Bad Company (18 page)

“No it wasn’t. You were the best friend—the only real friend I ever had.”

“Okay. Why don’t you try to sleep now?”

“You didn’t take off my pants.”

“Fine.” Nate pushed to his feet and tugged Kellan’s pants off his legs. “Need to pee?”

“Nope.” Kellan reached for Nate again.

He let himself be dragged down against Kellan’s chest, but when Kellan started grinding up into Nate’s crotch, he rolled off to the side. “No sex.”

“Why not? Please.” Kellan gazed up with soft, pleading eyes. “I want you to fuck me. Want you in me.”

Nate could see how Kellan had managed to get a dose of a level-one controlled substance out of the ER staff, but Nate drew the line at fucking someone who was in no condition to give consent.

“Kellan, you’re too high to think straight.”

Kellan laughed. “Don’t want to think straight. I want a guy to fuck me in the ass. That’s not very straight.”

“It’s not going to hurt that much.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I’ve had bigger things than my dick in my ass.”

“You can fuck your own ass?”

“No. I mean if you take your time, it won’t hurt.”

“Yeah, like you’d ever do it, ya control freak. Eli told me you don’t bottom.”

It sounded so strange coming from Kellan. He should be talking about some girl’s boobs or a basketball score, not discussing sexual roles.

“I have.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Go to sleep.”

“No. If you won’t gimme sex, you have to at least talk to me about it.” Kellan hooked one of his legs over Nate’s.

“My first boyfriend in college always topped.”

“What was his name?”

“Malcolm.”

“Like the X guy? Was he black?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened?”

“I figured out how much of a control freak I was.”

“And now you always top.”

“Pretty much.”

“Pretty much?” Kellan lifted his head. “So does that mean if you won’t fuck me because I’m high, I could fuck you because you’re not?”

“No.”

“Damn.” Kellan dropped his head back against the mattress.

“Here.” Nate grabbed a pillow and gently lifted Kellan’s arm. “You’re supposed to keep that elevated.”

“I’m kind of nervous about it.”

Nate decided to ignore what he knew Kellan meant. “Your hand will be fine.”

“No, I mean about you fucking me.”

But they were going there anyway. “Oh, baby, I’m going to make you love it.”

“So do it now.”

“If you still want to in the morning, I’ll fuck you until you find a new religion.”

“You’re kind of different when you’re talking about sex. You really let loose.”

Sex had always been the one thing Nate could be sure of. He wanted it, the other guy wanted it. From the first guy he’d blown sneaking around in high school, to Malcolm showing Nate about everything his body could do, right on up to now, sex was the one thing Nate never questioned. Until Kellan came along, there was no right or wrong about it, no wondering about why or what it meant. Now his only sure ground was quicksand. Kellan begging to get fucked, Kellan claiming Nate was what he wanted when Kellan had been the one to shove Nate away with both hands.

“You never talk dirty?”

“Not really.” Kellan grinned. “But I like it when you do it.”

Maybe there was an easy answer to this. Nate swung a leg over Kellan’s hips and looked down at him. “You like me telling you what to do?”

Kellan nodded, Adam’s apple bobbing while his hips bucked up against Nate’s ass.

“So if I do something you don’t want, you’ll tell me?”

“Duh. So does this mean you’ll fuck me now? I keep thinking about it, and I kind of want to get it over with.”

“Get it over with?”

“You know what I mean.”

“It’s not an initiation. It won’t make you any more gay, you know.”

Kellan sighed so hard it blew through Nate’s hair. “Why is that still even a question?” He sighed again, eyes blinking like he was on the edge of sleep. “I walked away from five million dollars for you.”

“Five hundred thousand.”

Kellan shook his head, lashes fluttering. “Five mil. Dad upped it when I wouldn’t give in. So you’d better be worth it.” Another sigh and Kellan was asleep.

Chapter Twenty

Kellan slept through the night and into the morning. Quan Yin curled into a ball next to him, her head on his uninjured arm, and snored softly. A few thicker gasps from Kellan had her shifting, but altogether, their little chorus made Nate smile as he made himself breakfast.

Nate found a contact number for the recreational therapist and called to let him know Kellan would be unable to play for awhile. The guy, Jeff, sounded more concerned about Kellan’s injury than whether he would be coming to work, which only showed that Kellan’s charm was universal. Jeff told Nate to tell his boyfriend—his boyfriend—that even if he couldn’t play the guitar, they’d be happy to have him come in and help out with the clients.

