Bad Girl: Valetti Crime Family (A Bad Boy Mafia Romance) (11 page)

I
look
out of the peephole and my heart sinks. I knew this was going to happen. I’m surprised she waited. I prepared for her anger that night when I sent the text. It’s not fucking right the way I ended it. I rest my head on the door and she knocks again. Right in that very spot. Like she fucking knew I was there.

It hurts, and I wince like a little bitch. Shit! I need to get this over with. I open the door and part my lips to tell her I’m sorry, but she walks right past me, brushing against my body and continuing to the bedroom like I wasn’t even standing in the doorway.

What the fuck?

“Tonya!” I call after her, but she doesn’t stop. I shut the door and follow her to my bedroom, not knowing what to expect.

I walk in and find her sitting on the edge of my bed, waiting for me. She’s gripping the edge of the comforter and looking at the ground.

“Charges are dropped,” she says to the floor.

I take in her appearance. She’s nothing like the woman I was with this past weekend. Not the sweet spitfire in a sundress. She’s hurting bad. I walk over and sit next to her on the bed, but I keep my hands to myself. We can’t keep this shit up.

“I know.” I’m not going to tell her I found out from the judge. She doesn’t ask though. She’s quiet for a while. I let her sit and think. I won’t push her to tell me why she’s here.

“I need you right now, Tommy,” she finally says. Tears leak from the corners of her eyes and it breaks my heart in two. I lose my resolve and wrap her small body in my arms. I pull her into my lap and hold her while she cries.

“What’s wrong, baby?” She cries harder at my words, and I can’t stand it. I just want her to stop. She’s a strong woman. I didn’t think I'd hurt her like this. “I’m sorry.” I kiss her neck. I wish there were another way. I wish we hadn’t met like this. “I’m sorry it has to be this way.”

She nods her head into my chest, but she doesn’t let up on the tears. I stroke her back and rock her. Kissing her hair, her shoulder. I keep soothing her the best I can.

“You don’t deserve this, baby. You deserve better.”

She shakes her head and heaves in a shaky breath. “Don’t act like I’m good enough for you. I’m not. I’m a thug, and you’re a cop,” I point out.

She doesn’t respond. The only reaction I get is that her cries slowly stop. It takes a few more minutes before she lifts her head and wipes away the tears.

Her cheeks are tear-stained and red, her eyes are glassy. She sniffles and I reach to the nightstand for a tissue for her.

“You’re gonna be alright, babe, you’re going places.” My heart clenches in my chest. I don’t wanna do this. I have to admit, when she didn’t come that night it hurt, even though I told her to stay away. A part of me hoped she wouldn't listen, and she'd come to me. Even if it was just to yell at me for putting her through that shit. But I realized it was for the best. I’m only gonna hold her back. I’ll ruin her career. And just being with me puts both of us in danger with the
familia
. It’s impossible.

She was right to question us being together. It never should’ve happened.

“I just need to feel something right now.” She turns her head to look at me. Her eyes are pleading with me. And I sure as hell am not going to refuse her. I want her. Even if it’s only once more.

“I’m here.” I pull her into my chest and lie on my side to cradle her. I leave an opened-mouth kiss on her neck. She takes my face in both of her hands and crushes her lips against mine.

I can feel all of her emotion pouring into her kiss. She needs me right now. I can’t deny her anything. In this moment, I’m only hers. She takes my bottom lip between hers and kisses me sweetly. I moan into her mouth as she parts her lips and grants me entry. My hand brushes against her hip and then slowly lifts her shirt. I let my fingers skim her skin. I smile against her lips as she pulls away and shivers from my touch.

I lift her shirt over her head. I kiss her belly, her breasts, and then the dip in her throat. I can hear her heart beating calmly as she raises her hands above her head. The tie holding up her hair loosens and slips out, letting her hair fall around her shoulders. She shakes it out gently and looks back at me with her beautiful green eyes. There’s a small amount of lust and desire, but mostly need and vulnerability.

My heart swells in my chest as I grip her hips to keep her steady and lean forward, making her fall back on the bed as I kiss her. I suck her top lip and move down her body. I kiss her belly as I unbutton her jeans and slide them off. I watch as the goosebumps slowly show along her skin. My hot breath blows across her skin as my fingers slip off her thong and leave her completely bared to me.

I’ve never felt so powerful as I do when I look down at her. It feels like a heavy weight on my shoulders, but I want it. I want her. I want to give her everything she needs.

I take a languid lick as her fingers spear through my hair. Her thighs tremble as I blow over her sensitive clit.

“Please, Tommy,” she moans into the air above me. I look up and find her staring down at me. “I need you,” she whispers.

