Read Bad Luck Black Money Online
Authors: Dan Hendrix
A few days later, after receiving his latest paycheck, Diamond rented a large storage locker to store some of the parts, which he'd fabricated for his robot. His initial design had been for a twin robotic arms system that would put Nubotkz's robot arm to shame. Over the course of time, his designs evolved into a mobile, intelligent robot, which wouldn't look out of place in a science fiction movie.
Diamond's final blueprint was for a robot that moved via track and treads like a tiny bulldozer. Two long, human-like arms would protrude from its torso and a transparent globe containing a 360-degree, vision system would sit where a head would normally be. Compared to his technological wonder, Nubotkz's robotic arm was an overpriced, outdated monstrosity.
Intermittently, Emerald would fly out, on one of Pluto Moon's company jets, to consult with Diamond during the final phases of their project. Diamond was floored with Emerald's rethinking of robotic intelligence. He had designed an entire, intelligence system using parts from an old cell phone and cheap celluloid film. The resulting 'brain' would give their robot the computing power it needed to function with an almost inconceivable amount of autonomy.
For his part, Emerald was blown away by Diamond's ingenuity. Diamond's discovery of a unique way to force multiply electricity would win him a Noble Prize, if it were ever to become public knowledge. Of course, that was the last thing either of the brothers wanted to happen. Keeping it a proprietary secret was their ticket to world shattering wealth.
Early, one rainy morning, Diamond went to his rented storage locker with the last piece of his robot in hand. It only took a few hours to fully assemble the robot and upload Emerald's programming into its 'brain'. Most inventors would be surprised if everything went perfectly on their first trial run. Diamond would have been surprised if everything didn't run perfectly from the moment, when he first powered the robot up.
Electricity flowed through its maze of wires and circuitry. Its 'brain' booted up. The robot surveyed its surroundings and waited for instructions from its master. Although it had been given no voice, the robot tilted its domed head and raised its arms up toward the roof. It seemed to be saying, "What?"
"Fantastic!" yelled Diamond unable to control himself in his moment of victory. "What shall I call you? You need a name. A name that's whimsical but apt.... I name thee, GreedyGut!"
A day later, as Diamond was celebrating his achievement at the waffle place, he spotted an old, beaten up van on the flatbed of a tow truck. He asked around the restaurant and found the tow truck's driver. The fat, unshaven man was hauling the van to sell it for scrap metal.
After a few more questions, the driver told Diamond that the van could run under its own power but not very well or very far. A deal was struck, and the tow truck driver dropped the van off at Diamond's storage locker for the price of its scrap metal value and the driver's breakfast.
Diamond needed a way to transport GreedyGut to Nubotkz and back, so the van would be perfect for the job if he could get it running smoothly. The old van was the color of an egg white omelet, if that omelet had been dropped into a bucket of rusty nails. And the engine when cranked, sounded like it was begging to be put out of its misery. The van needed a complete tare down to figure out what was going wrong under its hood.
The robot, GreedyGut, helped turn a major, time-consuming job into a pleasant, afternoon chore. Listening to its master's verbal instructions, GreedyGut took out the entire engine and disassembled it. Then after Diamond came back with a bag full of goodies from the auto parts store, the robot fixed, reassembled, and reinstalled the motor.
Impressed with the job done by his own creation, Diamond decided to make a side-by-side video of his robot versus Nubotkz's robotic arm. He found a cheap but practically new video camera listed on a local, Internet message board and bought it. Every purchase made his insides cringe, and his tiny stack of paper dollars dwindle. But he had to buy things that were absolutely necessary for his project. Plus, he reminded himself that money would no longer be an issue in his very near future.
On Wednesday night, Diamond ordered GreedyGut to get into the back of his van. He drove to Nubotkz for his night shift, janitorial job. After everyone had gone home for the night, Diamond went back outside to his van, threw a tarp over his robot, and ordered GreedyGut to follow him inside.
Nubotkz kept a working robotic arm in their assembly area for prospective clients to see it in action. Diamond programmed Nubotkz's arm to do the relatively simple task of attaching arms, legs, and heads to plastic doll torsos. Sacks of doll parts were dumped into their respective bins in preparation for the demonstration. It was the sort of job Nubotkz's robotic arm did on a regular basis. A steel cage surrounded the robotic arm's working radius for safety. A robotic arm moving at full speed could cut a human in half.
