Bad Boy's Bridesmaid (26 page)

“I’m sorry I let
you think you could banish people.”

Sandra broke up
the girls, flittering between the two of them before lamenting that Mandy’s
hair would have to stay down while they walked the aisle. She clapped her
hands.

“We’re officially
behind. Let’s move it! My baby has to get married!”

She hustled from
the staging room, leading the bridal party. Damn it. I reached for Mandy, but
Rick already took her arm.

Mandy didn’t
look at me, and Rick’s nose still bled. She gently touched his swollen brow,
repeatedly apologizing for
my
behavior.

Fuck. She was
going to hate me.

I had to talk to
her, but the music strummed from above. The church’s string quartet group began
their set. We took the stairs and waited for our cues to head into the
sanctuary.

My eyes never
left Mandy.

I searched for
her between the ruffles of teal and half-busted bouquets. She waited for her
cue in silence, and she walked arm-in-arm with Rick as Maid of Honor and Best
Man.

He was
responsible. He was kind and caring. He might have taken excellent care of her.

But I wasn’t
losing Mandy to him. I couldn’t.

She took her place
beside the altar, and her eyes averted from me. My pulse beat out-of-sync to
the music.

How could I have
been so stupid?

The instant she’d
told me about the baby, my heart split in two and grew double in size, beating
for her and my unborn child. I should have stayed. She deserved better than my
shock, and she deserved more than a proposal of convenience.

I never planned
to settle down before, but now I couldn’t imagine a life without Mandy.

I blew my first
chance, but I wouldn’t ruin the second.

If she’d take me
back.

The bridal
procession filled the church. The pews packed with family and friends. They
stood as the wedding march strummed.

Lindsey was a
hellcat, a raging bitch, and the craziest damn woman I knew, but she did look beautiful.
She held her father’s arm and trembled while she walked down the aisle. Conrad
hugged her before giving her arm to Bryce. She held on and whispered something
in his ear.

No harsh words.
No fighting.

And once Mandy pulled
the ribbon with
Condolences
scrawled in beautiful calligraphy from
Lindsey’s bouquet, we were good to go.

I hadn’t
listened to one of the father’s sermons in years. Hell, I’d ducked out of the
church on Easter and Christmas when Mom wasn’t watching.

I never once
believed a word out of my father’s mouth…

Except when he
delivered surprisingly good advice.

The last thing I
wanted was to trap Mandy in a marriage because we had a child. The only thing
that might have made it worse was marrying her to save face in the community. I
left home specifically to avoid those types of obligations. My father had
demanded I live a life of respectful piety and perfection, and he tortured me
with that fate for eighteen years.

Mandy worried
she’d be caught in a loveless life. I avoided the opposite. A life of fear.

My child would
never feel trapped like that. Not as long as I lived.

“
Dearly
beloved
…”

My father
extended his hands over Lindsey and Bryce.

“I am honored to
stand before you today, witnessing the marriage of Lindsey Prescott and Bryce
Washington. I’ve had the privilege of watching this lovely couple grow from
children into the beautiful adults they are today, and I am so happy they are
beginning their lives together.”

I didn’t buy my
father’s fake sincerity, especially when I knew what he’d say if it were me and
Mandy at the altar instead.

Mandy stared at
her sister, clutching both of their bouquets in trembling hands. She actually
listened
to Dad’s sermon on love, life, and commitment.

She believed it.

Every word.

Mandy wanted
nothing more than that life of romance and devotion, a life I never thought was
possible until I fell for her.

She watched,
captivated.

And I imagined
it was us before the altar—her eyes wide, her smile perfect, declaring her true
feelings to all who would listen.

Dad rested a hand
over the bride and groom’s hands. “Marriage is a gift. Most times it will be hard.
Sometimes it will be painful. But, given the chance, it will become your
greatest joy. Just as you’ve grown together as childhood friends, you will now
explore this new world of love and commitment as partners, with all of its
surprises and challenges.”

I snorted. Rick
frowned at me, but I didn’t care.

I just had the
biggest surprise and challenge of my life thrown at me, but there was no one
I’d rather handle it with than Mandy.

Hell, I didn’t
think life could throw anything crazier at me. Even if it did, I’d do
everything in my power to ensure she experienced only happiness, pleasure, and
love.

If that was
marriage, what did I need a ring for?

