Bad Things (Tristan & Danika #1) (13 page)

Sandra was Harriet’s neighbor.
 
She was a small brown-haired, brown-eyed woman with a somewhat austere demeanor.
 
She was an assistant at the art gallery at the Cavendish resort.
 
It went without saying that after two drinks she’d start going on about how hot her boss, the hotel’s owner, was.
 
I’d seen pictures of the twenty something billionaire playboy, and I couldn’t really blame her.
   

Olga showed next.
 
She was a retired gymnast/acrobat with a heavy German accent.
 
She was older, with a bit of overdone plastic surgery that made it hard to tell her age.
 
She could drink the lot of us under the table.
 

Candy was the last to make an appearance.
 
At thirty-four, she was the closest of the group to my own age, though there was still a thirteen-year gap between us.
 
She worked in a burlesque show on the strip, and was a dead ringer for Betty Page, hairstyle and all.
 

“Hello Hookers,” she called loudly as she took her martini glass from Bev, giving her an air kiss.
 
Her hair and makeup were fully done, but she was wearing Betty Boop PJ’s, and kitty slippers.
 
“I’d like to start tonight, if no one objects.
 
I need to vent.”

“No objections here,” Lucy said, looking around.
 

I moved into the living room, Dot and Pupcake following me again.
 
They always followed Bev around for a while right when she first got home from work, but some or all of them eventually made their way back to me.

“Sounds good to me,” I said.
 
I sat down on the loveseat with Bev and took a big drink of my martini.
 

Everyone sat.
 
There were plenty of seats, with spots for six on the sectional, the loveseat, and two extra recliners.
 
The living room wasn’t pretty, but it was comfortable.
 
The dogs lounged around the room, as though they were in on the discussion.
 

Candy was the only one who didn’t sit, tapping a kitty slipper, her hand on her hip.
 

“Okay, here goes,” she began.
 
“I’m frustrated
—no, you know what, I’m pissed, at George!
 
I just don’t think that he even attempts to understand me, and sometimes, a lot of times, I feel like he just tries to be contrary, like he’s just looking for reasons to shut me down.”

Lucy’s brow furrowed as she studied the other woman.
 
“Okay, you’re frustrated that your partner doesn’t understand where you’re coming from—“

“I don’t think he even tries to understand,” Candy burst out.
 

Lucy nodded calmly.
 
“I can see how that would be frustrating.
 
I think we can all relate to that, on some level, but can you give us some specific examples of why you’re feeling this way?”

Candy downed her martini, and Bev was up to take her glass for a refill before she continued.
 
“Well…you all know I’m bisexual.
 
George knows it.
 
He’s known it from the start, but he won’t let me be with other women.
 
He actually had the nerve to say that he would leave me if I hooked up with someone else, even if it was a
woman
!”

“Are you still monogamous?” Lucy asked, her tone very neutral.
 

Candy blew out a frustrated breath.
 
“Yes.
 
We’re
living
together now, but I like to be with men
and
women.
 
George is talking marriage, and part of me is thrilled by that, but another part of me can’t imagine not having sex with a woman for the rest of my life.
 
It’s not fair of him to ask that of me.”

“Well, you may just have to choose, Candy.”

“But that’s not fair.
 
I’m attracted to men
and
women.”

“I understand.
 
And that’s fine.
 
Only you can decide what you want to do, and how you want to prioritize your relationships.
 
You did agree to monogamy with George.
 
If I recall, it was your idea.
 
What he’s asking you to do
—
to not have sex with other people, is no different than what any partner asks in an exclusive relationship
—“

“But I’m
attracted
to
women
.”

Bev brought Candy another martini.
 

Candy thanked, her, taking a long drink.

“I understand that.
 
I really do.
 
Do you think any monogamous relationship doesn’t face those same challenges?
 
It’s a commitment for everyone to deny those other potential attractions.
 
If you married George, you may never have sex with another woman, but that’s what marriage is.
 
If George says he won’t tolerate you having sex with other women, you either need to adhere to that, or break it off.”

“Most men would be thrilled that I liked other women!
 
Most men think it’s hot!
 
Why does he have to be different?”

“I don’t know.
 
And you’re right, many men would like that.
 
But you chose George, and he’s been clear about what he wants.
 
What he’s asking of you is not unreasonable, but it’s also not unreasonable if you decide that you can’t make the sort of commitment that he wants.”

“Well, fuck.
 
This is hard.
 
I was hoping you’d just tell me that he was an asshole.”

Lucy gave her a very understanding smile.
 
“You know that’s not what I do.”

“Yeah, I know.
 
A girl can dream.
 
Okay, I’m done with my rant.
 
Who wants to follow that hot mess?”
 
Candy sat down.
 

No one spoke right away, and Lucy’s concerned, benevolent gaze swung to me.
 
Dammit, but her understanding looks undid me.
 

“What about you, Danika?” she asked, as I’d know she would.
 
“How are you doing?
 
Where do you stand with your ex?
 
Are you still broken up?”

That last question made me bristle a bit.
 
“Of course we are!
 
I caught a chick giving him a blow job in exchange for pot.
 
It’s not a complicated situation.
 
It’s very cut and dry.
 
I’m not wishy-washy about it.
 
I never want to speak to him again.”
 
