Authors: GP Joyner
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I sat in traffic staring ahead at nothing in particular. The road looked busy and everyone seemed to be going home to their families, home to their wife and kids, home to their husbands and loved ones. Not me, I must have been the exception that day, I was moving in a completely opposite direction from the mass. I was going to meet him that day and we were going to spend the whole night together. He was married with three kids and had probably lied that he would be on a business trip for the weekend. I knew his family, I knew them well. How could I not? I was the MC (master of ceremony) at their wedding and my daughter (who was two at that time) had been their flower girl. I have witnessed every birth, every birthday, every christening and every Christmas tree. They say that the enemy you know is better that the one you don’t but I beg to differ. Ignorance is bliss; whatever you do not know will not hurt you and such was our case. My husband and I had separated and I had been left to raise a daughter by myself. Being a single mother is not easy but he had made it easier on both of us. I at least had the advantage of not introducing a stranger into her life and having to explain who he was and where he had all of a sudden come from. To my little Shantell he was simply “Uncle Gavin”.
So it all boils down to one thing, how do I feel about this affair that I have been having with my step brother for the last 8 years? Who do I see when I look in the mirror? Am I an adulterer or fornicator? Is it really incest if you are not really related to the person by blood?
I look at my wrist watch for the millionth time that day and just as I was debating to text him and let him know I was coming late, my cell phone rang. My heart felt lighter and happier when I realized it was him and I let out a smile as I answered him.
“Hello”
“Hi”, I said “I was just about to call you, I am stuck in traffic but I should be about ten minutes late”.
“Usual place”, he replied and I could tell that he was equally excited to hear from me.
“Ok”
“I have already ordered dinner, I hope you are in the mood for shrimp?” he went on to say.
“That is ok”.
“Ok, I will see you in a bit”, he ended in a finality tone before he hung up the phone. I looked around me and could hear some of the cars start up their engines. It was a clear indication that we were about to move and I could feel the excitement in my crotch as I thought of Gavin. The rest of the drive was smooth as I headed to the usual rendezvous spot and parked at the usual spot too. I stepped out of the car with my handbag and my small duffel bag in hand, parked for the night. I looked up at the usual room and saw the lights on a clear indication that he was in and patiently waiting on me. My head however threw me back to when we first met how it all started and how we had gotten this far and still not knowing anything about the future. The picture was clear as day in my head and I smiled when I thought of the day one more time. It was one of those moments that you never want to recall and yet still has power over you in an incredible way.
Gavin and I were bonded through marriage; both our parents were end products of divorce who somehow found solace in each other. Gavin and I never really talked or tried to bond with each other but we were somehow casual friends. We would exchange the occasional casual greeting from time to time out of fine protocol but nothing ever went beyond that. Not until ten years later when I placed a call to him for help. My ex husband and I had gotten into a very nasty fight and as usual he had gotten physical. I had mastered the art of being a shock absorber but this day was different, this time he was aiming for the jugular, badgering at my Achilles and punching where he knew it hurt most. The only thing that came to my mind at that time was Shantell and what would happen to her if the father kills me. The image of my daughter’s face being motherless gave me renewed strength and out of pure rage I took off my heel from my crouching position and swung it at him.
“You bitch!” he shouted in rage as he walked over to me and aimed a strong punch that dived into the back of my neck. I had my phone in my pocket and Gavin was somehow the only person that my phone could dial even before 911. His voice came online and in my confused state I shouted out to him at the top of my voice.
“Help me!”
I lost all hope when my ex husband charged towards me with his fists clenched and took the phone from my hands. I listened to the loud thud of a sound that it gave once he swung it on the wall and it landed in small shattering pieces. The sound felt like a hymn to the grave, I bit my tongue and spit out blood. My inner being was shaken to the core and my hope was exhausted. I could hear him call out and utter many more words but I could not comprehend. I was instead apologizing profusely to my daughter for being a bad mother and for choosing my ex as a father for her. A car that drove up the driveway distracted me, he was not on top of me, his left hand was on my throat and his right hand was reaching for gold underneath my skirt. I started making predictions as to whether he would rape me first before killing me? Or vice versa. A knock on the door distracted both of us and he immediately placed a hand on my mouth to try and muffle my scream.