“You’ll find
your relationship isn’t simply an agreement between two people to live in
harmony,” Dad said. “As a wife, you will comfort, guide, and support your
husband—even when it is hard to trust…and harder to imagine his commitment.
And, as a husband…” Dad paused for just a moment. “You will have a great
responsibility. You must become more than a man.”

I looked up. My
father’s glance was quick, hardly enough for Bryce or Lindsey to notice.

But I did.

And I seized a
breath for whatever was coming.

“You will become
a
husband
to a wife. A
lover
to a woman.
Eventually
a
father to a child. And while those things may sound like three separate duties,
you’ll find they are
one
. These responsibilities are what define a man,
and you must demonstrate this
honor
to the woman you love.”

How
?

It didn’t
surprise me that Dad answered. He loved the sound of his own voice, but
goddamn, I was glad he talked.

“How do you do
this?” Dad smiled, patting their hands. “You love her. Simple as that.”

Well, fuck. I
already did that.

There had to be more,
right?

“Now, I
understand you’ve prepared your own vows…”

Wait
.

Dad stopped
preaching, but it couldn’t be that simple.

My feelings for
Mandy were complicated, a tangled mess of ill-intentions that created life-changing
consequences for both of us.

But maybe that’s
what love was?

It wasn’t Lindsey’s
wailing tears as she pledged
undying, forever devotion to her snuggle-buddy
bear
. And it wasn’t Bryce awkwardly reading a speech Lindsey must have
written for him.

Love was what I
felt for Mandy.

Responsibility.
Desire. Protectiveness.  

And if she
hadn’t figured it out yet, then it’d be up to me to show her exactly the type
of life we’d make together.

Lindsey and
Bryce finished their vows, prayed, and listened to Mandy offer a teary reading
from that same damn verse in Corinthians everyone always cited.

I was supposed
to give a second reading, but I knew a better passage. I walked to the lectern
without a Bible. Years of my father’s tutelage and forced Bible studies at
night ended with me memorizing most of the book. The passage hadn’t made sense
until now.

The church
silenced for me. I looked only at Mandy.

“1 John 4:18.” I
said. “There is no fear in love.”

There is no fear
in love
.

Nate’s words
rang in my mind, beyond the final pronouncement of Lindsey and Bryce as husband
and wife.

He spoke every
word during the reading with that playboy confidence he used to chase me. It
wasn’t his assigned passage, but he didn’t recite it for Lindsey and Bryce.

He read it to me.

For me
.

Everything
inside me turned from a jumble of confusion into a mooshed mess of panic,
anxiety, and fear. My head hurt, I hadn’t slept, and every beat of my heart
threatened to shatter it into a million jagged, lovesick pieces.

I wanted Nate,
but I would not marry him because we were having a baby. I wasn’t going to risk
everything on a man who would use marriage as an excuse for a mistake.

I could protect
my own baby, and I didn’t need a ring on my finger to justify carrying the
child.

I certainly
didn’t need some bad boy swooping in to play baby daddy while he beat the shit
out of our best friend ten minutes before the start of the wedding.

Rick bled
through the ceremony, and we’d never get the deposit back on a blood-stained tux. 

Stress cracked
us all, and the only tape I had to piece us together was supposed to stripe my
sister’s chest so her dress wouldn’t reveal the tips of her wedding bells for
everyone to see.

It’d be a
miracle if I survived the rest of the wedding without any more fistfights,
banishments from the party, or unexpected pregnancies.

The bridal
procession crossed out of the church and into the courtyard outside. The guests
lined up to congratulate the new bride and groom.

No one was
throwing rice. Not good. I hiked up my dress so I could run inside for the bag,
but Rick stopped me.

“Don’t bother,”
he said. “The caterers accidentally cooked it.”

Well, the party
was off to a good start. At least we’d have another side for the taco bar.

Lindsey didn’t
seem to mind the riceless well-wishing. She leapt into Bryce’s arms and gave
him a kiss. The crowd cheered, and the bridal party hooted.

I applauded,
though my hands stilled as I caught Nate’s gaze. He broke away from the
groomsmen and stalked towards me.

Now or never.

I had no idea if
I was ready to confront him.

Fortunately, my
mother bombarded me. It might have been the first time I was relieved to see
her.