I kick off my pants and crawl up her body. I kiss her once and watch as her eyes close while I slowly push into her. I lower my head and groan into the crook of her neck as her back bows, and I slide deeper inside of her welcoming heat. I angle my hips so I push against her clit as I settle in as deep as I can go.

I brace myself on my forearms, and watch as her mouth parts with small pants and her eyes stay closed. I cup her chin in my hand and lean down for a sweet kiss. I give her a moment to adjust to my size, and then I pull back and slam into her. Her eyes open as she gasps from the impact and pleasure.

I hold her gaze as I do the same again and again, hitting her clit each time.

“More,” she whispers. I run my hand over her thigh and let my blunt fingernails dig into her ass. I tilt her so she’s at just the right angle and hold her there as I thrust harder and deeper. Her head rocks, and her breasts bounce slightly with each pump of my hips, but her eyes stay on mine.

I want to kiss her, I want to bury my head into her neck and fuck her with wild abandon, but I can’t. I can’t break her gaze. I pick up my pace and brutally fuck into her greedy cunt, again and again. A strangled cry of pleasure escapes her lips as her thighs tremble and her nails dig into my back, leaving small scratches behind. I feel her walls tighten and I know she’s close. She’s so close, and so am I.

I suck her nipple into my mouth and pull back. My teeth bite down enough to hold on as I pull back. Her back bows off the bed as I do the same to the other breast. My breathing comes in pants and so does hers. It's all I can hear. It's all that matters right now.

I pick up my pace and gently kiss her lips. It's soft, and our lips barely touched, but it feels like more. Her lips stay parted as she moans my name. “Please, please,” she keeps begging me, and I thrust harder and deeper every time, but I know this isn't what she's begging for. It only fuels me to hold her closer and kiss her more deeply, searching for the same feeling. I give her everything I have.

Her body tries to twist away beneath me as she calls out my name.
My name
. It sounds perfect coming from her lips. I slip my hands under her knees and push them forward. Her head thrashes as I fuck deep into her pussy. My hips smack against hers with each brutal thrust. Faster and harder until I can feel the highest peak. It's so close.

“Tommy!” she cries out as her body shakes uncontrollably. My name on her lips. I'll never stop loving that. It just sounds too perfect.

My spine tingles at the base, and a cold sweat breaks out over my entire body as I pump into her three more times, chasing that high that I always get with her. And then her eyes close, and her body trembles beneath me with her own orgasm. I find my release with her, lowering my head to her neck and breathing in her sweet scent.

After a moment, when the high of our release dies, the pounding need of my heart slows, and I realize it’s over.

That was the last time.

I
know
when I let go, I’ll never hold her again. She’s lying still in my arms, thinking the same, I’m sure.

So I don’t move. I pretend there’s no reason for her to leave my embrace. That there’s nothing waiting for either of us beyond these walls.

But I’m weak. I’m the weaker of the two of us, because she’s the first to speak.

“Thank you,” she murmurs without looking at me. She’s thanking me, like I did her a favor. Like she didn’t feel that. She didn’t feel the same emotions I felt between us. I rest my head just above hers on the pillow.

“Don’t thank me. Don’t degrade what just happened like that.” The words come out harsher than I intended.

Her shoulders turn inward like she’s cowering from my hard words. I wanna tell her I love her. But it’ll only make it harder. After a minute, she molds her body against me again and relaxes in my embrace. I kiss her hair, and just as I lose my resolve and decide I should risk it all and tell her, I hear my front door open.

My blood turns to ice. I move quickly to get to the other side of Tonya, to block her from whoever just came into my place uninvited. A million possibilities race through my mind. It could be the cops coming to get me for something, a rival prick trying to prove he’s tougher than me. For all I know, I could be on someone’s hit list. I open my drawer for my gun. But then I hear Anthony’s voice as he calls out, “Tommy! Where are you, bro?” My heart only races faster as I look between Tonya and the closed bedroom door.

“Wait here,” I whisper to Tonya as she stares at the closed door with fear.

“Coming!” I yell out to him before leaning down and kissing her.

“Yo! We gotta talk!” I hear Anthony yell, and I resist the urge to hold her longer and finally back away.

I grab my pants and shove them on as quick as I can. I can't let him back here. I can't let him see her.

By the time I get to my living room, I’m pissed and aggravated. And worried. I breathe out slowly as I see Anthony going through the liquor cabinet. He turns to face me with two glasses in one hand, and a bottle of scotch in the other.

“What’s wrong? You’re all good now. Why the fuck do you look like that?” Anthony’s pissing me off, but it’s not his fault. I gotta calm down, but I can’t. My heart’s banging in my chest with the fear that shit’s about to get real.