It was the strangest thing, how something that had felt so awful just a month ago, didn’t make me feel anything but annoyance just then.

She nodded, not looking at all surprised by my outburst.
 
“And has he been trying to call?”

I sighed.
 
“Yeah.
 
It’s calmed down to a few attempts a day, so I’m confident that eventually he’ll stop trying altogether.”

“And have you started seeing anyone else?”

“No.
 
I’m determined to just be by myself for a while.”

“That’s good.
 
Very good.
 
Your last two relationships ended and began within two weeks of each other, and they both lasted two years, two very
impressionable
years.
 
Jumping from one relationship and into another gives you no time to gain any perspective, especially at your age.
 
I think it would benefit you greatly to remain single.
 
We’ve gone over this exhaustively, but with your past, and your patterns, you strike me as a prime candidate for love addiction.”

I tensed at the mention of my past.
 
The room at large knew a lot of it, but I’d kept the really nasty bits from everyone except for Lucy and Bev.
 
Those two were like a truth serum for me most of the time.
 
I couldn’t keep a thing from either of them for long.

“I hate that term,” Candy said with a smirk.

Lucy waved her off.
 
“I’ll call it codependency, if that makes you feel better.”

“It does.”

Lucy ignored her, still focused on me.
 
“You grew up with an addicted parent, and so far, both of the long term relationships you’ve been in, have turned out to be with addicts.
 
Down the road, when you do start dating, I want you to be very careful about the men who you find yourself
very
attracted to, because of your history with addicts.
 
The chaotic bad boys have not been good for you.
 
You need to reprogram yourself to start looking for men that could be considered stable.
 
Does that make sense?”

I nodded.
 
It made way too much sense, and my mind shot to Tristan.
 
Chaotic bad boy…
She’d hit that one on the head.

She smiled warmly.
 
“Okay, I’m done picking on you.
 
Love you, girl.”

I swallowed hard.
 
“Love you, too.”

“I love all of you hookers,” Candy said loudly.
 

It eased the tension, and we all laughed.
 

Lucy looked at Bev.
 
“And what about you?
 
How are things with Jerry?”

Bev sighed heavily.
 
“They’re good.
 
They’ve been pretty good for a while, but recently, when I’d thought he’d done another stupid thing, all of my anger just came back, as though all of our progress together had just disappeared, which made me realize that my anger is still very present.”

Shit, shit, shit
, I thought.
 
I’d begun to feel like I’d made some sort of peace about having lied to her about Jerry and Tristan, but that guilt came flooding back in spades as I realized what she was talking about.

“And what exactly happened that made your anger resurface?”

Bev grimaced.
 
“It was all a misunderstanding, but I thought he’d brought home another musician, which would have meant that he was out playing around with the band thing, instead of looking around for another firm, like he promised he would.”
 

“Anger often lingers, just looking for ways to come out, but you’re doing all of the right things.
 
If you both
keep
doing the right things, that anger will slowly fade with time, instead of staying right under the surface.”
 

Bev nodded.

“Anyone else have anything they want to talk about?
 
Something to get off your chest?”

“My hemorrhoids are flaring up,” Olga said loudly, her accent heavy.
 

I tried my hardest not to laugh, we all did, but as soon as I saw that Olga was grinning, I lost it.

“I can get you a referral for that,” Lucy said.
 

“Not necessary,” Olga said.
 

“Anyone else?
 
Should we break for snacks and cocktails?”

“I don’t think I’m attracted to my husband anymore,” Jen said, smoothing her green skirt over her legs in a nervous gesture.
 
“I have to stifle the urge to cringe away from his touch.”

“You’ve been struggling with this for quite some time.
 
Since your three-year old was born, correct?
 
Has it changed recently?
 
Are your feelings of distaste more acute?”

Jen nodded, her eyes wide.
 
“I don’t know what it is.
 
He tries, he really does, but when I get even an inkling that he’s going to make a pass at me, I want to run in the other direction.”
 

“You say that you want to run in the other direction, but not that you do that.
 
What is it that you actually do?”

Jen looked very vulnerable as she answered.
 
“I just…do what he wants.
 
I don’t say anything.
 
I just get it over with.”

“Have you said anything to him about it?
 
Does he know that you don’t enjoy your sexual encounters?”

Jen shook her head, wincing.
 
“I haven’t said anything to him about it.
 
I think he knows that I don’t climax anymore, but he doesn’t know that I hate having sex with him.”

“Well, a lot of things could have started the decline in your sex drive, but I think I can tell you why it’s suddenly gotten worse.
 
Even though he may be clueless to the fact that you’re finding sex with him distasteful, you’re likely beginning to resent him for it.
 
Have you considered telling him how you feel?”

“I don’t know how.
 
I’m afraid it would make him mad, or even hurt his feelings, if I told him that I’ve basically just been suffering his advances for so long.”

“Hm.
 
Maybe don’t tell him all that.
 
And certainly don’t begin with that.
 
You could just begin by telling him that your sex drive has gone away.
 
How ever you open up the communication, though, the point is that you begin to talk about these things.
 
Communication is an important component to all types of intimacy, even the physical kind.”

Jen nodded, took a deep breath, then smiled.
 
“I’ll give it a shot.
 
I vote it’s time for cocktail number two.”