Bad Boy's Lust (Firemen in Love Book 1) (18 page)

But then what? What would I do without it? Living this way was the only life I'd ever known. And it was tempting to keep on that path. At least I knew it'd bring me comfort.

Except I wasn't
really
happy. I was getting
lonely.

“All done. How's it look?”

I studied the art in the mirror. The little orchid, its petals unfurled around Elle's name.

“Perfect.”

I paid the guy, and away we went. Max didn't say much to me in the car. It was his birthday, and I felt bad. Maybe he hated me. I wouldn't blame him.

It was after ten now, and things were starting to heat up at Twinkles. The parking lot was packed full of cars, and the line of people waiting to get in almost stretched around the block.

At least they didn't have a $40 cover, like Jezebel. That place was too noisy, anyway, and the girls weren't
that
great. Most were rude, stuck-up gold-diggers with fake boobs and no personality.

They weren't Elle.

Damn it, why could I not get her off my mind no matter how hard I tried?

“Trust me, guys. Jayce isn't feeling well, but these talented ladies will have him back to his old self in no time.”

I nudged Max hard. “What if I'd rather not go back to my old self?”

“We just all want what's best for you. You'll thank me later.”

We went up to the bar, got the birthday boy a couple shots of tequila, and ordered our own drinks. Everybody else was doing hard liquor. I stuck to a nice dark beer.

“Looks like Jayce volunteered to be the designated driver.” Brett raised his glass. “Guess that means we can all get smashed, huh?”

Carter sipped his rum and orange juice. “Not me, man. If I come home smelling like booze, Alicia will totally kill me.”

Max scoffed. “See what I mean? No balls. Total pussy.”

“What are you doing at a strip club anyway? Figured Alicia would castrate you for this.”

“She's okay with it – as long as I look and don't touch.”

“What's the point in coming here if you don't treat yourself to at least one lap dance?”

“No thanks. My wife's a better dancer than all of these girls.” He patted my arm. “You'll understand what I mean soon, Jayce.”

I used to pick on Carter like the others. Used to think he was a pansy for letting his wife tell him what to do, what time to be home, how much he could drink, and on it went.

Now? I kind of respected him for it.

The other two wasted no time ogling the topless waitresses. I winced as Brett slipped a dollar into one's underwear and slapped her ass. She nearly dropped her tray of drinks, but giggled anyway.

A few weeks ago, I would have joined him. Tonight, I just didn't care.

“Hey, man. You thinking about having kids?”

The question took me by surprise. No, of course I wasn't. You didn't have babies in a fake marriage. That would be an epic disaster. I mean, what would you do with the kid once you split up? It wasn't like you could sell it on eBay or whatever.

Gently used baby, complete with dirty diaper and nonstop crying. $50, Buy It Now. (No returns accepted.)

I laughed at my own sick sense of humor.

“Jayce?”

“Sorry. Kids? I dunno. We haven't really talked much about it.”

“Seems that's the kind of thing you talk about before getting married.”

I shrugged. “Don't think she cares either way. Never mentioned it to me before.”

Carter swished his ice cubes around. He was drinking so slowly that they were melting and watering down the booze.

“You might think so, but I bet you a hundred bucks she'll start getting broody soon. Not all women are like that, mind you. Some are even adamant they don't want children. Then it's like they hit a certain age, and
bam.
It's all they can think about.”

“Sounds like you're talking from experience.”

“Sure am. Alicia had a great job; second in command at her company. She turned 30 and couldn't get babies off her mind. We decided hey, if we're gonna have 'em, better do it while we're young.”

It was the complete opposite of what Max's life philosophy was. He thought youth was to be spent partying. Carter decided he'd give the best of himself to his wife and girls.

What about me?

I had no idea. I didn't know anything anymore.

“So then what?”

“We planned to have just the one, but got surprised with the twins. She loved them so much, she quit her job to stay home and raise them.”

“You didn't mind?”

“Hell no. I love that she's always around to read to them, help them with school, you know.” He was starting to get misty-eyed. “You'll see. It's amazing.”

It all sounded pretty terrifying to me. I never thought I wanted kids. Then again, never thought I'd be getting hitched, either.

“Man, this ain't the place to be talking about that crap.” Max flagged down the bartender and shoved another drink in front of Carter. “It's my birthday, and I order you to have fun.”

I nursed my beer, even though part of me wanted to get hammered, too. Knew I couldn't, though. If I wasn't up bright and early to help Elle with those repairs, she'd kill me – and I had a shift at the station after that. Boss wouldn't much like me showing up hungover again.

But then Brett ordered shots for the lot of us.

“To Max.” He raised his glass in a toast. “To another awesome year for him. For all of us.”

I gazed at the caramel liquid in the glass. Ah, tequila. I could normally slam back ten of these in a row and barely feel it. I supposed just one wouldn't hurt.

I downed the alcohol with everyone else. Max laughed and clapped me on the back while my throat burned in that way I'd grown to love.

“There's my boy! I knew you weren't totally gone.”

Brett had reserved us a private room. We had six gorgeous, half-naked girls dancing around us in no time.

I couldn't help but stare. Couldn't stop myself from hardening. What man could?

But still, they weren't as pretty as Elle. They didn't have her adorable face or those luscious, curvy hips – the hips I longed to put my hands on while I pounded her from behind.

Mmm, that did it. Next time I got her undressed, we were getting it on doggy style for sure.

