I WAITED IN THE VISITATION
room, staring at the door. Not the door that the prisoners would come out of, but the other one. Julia had to come. It was just minutes before Johnny would be out. He had no idea who I was of course, but I would recognize him from the picture on her mantel. Hopefully. If she didn’t show up, I didn’t know what I was going to do.
People chattered around me, nervously waiting for their loved ones to appear. I was anxious about my phone being in a locker outside this room. What if Julia tried to call me? Despite the fact that her phone number still said it was shut off, I still called it at least twenty times a day. All of her friends were banking on me finding her and bringing her home.
The door buzzed and I stood, my heart in my throat. When the next wave of visitors came through and still no Julia, I felt dread settle in my stomach. It had been five days. Something was very wrong.
I turned my attention back to the other door as more prisoners were led into the room. I scanned each one, looking for Johnny. When all of the prisoners went off to their family and my eyes zeroed in on the man standing there looking around, I knew I’d found him. He looked similar to the picture she had, but definitely rougher. He was probably a good looking guy outside of here.
I waved my hand. “Johnny?” He turned to me and furrowed his brow, signaling to the guard and walking my way.
“Who are you? Where’s my sister?”
“I’m Carter McIntyre,” I said, holding out my hand. He gripped it tightly, looking me up and down.
“Carter. You’re the one.”
“Excuse me?”
“She told me about you. You work together, right?”
“Yes.”
“Where’s my sister?”
“Can we sit? I need your help.” We sat across from each other. “I don’t know where she is.”
Alarm passed over his face. “What do you mean?”
I explained what had happened earlier this week and that she hadn’t been seen since. The more I talked, the more agitated he became, wringing his hands and looking around the room.
“My parents
fired
her?”
“Yes. Somehow they found out she was visiting you. She and I were scheduled to come here together. She wanted me to meet you. I figured she wouldn’t miss coming here, no matter where she is. I’m scared, Johnny. I think something’s happened to her. She was supposed to meet my parents this week, and she’s just been gone. At first, I was leaving voicemails on her phone, but since then her number has been disconnected.”
“You have a missing person’s report out? Have they checked her credit card statements, put an APB out on her car?”
“Yes, yes, and yes. She took a few thousand dollars out of her account the day she disappeared and hasn’t used any cards. There’s been no sign of her car or her anywhere, not even any of the hospitals within a few hundred miles of Denver. Can you think of anywhere she would go?”
“Have you talked to Tracey?”
“Yes. She even found Nancy and went to her house. Nothing. We don’t know where else to look, Johnny.”
He pounded his fist on the table, alerting the attention of a few of the guards. He held up his hands, showing things were fine, and they backed off. “My fucking parents,” he growled. “It was enough that they cut me off, and I deserved it. But Julia? That girl is nothing but gold, man. Hell, I don’t have to tell you that. You’re in love with her.”
I opened and closed my mouth. This was the second time today someone had said that to me. “We need to find her, Johnny. I have a terrible feeling. Do you have any other family she would go to?”
He tapped his fingers on the table. “I know my mom has a sister in Texas, but we were never close. I think we saw each other a few times in my life. I’m not sure when or if Julia would’ve talked to her last. All I know is her name and that she lives in Texas.”
“Anyone else? Grandparents?”
He shook his head. “Both of our sets of grandparents died within the last ten years. If something happens to her, man, I’m going to have my parents’ heads. Selfish assholes.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“Julia told me that you know something that could get you out of here, but you won’t do it. I know you don’t owe me shit, man, but I’m just trying to understand. Why won’t you get out of here?”
He shook his head, leaning closer to me. “There’s a lot of shit I’ve never told her. I didn’t want her to live her life terrified of the boogieman, you know? When I moved to Los Angeles to try to have a music career, I got myself involved with some guys I thought were my friends. Turned out, they were lying to me. They were taking us all over for ‘gigs’ and telling us we had record labels coming to see us. When I found out what they were
really
doing, I left. I came back to Colorado. I wasn’t going to be a part of this crazy trafficking thing they had going on. But they found me. I knew too much. They blackmailed me into helping them, Carter. I had no choice.”