Next to the stationary robot arm, GreedyGut waited with pieces of the van's engine scattered all around it. The robot had again taken the engine out of van at Diamond's prompting and disassembled it. After the demonstration, GreedyGut would put it back where it belonged, fully operational under the van's hood. And then the robot would do
all of its creator's janitorial work. Diamond planned on catching up on some TV shows that he hadn't been able to watch since being stranded in Gulfport, Mississippi.
The demonstration was an eye opener. Nubotkz's robotic arm did its simple job, quickly and efficiently. However, Diamond's robot moved so fast that its motion blurred during filming. It also moved around, picking up parts scattered all over the floor. And as a showstopper, Diamond walked up to GreedyGut, while the robot was in the middle of reassembling the engine. GreedyGut avoided any physical contact with the man and finished its task, working around Diamond, who was intentionally getting in the way.
**
The next day, Sandy wanted to meet Diamond during her lunch break. It was a highly unusual request, but he wasn't above giving the girl a quickie every now and then. They met at a chicken shack where Sandy told Diamond of an impending meeting between Nubotkz's president and their biggest customer, Hans, who was flying in from Germany.
Diamond called Emerald, and together they decided their best course of action was to make contact with Hans before he arrived in America. Emerald hacked into Hans's computer, installed customized virus, and monitored his target's actions via web cam. When the time was right, Diamond would remotely take control of Han's computer, play his demo video, and then make his sale's pitch before Hans had time to know what hit him.
Savoring an apple strudel snack at his desk, Hans was in his happy place. Suddenly, his computer monitor sprung to life and Diamond said, "Hello, Mr. Himmel."
Hans was so startled that he almost fell out of his chair.
"I'm sorry. Is this a bad time? I can call back later."
"Who are you? How did you get on my personal computer?"
"I'm Diamond Saw, and I build the best automated machinery in the world. As far as your computer goes, I don't know. My brother handles the software."
"What do you want, Mr. Saw?"
"I want to show you this," said Diamond as his demonstration video played on Hans's screen. He watched Hans' face over the web cam as the mpeg played. It was easy to see that Hans was impressed with what he saw.
"How much do you want for your robot?" asked Hans.
"My automation device is not for sale. However, I would be willing to lease it."
"I see.... May I see the robot in person?"
"Of course, when you travel to Nubotkz, I'll contact you. We are located very close by.
Until then, Auf Wiedersehen," said Diamond as he cut off the live feed.
The president of Nubotkz, John Elridge, was nervous. Whether his company survived or went into bankruptcy was entirely in the hands of a German businessman, who was currently in transit from the airport to Nubotkz. Elridge had sent a limousine to pick him up at the airport.
All low level employees had been given the day off. Only the engineers and his personal secretary remained. Elridge paced back and forth, making his head sweat like a cue ball that had just been pulled out of a fish tank.
The chauffer showed Hans to Elridge's office, and Sandy ushered him right in. The nervous president wiped his sweaty palms on his shirt before offering a handshake to his number one customer.
"Welcome, Hans! It's so good to see you again my friend."
"Sure, sure," replied Hans as he shook the little man's hand, which felt like a slippery fish. "Lets get on with this, shall we?"
Elridge didn't know what to make of Hans's distantness. He'd always been more sociable in the past. But if Hans was in a hurry to see the latest version of Nubotkz’s robotic arm then that's exactly what they would do.
Waiting by the demonstration arm, in a single file line were Nubotkz's best and brightest engineers. They greeted Hans and extolled the virtues of the upgraded, Nubotkz robotic arm. Although he tried to pay attention to their sales pitch, Hans's mind was elsewhere until he spotted Diamond sitting on a folding chair in the corner.
Diamond was wearing a new suit, which he'd bought especially for this occasion. (He planned on returning it the next day and kept the price tag still attached but hidden on the inside of the jacket.)
"Mr. Saw, what are you doing here?" asked Hans as he walked over to shake hands.
"Mr. Himmel, I didn't mean to drag you away from the Nubotkz demonstration. Please, continue," said Diamond, while shaking hands with Hans.
"What's going on here, Diamond?" asked a puzzled Elridge, who had crept over to them.
"I suppose an explanation is necessary," said Diamond.
"You damn right it is," stormed Elridge. "And it better be a good one, or you're fired."
"Fired?" inquired Hans, while looking at Diamond. "Do you work for Nubotkz? I was under the impression that you were their competition."
"Technically, I'm the janitor here. Or at least, I was. Pardon me a second."
Getting right in Elridge's face, Diamond said, "John, I quit.... There, now I no longer work here."