If there ever
was
a next time.

“Here you go, sugar.” The girl with dark skin, Cocoa, handed me another shot. “Drink up.”

“Oh, no, I really shouldn't.”

She pushed it back. “It's on the house. Comes with the room.”

Well, I
did
hate wasting good liquor. Down the hatch, I guess.

Max already had a girl hanging off of him with her chest in his face. He grinned and fanned a stack of dollar bills in front of her.

“This here's for whichever one of you who impresses me the most. C'mon, let's see what you got.”

The redhead, Candy, busied herself grinding all over Brett's lap. I wished I didn't look.

I wouldn't have been so horny if Elle just let me have her. Why wouldn't she let me? Not getting laid in over three weeks was becoming literally painful.

Miku, a cute Japanese girl, approached Carter with a giggle.

“No thanks,” he warned her, holding up his hand with the ring on it. “I'm a married man.”

Would I have that kind of resolve when I got hitched? I hoped so. Last thing I wanted to do was disappoint Elle.

Yeah, our marriage would be a fake one, but no way could I stand the thought of hurting her.

What was I gonna do, then? Sleep with no woman but her for months, or maybe longer? The idea used to terrify me.

Now, it sounded kind of
nice.

It didn't take long for two more women to arrive, each holding another shot for me. I knew them only as Honey and Sugar – which was kind of a problem, given I'd slept with both of them a couple months ago.

Had I really done that? Did I actually screw these girls and I didn't even know their real
names?

“There's our favorite customer.” Sugar cooed and put the glass to my lips. “We had so much fun last time.”

I reluctantly took the shot – but with all the alcohol building up in my veins, that reluctance was beginning to fade a little.

Honey fed me another drink as she climbed into my lap. Even as my body responded, my mind screamed in protest.

No, damn it. What are you doing? Don't do this. It's wrong.

“We've missed you.” She groped me through my jeans. “And we've missed this, too.”

Oh, God. Why? Why couldn't I push her off me? Why was I such an asshole?

The other side of my brain argued back.

What's the matter with you? You don't owe Elle anything. You're not really getting married. You're not even dating her. She knows how you are. Doesn't expect you to be monogamous. It's not like this is really cheating.

Besides, how could I cheat when we weren't even a couple?

Except I'd told her to her face that the only woman I wanted was her. And I meant it.

No matter how I spun this, I couldn't make excuses for my behavior anymore.

The girls had their hands all over me. It felt good, but it was meaningless.

“C'mon, handsome. We've got a special birthday surprise for you.” Max's girl already had his pants half unzipped as she led him to the back room.

If I let this continue, I'd be getting laid too. And dear Lord, I needed it.

But I'd much rather go home to Elle.

Don't worry about her. It's not like she'll give you what you really need. She'll probably let you beg like a dog, then turn you down anyway.

“What's wrong, Jayce?” Honey's fingers trailed down my chest and opened my shirt. “Oh, a new tattoo! This one wasn't here last time.”

Sugar peeked, too. “It's very pretty. Who's Elle?”

Carter cleared his throat. I caught him looking at me for just a second, but it was clear he disapproved.

Max called to me on his way out the door. “Live a little, man. This could be one of your last chances.”

Honey put her arms around my neck. “Well? Who is she?”

I took a deep breath. Thought for a moment.

Then I told them
exactly
who she was. How special she was, how much I cared for her.

Think I needed to hear those words more than they did. And you know what?

I meant every bit of it.

Chapter 15 - Elle

Heather filled my glass up with vodka and not enough Sprite. I chugged it anyway. Burned like hell, but better that than dealing with reality sober.

I coughed and sputtered, but kept it all down. Heather sighed and brushed the hair away from my eyes.

“It's gonna be okay, Elle.”

I rolled over on the bed to look at her. “My mother is going to marry David. You know what he's like. That would make him my stepdad.”

She forced a smile. “At least you didn't have to grow up in the same house with him. You can just ignore him.”

“Right. If I do that, mom will lose it. She'll say I'm tearing the family apart. Then she'll threaten to disown me.”

“She wouldn't. Aunt Angie always has been a bit melodramatic.”

Heather's bed was covered in a mound of stuffed animals. I flopped on top of them and buried my head under the giant rabbit.

“I just feel so betrayed. She knows David's after Shady Acres. That he's a greedy, selfish piece of crap who'd do anything to make a buck. That he'd go so far as to ruin her own
daughter's
business. But she's dating him anyway.”

Some annoying talk show on the TV was starting to give me a headache. I slapped at the remote and managed to mute it.

“You really care about this place.”

“It's not so much
this
place as what it represents.” I lifted the bunny off my face. “I always wanted to have my own business. When your mom asked me what I'd do when I grew up, I told her I would be a CEO one day.”

“Running a ghetto apartment building is a far cry from being company CEO.”

“Thanks a lot.” I launched a teddy bear at her head.

“Sorry! I just mean... You're really smart, Elle. Even if this place goes down, you can start another business. Build it up. Make it your own.”

“With what money? Debbie gave me a golden opportunity here. The place was already up and running. All I had to do was keep it going.”

And if all the pieces didn't fall exactly into place, I was going to fail.

“Is it really worth all the stress? Isn't there anything else you'd be happy doing?”

Maybe, but I didn't even know where to begin.

“I love houses. Old buildings, like this one. I like looking at a place and seeing all of its potential.”