Bad Luck Cadet

Read Bad Luck Cadet Online

Authors: Suzie Ivy

Tags: #bad luck, #humor, #midlife crisis, #police, #laughter, #academy, #suzie ivy

Bad Luck Cadet

Suzie Ivy

Copyright by Suzie Ivy 2011

Published by Bad Luck Publishing at
Smashwords

Bad Luck Cadet

By

Suzie Ivy

§

A Bad Luck Adventure

Book I

Bad Luck Publishing

[email protected]

www.badluckdetective.com

 

The Bad Luck Cadet

Bad Luck Series: Book I

 

Printing History

First Edition: November 2011

 

ISBN:
978-0-9847257-0-0

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

 

Suzie Ivy is the pseudonym for the real
bad luck detective. She lives in a small Arizona town and works as
a detective by day and sometimes night. When off work, her computer
is her best friend, at least when her two dogs, horse and husband
allow.

 

Dear Reader,

This is the first story of my
adventures as a midlife police officer. It was originally published
as posts on my Bad Luck Detective Blog. I’ve kept the original
flavor and style though edited a word here and there that was
missed the first time.

This book was written because of my
lifelong friend Linda Anselmi. She introduced me to the blogging
sphere and changed my life. Thank you for years of friendship and
support. You are my “Veronica” in the world of writing.

In the world of law enforcement, Tammy
IS Veronica. You supported and believed in me when I sometimes
didn’t believe in myself. My portrayal of you in BLC is of a
strong, beautiful and no nonsense woman because you are! You were
the first person I told about the crazy notion of becoming a police
officer and that’s the smartest move I ever made. Thank
you!

My blog readers have kept my fingers
to the keyboard working on the next book and penning Stories from
Small Town, which can be found on my blog. The Bad Luck Officer
should be out soon and the writing is indicative of my evolution as
an author (this means…so much better). Thank you for your comments
and encouragement!

Special thanks go to my family. My
children are incredible and they allowed me the freedom to be me.
You are wonderful parents and I can’t wait to see what you will
someday do with your middle age dreams. My mother is the reason I
dream. Her words to me as a child, “In your lifetime there will be
a female president. Why can’t it be you?” Keep me believing. My
husband is my backbone and best friend. He still thinks I’m crazy
but loves me anyway. Thank you all!

To Class 95, the greatest group of
cadets to ever walk the halls of any police academy
anywhere!

Suzie Ivy

Chapter1

Accidents Happen

 

My midlife crisis started with a
broken hip that started with a smart horse and a dumb rider. I was
forty four years old and forty pounds overweight. My horse was in
great shape and enjoyed my pain tremendously. He laughed all the
way to his new owners. I cried all the way to the
hospital.

I convalesced for two months. During
that time, I watched television, read books, surfed the web and ate
lots of junk food. My forty pounds soon became fifty and I think
depression set in. I never suffered from depression before so I
can’t be positive. It may have just been the pain pills.

As soon as I could walk without the
walker, I decided I needed to make some changes. But what changes?
What did I want to do with the rest of my life?

 

An ad on the drugstore
bulletin board changed everything:

 

Small Town looking for a few good men
and women!

Must have a crime free
background,

Must work well with others,

Must be able to physically undergo the
rigors of the police academy,

Must be able to complete what you
start.

Must be 21 years old but you’re never
too old.

Academy begins August 15.

 

Six months away, never too old! This
was for me. I could actually picture myself in a police uniform. I
had always looked good in navy.

I stepped back from the police academy
ad and my reflection appeared in the glass. Who was this overweight
slob looking back at me? I had no excuse. I was forty pounds too
heavy before my accident. And I might have under exaggerated the
extra ten pounds since the accident.

Things needed to change. I needed to
change.

I looked back at the ad. What would my
kids say? What would my friends think? My husband would be no help.
He would sit in his big easy chair and say, “Yes dear.”

I needed Veronica. She’s that one
friend everyone has but likes to hate. She’s in great shape, she’s
a vegetarian and she believes volunteer work is good for the soul.
Veronica’s that kind of friend.

Over the next two months Veronica
kicked my butt. She never gave up and felt it was her own personal
volunteer goal to see I dropped the weight and got in shape. She
agreed not to tell our friends. I agreed to keep her latest nose
job to myself. We were both happy but I was in pain. My legs hurt,
my arms hurt and my butt hurt.

What I needed was another prescription
for pain pills but I knew I would need to pass the urine test and
it wouldn’t look good to have narcotics in my blood stream even if
they were legal. So I suffered through.

As my stomach shrank the small food
portions I was consuming became more bearable. My pants became too
large and my breasts too small. My husband was the only one who
complained. I celebrated my forty-fifth birthday but felt like I
was in my twenties, well maybe thirties. I had more energy and
wanted to exercise all the time. I went to Small Town’s police
department and picked up an application.