She snaked her
hand around my wrist and tugged me off the stairs to the church. Her dress
didn’t fit her, and the hoochie-momma red mortified Lindsey, but at least we’d
talked her out of singing
Natural Woman
during the ceremony.

She’d sing it
during the reception instead.

Mom dabbed her
eyes with a tissue.

“You were good
to your sister today.” She stroked my cheek. “I’m proud of you.”

My heart
swelled. I loved hearing that from Mom so much that I let it slide that I could
only do right by her if I was doing right by Lindsey.

“Thanks, Mom.”

She tucked my
hair behind my ear. Brushed a wrinkle from my dress.

Frowned at how
the shoes fit my feet.

I cleared my
throat to return her attention to me. She smiled.

“I wish you
hadn’t told me I was going to be a grandma in such a fitful way today.”

I braced for it.

“But…I know
you’ll be a better mother than I was.”

My eyes widened.
I nearly choked. It was as close to an apology and compliment as I could get, even
if she backhanded it to me. She expected sympathy, for me to assure her she was
an excellent mother. That was fine. It was the best I had gotten out of Mom in
forever.

“You’re not mad
at me?” I asked.

“You can’t be
mad about a baby.”

“That’s what Dad
said.”

“Well…” She
searched over the courtyard, watching as he gave Lindsey a big hug. “He’s
pretty wise about some things. Certainly not everything, but you should listen
to your daddy about that. Nothing made us happier than raising you girls.”

“Really?”

“If I had paid
half as much attention to him as I did when I chased you rugrats around…” Mom shook
her head. “Anyway. You keep that little bundle close to your heart. Sometimes
it’s hard to show how much you really care. But you’re a special girl, Mandy. Your
baby will
always
know.”

Mom kissed my
cheek before screeching to meet her cousin. I’d never make it through this reception
without breaking down.

I expected his
hand on my arm, but I wasn’t ready to deal with him in the middle of the
festivities, surrounded by friends, family, and everyone already gossiping
about the expecting Prescott girl.

“Nate, later,” I
said. “Please.”

His voice was
low, a comforting grumble. “Not later. Right now. We have to talk.”

“Not here.”

“I won’t wait
any longer.” He pressed close behind me. “Come on. We’ll find some place
quiet…”

His hand grasped
mine. My stomach churned.

Oh God, I could
not
throw up in the middle of the wedding.

Fortunately,
Lindsey squealed.

“
Pictures
!”
My sister clapped her hands, summoning her bridesmaids to a tight circle of
drunken, bouncing fun. “
Mandy
, come here!”

Oh, no way was I
jumping into that fray. The strapless dress already struggled to contain my
chest. One good jiggle and I’d cause an even bigger scandal than the rumor of
my secret pregnancy.

The other bridesmaids
pulled me from Nate. Lindsey hugged me, squeezing until I thought she’d pop the
baby out. She ordered everyone away and demanded the first picture be with me.

I knew my
sister. The next hour of our lives would become a hellish blitz of flashes,
poses, and duck-faces. As per her instructions, we became a team of string-less
marionettes for her wedding pleasure.

She shoved me
into Rick’s arms and ordered me to smile with a bouquet of billowing white
flowers. He didn’t need pictures, he needed pain-killers
.
Nate had
handed him a baggie of ice, but it hadn’t stemmed the swelling yet.

Lindsey hummed.
“Rick, turn to your right. Pose with your good side.”

“I can’t feel my
good side,” he grumbled.

“Just guess.”

I reached for
his cheek, touching the tender injury. “I’m sorry.”

Lindsey snapped
at me. “Mandy! Hands down!”

“Sorry,” I said
as he flinched and my sister shrieked. “Are you hurt?”

Rick shrugged,
offering a pained smile, but nothing that couldn’t be Photoshopped to Lindsey’s
specifications. “I’ll be okay. Probably deserved it.”

“No, you
didn’t.”

“I should have
talked to Nate first.” Rick wound his arm in mine. “He’s crazy about you.”

I didn’t answer.
The flashes momentarily blinded me, and I used it as an excuse to avoid the
conversation. Rick lowered his voice.

“I know it’s
scary,” he said. “And I know he hasn’t been the greatest man in the world. But
you’re a girl worth changing for.”

“You’re very
sweet.”

“You should go find
him.”

I squeezed his
arm. “What if…what if that’s a mistake?”

