Bad Boy's Heart: A Firemen in Love Series Novella (11 page)

“Right. As if women these days are one iota interested in tending to a man's needs. Everything's all equal opportunity, don't you know.”

“I wouldn't mind,” she said quietly, slipping the ring back on her finger. “I like taking care of people. Guess that's part of why I became a teacher. Because I don't have kids of my own yet.”

My heart began to pound. It was a familiar sensation, one I'd felt many times and knew well. It was that sense of impending doom I got when a woman started moving too fast for my liking.

Of course, Alicia wasn't doing that. The ring was fake. We weren't married; we weren't even dating. That would imply commitment, a thing which scared me very much and I hoped to avoid at all costs.

Maybe it was the mention of kids that got me. She wanted them; I could see this longing in her eyes and hear it in her voice. I, on the other hand, would have been happy to remain a childless bachelor for all of my days.

“Today we've got a fun-filled day of hanging out with my grandparents,” she said.

“I'm fairly sure that's an oxymoron.”

She bopped me on the head with a travel guide. “Hush. Just you keep up the charm and polite small talk, and they'll be perfectly happy.”

We didn't talk about the previous night as we dressed. In fact, she acted like it didn't happen – no kisses, no flirting, no meaningful looks over coffee as we watched the morning news in bed.

There was something not quite right, but she seemed chipper as I'd always known her to be, so I said nothing either.

“Grandma's meeting us at the local tourist trap to buy us souvenirs,” she said as we zipped down the highway.

“What a blast. I'd rather hang out with your crazy cousin Dana.”

“I'm not letting her anywhere near you. Surely you saw the way she undressed you with her eyes.”

I put my hand on her thigh. “Aw, is someone jealous?”

“No!” She swerved the car a little into the other lane.

“You've got nothing to worry about. I try to stay far away from girls like that.” I shivered. “Had more than enough experience to know they're not worth the trouble.”

We rolled to a stop, and she gave me a funny look. “Just how much experience are we talking, I wonder?”

If I told her the real number, I was sure she'd freak out and crash the car into a telephone pole. Instead, I put on a big, charming smile.

“Enough to learn all my tricks – which includes pleasing you, if last night was an indication of things.”

She squirmed, apparently not liking my answer. Well, what was I supposed to say? I liked my variety. Most women were cool with that. They understood I wasn't looking for love.

The look on her face said she
wasn't
so cool with it.

We arrived at the Dolphin Trading Emporium shortly. There was Susie, waiting for us in the lobby. She raised her arms for a hug and let out a squeal in greeting.

“There's the happy new couple!” She squeezed me so hard I couldn't breathe. “Oh, you've simply got to check out this stall. The seller has the most adorable newborn clothes.”

“N-newborn?” Alicia stammered. “There is no baby, grandma. There won't be for a long while yet.”

Susie sulked. “Yes, well, it never hurts to be prepared. Just in case you change your mind.”

So she led us to the shop and had a ball picking out infant clothes while we trailed dutifully behind. Every so often, she'd crow over a cute rattle or onesie and get me to agree how adorable it was.

“No offense,” I whispered to Alicia while Susie was busy talking to herself. “But would you mind if I jumped over the balcony? I hear there's sharks in these waters, and if I'm lucky, they'll make it quick.”

She pushed me into a rack of frilly pink dresses. “Aw, c'mon. It's not that bad,” she said, then smiled. “I kind of don't mind. It's nice to imagine what it'll be like, buying things for my own baby one day.”

“So you
do
want kids.”

“Soon as I find the right man.” She spoke softly and didn't look at me. “Don't you?”

“Hell no. I happen to like my privacy, late-night parties, and sleeping in on the weekends. Soon as you have rugrats, your old life goes completely out the window. I frankly dunno how you can handle a classroom full of the things.”

I realized quick after I blurted it out that I made a mistake.

“Sure, your life changes.” She rifled through a stack of clearance baby t-shirts. “But mostly for the better. Children add something to your whole world that wasn't there before.”

“Yeah. Dirty diapers and non-stop crying for attention. Sounds like a dream come true.”

Alicia seemed genuinely offended, but I couldn't grasp why. I'd always spoken my mind around her, particularly because she was so level-headed and it was tough as nails to hurt her feelings.

That, and she knew my stance on child rearing. Back in school, I'd made my aversion to the little monsters all too clear when one broke my Mustang's window with his baseball.

Instead of apologizing – which I shouldn't have had to do, in my mind – I let her wander off on her own.

“Ah, dear. There you are.” Susie cooed over a wooden crib. “Isn't it beautiful? How about I buy it for you now and keep it in storage?”

“No, grandma, that... That won't be necessary.”

While I racked my brain trying to figure out what was going wrong here, my phone beeped with a new text message.

It was from Jayce. I had no chance to talk to him before we took off to Florida, and all he knew was that I'd taken some impromptu vacation time.

When I turned on the screen, up popped a picture of me with my arm around Alicia. In it, the golden wedding band was plainly visible.

“DUDE!” Jayce's message shouted. “Holy SHIT. First you run off without telling us, then you get married? Why U no invite me?”

“I'm
not
married,” I typed back, quick as I could. “Just a little practical joke.”

“But this picture popped up on my news feed this morning. Me and the boys couldn't believe it.”

I studied the photo again. It had been posted to Facebook – by Susie, naturally – with the caption “Happy newlyweds in Sanibel, Florida!”

Oh, damn. If he and the guys saw this, then a bunch of other people probably did also. The guys at the station, Alicia's family, her friends, co-workers at the elementary school...

