Bad Boy's Lust (Firemen in Love Book 1) (29 page)

Rose gurgled and whimpered. I looked in the fridge for something she could eat. There was a ready-made bottle of formula waiting on the shelf, along with instructions for heating.

“You're doing well. I'm surprised – but then again, I always knew you'd be able to handle some kids. After all, you act like one yourself.”

He laughed. “Very funny. Here, you take the bundle of joy while I get the brat's food.”

We worked together like this for the next couple of hours. Instead of letting the boys be glued to the TV, Jayce taught them how to play poker. When Rose seemed sleepy, I read her a story in the rocking chair and put her to bed.

Finally, we had everything under control. It filled me with a kind of satisfaction I had never yet felt before. I really did enjoy taking care of kids with Jayce. What would our own children be like, though?

I wanted to find out. I wanted a family with him so badly.

At long last, their parents came home. I didn't speak to either Beth or her husband Marcus often, so they were probably very surprised to see us sitting in their apartment uninvited.

“Elle, Jayce? What are you doing here? Where's the babysitter?” Beth ran to the nursery. “Is my baby okay?”

“She's asleep. Seems your babysitter took off a few hours early.”

“Guess what, dad?” Sam ran up to his father with his playing cards. “I beat Jayce three times in a row. He taught me how to bluff, and I'm real good at it.”

Marcus sighed and ruffled his son's hair. “Wonderful. Hey, thanks, you two. You did us a serious favor tonight. We couldn't get a phone signal where we were, so I dunno what we would have done without you.”

Jayce grinned. “Apartment manager. Firefighter. Nanny. I do it all, I guess.”

He pulled out his wallet and handed us each a hundred-dollar bill. “For your trouble.”

“Oh, no, we can't accept this.”

“Go on. I was gonna give it to the babysitter, but it's yours now.”

Beth returned, smiling this time. “Rose is sound asleep. Whatever you did, it worked wonders.”

We said goodbye to everyone, then headed out.

“Well, that was quite an experience. I'm going home and having myself a cold beer. You want one?”

I shook my head. “No, but I wouldn't mind coming over. We really should talk.”

Back at Jayce's place, we sat on the couch and tried to relax. I rested my head on his shoulder while he drank his beer – sipping, not chugging the entire can, for once.

“I talked to my mom. She admitted everything.”

He grunted. “Of course.”

“She told me your dad's always had a thing for her, even when Debbie was alive. That's why he asked her to marry him so quickly after she passed.”

He gulped the rest of his beer. “Son of a bitch. He treated her so poorly. Maybe he deserves for your mom to screw him over.”

“I begged her to reconsider, to tell David the truth. She refused. She's going to act like nothing happened.”

“Then you know what we have to do.”

We walked out to the balcony to get some fresh air. As I peered over the railing to the street below, I caught a glimpse of my belly. It was definitely turning into a little bump. Jayce probably thought I'd just put on a few pounds.

I couldn't hide this for much longer. Keeping this a secret was eating me up inside.

“So, I heard occupancy hit over 80 percent today thanks to the hot dog extravaganza.”

“Yeah, it did.”

He smiled and squeezed me hard. “Then we did it, right?”

I looked at the sparkly ring on my left hand. “Almost.”

He had the marriage license already. I'd seen it hanging on his wall, but he hadn't done anything with it or even mentioned it to me. If he was having second thoughts, telling him the truth would scare him off for good.

“We're getting married, okay, Pink?”

“When?”

“Soon. I just... I'm trying to make it perfect for you.”

I sighed. “Thought we were doing it at the courthouse.”

“No. That's not good enough. You wanted a ring; you got one. You want a fairy-tale wedding? You're going to have that too. I just haven't figured it out yet.”

Tears came easily to my eyes, as they did these days. Jayce was going through so much while trying to give me the wedding I had always dreamed of. I had to tell him about the child before it was too late.

Had to let him make this choice on his own.

“I... I have to tell you something, Jayce. It's big. Really big.”

He looked at me like I had two heads. God, I'd never felt so nervous in my life.

“Is it bad?”

“Depends how you look at it.” I stroked my bump of a belly. “You want to take a guess what it is?”

His gaze fell to my stomach. Then his eyes widened.

“No. You're not... Don't tell me you're...”

I nodded. “Pregnant, yes. It's yours.”

He clutched his own stomach, as if he might throw up. This was a man who risked his life by walking through fire – yet somehow, the thought of having a baby scared him even more than that.

“How the hell? You were on the pill.” He grabbed my hand. “You
were
taking it, right?”

“Of course! I wouldn't lie to you about something so serious. It's supposed to be highly effective, but there's a chance of failure.”

He laughed bitterly. “Yeah, like what kind of chance? I bet you'd have better odds of winning the jackpot in the lottery.”

“I don't know, but it happened.”

“When? How far along?”

I thought back to that night, the one I would never forget.

“The first time. The night you took my virginity over two months ago.”

“You were carrying this kid for two and a half months and never told me.”

“I really only knew for sure a couple of weeks ago.”

He retreated indoors to the kitchen and got himself another beer.

“How much longer were you going to keep this a secret?”

“I always planned to tell you before the wedding. I thought it was wrong to trap you in a marriage and then reveal the truth. You deserved to know.”

He crumpled the beer can on his knee and threw it out. “Yeah, then why didn't you tell me sooner? All the times we talked about getting married, and you never said a word.”