Nate came out of the shower and looked at the boyfriend asleep in his bed, the one who expected Nate to be worth five million, expected Nate could provide all the answers when Nate couldn’t explain it to himself.

There were things he could do to help Kellan start life as an adult at twenty-eight, but although columnist Nate Gray was full of advice for perfect strangers, when it came to understanding why Kellan thought Nate was what he wanted after all these years, he was stumped.

He worked on what he was good at, checking in with his writers at the paper, sorting out assignments and proofing an article a freelancer had turned in. He told a guy who suspected his boyfriend was cheating on him to confront the cheater, and wrote a “Shades of Gray” rant about the fact that summer seemed like the time when it became convenient not to care about the homeless or the hungry because they no longer resembled something from a Dickens book shivering in the street.

Nate was sitting back down at his desk with a fresh cup of green tea when Kellan started to shift around on the bed. Yin jumped off and headed for her perch on the kitchen window. Nate leaned back in his chair and watched Kellan drag himself awake. A quick wince as he tried to use both hands to push himself up, and then he rolled to face Nate.

“Hey.” Kellan’s husky voice gave Nate a low-down tingle.

“Hey.” Nate sipped his tea.

“It’s morning.”

Nate looked at his phone. “Afternoon, actually.”

“Still.”

Nate knew what Kellan meant. “How are you feeling?”

“Hungry and thirsty. My mouth feels like something furry died in there last week.” Kellan rubbed his mouth and grinned. “Oh, and horny.”

“A dead furry mouth is kind of a mood killer.”

“So I’ll get on that.”

“How’s your hand?”

“Hurts. Finger’s better.”

Kellan inhaled two slices of cold pizza and two glasses of water before heading into the bathroom.

There were a million reasons why Nate knew this was a bad idea. He’d never been with someone who’d never been fucked before, he still didn’t know that Kellan wasn’t doing this because he thought he had to prove himself, and hell, as good as Nate knew he was in bed, no one was worth five million dollars.

But Kellan came out of the bathroom in nothing but a little steam and the drops of water running from his hair, and headed right for Nate. No matter how loud that negative voice in his head was, Nate knew that this was ending with his dick in his best friend’s ass.

Kellan looked at him and shut that voice up mid-warning. “Stop stalling and fuck me, Gray.”

Nate pushed up from the chair and pulled his shirt over his head.

“No music?” Kellan grinned as he knelt on the bed.

“What do you want to get fucked to?”

“Anything that doesn’t sound like our having sex is some obligation that you’ve got to get through.”

“I don’t feel obligated.” Nate found a site that streamed slow jams and turned the speakers up before peeling off his jeans. “Not even five million dollars worth.”

“You still can’t lie for shit. I shouldn’t have told you that.”

“You remember that?”

“Every word.” Kellan waited in the middle of the bed. “I’m ready to find my new religion.” He dropped onto all fours—threes, since he was still favoring his right hand—and waggled his ass in the air.

Nate lowered himself on top of all that skin that was cool and damp from the shower and felt Kellan shiver under him. “You’re not ready. But you’re going to be.” He shoved Kellan’s shoulder to turn him onto his back.

He kissed him, nothing soft or coaxing about it, kissed him until both Kellan’s teasing and that warning voice were distant memories. Kissed away all the weirdness of planning it, of being in bed with his best friend. Kissed him until there was nothing but the heat of tongues and cocks sliding together.

Reaching for Kellan’s dick, Nate stroked him full and hot and hard before rolling the heavy sac beneath under his fingers.

“Yeah, do it now.” Kellan’s voice was straining behind clenched teeth.

“I should. Give you the fucking pounding you’ve been begging for. You deserve it the way you’ve been cockteasing me crazy for weeks.”

Kellan’s eyes widened.

“All those nights of you rubbing on me, the way you stare at my dick, my mouth. The way you just dropped to your knees yesterday.” Nate fumbled behind him into the drawer of the end table.

“So what kept you?” Kellan wrapped his legs around Nate’s hips and dragged him back down.

“I wasn’t ready,” Nate admitted. “But I am going to tease the ever-loving fuck out of you.”

“No.” It was a definite whine. “C’mon. I feel like I’ve been hard for a fucking month already. Please.”

“It’s been two minutes.”

“I don’t care.” Kellan’s voice edged deeper. “Shit, it’s all I can think about.”

Nate rocked against him while Kellan kissed and nipped at Nate’s jaw and throat, tongue flicking behind Nate’s ear.

