Backstage Pass: On Tour (The Backstage Pass Rock Star Romance) (7 page)

“Yes.” Her gaze bounded to Jesse’s. “If that’s okay with you two. I know you’ve had different sleeping arrangements—”

Jesse stood. “Totally fine. I’ll grab my stuff out of the car.”

As I t
ook our plates into the kitchen I had to bite my lips to keep from laughing. What a couple of teenagers, and Jesse looked as uncomfortable as I’d been. I quickly put everything away and hurried back through the living room and paused at the base of the stairs just as Jesse came back in with a single leather duffle.

“Good night, Mom,
Dad.”

We all bi
d our “Goodnights” and Jesse followed me up the stairs. I showed him the guest room, which was across the hall from mine. He set his duffle at the foot of the bed and turned to me with a smile. “Your parents are pretty good eggs.”

I held out my hand and led him across the hallway into my room and
shut the door. “They are.” I lay down on the bed with a sigh and patted the space next to me. “But I’m fine if we want to stop talking about them.”

He scanned my room, probably remembering both the good and the bad that had transpired here. A shiver licked his
spine and he settled beside me, drawing me close. “Lots of strange memories for such a small room.”

I stared into his face, suddenly serious. “I’m sorry.”

He brushed a strand of hair back from my face. “I never asked for perfect, Sasha. We’re going to probably make more mistakes from here. I’ve only ever wanted you to be all in this thing.”

I sighed, and my breath stirred the lopsided chunk of hair falling across his forehead. I leaned mine against his and closed my eyes.
“I am. I am so in.”

His hand curled slowly around my neck and sifted up through the base of my hair. Neither of us moved and we just sat there, breathing in each other. I coul
d have stayed like that forever, even though this wasn’t a safe space for us with all its memories. We needed something that was just ours, that was fresh and new.

“Have you decided if you’re keeping
the house, then?”

He kissed my nose and rolled onto his back, pulling me onto his chest. I rubbed my cheek across his body and snuggled as tight as I could get. “Do you want me to? I mean, I’m fine with whatever you want to do, Sasha.”

“When does your tour start?”

“In a month.”

“Are you going to be ready?”

He groaned. “Things are still tense with Scout. If he
weren’t being such a douche, we’d be way further along with everything we were supposed to get done. Ainsley wants to add a bunch of PR stuff to the front of the tour so we can promote the new CD.”

I drew circles across his stomach with my fingers. “You sound hesitant about that.”

He shrugged. “Just feeling uncertain about how cohesive we are as a band. That’s easy to disguise on stage. Up there, we can let the music speak for us, and—for right now, at least—that’s the one place where we can all be on the same page.”

“What do you think is going to happen?”

He rubbed my arm. “Scout won’t stick it out. He’s too pissed at me already.”

I lifted up on my elbow and looked at him. “Because of me?”

His gaze roamed my face and he moved his hand to the middle of my back. “Not entirely.”

I frowned. “But a little bit.”

“A big bit.”

I sighed and laid my head back down. “Well that’s shitty.”

He squeezed me. “And not your fault. He’s always been unstable, we’ve just never been on the world’s stage before. That’s adding pressure that none of us understood—that no one can understand until you’re living it.” He kissed the top of my head. “Besides, we’re still a bunch of  young, punk kids.”

I laughed. “True.”

“But I don’t want to talk about Scout. That will work itself out, and it is what it is.”

“So . . .” I pressed my lips against his throat. “What
do
you want to talk about?”

“Us. How I’m going to get through being without you.”

“I don’t even want you to leave tomorrow. What am I going to do when you go on tour?”

“Have you given any more though
to coming with me?”

“I don’t
think that’s a good idea if Scout’s already an issue.”

He sigh
ed. “Yeah, that’s throwing gasoline on a fire. And I’m not sure Ainsely will swing for a bus just for you. I could have probably made a case for you when you were pregnant.”

“I’m worried that I’d just be a pain and a distraction.”

“Not a pain.” He kissed my head. “Never a pain.”

“Always a distraction?”
I smiled up at him.

“Definitely. But a good kind.”

I distracted him with a very thorough kiss but didn’t let it go much further. We still had planning to do and I knew it would be all too easy to fall into the ease of our bodies so we wouldn’t have to make the hard choices.

“Okay, so no to me going on tour with you. Now what?”

“I could try to fly home between stops.”

I shook my head. “That will exhaust you and you’ll already be running on empty based on how crazed your last tour was.”

“There has to be a solution that doesn’t include us not seeing each other for the whole tour, right?”

“
Doesn’t seem like it.”

I groaned and rolled back on the mattress, throwing m
y thigh open over his. “I don’t want to go that long without you.”

“Next one I’ll make Ainsley build in more time between stops, and I’m arguing for a bus for you. We just have to get through this one. Okay?”

“I guess if you’re keeping the house, I can putter around in the yard.”

“That a girl.”

So we left our decisions at an impasse and he managed to further distract me for the next several hours. At one point, we heard Mom and Dad come up the stairs and I made Jesse turn up the radio and sing louder when they closed their own bedroom door down the hallway. Talk about a mood killer.

Weeks bled into months and Drake finally approved me to a sustainable maintenance program and my doctors gave me a clean bill of health. I was free to take up anything I wanted, but they suggested I eased into anything new and tried my best to be smart.

Since that
had never been my strong suit, I couldn’t believe they were actually prescribing it. But I was willing to play along and give them whatever answer they wanted if it meant I had more freedom.