If what we had done came out to these people, it wasn't gonna look pretty for either of us. Dang it, I
knew
Ellen's greedy plan was a horrible idea.

“Long story. Please, man, don't tell ANYONE about this.”

“Too late for that. The whole fire department's buzzing about your secret elopement.”

“Tell them to stop it. Serious. Say it's a prank.”

I nervously flipped through colorful bibs while I waited for a reply.

“Are you sure?” He added a smiley face. “This is that girl whose wedding we crashed, yeah? You two DO look super cute together.”

“Shut up. I'm never getting hitched and you know it.”

He didn't respond after that. Maybe he was busy responding to a call, or maybe he was laughing at my stupidity for agreeing to this; I didn't know which.

Too bad he and all the other guys were a thousand miles away in Waco, and I couldn't possibly get back there fast enough to do damage control.

I raced to find Alicia in the jewelry department. After pondering for a second why babies would
need
earrings or sparkly tiaras, I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into another aisle.

“Ow, what the hell? I was looking at a pretty penguin necklace. It's my friend Heidi's favorite animal, and –”

“I thought you said your grandma was internet illiterate.”

She looked confused. “She gets baffled by email and can't understand how websites magically pop up on her 'television screen.'”

“Then how do you explain this?”

I showed her the photo of us. She blanched.

“Grandma posted this?”

“You might want to nip that in the bud before this whole scheme unravels.”

But what
could
she do that wouldn't cast us both in a suspicious light? Most married couples didn't mind having pics of them thrown onto social media; it was just par for the course. Demanding she take them down would look very fishy.

Susie already had a basket loaded with crap, and was merrily making her way to the register despite Alicia's pleading.

“Grandma, listen,” she hissed. “I thought I asked you not to post pictures of us online.”

Susie frowned. “I didn't do that. I have no earthly idea what you're talking about.”

“Your phone,” I interjected. “You said it was set up to be automatic.”

She huffed. “Well, I don't know what the problem is. You two lovebirds should be proud of making such a big life decision. By the way, dear, will you be moving into Carter's house, or the beach house in Corpus Christi?”

“There's this house that comes with the inheritance,” Alicia explained to me quietly. “It belongs to them, but she always said she'd give it to me when I married.”

I watched as Susie paid for the heavy load of baby crap with an Amex Centurion card.

“Christ, your grandparents are loaded.” I shook my head. “This is not going to end well. Maybe you should just tell the truth.”

She made a horrified noise. “I couldn't do that. They'd never forgive me.”

“You kidding? They'll find out you fooled them sooner or later, probably once they realize we're still living in separate houses.” I wagged a finger at her. “And I don't intend to take this charade so far that we're moving in together.”

She did not look happy about that. Well, too bad. I'd already made a big enough sacrifice coming down here, and we couldn't keep the act up forever.

Nothing, not even the awesome sex, could convince me otherwise.

“You ask me, you should have your mother call and explain everything. It's her fault for pushing you into this. She pretty much blackmailed you on the worst day of your life.”

“I wouldn't call it the
worst
day.” She shrugged. “It's kind a relief, after I thought about it. Like ripping off a bandage.”

Susie dug her claws into my arm on the way out of the shop. “Carter, sweetheart. I bet you're so excited to show off your culinary skills to our dinner guests tonight.”

My heart almost stopped. I shot a questioning look to Alicia, who hung her head, looking embarrassed.

“Uh... Excuse me?”

“It will be fabulous.” She tossed up her arms. “We're having dozens of people to our home for it. Business partners, choice clients, corporate executives. Ed and I planned to host the party when you two came down, so we can celebrate your wedding at the same time!”

That expression on Alicia's face said she knew all about this. Why didn't she tell me? Oh, wait, I bet I knew – because if she did, she was sure I'd never have agreed to this insane scam in the first place.

“We're having much of the meal catered,” she continued. “But I told the guests that the crowning achievement would be a dish from our very own chef. Ooh, I can't wait to see what you come up with!”

We planned to meet Susie and Ed for a round at Sanibel's best miniature golf course next. Once we got in our car, though, I refused to budge until I got an answer.

“Tell me you weren't aware of this dinner party.”

“I knew
of
it, yeah, but I didn't imagine they'd beg you to cook for them.”

“Figures, your ex-boyfriend just had to be a professional chef.” I grunted and got the car moving. “Sorry to tell you, but you're out of luck. I couldn't whip up a fancy meal if I had a cookbook in my face the whole time.”

“There's got to be something we can do,” she said as we crawled down the highway behind lanes of slow-moving, retired old folks. “We'll think of something easy even you can do. Or I'll help you. I'm not all that bad in the kitchen myself.”

“Or we can say I came down with a sudden case of avian flu and you had to speed me to the hospital.”

My phone beeped again. I'd put it in one of the cup holders and gestured for Alicia to check it for me, because my mind was too occupied with this other bullshit to worry about anything else.

Now, I'd never let a woman see my phone. That was just plain stupid. The number of female names in my contacts list was enough to send them out the door screaming.

But I guess I trusted Alicia not to act crazy. When her eyes started to bug out of her head, however, I realized something wasn't quite right.

“There's another picture,” she told me. “Of us holding hands. Sent by your friend Jayce.”

“Great. Soon the entire city of Waco's going to be breathing down our necks about this whole thing.”

She scanned the rest of the thread. Suddenly, her lip began to tremble.

“You told him you never plan on getting married for real. Is that really true?”

Aw, man. Here came the drama.