“Why?”
“They threatened Julia. They’d send me pictures of her, going to work, to the gym, out with her friends. Then they’d put notes on it, crude notes about what they would do to her if I didn’t cooperate with them. So I left without a word to her. I had to protect her. She’s the only one in my entire life who loved me for who I was. I was forced into the life. I never wanted that. When I got busted, one of the higher ups in the ring came to visit me in jail, even before my trial. I have no idea how he got to do that, but if I had to guess, he had someone on the inside. He reminded me what would happen if I snitched. He had Julia’s
house key
.”
“How do you know it was her house key?”
“They’d taken it right off her keychain. It was purple and had a sparkly J on it.”
“Johnny.” I felt like I was going to puke. I forced myself to breathe out. “Is it possible that one of them got her?”
His eyes widened. “They have no reason to. I haven’t said anything, and I won’t. I’ll be in here for a long time, but it’ll be worth it to know she’s safe. That she can have a life with you and be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. Get her away from our parents, Carter. Give her the life she deserves, and let her have the life she wants, not the life she was forced into.”
“I
have
to find her,” I said. “What am I going to do? Can you give me a contact of one of these guys?”
“No way. Absolutely not. You will not contact any of these people. If they have Julia, they’d never tell you, and all it would do is get you killed that I even told you their names. Then I’d probably end up dead, too. I swear they have eyes and ears everywhere, even in here.”
I rested my head on my hands. I hated the feeling of not knowing what to do.
“There’s still time. She could show up.”
I looked back at the door, feeling my sanity slipping. I’d come all this way, and the only thing I knew that I didn’t know before is that Johnny got messed up into some crazy shit.
“Will they let her in if she’s late?”
Johnny nodded. “There may be a line outside. It gets backed up on visitation day. I’d guess there will be another wave of people coming in soon. See around us? Some of the prisoners are still waiting.” I looked around, nodding in agreement at what he said. Good. There was still hope.
I turned back to him. “Are they always going to threaten her, even once you’re out of here?”
He sighed. “I don’t know. I just keep hoping that the big guy will get caught and his organization will crumble. Then all the people that know who I am will be gone, locked up or dead. I pray for that every day.”
“How much do your parents know?”
“About all of this? Nothing. They think I’m a drug dealer and I got what I deserved. The second I told them I wasn’t going to school to take over their business, they were done with me. I haven’t been their son for sixteen years. Julia doesn’t deserve this, though. If I could call them, I’d tell them so. Just because she comes to see me? I’m sorry, I know you work for them.”
I was starting to wonder what in the world I’d gotten myself into. If it wasn’t for Julia, I might just be running back to Florida. “Don’t worry. My focus right now is finding her. I can’t sleep or eat. I’m terrified. I just want to hold her and tell her it will all be okay, that she can be rid of them and do what
she
wants to do now.”
“So tell me,” a voice came from next to us. We both jumped. I looked at Johnny, and then back to Julia just to make sure what I was seeing was right. She was here. Her hair was in a bun and she wore a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. She was okay. Her face was pale and she looked like she’d been crying for hours, if not days. We’d been so intent on our conversation, I’d missed the new group of visitors that had been let in.
“Julia,” I cried, pulling her into my arms. “Oh, my God. Julia. I’m so sorry. I let them hurt you. I didn’t know what to do. I’ve been so scared, baby. So scared. Are you okay?” I pulled her back, scanning her again to make sure I didn’t miss any injuries. She buried herself into my chest and I held her tight, relief seeping through every pore. She was okay. She was in my arms. I murmured into her hair, feeling her chest shaking as she cried into my shirt.
I looked over at Johnny, who had tears in his eyes. “Jules,” he said, rubbing her back. “You had us
so
worried. Where’ve you been?”
She tilted her head back and looked at both of us. “You came,” she said to me.
“Of course. Meeting Johnny was important for you, and I wanted to come. Plus, I was praying to God that you would show up. We have a missing person’s report on you, baby. Where have you been? I’ve been calling you for days.”
