together the preplanned monologue I’d rehearsed, I just spouted out my truth. “I’m hurting without you.  And I know I already said it in the letter, but I’m begging you, please forgive me.  I never meant to hurt you.  I can’t take not knowing what will happen with us.  It is killing me. Please just put me out of my misery—”

“I love you
,” Ty whispered, chasing the words out of my mouth.

“W
hat?” I questioned, hopeful that I heard him correctly and scared that I had misheard.

“I love you baby girl,” Ty repeated slightly louder.

I let out a whimper as a solitary tear escaped. “I love you too. I love you so much, Ty.”

He wiped my tear away and cupped my face in his hand.
“What I was trying to say is that I needed space to think.  I can’t think objectively around you.  You consume me—my thoughts, my senses, my body.  I was going to call you tomorrow before coming into work. I just needed a few days to think about what you said—in person and in the letter.” He paused and I saw the slight shift in his eyes. “I was pissed Sahara. When I boarded my flight on Tuesday, I was done with you. I wasn’t just hurt; I felt betrayed. The idea of you with someone else cut me deep,” Ty admitted fiercely.

More tears fell
as I listened to his words. Ty wiped my tears away and continued, “But after I cooled off and read your letter… it put some things into perspective.”

He took a deep breath before admitting, “The idea of another man’s hands on you drives me crazy.  And
that hurt that I felt… I know you felt the same hurt when I walked into that court room. It’s not the exact same, but we both hurt each other last weekend and we both kept things from each other that we shouldn’t have. I don’t know how we move forward from that… but I’m willing to try because I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”

“
Me too,” I agreed in a whisper. “I love you.  I need you in my life.  You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And again, I’m sorry. I am so sorry I caused you to doubt me. And I’m sorry about Emanuel…” My voice faltered as I said his name.

“He was your first love, but I plan to be your last,” Ty vowed as
he tilted my head back and took my mouth with his.  My breath hitched at the profoundness of his statement and the passion in his kiss.  My heart sped up and the pull deep inside me ignited the desire I felt for Tyree Barker.  When we pulled apart, I felt warm and heady.
Wow,
I thought as all other words escaped me.

“
That was the most perfect thing anyone has ever said. Ever,” I murmured. “You are everything to me.”  He kissed me in response and the energy crackled between us.

“Are
you able to leave now so we can make up officially?”

“No, I have some things I need to take care
of here before I leave. I have a manager’s meeting with the staff, but I can definitely leave right after that.  The absolute longest it’ll take is an hour. And then we can officially make up,” he laughed sexily.  Ty kissed the tip of my nose and stepped back to rake his eyes up and down my body. “You should go, though.  I won’t be able to concentrate on the work I need to do with you here looking like this.”

“
So you’re kicking me out?” I giggled, pulling him into me and feeling my effect on him.

Laughing,
Ty teased, “Yes. I want you out of here. Because the only thing that’ll get done around here is you.”

He kissed me gently and then putting his lips to my ear,
he breathed, “I will be home an hour after the meeting starts. And we will talk and then I will taste you and then I will be inside you. Is that okay with you?”  His hands were on my hips and his fingers flexed, gripping me.

I squeezed my thighs together and my eyes fluttered closed. “
Yes, please,” I moaned pulling his mouth to mine. We spent the next ten minutes exploring each other’s mouths and bodies in his office while we waited for my taxi. 

Only having five minutes before he was to start his meeting, we left his o
ffice hand in hand.  His contented smile made the heat rise all over my skin. I was grinning so hard that my cheeks hurt. We walked out of the building and not even the summer breeze could cool me down. Looking at his handsome profile, a chill coursed through me.  Ty put his arm around me and pulled me into his nook as he walked me to the waiting taxi.

“I want to be the one to take this off of you,” Ty whispered as his fingers toyed with the metallic fabric. I giggled in response and nodded in agreement.

Opening the door, Ty leaned into the taxi and cautioned, “You are traveling with precious cargo. Get her to Libby Lofts safely.” After putting money in the driver’s hand, Ty turned to me and wrapped his arms around my waist.  He kissed me with such passion and love, it left me breathless.

“I’
m sorry I’m not driving you.  If I didn’t have to meet with my employees to settle a dispute tonight, I would be the one to drive you home. And if you weren’t so irresistible, I’d have you stay,” Ty apologized as he kissed my cheeks, my nose and my forehead before landing solidly on my lips.

“
Thank you,” I murmured, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him in close.

“You don’t need to thank me. I
wish I could take you myself.” He nuzzled his nose against my face, his stubble roughly tickling my skin. 