Rick grimaced
for the camera one last time before the rest of the bridesmaids crashed our
picture. “And what if it’s the greatest thing you ever did?”

Lindsey berated
the photographer into a hundred different shots of her “second kiss” with
Bryce, and Rick casually passed his brother a tube of Chap Stick for the next
twenty she demanded.

I snuck away
once Lindsey began her one-on-one pictures with the bridesmaids, peeking
through the church to find Nate. Of course, I wasn’t permitted to cross the
threshold into the yard where the reception was held, not until the bridal
party was formally introduced. I nearly broke out anyway.

Bryce caught me before
I took a step.

“Nate’s gone,”
he said. “Didn’t he tell you?”

My heart
stopped—the only defense it had against breaking. I collapsed against the wall,
my eyes welling with tears.

“Whoa! No!”
Bryce pulled me into a hug. “The caterers didn’t have a bartender like we
thought. There’s no alcohol.”

“Nate’s gone…and
now there’s nothing to drink?” I covered my face. “This is a disaster.”

“Mandy, listen
to me. Nate went to help. He’s grabbing a couple kegs from
Arrogance
.”
Bryce sucked in a breath. “
Ohh
, you thought I meant…that
he
left
you.”

No wonder
Lindsey was always pissed at him. I slapped his arm.

“When’s he
coming back?”

“Hopefully soon.
We have to serve dinner.”

I groaned.
Suddenly when I had to talk to him, Nate wasn’t around. This wasn’t fair,
especially since I couldn’t drink whatever he’d bring to the party.

We lined up in
the church, arranged by couple. Originally, Lindsey demanded each of us make up
our own dance when we were announced. However, I was a klutz, and Rick was a
cardiologist who lost the ability to dance in lieu of conducting surgeries. He
twirled me instead. Safe and easy.

We sat as the DJ
announced the newlyweds, but I stared only at Nate’s vacant seat. My heart
pounded. I had no idea what I’d say to him when I finally had the chance to
face him, but I couldn’t hide how I felt anymore. I spent nearly three months
denying my feelings to everyone, including myself. It did nothing but cause
problems.

If I wanted a
relationship with Nate…that meant confronting every mistake, every insecurity,
and every fear head on.

It took a pregnancy
for me to learn that lesson, but it was going to stick.

I
wanted
Nate, and nothing was going to stop me from getting him.

Except a lack of
booze.

The DJ promised
that the alcohol was on its way, and the caterers did their best with lemonade
and water. I sucked on my ginger ale and chewed the straw as I waited for him
to return.

At least the
reception looked amazing.  A field of tables with white tablecloths lined the
party, and we had enough room for a big dancing area
.
As an additional
perk, the church had a small playground to entertain the kids running amuck.

Everyone sat to
watch Lindsey and Bryce’s first dance—not the crazy Dirty Dancing routine she
planned, but, to my surprise, Bryce’s favorite song. The held each other close
and swayed to the music.

I had no doubt that
it would be my sister’s favorite part of her special day.

It was the first
time I was envious of Lindsey.

Dinner was
served before Nate returned. I picked over the vegetarian meal, actually
enjoying the polenta and mushrooms. I wasn’t hungry though. I bit my lip until
it was raw and shredded my napkin under the table.

I popped out of
my seat the instant I saw the glint of sunlight strike the metal kegs. Nate
carried in more alcohol than we could possibly serve, and he earned a rancorous
applause. He took a bow and laughed, but he searched only for me.

This was it.

I had to
confront him. He had to know how I felt.

I slipped away
from the table.

Then someone
handed Lindsey a microphone. She grabbed my wrist before I escaped.

“Everyone…” My
sister pouted until she had everyone’s undivided attention. “I want to thank
you all for coming on this special day.”

The guests
applauded. A few people tapped their glasses with their spoons, and Lindsey
grabbed Bryce by the collar to haul him in for a kiss. It earned another round
of cheers.

“I know
traditionally
everyone is supposed to toast me…”

Reflexively, the
bridesmaids and I clamored over the table to find anything to raise in her honor.
Carmen spilled her water, grabbed a candle, and set the tablecloth on fire. I lifted
both my drink and Rick’s, which, coincidentally, helped to put out the flames.

Lindsey took the
drink from Bryce’s hand and continued.