“I’m sorry, Carter. I had to get away. I’ve been staying right outside of Oklahoma City, holing up in a hotel for a few days, trying to get my head straight. I’ve come to a couple of decisions.”
She broke away and hugged Johnny tightly before sitting down next to me. I wrapped her hand in mine, needing to touch her. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her face, tear streaked and all.
“I’m sorry for making you worry. Both of you. Thank you for coming here, Carter. And for trying to find me. I appreciate it.”
I didn’t like the way she was talking. I put my other arm over her shoulder and pulled her closer to me, kissing her temple.
“Julia, I’m sorry for what happened with Mom and Dad. It’s all my fault.” Johnny wiped a tear from his eye. “How did they find out?”
“I have no idea,” she said. “Don’t be sorry. They’re the ones with the problem. If they can’t handle that I want to be part of your life, my only brother, their only son, then it’s
their
loss. I refuse to allow them to do that to me anymore.” She looked over at me and squeezed my hand. “It took me a while, but I finally had some help seeing that sometimes what’s hard is what needs to be done. You’re my brother, Johnny. I’ve allowed them to direct my life for too many years. Yes, I’m good at my job, but I’m not passionate about it. I need to do something because I
love
it, not because someone else says I should.”
My heart swelled. All along, Julia had acted like she was way stronger than me, but really she’d been hiding behind a facade of self-assuredness. It wasn’t until we both broke down our walls that we realized we both had some insecurities to get past.
Julia turned back to me. “Carter, I want to thank you. For everything. Meeting you has singlehandedly changed my life. I now feel like I have the strength to do what I need to do to live my dreams. Even though we’ve only known each other a few months, you’ve taught me so much about who I am as a person. Thank you.”
“I can say the same to you,” I replied. “You’re the reason I’m able to admit that being with you makes me happier than anything else.
Anything
. Yes, I started this journey because I wanted the job with your father more than I wanted anything in the world. But you showed me a different side of myself that I was denying. You called me out when it was necessary, and supported me at other times. You’ve changed my life in the last few months.”
Julia nodded. “That’s why I have to let you go, Carter.”
She couldn’t have surprised me more if she dropped a grenade in my lap. “What?”
“I can’t ask you to choose between my father and me. I could never be the reason that you gave up your dream. I think you now see that your life can be more than just your job, but I can’t go back there. I’m going to build my own life. I’m not sure where, or how, but I’m going to do it. I have enough money saved to survive for awhile while I figure it out.”
“Julia . . .” Johnny’s voice made her stop and look at him. “What are you doing?”
She reached over and kissed his cheek. “I love you, Johnny, but I won’t come back here to visit you. If you want to visit me, you get yourself out of here like I know you can. I can’t do this anymore. It kills me to sit here and watch you throw your life away because you won’t do the right thing.”
“Julia,” I said. “You’re not leaving me.”
She nodded. “I am. You’re just finding yourself, Carter. I have to find myself. I can’t hold you back. I won’t. If I do, you’ll end up resenting me someday.”
I looked back at Johnny, silently begging him for help. He stood. “Julia, don’t do this.”
She looked between the two of us. “I have to. I’m taking care of me. Johnny, I hope you make the right choice. I love you and this
isn’t
me abandoning you. Not at all. I need you to save yourself so I can have you as part of my life
outside
of here. Carter, I can’t wait to see what you do with your life. I bet you’ll take my parents’ company even farther than they have. I’m not going back to Colorado right now, Carter. You can tell everyone I’m fine.”
She stood, turning away from us before we could stop her. We watched as she walked to the door and spoke to the guard. He spoke to her quietly while we both looked on, unable to move. He nodded at her and buzzed the door, letting her out. She never turned around once.
“What the fuck just happened,” Johnny echoed both of our thoughts.
“I think she just broke my heart and gave you an ultimatum,” I said.
“The difference is, I can’t run out that door after her, and you can. Get your ass out there and stop her.
Now
.”