Back To Me (13 page)

14

Billy

              I heard glass shatter, scaring the shit out of me. I turned quickly, pulling my gun from the waistband of my shorts. Just before bringing it in front of me and aiming at my target, I saw that it was Heather, on her knees and staring at me blindly.
Shit! I could’ve shot her!

              She didn’t notice the gun and I used that to my advantage, hiding it behind my back quickly. I laid it gently on the countertop and pressed the safety. I stood, waiting for her to make a move. When she cowered; when she literally scooted away from me with a frightened look on her face, my heart sunk. How could she think I’d ever hurt her?

              I yelled at her and made her feel like an errant child.
Well good!
As bad as I hated it, it was for her own safety. She should be scared of me, but not for the reasons she thinks. I recalled what Blake had said and I almost blew my top with laughter.
Tell her I love her? Yeah right! So she can run away from me even faster?

              When she ran from the room, I almost went after her.
Almost
. But something stopped me; a nagging voice, telling me I needed to let her go. Once and for all. I had apologized for the past and it was time for both of us to stop living in it. What was done was done. Can’t change it and it certainly doesn’t change the circumstances now. My priority was keeping her safe, from Raul
and
myself, and that started now.

              I swept the glass into a pile, all the while talking to myself like a crazy person. I guess I was stupid for thinking that this would ever work out. I had tried so hard, and up until recently had been successful with keeping everyone away. No one knew about my demons and I liked it that way, but suddenly Heather was about to expose me.
Confront me,
and I couldn’t handle that. I couldn’t take how she looked at me like I was a lost puppy one second, and a snake the next. I couldn’t internalize her sweet smile and her bitter words that felt like a thousand lashes to my soul. The best thing to do was to keep my distance and I vowed then and there to do just that.

              Once the broken glass was cleaned up, I threw a towel on the floor and placing my foot on top, I swiped it around until I was satisfied it was dry. I then returned to sulking and drinking…. what I do best.

              After a while, I capped the bottle and put it back in the cabinet, just far enough back that she wouldn’t see it, but I could still get to it in an emergency. I had a feeling there were going to be a lot of those over the coming days and weeks.

              I sauntered back to my bedroom, laying my gun on the nightstand beside me. I checked the safety one last time before turning off the bedside lamp and pulling the covers completely over my head. I just wanted this night to be over. I wanted
all
of this to be over.

              I didn’t dream anymore that night, or if I did I don’t recall. When I woke early, I showered and shaved, throwing on my running shorts and another tee. I felt rejuvenated and……
content?
No, that couldn’t be right. I was calm and it unnerved me. This wasn’t how I should feel. Something was off, big time.

              Flinging open the bedroom door, I called out for Heather, but there was no answer.

              “Heather? Where are you?” I shouted, moving through the hallway. Still….
nothing
.

              I bolted to the back porch, and then to the barn and pasture. “Angel? Can you hear me?” Nothing.

              Panic settled deep as I bent over, grabbing my knees for support.
He’d gotten to her
. Raul had found Heather and taken her sometime during the night, and I didn’t hear anything. I was too wound up in myself, in friggin’ la-la land to save her. I paced, running my hands frantically back and forth through my hair as I thought about my next move. It couldn’t go down like this.

              I ran back inside, dashing to her room, only to see the bed freshly made and her belongings stacked neatly on the floor.
She was gone!
I slid down the wall, landing with a thump on my backside. I leaned my head against the wall and labored to catch my breath. My angel was gone and it was all my fault.

              One tear escaped my eye and then another, and another. Before I knew what was happening, I was blubbering like a baby. I had to call Blake. I needed help, and he was the only one who could tell me where Raul might have taken her. This was all just a cat and mouse game to him.
He really wanted me
. He expected me to come and look for her, and I knew as long as he felt that way, he wouldn’t hurt her. At least not right now. He wanted me dead, and quite honestly, I did, too. I hoped he’d be willing to trade my life for hers, but I had to find them first.

              I quickly made my way back to my room, grabbing my phone from the charger. I dialed Blake, not caring who was with him. If he didn’t answer, I’d just keep calling until he did.

              “Yeah?” Blake’s voice was thick with sleep, but I didn’t much care. I needed him.

              “Where’s Raul?”

              “Why?” he questioned.

              “Because Heather’s gone, asshole, and I’m pretty sure you’re smart enough to piece that together. Now where is he?”

              “What do you mean, ‘Heather’s gone?’ What did you do?”

              “I didn’t
do
anything, Blake, but I swear if you don’t start talking….”

              “Get your panties out of a twist. Raul’s here. Been at the warehouse all night. Tom’s got eyes on him. He hasn’t left.”

              “Wait. What?” I questioned. Raul was lazy and normally had his men do the grunt work, but not for this. He would’ve wanted me to know he was here, in my house,
himself.