"You're a corporate spy?" yelled Elridge, as his face and baldhead started to turn red. "You can't do this. I'll sue you! I'll sue both of you!"
"Whoa, John. Calm down. Don't have a heart attack.
First off, your tech isn't worth stealing. A fourth grader with an erector set could build a better robotic arm than you.
Secondly, I never signed a non-competition agreement. You might want to do a better job with the new employees’ paperwork in the future. But then again, we both know that you're not going to be in business much longer.
And last but not least, it isn't the smartest move in the world to threaten your biggest customer. I don't know Mr. Himmel very well, but somehow, I doubt that he's going to buy from a man who threatens to sue him.... Feel free to sue me. You won't win, but go ahead and try, if it makes you feel any better."
After standing there for ten seconds with his mouth dropped open, John Elridge pleaded, "How can you do this to me? You walked in here off the streets with nothing, and I gave you a job. Doesn't that mean anything?"
"Not really," answered Diamond. "In hindsight, you probably shouldn't have hired me."
Turning to Hans, Diamond said, "This is getting a little intense for me. I'm going to wait by my white van in the parking lot. Whenever you're finished in here, I'll take you to see my robot."
"No need to wait," spoke Hans. "I'm done here." Hans thanked Elridge for the tour, informed the small, sweaty man that he'd be in touch, and then left with Diamond.
Elridge watched them walk away. His engineers came over to find out what had just happened. And Elridge told them to start looking for new jobs because Nubotkz was about to go out of business.
Normally, Hans wouldn't have dreamed of getting into an old, rusty van driven by a stranger to some unknown destination. But he recognized genius when he was around it, and Diamond positively radiated it. Not once, did Diamond apologize for making him ride in the beat up van instead of taking a limousine or taxi. Hans found that geniuses often ignore normal, social conventions.
Several large boxes sat on the pavement outside of Diamond's storage locker. Diamond had driven the van parallel in front of the boxes, blocking the view from any lookie loos. He got out and raised the storage locker's door, revealing GreedyGut to Hans.
"Bring the boxes inside the locker, GreedyGut," commanded Diamond.
"Pardon, me?" inquired a startled Hans.
"I was talking to the robot. Its name is GreedyGut."
Hans walked inside the storage locker behind Diamond and said, "GreedyGut, that is a strange name. Does it have any significance? Is it an acronym, perhaps?"
"No, it's just what I call him, it, whatever. When you have it working in your factories, you can call it whatever you like."
"You mean, IF."
Looking Hans in the eyes, Diamond said, "No, I meant, 'when'. After this little practice run, you'll have no doubts.
These boxes contain the components of ten television sets. The old fashioned kind with tubes.
I found the TVs on the curb. Eight of them were still working. It took me the better part of three days to disassemble all of them. The parts are mixed in together in these boxes. Even an experienced TV repairman would have a hard time putting them back together again. But GreedyGut is not a man.
I gave a book on television repair to my robot, yesterday. It took almost twelve seconds for GreedyGut to read the entire book from cover to cover. And now, GreedyGut will assemble eight working televisions and two that don't.
Are you ready to be astounded, Mr. Himmel?"
"Yes, by all means," said Hans.
"GreedyGut, get to work," commanded Diamond.
The robot burst into action like a racecar that had been injected with nitrous oxide. Hans was flabbergasted. GreedyGut was a blur of motion. The sheer number of possible parts combinations were staggering. No machine on Earth could come close to doing what Diamond's robot was doing, right before Hans's eyes.
Parts were clicking, banging, and scraping. The racket was so loud that Diamond had to shout, "I'm sorry about the noise. Maybe, I should have gotten you some earplugs.... Oops."
Hans tried to say something, but the words wouldn't come out of his mouth. He was stunned at the miracle that was happening before him.
"I had to give it a soldering iron, solder, and a few other tools to work with," yelled Diamond. "Those don't come with GreedyGut. You'll have to supply your own tools."
Still unable to speak, Hans just nodded his head, 'yes'.
In a matter of minutes, ten completely assembled televisions sat on the floor of the storage locker. Diamond took it upon himself to plug in every television to see if it actually worked. On his very first attempt, the TV failed to turn on. Undeterred, he plugged in the next one, and it worked, then the next one worked as well. In the end, nine TVs had both picture and sound.
"I swear, only eight of these were functional before I took them apart. Either the robot was able to somehow fix one or the process of stripping them down loosened some rust or dirt, which fixed the problem."
"Amazing."