“
Of course I need to thank you baby. And not just for the taxi ride, but for everything. Thank you for not giving up on us. Thank you for understanding me. Thank you for being you. Before you, I just existed. I didn’t really live, I didn’t really feel. I was going through the motions.  And then I met you…” I stroked his face and gazed up at him. “And you brought me back to life,” I declared softly against his lips.

He kissed me and replied, “
And you, baby girl, are my reason to live a little.”

My heart
fluttered.  Smiling up at him, I whispered, “Hurry home.” 

“I
will,” Ty promised, running his hands up and down my back.

“Have a good meeting my love,” I sang lovingly as I
ran my hand down the strong muscles of his arms.  “I love you.”

“I love you too baby girl. I’ll be home soon,” Ty insisted. Giving me one more kiss before helping me into the taxi, Ty closed my door.  He looked at his watch and then looked deep into my eyes. “One hour,” he promised.

“One hour,” I repeated.

“Oh crap!” I said aloud as I sent an ‘OK’
text in response to Ty’s text saying that the meeting went over but he was finally done and would be home soon. 
That text was from almost thirty minutes ago so he should’ve been here…which means I have negative two minutes to finish this,
I thought hurrying to finish cutting up fruit to make a colorful fruit tray.  Ty was taking a little longer than anticipated to get home which worked out fine because I ambitiously thought I could create a homemade fruit bouquet in the little time I had.  Humming to the music that played through my speakers, I set the timer for fifteen minutes and put the fruit in the freezer. 

Per Ty’s request, I kept
my outfit on because it looked good and I liked the way Ty’s eyes appreciated my body in it.  Hearing the knocking at the door fifteen minutes later, I pulled the fruit on sticks out of the freezer and took off my apron. I placed it on the hook and slipped back into my 6 inch heels.  Another series of knocks caused my stomach to jump in anticipation of seeing him. 
I just saw him two hours ago, yet I am excited like a kid on Christmas morning. Love,
I sighed happily as I twisted the doorknob.

“Wh
at are you doing here?” I blurted out in shock. Not wanting to be rude, but not wanting to encourage him, I clicked my deadbolt out and stepped into the hallway. Leaning against the wall across the hall, Emanuel’s tall and incredibly sexy body took me by surprise.

“You look
…” Emanuel’s eyes were wide as he took me in from head to toe.  “You are flawless.”  My body heated under his lingering gaze.

I could say the same thing about him,
I thought eyeing him in dark jeans, a hunter green and white shirt that stretched over his muscles and an acoustic guitar strapped to him.  I quickly dismissed the thought.  Feeling the familiar tremble in my gut, I blushed and looked away from him.

“Emanuel, we can’t do this.  We both have someone. And
my someone is on his way here now and I don’t want him to think I lied to him about you and me,” I anxiously explained.  My heart raced in alarm with each second that rolled by.

“I know and I don’t
want to make your life difficult.  I just had to tell you something and I couldn’t do it over the phone.  So here I am now, doing what I should’ve done a long time ago.”  Taking a deep breath, he continued, “Right now, you’re his and I’ll respect that.  It was wrong for me to not end it with Ashlyn before asking you to choose me.  I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me sooner, but it wasn’t until I was put in the situation on Tuesday that I really saw it for what it was.  How could I ask you to do something I wasn’t doing myself? So I broke things off with Ashlyn that night.  If I didn’t have to work, I would’ve been here sooner. So now I’m standing in front of you as a single man telling you that I’m in love with you and that I have been in love with you for most of our lives.  And if you’ll have me, I’ll love you for the rest.”

I couldn’t help but be moved by his
declaration of love. My hand came to my chest in a feeble attempt to slow my heart down. “Emanuel…” I whispered with astonishment in my voice.
How can words so sweet from the man I’d loved since I could remember come at the worst possible time?
I groaned inwardly as my heart continued to swell. My next thought worried me:
does Emanuel being single change anything?

Before I could
stress over the question I posed to myself, he started strumming his guitar and the melody evolved into “I Won’t Give Up.” I wanted to tell him to stop, to leave, but the way his voice rasped the lyrics did something to me.  It broke my heart and then put it back together again.  Momentarily I forgot that Ty could literally show up any minute.  The lyrics of the song and the emotion that poured from Emanuel’s voice ripped into me.  My heart and my mind were racing and I stopped breathing somewhere midway through the ballad.  I was undeniably captivated through the entire song. He stared at me and held my heart in his hand throughout his beautifully emotional rendition. It was one of the most romantic gestures I’d ever experienced. I drew in sharp breaths at the intensity in his voice, in his eyes.
He flew out here to sing this song to me.  He flew out here to tell me he wants to be with me.  He flew out here to tell me he loved me. And I love him too,
I acknowledged as my emotions were all over the place and my eyes watered.
But Ty is my present.