Baehrly Alive (7 page)

“I’d killed before,” I said, frowning at the book in front of me so I didn’t have to look at Donovan. “Paige was a serial killer. If I hadn’t stopped her, she would have kept killing.”

“She was also a beautiful, young girl with loads of potential,” Donovan said softly. “Don’t you think I’ve noticed that you can’t even look at pictures of your youngest sisters without shuddering? Killing Paige has affected you more than you let on.”

“Try the whole idea of turning into a mindless, voracious undead parasite,” I shot back. “Every day—every night—I know that I am closer to turning. Once that happens, then it’s over. It doesn’t matter what I’ve done or what I’ve planned for my future—my soul is a mess of vampire venom. I’m not even looking at a clean death. The best I can hope for is for one of you to be nearby so you can kill me.”

Donovan paused with his hand over a crystal ball. “You wanted to marry Kodi because you knew he could kill you when you changed?”

“Well, it sounds crazy when you say it like that,” I muttered.

“That’s because it is crazy.” Donovan came around the desk to grab my shoulders. “Will you please stop trying to plan your death? It’s more than a little morbid. I don’t understand while you’ll fight so hard day and night to save Gwyn, but you won’t do anything to try to save yourself.”

“Maybe I’m just being realistic,” I muttered, trying to pull away from his hands. I stepped away from him. I always felt confused when I was that near to him.

Donovan leaned toward me.

I tried to avoid his eyes. “Donovan,” I started.

“No,” he said abruptly, reaching across the gaps—both physical and metaphysical—stretching out between us. “I’m going to talk this time. You let Kodi have his say. Now it’s my turn.”

I moistened my lips, wishing he wouldn’t pin me with those incredibly blue eyes of his like that.

It wasn’t fair.

I hoped he had a license for those eyes—because they were wreaking mass destruction inside of me.

Not a good thing when your soul is as shredded as mine is.

I crossed my arms over my chest to hide my discomfiture. “I don’t think there’s anything to say.”

“You know there is, or you wouldn’t be running.”

I scowled. That logic was unfair and he knew it.

Donovan cradled my face in his hands. “Do you know why I’m here?”

I rolled my eyes. “Because the rents cheaper and I can’t seem to keep my animals fed without you?”

Donovan sighed. “I mean the real reason—the reason why you’ve been avoiding me ever since Kodi put that ring on your finger.”

I wiggled my ring-less finger at the reminder. It still felt strange to have the weight gone.

Not necessarily strange-bad, but most definitely different.

“Maybe you just get on my nerves,” I muttered, still refusing to look up into his eyes.

Without warning of any kind, Donovan dipped down his head and took possession of my mouth. His lips brushed against mine—feather-light, then firmly, coaxing me to respond, to awaken under his touch.

I tried to fight it—I really did—but there had always been this something between us—this spark of heat that threatened to consume us. I couldn’t help myself. I slid my arms around his back, closed my eyes, and fell into that kiss.

Heat roared through me—incinerating my skin, my bones. Every single hair, every eyelash, every molecule of my being danced and sparked, blooming under his touch.

Leaving me breathless and desperate for more.

Donovan leaned away from me to look down on my face.

“If you say anything right now,” I growled, “I will kill you. Kiss me again. Now!”

With a willing smile, Donovan swept me into his arms and obeyed my command.

I awoke the next morning with a smile on my lips. I had actually managed to sleep more than a few hours strung together—dreaming about Donovan the whole time.

There was something wrong, I thought, about feeling so euphoric about one man when I had just been engaged to another a few days ago.

I couldn’t help it, though.

Something in Donovan made my soul sparkle.

I actually whistled as I got ready for my day—feeding the animals, showering—I’d only made the mistake of doing that in the opposite order once; going to work smelling like slightly scorched raw quail is not a desirable thing—and heading off to Magic Central to spend my day nose-deep in paperwork.

Even discovering that I had filed my permit for having a zombie on my premises wrong couldn’t get me down, though it was a wrinkle that threatened to disrupt my entire day.

If only someone could bottle up that blissful euphoria of connecting with someone—those glory days early on in a relationship.

At least, I hoped this time that Donovan would have a chance to have a relationship.

I really needed to stop getting bitten by things. First, the whole were bear thing had scared him off, then I’d gotten bitten by vampires—not to mention engaged.

Was it too much to ask the universe at large to keep its teeth to itself?

If the whole preserve thing fell apart, I could always write my life’s story down as a fantasy soap opera. No one would ever believe any of it was true.

I filed that idea away for a rainy day.

It had potential.

I wouldn’t mind being an author someday.

After all, I liked books—and that had to be the first step, right?

It was not until later that afternoon that I came face to face with one of the few things that could kill my buzz faster than a dragonfly by a magnitoad—and that was sonically fast.

Kodi knocked on my door.

Ah, guilt. Horrible, terrible guilt.

I was sure that Kodi could sense everything that Donovan and I had said—and done—together just by looking at my face. The longer he looked at me, the hotter my face became, and the more sure I was that my head might as well just explode here and now.

Kodi was no idiot.

That was the problem.

“While the cat’s away, eh?” he teased, scooching his rear-end onto the corner of my desk and grinning at my discomfiture. “You know, I’m not stupid. I know how much you and Donovan like each other.”

I didn’t even try to pretend not to know what he was talking about. Kodi deserved better than that. “I guess I should be sorry,” I said meekly. “And I am—I’m sorry that it feels like I was cheating on you—I’m not sorry that it happened, though.”

Kodi chuckled. “That is a pretty piss-poor excuse for an apology you know.”

I glared at him.