“Yvonne, Yvonne”, I could tell from the deep husky voice that called from the doorway that it was Gavin who was on the other side of the door. I tried to scream all I could but his hand on my mouth filtered it to muffled hums. He nevertheless heard the movements from within the room because he called out even louder from outside accompanied by louder bangs on the door. I felt hope renewed in me as Gavin thundered through the door. One look at the situation and he knew what was going on. His face was blinded by rage as he walked over to where we were. He effortlessly lifted him from me and threw him aside before landing a few more blows on his face. Gavin was a strong man and handling my ex was not a reach. I couldn’t really tell what was going on but before long, Gavin walked over to me and hugged me to his chest.
“Where is Shantell?” He asked concerned.
“At my sisters”, I managed to squeeze out. Pain coursed all through my body and my throat felt so dry. I felt comforted by Gavin’s presence alongside his voice when he called for an ambulance.
He then planted a kiss on my lips and I froze for a minute. It was hard to respond to it with the taste of blood in my mouth and I felt really confused.
“I have always loved you Yvonne”, he said.
Not only was his timing not right. He was my stepbrother, and who on this earth runs to another man’s arms seconds after taking a murderous beating from the father of her child? I didn’t respond to him but was rather glad when I slowly let myself slip into an unconscious state.
My phone vibrated in my hand and brought me back to reality and I smiled once I realized that it was Gavin calling.
“Why are you zoning out by yourself at the parking lot, come on up” He said.
I hadn’t noticed that I was alone in the parking lot thinking about life. I watched him wave from the hotel room and I slowly walked into the all too familiar building. I felt like my legs were letting me down as I rushed past a few people in the hallway and knocked slightly on the heavy wooden door. Gavin’s voice soothed my soul as I entered. He was always a sight for sore eyes, his dazzling smile said it all and I fell in love with him again.
I felt safe in his warm embrace and drunk in the sweet honey lemon feeling that was his scent. His familiar embrace made me melt and I just realized how much I had missed him.
“Hello my love”, he said as he planted a light kiss on my lips.
“Hello”
He pulled me closer to him and combed his hands through my hair; I stared into his eyes and let my head fall squarely on his built shoulders.
“Are you hungry?”, he asked.
“Not really”.
I walked over to the only seat that was in the room and sat with my legs crossed; I looked at him from across the room and let my thoughts go wild.
“I’m going to take a shower”, he said and winked at me before he started unbuttoning his shirt.
“I’ll join you, I have to make a call to the babysitter”, I said and winked back.
I wasn’t placing a call to anyone; I only wanted to perform my usual ritual whenever I was with him and whenever I was on the verge of sleeping with him. I tried to search my heart and find any guilt but I couldn’t. I couldn’t get myself to feel guilty about sleeping with my stepbrother or having a prolonged affair with him. I thought of his wife Margo. I thought of his beautiful kids, Chelsea and Robert and then I thought of Shantell. I got to my feet and striped down to nothing before walking over to the bathroom door and letting myself in without knocking on the door. He had his back turned to me as I walked in and wore his ever handsome smiled as he turned and looked at my direction. I looked at his magnificent body and thought of the endless times I have wished to wake up beside him on to realize that could never happen. I could feel my heart racing when I looked at him, my body, mind and soul all worked in unison, all gravitated towards one thing; Him. I wanted him to hold me close and make love to me just as he always did. I was blinded with a longing feeling and enveloped with nothing but desire. I slowly walked over to where he was and stepped under the shower next to him, I let the warm shower droplets land carelessly on my back as he locked me in a tight embrace and planted a wet wanting kiss on my lips. I felt his arousal growing on my bare thighs and loved the feeling of it.
“I had missed you Yvonne”, he whispered in my ear and ran his hands along my bare back. I loved the feeling and squirmed under his touch; I responded by combing my hand through his wet hair. I loved how close he felt to me.
“I’ve missed you too”, I said and let my head rest on his shoulders.