“Because.” I swallowed hard. “I was afraid of your reaction. I knew you didn't want kids. I thought I was going to lose you.”

I wanted him to come to me, to hug and hold me, and tell me he wasn't going anywhere. Instead, he stayed put and gazed out the window.

“You're going to keep it.”

“Yeah, I am. I'm not asking you to stick around and take care of it, though, okay? And if you want to call off the wedding, I understand.”

“Then we'd lose Shady Acres.”

“I know.”

Again, he was silent. I hated his silence. Would much rather him smiling, making jokes or flirting with me. Anything but this.

His phone buzzed. He checked it, sighed, and slipped his jacket on before grabbing his keys.

“Wait! Where are you going?”

“Out. I gotta clear my head.”

I ran after him, although I felt like an idiot for it. “You're just going to leave me here like this? What about the baby?”

“I don't know. I just... I need to get out of here for a while.”

How could he abandon me now, when I needed his support the most? I wiped the tears from my eyes as he walked past me and out to the hall.

There was only one more thing I could think of to say or do.

“Jayce, wait. Do you know why I want to keep this baby so badly?”

He paused. “Why is that?”

“Because, I... I love you.”

He kept his back turned to me. There was a hitch in his breath, but he didn't return the words.

“I know you do, Pink.”

That was all he had to say?

“I'm going home. Have fun with your friends, or your other girlfriend, or whoever you're going to see.”

I ran down the hall and around the corner to my apartment. Threw myself down on the couch and sobbed as I waited for him to come and knock.

But he never did.

Chapter 22 - Jayce

“You were right, dude.”

Max pulled his stick back and thrust into the six ball so hard it bounced off the table. He cursed; all the other guys watching laughed at him.

“What're you laughing about, assholes?” He threw the stick down. “Uh, right about what?”

“Remember when you said I got Elle pregnant? Yeah. That.”

He gaped at me like I'd grown a tail. Brett's jaw fell. Carter, however, smiled and smacked me on the back.

“Good for you, man. I think you'll be a great dad.”

“You... Wow.” Max shook his head. “I was just messing with you the other day. How did you find out?”

A cocktail waitress came around to take drink orders and drop off Max's sixth shot of tequila tonight. She came to me next, but I waved her off. I was too messed up in the head to be drinking.

“Elle told me a couple of hours ago. She's two months or so along, I guess.”

“How'd it happen?”

Brett pushed him into the pool table. “What's the matter with you? That ain't your business.”

“Her pill failed.”

Max snickered. “Failed, or she conveniently stopped taking it? Chicks her age start getting kinda desperate. Some of 'em will do whatever it takes to get knocked up. Cheaper than paying a fertility clinic, I suppose.”

“No. She said she was taking it, and I believe her.”

I really did. When she told me, she looked so upset. Conflicted. And she wasn't that kind of woman. She would never try to trap me with a kid.

“So... She gonna keep it?”

“Yeah, that's what she says.”

“But you don't want kids.”

Didn't I? I had no idea what I really wanted these days. Elle put a leash on me, so to speak. Kept me from running around doing stupid shit and messing up my life.

Used to think I'd hate being treated that way – but I liked it. I didn't feel as if she was controlling me. I felt like she
cared.

Earlier, when she forced me to watch those brats, she put that baby in my arms. She had this funny look on her face. Now, I knew why.

“She said I could forget the wedding if I wanted.”

Carter clucked his tongue. “You can't leave her high and dry. She's carrying the baby you helped make.”

“Doesn't mean he has to marry the girl. He can still pay child support and visit the kid now and again. No reason to get tied down even further.”

“If you ask me, he needs to do the right thing – and that's giving the child a mommy and daddy both.”

“Aw, you're such a sap. Guys, I told you he's got no balls anymore.”

Brett pulled a joint out of his pocket and lit up. When he offered one to me, I politely declined. Max got a kick out of that.

“Here we go. I told you this was gonna happen.”

“Shut up. She doesn't like the idea of me doing drugs. I told her I wouldn't smoke anymore.”

“What she don't know won't hurt her.”

Max took a drag off his own joint and blew smoke in my face. Great. If I came home smelling like pot, Elle would let me have it.

“Bet if she finds that grow setup you got in the closet, she'll be done with you.”

“Actually, she already knows. I told her about the guys it's helped. Said I could keep it for now.”

Carter chuckled. “You got yourself a gem of a woman, then. If Alicia caught me growing weed in the house, she'd castrate me.”

I pulled him aside. He was the only sensible one here, and his advice was always golden.

“Man, I never expected this to happen. I'm kind of freaking out.”

“Why?”

“Because I never thought I wanted children. I mean, there was a vague thought about it in the very back of my mind, I guess. But since I never planned to settle down, the idea of having kids was just ridiculous to me.”

He shrugged. “You had to give up that existence eventually. You couldn't keep sleeping with a different girl every night for the rest of your life.”

“Yeah? Speak for yourself.”

“I mean, that's not really fulfilling. Is it? Be honest. Sex with Elle is nothing like with those other chicks.”

“Of course not. They never meant anything to me. She does.”

“And you care so much about her, you're planning to marry her.”

“Well...” I winced. “It wasn't that way at first.”

I told him our convoluted plan to get hitched to save the property. He listened patiently, sipping his Diet Coke and not saying a word until I was done.

“So you were doing this as a business thing, but then you fell in love with her in the end. Sounds like a plot from one of my wife's romance novels.”