“Do it,” Kellan whispered again.

“Gotta let me up, baby.”

Kellan lowered his legs, and Nate slid between them, tongue lapping along the trail of hair before he closed his mouth over Kellan’s dick. A wave of heat washed through Nate, and he forced himself to remember this wasn’t about what he wanted, though the sound Kellan made was so sweet, his cock filled Nate’s mouth so right, he could stay here forever.

Kellan sighed, hand slipping through Nate’s hair. Nate wanted to make this the best sex of Kellan’s life. Not because Nate was a control-freak perfectionist, but for Kellan. Making Kellan happy could easily become the new number-one obligation in his life.

Nate mouthed along the side of the shaft and felt the skin tighten even more against his lips as the blood pulsed in the thick vein under his tongue. He licked Kellan’s balls, then the thin smooth skin below, and Kellan’s legs shook. Nate worked his shoulders beneath Kellan’s thighs, forcing them farther apart, and flicked his tongue over the tight hole.

“Shit.” Kellan jumped, but Nate’s shoulders wouldn’t let him move.

Nate licked again, reaching under Kellan’s ass to lift him higher, dragging the flat of his tongue across the skin, using the point right at the entrance to make Kellan squirm and pant.

When Kellan finally relaxed and started trying to stay with Nate’s tongue, he lifted his head to work his chin on Kellan’s balls, rubbing against the sac while licking the base of Kellan’s shaft.

Nate slid his hand around to find the lube he’d tossed on the bed and slicked up one finger. He tongued Kellan’s balls harder, tracing the shape of what was inside, sucking one into his mouth while his finger circled and pressed. Kellan pushed down and Nate’s finger slipped inside a tight heat that made his dick so hard he saw purple spots behind his eyes.

Kellan grunted and panted, and Nate didn’t move the finger inside, but kept rubbing his thumb on the smooth perineum. The muscles of Kellan’s thighs were rigid, his breath fast and tight until Nate wrapped his lips around the head of Kellan’s dick and angled his finger up.

He found what he was looking for in a salty spurt of precome in his mouth and a breathless groan in Kellan’s chest. It was that purr again, deep and steady behind sealed lips, and Nate took Kellan’s dick deeper into his throat as he started to fuck him with his finger.

For someone who’d never been anyone’s first fuck before, Nate thought he was doing a damned good job until he went for two fingers and Kellan jerked away with a “Holy shit.”

Kellan tried to remember Eli’s advice about relaxing, but he was thinking more of the whole fire-hydrant thing he’d said. Since Nate’s head was still down there, Kellan knew it wasn’t a dick in him, but though Nate had stopped moving, Kellan’s ass burned.

“What’s in me?” Kellan looked down.

Nate kissed the head of Kellan’s dick before saying, “Two fingers.”

Two fingers? Damn. “Can we…?” Kellan wasn’t sure what he wanted to happen.

“Want me to take ’em out?”

But Nate’s motion had Kellan yelping, “No.”

God, everything up to now had felt so fucking good. Nate’s finger pushing inside in a way that felt sweet and hot everywhere, Nate’s fucking tongue proving that Kellan’s dick and balls weren’t the only thing interested in oral sex.

“I told you I wanted to do this on the morphine.”

“You are such a baby.” Nate smiled. “Shut up and get over it.”

Nate licked the head of Kellan’s dick and twisted those fingers until they hit that spot again. Nate wasn’t quite fucking him, just jabbing his fingers against that spot in the same rhythm as the bob of his head until Kellan couldn’t remember why he’d had a problem with any of it.

He braced his feet against the mattress and drove himself down onto Nate’s hand and up into his mouth, a steady stream of
oh fuck yeah
spilling from his lips. He was racing toward the edge, and he still hadn’t gotten Nate’s dick in him yet.

“Stop, I’m gonna come.”

Leave it to Nate to go and fucking listen for a change.

But he didn’t flip Kellan over and shove his cock in him, only eased out his fingers and stopped the hot pressure from his mouth.

The thing that pressed against Kellan’s ass now was cold and hard and a lot smoother than Nate’s fingers. As Kellan felt it start to slide in he knew what it was. That dildo. It didn’t burn like Nate’s fingers had, but the pressure wasn’t exactly comfortable. The fake dick slid in farther and it didn’t hurt, but God, it was too much, turning him into a giant raw nerve. Kellan didn’t think it could get more intense and then Nate was sucking him again, and the dildo hit that spot inside.