Even though
I wasn’t real sure where I want to go with that freedom. Classes were almost over and Kerri and Axel have come up a few times, but they were so engrossed in each other I was surprised we hadn’t heard an announcement—baby, marriage or otherwise. I still couldn’t figure out which one of them was more in love, but it was adorable. And a fine distraction when I wanted to just veg out and listen to Kerri go on and on about how fantastic Axel was. I really was happy for them.

But every now and then, it
made me long for the normalcy of shopping for plates and napkins that matched the bedspread.

I got
up to nine miles a day and my times aren’t anywhere near my personal best, but they weren’t horrid, and they were getting better, which I’d learned was what was important and the only thing I should use as a measuring stick. Was today better than yesterday?

Nothing else should matter.

Jesse and I talked nearly every night. Scout was still being a douche, but they were so busy with the tour and PR stops that they didn’t have time for his drama, which was good, though it concerned me that it was still a lingering issue.

Jesse
was right and it was going to continue to be one for a while if they didn’t address it. And that made me nervous. I didn’t want Scout to be an issue. I thought he liked me.

I finish
ed the day’s run and collapsed on Mom’s porch, arms outstretched, thighs burning. I should stretch, but in a minute. My phone chirped and I rolled my head to look at the readout.

“Hey babe.”

“Sash? Sorry, I can barely hear you.”

“Yeah,” I yell
ed. “Where are you?”

“Backstage. It’s insane. We’re about to go on.”

“What are you doing calling me?” My heart sped up.
Please don’t let there be anything wrong.

“Can you meet me at the house? I’m flying out of here right after tonight’s show, wanted to see if you could drive down and meet me. I can send a car.”

“No, that’s silly. I can drive.”

“Are you sure?” His
voice was softer even though he still had to yell so I could hear him.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I’ve been driving again for a couple weeks.”

“God, baby. I just worry about you.”

“I know you do, and you shouldn’t. Seriously, I’m fine. Promise.”

“So do you think—hang on—” He covered the receiver but I could still hear a muffled shout that he’d be right there as he yelled at someone. “I gotta go, babe, but do you think you can meet me? My plane will get in around two am and I’ll head straight to the house. I have no idea what it looks like, or if they’ve even got it livable.”

I
did some quick math. If I left within the hour I could be there in less than four hours, which gave me plenty of time to recon the situation before he got there. “Yeah. I’ll go check it out, let you know what it looks like. Be careful and knock em’ dead.”

I hear
d the grin in his voice. “I’m going to now! Love you and see you in a few hours.”

I leap
t up and raced through the house, grabbing essentials that I’d need for a quick trip home—er, back, uh,
there
. Gosh, where was my home? Good thing I had a huge drive in front of me to figure it out.

I
threw everything in the car, grabbed a giant bag of munchies and swung by Mom’s office on the way out. “Are you sure, Sasha? This seems so sudden.”

“Yeah, but we both know I’ve been pretty much waiting for something to do. I need action and forward movement.”

She pursed her lips. “I’m not going to tell you to be careful because I know you’re too smart to get yourself into a situation that you can’t find your way out of.”

I chuckle
d. “Okay, yeah, you should definitely not give me that advice.”

“Smart ass.” She pulled
me to her in a tight squeeze. “Are you going to say bye to Jack?”

“Next stop.”

“When will we see you again?”

I shrug
ged. “I have no idea how long this stopover is for Jesse. For all I know, he might be headed right back out. I’ll keep you posted. He couldn’t tell me much.”

“Just don’t let that become a habit.”

“Mommmm,” I groaned.

“Well—s
orry. I can’t just stop mothering you.”

I kissed her cheek. “Thank goodness
for that.”

She settled her palms against my cheeks. “I loved having you here. Even though we had some goods and bads, the goods were perfect.”

“Agreed.”

We hugged and I slid into the car, then shot over to
Dad’s, where I got pretty much the same lecture. He stopped just short of telling me that he hoped I was in it for the long haul, and I didn’t push my luck.

Then I was on the road and headed into who knew what. Jesse and I hadn’t talked at all about
the progress on the house or what we were going to do when it was finished or if I was going to keep living at Mom’s. We had so little time together that it had always seemed foolish to waste it on anything other than the present.

Part of me didn’t want that to change.
We’d already spent so much time consumed by the past and the future that I wanted to be able to keep the present so worry free. But I also didn’t want to have to have him on tour as the only way to make it happen.

The miles slipped by. I called Kerri and Jesse dialed me from the airport as he was boarding just as I pulled into the driveway.

“I haven’t been here since the accident.” An icy shiver gripped my spine.

“Yeah, freaked me out the first couple times.”

I glanced to the left and could still see skid marks for a hundred feet down the road, then a space where the car must have flipped, then the tracks where they resumed. I quickly sped up the driveway.

“We’re about to take off
so I should be there in about six hours.”

“Okay. Be safe.”

I hung up and it was a good thing, because I was totally taken aback by the difference of what used to be an overgrown driveway. They hadn’t altered the structure, just trimmed everything back and the constant use had packed it town and turned it into a regular road.

As the road wound around to the left, my jaw dropped. Like, for serious. My phone slid from my fingers and
clattered to the floor. I pulled to the side of the large circle drive and got out. It didn’t even look like the same place. They’d painted and torn down one section that had been a strange add-on and replaced it with a glass sunroom—I imagined using it as a greenhouse, I thought with a bubble of glee.