All of a sudden, both of us were enveloped with desire and he held me in a tighter grip before turning me around so that my back pressed hard on his chest. He directed his hand toward my nipple and caressed me slowly before sliding into me. I let out a soft moan as he gently slid in. The shower was still running and the water droplets fell, only to be interrupted by our intertwined bodies. I held on to his arm with a firm grip as he kept on thrusting deliciously into me. I let out a few more loud moans as he went on to fill me up with fire and desire. I loved how hard he kept pumping and thrusting into me. A tingling sensation slithered up from my curled toes, making its way up the inside edge of my dripping thighs and I knew where all this was heading. My body succumbed to the desires and I let out a louder moan as I reached my climax. He paused for a second or two and let me have my moment of glory before quickening his pace and exploding deep into me.
“That was amazing”, Gavin let out before pulling out and spanking me on my naked behind slightly.
“I know, I was there”, I answered.
My smart response made him spank me a second time; I let out a playful smile and got under the shower to wash up. Feeling dirtier after sex was how I loved it. And I always needed a shower after Gavin.
I could feel my stomach letting out a few growling hunger noises and he smiled up at me.
“Food should be here soon”, he announced.
“It had better be”, I answered.
We both stepped out of the shower and I looked around the hotel room. I thought of how I would have matched the curtains to the furniture if it were my house and maybe for the first time longed for something more than the sneaking around in hotel rooms. We couldn’t use my house as a sex mansion because of Shantell and the vice versa for his case was also true. I walked over to the bed and slipped on a warm bath robe and waited for the food. Gavin was busy rummaging through his bag looking for something. He turned his attention to me and handed me a gift box, he always did that and I always appreciated it.
“I got something for you”, he said as he handed it to me. My smile would have literally lit up the room as I accepted the box from him. I curiously shook it first to listen to its contents but could not really make out what was in it.
“What is it?” I asked excitedly.
“Open it”, he encouraged.
I ripped the wrapping paper so fast and stared at the contents of it. A lovely diamond bracelet stared back at me and I felt an excitement sear through me.
“Thank you Gavin”, I said out loud before letting out a girlish giggle.
The door distracted us and I knew it must be room service, Gavin rushed over to open the door and I was left sprawled on the bed staring at my new gift.
He stepped aside and let the waiter with his trolley to walk through the door.
“Thank you”, Gavin said before tipping him and closing the door after he left.
“So, how are the wife and kids?” I asked from out of the blue. Gavin went about fixing a plate for me and pouring me some wine before he answered me.
“I think Margo is cheating on me”, he answered “The kids are good”.
“Why would you think that?” I asked curiously.
“You know, the usual signs”, he went on before walking over to me and handing me my plate.
“Which are?”
“She is all of a sudden paying more attention to fashion and how she looks”, Gavin explained “Gets home late, has impromptu night trips and is always on her phone texting someone all through the night”.
“Is she interested in sex?” I asked.
“We have not had sex for about three months now”, he replied. I looked down at my plate and picked my fork.
The food was delicious and it helped me drown the image of Gavin and Margo having sex. I would sometimes feel jealous when he mentioned her to me but there was of course nothing I could do. My life was perfect the way it was without any marital commitments.
“What’s her excuse?”
“Work, she is always tired”, Gavin answered. He looked miserable and it made me feel useless. He was not supposed to be talking to me about his wife, especially not hurting about her in front of me.
“Do you think she suspected you first?” I inquired as I went on to chew on my food.
“Yeah, I think so”, Gavin answered honestly “But we have always been careful”.
“A woman always knows Gavin, a woman always knows”.
The rest of the night was spent talking about Margo and what Gavin would do if he found out that she was indeed cheating on him. The night drew closer quickly and I fell asleep in his arms. I looked around the room before shutting my eyes. He had already been made a slave by a deep slumber and I could hear his soft snores echo in the room. I thought of my little angel back at home probably and wondered what she would think of me if she saw what I was doing with her uncle. I thought of Margo and her kids as well and wondered what she would think if she saw me canoodling with her husband at that particular point. My mind then raced back to my heart and I searched it again, there was no guilt, no remorse just an awkward stillness that I couldn’t make sense of at that time.