Yes, I lived in the Arizona town of
Small Town. It is frequently confused with Nowhere, Arizona. My
husband and I moved here ten years ago. He sells widgets to power
plants and two of the largest power plants in the country reside
here. Norman also had a pilot’s license and flew to other large
power plants. There was a lot of money to be made in power plant
widget sales.

There were two reasons I married
Norman. One was because I loved him and the other was for his last
name. Ivy just went along with Suzie. My maiden name was actually
Suzanna Shultz. Need I say more?

The police application was twenty-two
pages long. It required my life history, copies of my birth
certificate and high school diploma and it had to be notarized and
turned in by the deadline of June 1. Two weeks away. It was time to
tell Norman and my kids.

Technically they were not kids any
longer. They were young adults just beginning their lives. My
oldest, Letty, thought she had finally found the “right man.”
Roger, the middle child and my only son thought he wanted to be a
power plant operator. My youngest, Cassie, just graduated high
school. She would be leaving for college when I left for the police
academy.

Norman accepted my announcement like I
knew he would. I’m surprised he didn’t pat me on the head. I didn’t
think this was a good time to explain I would be living on campus
five hours away and he would be cooking his own dinners.

My kids were a different story. Roger
thought I was out of my mind. He actually stormed out of the house.
I knew he would be back; he lived with us rent free. Letty thought
I was menopausal, too old and even after losing thirty pounds, too
fat. Cassie, bless her heart, sided with me.


If this is what you want
mom, I think it’s great.” She said.

It actually didn’t matter what anyone
said. My mind was made up and I’d been working my ass off to reach
my goals. I finished the application and turned it in with a week
to spare. A few days later, I was called to begin the first round
of eliminations.

There were sixteen people in the room
not including Sergeant Spears. He told everyone he would begin
checking our backgrounds after we passed a written examination. Two
people walked out without completing the test. I spent the first
hour answering questions and the second hour checking my work. The
test wasn’t exactly hard but it made you think about and analyze
the questions.

I looked around and I realized the
applicants were young. All appeared to be in their twenties. Maybe
this was not such a good idea. How could I compete? I turned in my
test and went home.

A miserable three days later I got a
call.

Sergeant Spears wanted to speak with
me in person. He scheduled the appointment for 1300 hours. Thank
god I was an army brat and knew what he meant. I arrived two
minutes early. I didn’t want to show my eagerness but I absolutely
didn’t want to be late. I waited around the corner for thirty
minutes before pulling into the parking lot.

I was shown to Sergeant Spears’
office. He looked me up and down as I entered. Not in a male female
sort of way but in a “she’s completely lacking sort of way.” He
asked me to have a seat.


What makes you think you
can be a police officer?”


I’m organized, I’m
intelligent and I love mystery novels, not the cozies but the real
hard core ones.”

He rubbed his forehead and then the
back of his neck, I didn't think it was a good sign. He shook his
head and then looked at me again.


From what we have found so
far you have a clean record. I believe you received a traffic
citation five years ago but went to traffic school. As we dig
deeper, are we going to find out anything?”


I’m a
Democrat.”

There, it was out. I’d been reading up
on police officers and they were overwhelmingly Republicans. Not
that it would be anything new, I was an out spoken democrat in a
town that was prodigiously republican and took its politics
seriously.

Sergeant Spears just stared. I stared
back without breaking eye contact.


You scored the highest on
the written test. I’ve been giving that test for three years and
yours is the highest score ever.”

Boy there must be some dumb kids now a
days.


If everything checks out
you will need to pass a physical, psychological and polygraph
tests. You will also be required to meet Cooper Standards for
running, pushups and sit ups. Can you?”


Yes I can.” I said
emphatically.

He studied me another
minute.


Okay we’ll be calling one
way or another by early next week. Be ready.”

I held my elation in check as I went
out the door. It wasn't hard.

What the heck was a Cooper
Test?

Chapter 2

Jumping Hurdles

 

The week dragged by as I waited for the next
stage in my police academy entrance tests. My husband could do
nothing right. My kids were driving me nuts, my son most of all. He
actually told me I was an embarrassment to our family. My palm
itched, but I knew if I slapped him he would call the police just
to ruin my near perfect background record.

I looked up Cooper Standards on the internet.
It is divided by sex - male and female, factors in age, then gives
levels for superior, excellent, good, fair, poor and very poor
standards. If I used the good category for my age and sex, I needed
to be able to perform one 17.7 inch vertical jump, 28 sit ups and
15 pushups in one minute; run 300 meters in 72 seconds, and 1.5
miles in 13 minutes and 58 seconds.

Were they out of their cotton picking
minds?

I was averaging a 14 minute mile and thought
that was good. The sit ups and pushups wouldn't be a problem. But I
had no clue as to my abilities on the 300 meters or the vertical
jump.

Well, now was the time to find out. I decided
to head over to the high school's track and start timing myself.
Maybe I could push everything up a notch or two in the time I had.
I called Veronica for moral support. It took me five minutes to get
there. She was already waiting.

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