"Wait, I'll ask the robot," said Diamond as he took a cheap cell phone out of his pocket in anticipation of receiving a text. "GreedyGut, why are nine TVs working instead of eight?"
The robot responded by sending a text to Diamond's phone, which read, "too many variables... solution unknown".
"Evidently, GreedyGut doesn't know either, oh well," said Diamond, putting the phone back in his pocket.
"I'm not criticizing your work. GreedyGut is leap years beyond anything I've ever seen. But why didn't you give it the power of speech?"
"I didn't think an assembly robot needed to speak since it could text.... I'll include a speech function on the next one. OK?"
"That would be marvelous.... I guess it's obvious that I want your robot. Earlier, you mentioned something about leasing it. Would you be interested in selling exclusivity rights to my company?"
"I'll consider anything, if the price is right."
"Would you take five million dollars for seven years?"
"No. I would take five million dollars for two years exclusivity rights. And that doesn't include the actual cost of leasing my machines. The lease of my robots is going to cost you, much more."
"Of course, ... but how much for seven years exclusivity? Only my consortium of companies using your robots, nobody else."
"You certainly are hell bent on exclusivity; aren't you?" asked Diamond, although it was more of a statement than an actual question. "Provided you were able to make use of, at minimum a hundred robots, then I would accept fifty million dollars for seven years exclusivity."
"Your asking price went through the roof. Why is it so much more expensive for seven years versus two years?"
"Mr. Himmel, can we stop with this little, bargaining dance and get down to the brass tacks?"
"As you wish, Mr. Saw."
"This robot is a game changer. You know it and so do I. With hundreds of these units working night and day, using practically no electricity, you could layoff most of your workforce.
As a matter of fact, with enough of these robots, you could shift the world's manufacturing base back to Europe from America and Asia. More specifically, back to Germany. And then Germany's power will revert to the days, right before the outbreak of World War II.
Two years isn't enough time to thoroughly drain out the last drop of your competitor's lifeblood, but seven years is. Fifty million dollars is but a drop in the bucket from what you stand to make."
"Agreed, Mr. Saw. I'll have the money wired into your account as soon as possible."
"Actually, my brother and I have a corporation set up in the Camen Islands. All monies will flow through it. And my name isn't Saw; it's Hopenhammer.... Diamond Hopenhammer."
"You're related to the Hopenhammer family of Pluto Moon Technologies?"
"Yes, that's my father's company. However, this has nothing to do with him. GreedyGut is my creation. This is my business. I run the show."
"Very well, Mr. Hopenhammer, it was not my intention to poke at a sore spot. You will forgive me?"
"Of course, Mr. Himmel. No harm done."
"And I must learn all the details of your proposed lease of the GreedyGuts. Even a river made of money is worthless if we only get to dip our big toe in it."
"Unlike what the robot's name implies, I am not greedy. I expect no more than twenty-five percent of your profits. Whether it's in the form of a hefty charge per robot or a simple line of deduction on your company's balance sheet, it doesn't matter to me. Just so long as I get my twenty-five percent."
"You are open to negotiation of your percentage, I assume?"
"No, my twenty-five percent is carved in stone. You are free to take it or leave it."
"I'll take it! I'll take it."
"You are a wise businessman, Mr. Himmel. My brother, Emerald, will handle all the legalities and paperwork. He's kind of whiz at that sort of stuff....
If there is nothing further, I would be happy to give you a ride to your hotel."
"I'm flying back to Berlin on the company jet, tonight."
"A ride to the airport then?"
"Very kind of you, Mr. Hopenhammer," Hans said. He started walking toward Diamond's van when he stopped and stared up at the full moon in the night sky.
"Mr. Hopenhammer, may I ask you a question and have it not effect our deal?"
"Sure," answered Diamond as he dug the van keys out of his pocket.
"You must swear to me, that you won't alter the deal. Or I won't ask you this question."
"I swear, Hans. Ask anything."
"Why aren't you doing this business deal with an American company? As you said yourself, this can shift world power. A patriot would keep this invention in America. Have you no patriotism?"
Diamond leaned against the van and twirled his keys around one of his fingers as he contemplated the question.
Looking up in the sky at the lights of a jet on its final approach, Diamond said, "I don't really know. I think patriotism, for the most part, is an antiquated notion from better days.
I envy those naive, unquestioning patriots, who feel chills run up and down their spines whenever they hear "The Stars and Stripes Forever". It would be great to believe in a land so much that you'd willingly die for it. But why should I pledge allegiance to a country that vilifies me?