“I’m fine. What’s up?” I ask him flatly.

“You don’t look fine,” he says.

I exhale heavily and think of a way to get him out of here.

“We gotta talk about Judge Steckel. He wants his--”

I’m quick to cut him off. I know she can hear, and this shit cannot fucking happen right now. “Not now, I can’t talk now.”

He looks at me like I’m fucked in the head. And he’s right, too, 'cause I am fucked.

“You can’t talk to me?” he asks.

“Not at the moment.” His eyes fly to the bedroom.

He looks confused for a moment, and then it hits him. “Are you serious, she’s back there?” His arms lower and he almost drops everything in his hands. “You've gotta be fucking kidding me.”

Tonya must’ve heard him because she comes out, pulling her shirt down and looking all sorts of pissed and upset.

“You’re a fucking idiot, Tommy.” Anthony sneers his words and moves to the other side of the room while she walks to the door. He intentionally turns his back to her, snubbing her, and it’s the last straw.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Don’t treat her like that!” I grab his shoulder and turn him around to face me while Tonya walks past us.

“Like what? Like a cop?” He raises his voice with disgust as I hear the door open.

“You’re a fucking prick.” I turn away from him. I have nothing to say, and I need to get to Tonya before she leaves.

“Me?!” he yells with disbelief. He grabs my arm to stop me from going to her and I turn around and swing. I don’t hold back and hit him square in the jaw.

His back hits the wall and leaves a dent in the drywall from his right shoulder and head. He winces from the pain and cradles his chin. I feel regret for only a second. But he crossed the line.

He looks up at me with raw anger in his eyes. He spits blood onto my floor and rights himself. I face him, waiting for his response, waiting for something.

He flexes his jaw and avoids eye contact. “I have to tell him,” he finally says with a hard look. His eyes flash with pity, anger, and betrayal.

“You know I’m not saying shit to her.” My heart beats wildly in my chest.

“I can’t fucking believe this, Tommy. What have you done?” His voice cracks on the last word.

“I just wanted her.” That's all this is. We just wanted each other. We fit together in some crazy, fucked up way.

“You wanna get laid, you go to the strip joint.” He looks at me with a pained expression. “You had to settle on a cop?”

“It didn’t happen like that.” He doesn't understand.

“Fuck, Tommy.” He leans back against the wall as I look to the door.

“I have to go get her,” I tell him, feeling like I’m stabbing him in the back.

“How could you even think it’s gonna be alright?” he asks.

“It’s not, I know it’s not. It’s over, she just needed me.”

He snorts a laugh as he sarcastically says, “Yeah, I’m sure she needed you.”

“One warning, Anthony.” I walk toward him and hold his stare. “Don’t talk about her like that.”

He holds my gaze for a moment, neither one of us backing down. And then I break it and grab my keys.

“Tommy, just think about what you’re doing,” he calls out after me.

I look back at him over my shoulder, with my hand on the doorknob.

I’m betraying the
familia
. I’m risking everything. But I can’t let it end like this.

* * *

I
hit
the gas pedal on the way to her place. She got a head start, but I wanna get there before she has a chance to think too much. If Anthony hadn’t barged in there, I don’t know what would’ve happened, but something was happening. I know we need to end this. But I don’t want to hurt her. She said she needed me, and I owe it to her to at least make sure she’s okay.

As I pull in front of her place, I see her car and she’s sitting in it, with her head down. Her hands are covering her face, and her shoulders are shaking. She’s crying. The realization makes my heart sink.

I pull in a few cars down and quickly make my way to her as she opens her door. She stands up and goes still when she sees me. Her face is red, and her eyes are swollen. I don’t waste any time pulling her into my chest and hugging her. At first she’s tense and stiff in my arms, but I know she’ll relax. What we have between us is fucked up, but I know I make her feel good. Just like she does for me.

She molds to me and I don't hold back, leaving little kisses on her cheek and neck and shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her. I don’t know what else to say.

She shakes her head and sadly says, “Don’t be.” She wipes under her eyes and pulls away from me. “You were right to end it. This shouldn’t be happening. I shouldn’t have come to you.”

She pushes away slightly, and I almost let her, but instead I tighten my grip on her.

“One more night, Tonya. Just one night more.”

She stares at me with longing in her eyes before saying, “When I wake up, Tommy, you can’t be there.” The finality is evident in her voice. Her hand cups my chin, and her eyes water. I nod my head and kiss the palm of her hand and lean into her touch. It hurts like a bitch, but I answer her, “I know. I’ll be gone.”