              “You heard me. He hasn’t left.” Blake sighed, and then I heard some garbled mumbo-jumbo on the other end of the line.

              “You there?” I asked.

              “Yeah, sorry. Look, I don’t know what to tell you, man. I’d have called and warned you if I thought there was any way he was on to you. And speaking of which, you’re gonna get my ass killed if you keep calling this number,” he reminded me.

              “I’m sorry, man. Didn’t even think.” I lied. “My mind was on finding Heather.” She’d been here less than twenty-four hours, and she was already screwing with my mind.
Dammit!
This had to stop and now!

              “I know where your mind is, Billy, and I told you how to handle it. Time’s short, man. Just tell her how you feel. Look, I gotta go. I’ll check in with you later. Good luck.”

              The line went dead. I tossed my phone on the bed and paced some more. Where the hell could she have gone? My truck was still parked outside so she had to have left on foot. I was headed down the hall when I heard the front door open and shut. I went running, sliding on the braided rug and wiping out in the process. Heather stood stock-still, trying to contain her amusement.

              “Where the hell have you been?” I demanded while pushing myself to a standing position.

              “Sorry to worry you. I-I left a note in the kitchen. Thought you’d see it.” Her amusement quickly turned to fear once again, thanks to yours truly.

              I turned and stalked to the kitchen where, sure enough, a pink post-it note was sitting in front of the coffee pot. Scribbled in her hand writing it said:

              Well, she wasn’t lying. There in plain view was a note explaining where she’d run off to. I was about to feel like a complete and total ass for making her feel bad yet again, but then something jumped off the page and out at me.
A job?
She left to find a freaking job!?
             

              “You’re kidding, right?” I chuckled. “This is a joke?”

              “No. No joke.” Heather stood in the doorway with her hands folded together.

              “You’re not getting a job, Heather.” There. Problem solved. I just told her how it was gonna be.

              “Excuse me,” she responded, placing her hands on her hips and giving me the dumbest look possible. “You’re not my father, and the last time I checked, I don’t take orders from you.”

              “Well, that’s all about to change, sweetheart. My house. My rules.”

              Heather laughed hysterically, and I wanted to go crawl in a hole.
My house. My rules. Really? Did I just say that?

              “You know what I mean,” I defended. “It isn’t safe. And how did you know where to go anyways?”

              “Well, I figured all roads lead to somewhere so I just started walking.” Heather shrugged her shoulders in defiance.

              “And?”

              “And what?”

              “Did you find a job?”

              “As a matter of fact,
no
, but I’m gonna go back later. Not a lot of places were open this early.” She proceeded to step around me and make a pot of coffee.

              “Well, find something else to do because you working is out of the question. No way! No how!”
There!
I’d put my foot down and that was the end of it, right?
Wrong!

              “Didn’t you just hear me?” she asked, frustrated. “I said I was getting a job, whether you have a problem with it, or not.
Get over yourself!
I told you I’d be careful, and I was. Raul doesn’t know where we are, unless there’s something you’re not telling me. I’m a hell of a lot safer walking the streets of your little town than I ever was walking into Tommy’s. So what’s your problem?”

              “
My problem is you!
” I screamed back in retaliation. “You’re screwing with my head and you just won’t listen!”

              “Because what you’re saying doesn’t make sense! You want me out of your hair, correct? You want me to stay away from you? Having a job will accomplish that, plus I can put away a little money in the meantime for when I leave here.”

              She had valid points and none that I should’ve argued with, but I did anyway.

              “For one,” I counted off on my fingers, “it’s dangerous for you to be out
anywhere.
Raul has people all over, not just in California. Two, you don’t have to pull your weight around here, I already told you that; but if it makes you feel better, the place needs cleaning and I could use some help with a few minor remodeling projects. I’d be willing to pay you and you can put that aside for later. It’d be like killing two birds with one stone.”

              I gestured my hands wildly about as if it all made perfect sense.

              “You’re forgetting the part where you want me away from you and out of your hair,” she reminded me, sarcastically.

              I sighed and took another few deep breaths. How was I going to talk my way out of this one?
Honesty.
Honesty was definitely the way to go.

              “Heather, I don’t want you out of my hair. In fact, it’s kinda nice having someone here. But I can’t get caught off guard. I can’t blur any lines and leave room for mistakes. Raul has ways;
nasty
ways of getting what he wants. I can’t let you, or anyone else distract me from what needs to be done, should the time arise. And believe me, it will. He doesn’t give up easily.”

             
There.
Just enough information that she wouldn’t be too scared, but it got my point across. I was rather pleased. Just as I was mentally giving myself a pat on the back, Heather turned away and let out a sob.

              “He’s really coming for me, isn’t he? Why me? What do I have?” she slumped in the kitchen chair, and her frail body shook with overwhelming sadness and fear.

              “Me,” I replied. My answer was simple and truthful on so many levels. Ones she couldn’t begin to comprehend after the awful way I’d treated her.