“That’s better.” Kodi shook his head. “Goldie, I broke off our engagement so you could find out whether you could marry me for the right reasons or not. If that means exploring your options—well, I’m not completely happy about it, but I can deal. Because—“ He waved his finger at my nose in emphasis, “I have every confidence that you will discover just how perfect we are for each other someday—to realize that we, and not just our bears, are soul-mates. And then we’ll have that perfect wedding. I can wait—after all, you waited for me to be ready for three years. Payback’s a bitch, right?”

I couldn’t help but grin back at him. Kodi was incorrigible.

“It kind of sucks that you’re being so understanding,” I told him.

His grin widened. “I know. It’s driving you crazy, isn’t it? Well, here’s something you can dig those angry little claws of yours into—Hypatia sent this over.” He held out a slim book, bound in very dusty hide of some kind. “She says it might be useful.”

I jumped up and clapped my hands.

Kodi shook his head at me. “When you do that it tears all your street cred to shreds, you know.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Whatever. This is the first thing Hypatia’s been able to suggest for me so far. Let’s hope that it’s a good lead.” I felt my face turn sober. “Gwyn’s not doing well. She’s fading fast.”

Kodi nodded sympathetically. “I saw that, when I was last at the house. How much time do you think she has?”

I shook my head. “It’s so hard to tell. We have so little information. She could have months left—or maybe just weeks. I definitely can’t afford to waste any time if we’re going to be able to save her. The healers say there’s a point at which her soul and Magic would never be able to recover.”

Kodi winced. “Well, I won’t waste your time. I hope you find what it is you’re looking for.”

I didn’t even glance up as he left. “So do I.”

Chapter Six

“It looks like we’re going back to Mongolia,” I announced at the dinner table.

“Mongolia?” Gwyn echoed.

“Back?” Donovan muttered.

I nodded to him. “We went through Mongolia when I got Petunia after her herd had been—“ I glanced toward Thomas, not sure how I should end that sentence.

“Exterminated?” he suggested. “You know, I’m eight years old, Goldie—not three. I know what poachers do. It’s despicable.”

Gwyn stifled a chuckle in her napkin. I wasn’t sure if it was aimed toward my flummoxed expression or toward her precocious offspring.

That boy was definitely too grown up for his age. I was going to have to get him involved in soccer or jousting—something more appropriate for a boy his age.

I wondered what my dad had done with my old armor when I was that age.

I shook my head to clear it. “We’re going to Mongolia,” I clarified, “because there are two artifacts that are reported to be there that might help us on our noble quest.” I struck a dramatic pose. When that didn’t garner any applause, I sighed and went on. “We’re looking for a fount of youth… not the fabled Fountain of Youth, but actually the site of a healing spring. Supposedly the waters can cure any malaise.”

Thomas looked confused.

“Disease,” Donovan interjected. “Goldie’s just showing off… again.”

I made a face at him.

“Children,” Gwyn admonished.

Once a stepmother, always a stepmother, I guessed.

“The other thing is the Shield Maiden’s blade,” I said, opening the book to the proper page and showing the picture. “It’s a small knife, but apparently it has the ability to cleanse blood. I’m hoping that that’s not all it can cleanse.”

I didn’t want to mention that I would only use the knife as a last resort—as using it would require me cutting into Gwyn. I could tell she had realized the same thing by her guarded expression.

I wasn’t going to cross a potential cure off of the list just because it was… icky.

“Who gets to go?” Thomas demanded, staring at the drawing of the knife with all the fascination a little boy could muster. “Can I go?”

I shook my head. “Sorry, kiddo. We’re dealing with stuff like curses and protection spells. There’s no way—and I mean NO way—that I would ever take you along on something like this. It’s way too dangerous.” I bit my lip as I took in his crestfallen expression. I remembered all-too-well what it felt like to be too young to take part in an adventure. I had hated it when my dad ‘babied’ me. “Who would control the hellcats if anything happened while we were away?” I pointed out. “This place just can’t run smoothly without you. Plus, someone has to make sure your mom gets to bed on time and eats her veggies.”

Thomas giggled. He knew exactly what I was trying to do, but I could tell it still made him feel better about being left behind.

“Well, you’re not leaving me behind,” Donovan said. “You can’t convince me that you’d be safer going it alone.”

I shook my head. “Not at all. I’m not that reckless. You might not have Magic—not that mine’s all that strong these days—but you have brains and brawn—two things that always come in handy when exploring. Pack some gloves. I see digging in our future.”

“Our future, or mine?” he murmured.

Petunia squeaked from under Thomas’s chair. She always sat there at meals—she had learned quickly that he was willing to slip her all the things she loved from his plate.

“You’re not coming either, love,” I told her, scratching her head as she butted around my knees. “I’ll keep an eye out for more miniature mastodons, I promise.”

Donovan smiled and leaned over to scratch behind Petunia’s ears. “I wouldn’t mind a few more of these hanging around the place.”

I closed my eyes and tried to picture what it would be like to have a whole herd of miniature mastodons at the preserve.

It wasn’t hard to do. I’d had a lot of practice over the past few years—dreaming about getting a real family for Petunia. Humans were a poor substitution for a baby mastodon’s parents. In the wild—without the interference of poachers-- Petunia would have lived with her mother and her extended family for her entire life.

Only male mastodons ever left the herd they were born into, and that was only to join with other herds or to form new ones.

Petunia living alone with me wasn’t fair to her.

Not to mention, even if I were healthy she would have outlived me. Most healthy mastodons lived to see at least one centennial birthday.

Not that any had since Faerie and the human world had been separated.